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Unique
12-10-2006, 04:02 AM
My tongue got all twisted today,
When I invited a friend out to play.
It just could have been
That I wanted to sing
so he offered a roll in the hay. :Shrug:


The critters were all fast asleep

Gray
12-10-2006, 04:28 AM
The critters were all fast asleep
so I tried not to make a peep

JDCrayne
12-10-2006, 05:58 AM
The critters were all fast asleep
so I tried not to make a peep.
I tiptoed around,

Gray
12-10-2006, 06:02 AM
The critters were all fast alseep
so I tried not to make a peep.
I tiptoed around,
but didn't look at the ground,

JDCrayne
12-10-2006, 06:15 AM
The critters were all fast alseep
so I tried not to make a peep.
I tiptoed around,
but didn't look at the ground,
And fell on my rump in a heap.


I've a strange pot of stew on the stove,

Gray
12-10-2006, 06:32 AM
I've a strange pot of stew on the stove,
it smells of yak and dirty boiled clothes

Unique
12-10-2006, 06:51 AM
I've a strange pot of stew on the stove,
it smells of yak and dirty boiled clothes
But the inlaws are coming

Gray
12-10-2006, 06:55 AM
there is a strange pot of stew on the stove
it smells of yak and dirty boiled clothes
but the in-laws are coming
and something this cunning

Unique
12-10-2006, 09:59 PM
there is a strange pot of stew on the stove
it smells of yak and dirty boiled clothes
but the in-laws are coming
and something this cunning
will work when I douse it with clove.


I made nutless brittle last night

WildScribe
12-10-2006, 10:06 PM
I made nutless brittle last night
I'm hoping I did it just right

Unique
12-10-2006, 10:40 PM
I made nutless brittle last night
I'm hoping I did it just right
it's a gift for dclary..........c'mon. ya know you want to

Gray
12-10-2006, 11:42 PM
I made a nutless brittle last night
I'm hoping I did it just right
It's a gift for dclary
I know he's not sharing

Pthom
12-11-2006, 07:15 AM
I made a nutless brittle last night
I'm hoping I did it just right
It's a gift for dclary
I know he's not sharing
He ate the whole thing in one bite!

Tonight, with my pork and potatoes

JDCrayne
12-11-2006, 07:17 AM
Tonight, with my pork and potatoes,
Zuchini and rotten tomatoes,

Gray
12-11-2006, 07:33 AM
tonight with my pork and potatoes,
zuchini and rotten tomatoes,
I know it sounds gross,

JDCrayne
12-11-2006, 07:36 AM
tonight with my pork and potatoes,
zuchini and rotten tomatoes,
I know it sounds gross,
But a touch of sucrose,

Gray
12-11-2006, 07:42 AM
tonight with my pork and potatoes
zuchini and rotten tomatoes
I know it sounds gross
but a touch of sucrose
then it's the opposite of alfredo


The sign said they could absolve my sin,

Pthom
12-11-2006, 11:41 AM
The sign said they could absolve my sin
of messing up the meter of a limerick while in

Unique
12-11-2006, 05:02 PM
The sign said they could absolve my sin
of messing up the meter of a limerick while in
but the sign, it did lie

threedogpeople
12-11-2006, 08:55 PM
The sign said they could absolve my sin
of messing up the meter of a limerick while in
but the sign, it did lie
now the kitty must dye (yes, "dye" not "die"

Zonk
12-11-2006, 09:29 PM
The sign said they could absolve my sin
of messing up the meter of a limerick while in
but the sign, it did lie
now the kitty must dye
a horsehair shirt for me to live in




A writer in search of an agent


:D:D:D

CaoPaux
12-12-2006, 12:02 AM
A writer in search of an agent
Asked a good friend (a sage gent)

Serena Casey
12-12-2006, 12:13 AM
A writer in search of an agent
Asked a good friend (a sage gent)
To help him get published

Zonk
12-12-2006, 03:35 AM
A writer in search of an agent
Asked a good friend (a sage gent)
To help him get published
and avoid PA's rubbish



:D:D:D

MarkButler
12-12-2006, 04:05 AM
A writer in search of an agent
Asked a good friend (a sage gent)
To help him get published
and avoid PA's rubbish
Or his nose would get bent.

The life of a writer is to die for

JDCrayne
12-12-2006, 06:57 AM
The life of a writer is to die for,
But the pay rate is hardly to sigh for.

Serena Casey
12-12-2006, 08:15 AM
The life of a writer is to die for,
But the pay rate is hardly to sigh for.
And as for the fame,

Pthom
12-12-2006, 12:15 PM
The life of a writer is to die for,
But the pay rate is hardly to sigh for.
And as for the fame,
There is no one to blame.

MidnightMuse
12-12-2006, 09:57 PM
The life of a writer is to die for,
But the pay rate is hardly to sigh for.
And as for the fame,
There is no one to blame.
All those flashes would have just made your eyes sore.


There's mistletoe stuck in my hair!

Pthom
12-12-2006, 11:35 PM
There's mistletoe stuck in my hair!
But darlin', you needn't dispair.

Unique
12-13-2006, 02:11 AM
There's mistletoe stuck in my hair!
But darlin', you needn't dispair.
Just give it a yank

MidnightMuse
12-13-2006, 02:43 AM
There's mistletoe stuck in my hair!
But darlin', you needn't dispair.
Just give it a yank,
Three tugs and a crank.

Pthom
12-13-2006, 03:33 AM
There's mistletoe stuck in my hair!
But darlin', you needn't dispair.
Just give it a yank,
Three tugs and a crank
And to the boudoir we'll repair!

Last Christmas my wife gave me gloves.

poetinahat
12-13-2006, 03:40 AM
Last Christmas my wife gave me gloves.
They're great little hammocks for doves.

Unique
12-13-2006, 04:37 AM
Last Christmas my wife gave me gloves.
They're great little hammocks for doves.
They sit there and coo

JDCrayne
12-14-2006, 06:02 AM
Last Christmas my wife gave me gloves.
They're great little hammocks for doves.
They sit there and coo,
Their crap makes me blue,

Pthom
12-15-2006, 03:28 AM
Last Christmas my wife gave me gloves.
They're great little hammocks for doves.
They sit there and coo,
Their crap makes me blue.
(The doves, not the gloves, gods above!)

A haiku has only three lines

Zonk
12-15-2006, 03:54 AM
A haiku has only three lines
the hai, the ku, an absence of rhymes

:D:D:D

JDCrayne
12-15-2006, 08:08 AM
A haiku has only three lines
the hai, the ku, an absence of rhymes.
Metaphysical thoughts,

Pthom
12-16-2006, 01:51 AM
A haiku has only three lines
the hai, the ku, an absence of rhymes.
Metaphysical thoughts,
Like dregs in teapots

Zonk
12-16-2006, 02:11 AM
A haiku has only three lines
the hai, the ku, an absence of rhymes.
Metaphysical thoughts,
Like dregs in teapots
or the fragrance of heady red wines


'There's a fly in your soup,' said the waiter


:D:D:D

JDCrayne
12-16-2006, 05:08 AM
'There's a fly in your soup,' said the waiter
"It's the waitresse's fault, and I hate 'er!"

Unique
12-16-2006, 05:21 AM
'There's a fly in your soup,' said the waiter
"It's the waitresse's fault, and I hate 'er!"
She doesn't take care

Gray
12-16-2006, 05:24 AM
There's a fly in my soup,' said the waiter
It's the waitress, fault and I hate 'er
she doesn't take care
and I'll bet theres a hair

JDCrayne
12-16-2006, 09:18 AM
There's a fly in your soup,' said the waiter
"It's the waitresse's fault, and I hate 'er!
With her large, vacant grin,
And the drool on her chin,

Pthom
12-16-2006, 12:12 PM
There's a fly in my soup,' said the waiter
It's the waitress's fault and I hate 'er
she doesn't take care
and I'll bet theres a hair
In a place where the chef hid the beater.

There's a fly in your soup,' said the waiter
"It's the waitress's fault, and I hate 'er!
With her large, vacant grin,
And the drool on her chin,
I won't be back there sooner or later!

In the deepest dark night in the winter

Unique
12-16-2006, 03:32 PM
In the deepest dark night in the winter
twas so cold I felt my teeth splinter

JDCrayne
12-17-2006, 06:58 AM
In the deepest dark night in the winter
twas so cold I felt my teeth splinter.
With ice on my nose,

Jongfan
12-17-2006, 07:09 AM
In the deepest dark night in the winter
twas so cold I felt my teeth splinter
With ice on my nose
and frostbitten toes

Write_At_1st_Light
12-17-2006, 09:55 AM
In the deepest dark night in the winter
twas so cold I felt my teeth splinter
With ice on my nose,
and frostbitten toes,
"Frosted!" said I to my hair tinter.

I ran up the steps of the courthouse,

JDCrayne
12-17-2006, 10:35 AM
I ran up the steps of the courthouse,
To plead for the very last lab mouse.

Serena Casey
12-18-2006, 04:43 AM
I ran up the steps of the courthouse,
To plead for the very last lab mouse.
Its reprieve secured,

Pthom
12-18-2006, 04:54 AM
I ran up the steps of the courthouse,
To plead for the very last lab mouse.
Its reprieve secured,
You may rest assured

JDCrayne
12-18-2006, 06:12 AM
I ran up the steps of the courthouse,
To plead for the very last lab mouse.
Its reprieve secured,
You may rest assured,
So we can go out and carouse!


A hedgehog has very sharp quills.

PrettySpecialGal
12-18-2006, 09:59 AM
A hedgehog has very sharp quills.
And his voice, a rather sharp shrill

AnnMB
12-19-2006, 07:53 AM
A hedgehog has very sharp quills
And his vice a rather sharp shrill
If you try to pet it
you'll live to regret it,
But I heard they taste good on the grill.


Santa fell out of his sleigh

JDCrayne
12-19-2006, 07:54 AM
Santa fell out of his sleigh,
Causing one of the reindeer to say,

AnnMB
12-19-2006, 08:10 AM
Santa fell out of his sleigh
Causing one of the reindeer to say
Stop drinking that Egg Nog

Unique
12-19-2006, 03:37 PM
Santa fell out of his sleigh
Causing one of the reindeer to say
Stop drinking that Egg Nog
You'll end up on Raed's blog

AnnMB
12-19-2006, 09:24 PM
Santa fell out of his sleigh
Causing one reindeer to say
Stop drinking that Egg Nog
You'll end up on Raed's blog
A bad way to spend Christmas Day!


On Christmas I bought a pet parrot

Unique
12-20-2006, 02:53 AM
On Christmas I bought a pet parrot
not thinking, I gave him a carrot

MidnightMuse
12-20-2006, 03:03 AM
On Christmas I bought a pet parrot
not thinking, I gave him a carrot.
Now orange goo he has spewed,

Pat~
12-20-2006, 03:14 AM
On Christmas I bought a pet parrot
not thinking, I gave him a carrot.
Now orange goo he has spewed,
And his talk has turned lewd,

K1P1
12-20-2006, 04:06 AM
On Christmas I bought a pet parrot
not thinking, I gave him a carrot.
Now orange goo he has spewed,
And his talk has turned lewd,
So I'll trade him in for a ferret.

The silvery ring round the moon

K1P1
12-20-2006, 07:28 AM
The silvery ring round the moon
Il augmente le beau clair de lune.
Si le ciele a tombe

Zonk
12-20-2006, 08:37 AM
The silvery ring round the moon
Il augmente le beau clair de lune.
Si le ciele a tombe
la lune aurait certainement flambee

:D:D:D

K1P1
12-20-2006, 03:37 PM
The silvery ring round the moon
Il augmente le beau clair de lune.
Si le ciele a tombe
la lune aurait certainement flambee
Et tout le monde aurait toujours plus jeune.

[sorry - can't remember my verb endings for 3rd person plural (or would "tout" be a collective noun taking the singular?)]

The reindeer are going on strike.

Unique
12-20-2006, 05:26 PM
The reindeer are going on strike.
And first on the line is old Spike.

MidnightMuse
12-20-2006, 07:23 PM
The reindeer are going on strike.
And first on the line is old Spike.
He's Rudolf's third cousin,

K1P1
12-21-2006, 06:05 AM
The reindeer are going on strike.
And first on the line is old Spike.
He's Rudolf's third cousin,
And talks ten to the dozen

threedogpeople
12-21-2006, 08:39 AM
The reindeer are going on strike.
And first on the line is old Spike.
He's Rudolf's third cousin,
And talks ten to the dozen
he's the one on the blue boys bike.

If you give them an increase of fodder,

Pthom
12-21-2006, 10:17 AM
If you give them an increase of fodder
And harness repaired with hard solder

Meaney
12-21-2006, 02:18 PM
If you give them an increase of fodder
And harness repaired with hard solder
And Christmas Day off

K1P1
12-21-2006, 04:52 PM
If you give them an increase of fodder
And harness repaired with hard solder
And Christmas Day off
Their antlers they'd doff

dobiwon
12-22-2006, 12:52 AM
If you give them an increase of fodder
And harness repaired with hard solder
And Christmas Day off
Their antlers they'd doff
And then they would act even odder.



How did the Partridge get in the tree?
Why do the French Hens number just three?

PattiTheWicked
12-22-2006, 01:17 AM
How did the Partridge get in the tree?
Why do the French Hens number just three?
Maybe French Toast instead

Meaney
12-22-2006, 03:35 AM
How did the Partridge get in the tree?
Why do the French Hens number just three?
Maybe French Toast instead
and gold rings made of bread

Pthom
12-22-2006, 10:15 AM
How did the Partridge get in the tree?
Why do the French Hens number just three?
Maybe French Toast instead
and gold rings made of bread
Which the Lords fed Ladies for free!

When the drummers and the pipers were through

Unique
12-22-2006, 06:53 PM
When the drummers and the pipers were through
there wasn't much more they could do

dobiwon
12-22-2006, 07:26 PM
When the drummers and the pipers were through
there wasn't much more they could do
They gathered their gear

MidnightMuse
12-22-2006, 10:38 PM
When the drummers and the pipers were through
there wasn't much more they could do.
They gathered their gear,
And stole half the beer!

threedogpeople
12-22-2006, 10:41 PM
When the drummers and the pipers were through
there wasn't much more they could do.
They gathered their gear,
And stole half the beer!
Then laughed when we all cried, "boo hoo".

I asked for a day without in-laws,

Pthom
12-23-2006, 01:30 AM
I asked for a day without in-laws:
I would rather go dancing with chain saws!

threedogpeople
12-23-2006, 02:31 AM
I asked for a day without in-laws:
I would rather go dancing with chain saws!
but my Christmas wish,

K1P1
12-23-2006, 08:20 AM
I asked for a day without in-laws:
I would rather go dancing with chain saws!
but my Christmas wish,
Is for expensive smoked fish

threedogpeople
12-23-2006, 10:39 PM
I asked for a day without in-laws:
I would rather go dancing with chain saws!
but my Christmas wish,
Is for expensive smoked fish
and a hug from my cat (minus claws).

I once got a little red trike

K1P1
12-24-2006, 01:29 AM
I once got a little red trike
which I rode on the top of the dyke

threedogpeople
12-24-2006, 02:17 AM
I once got a little red trike
which I rode on the top of the dyke
I drove it quite fast

K1P1
12-24-2006, 02:41 AM
I once got a little red trike
which I rode on the top of the dyke
I drove it quite fast
And all whom I passed

threedogpeople
12-24-2006, 10:16 AM
I once got a little red trike
which I rode on the top of the dyke
I drove it quite fast
And all whom I passed
said, "look at the tyke on the bike"!

I said, "I've been naughty this year"

K1P1
12-24-2006, 03:39 PM
I said, "I've been naughty this year"
Santa quipped, "No problem my dear...

NickDangr
12-25-2006, 06:14 AM
I said, "I've been naughty this year"
Santa quipped, "No problem my dear...
Tugged open his sack,

K1P1
12-25-2006, 06:49 AM
I said, "I've been naughty this year"
Santa quipped, "No problem my dear...
Tugged open his sack,
And pulled out a rack

Unique
12-25-2006, 06:52 PM
I said, "I've been naughty this year"
Santa quipped, "No problem my dear...
Tugged open his sack,
And pulled out a rack
And said, 'Now you're truly a deer'.


It was raining so early this morning

Meaney
12-26-2006, 04:43 PM
It was raining so early this morning
My cheeks the raindrops were adorning

Unique
12-26-2006, 05:28 PM
It was raining so early this morning
My cheeks the raindrops were adorning
I don't mind the wet

PattiTheWicked
12-26-2006, 07:46 PM
It was raining so early this morning
My cheeks the raindrops were adorning
I don't mind the wet
or how soggy I get

Meaney
12-27-2006, 04:31 AM
It was raining so early this morning
My cheeks the raindrops were adorning
I don't mind the wet
or how soggy I get
but the lack of significant warning.

Kung Fu sensei said, "Grasshopper,

NickDangr
12-27-2006, 04:35 AM
Kung Fu sensei said, "Grasshopper,
When your robe is untied, its improper

Unique
12-27-2006, 04:51 AM
Kung Fu sensei said, "Grasshopper,
When your robe is untied, its improper
to show us your wares

Cath
12-27-2006, 04:52 AM
Kung Fu sensei said, "Grasshopper,
When your robe is untied, its improper
to show us your wares
Well, quite frankly, it scares

NickDangr
12-27-2006, 06:08 AM
Kung Fu sensei said, "Grasshopper,
When your robe is untied, its improper
to show us your wares
Well, quite frankly, it scares
If you snatch at this pebble, you'll drop 'er!

A wily young youth from the Arctic...

Pthom
12-27-2006, 06:13 AM
A wily young youth from the Arctic
While trying to write with our Bart's Bic

Cath
12-27-2006, 06:14 AM
A wily young youth from the Arctic
While trying to write with our Bart's Bic
got ink on his thumb

NickDangr
12-27-2006, 08:26 AM
A wily young youth from the Arctic
While trying to write with our Bart's Bic
got ink on his thumb
while drinking his rum,

Meaney
12-27-2006, 08:37 AM
A wily young youth from the Arctic
While trying to write with our Bart's Bic
got ink on his thumb
while drinking his rum,
and found his thumb painting cathartic.

The governor's ugly vernacular

Pthom
12-27-2006, 11:23 AM
The governor's ugly vernacular
Is usually far from spectacular.

Meaney
12-27-2006, 01:58 PM
The governor's ugly vernacular
Is usually far from spectacular.
"'Dem bastards," he drawls,

NickDangr
12-28-2006, 05:03 AM
The governor's ugly vernacular
Is usually far from spectacular.
"'Dem bastards," he drawls,
and more colorful calls,

Unique
12-28-2006, 05:34 AM
The governor's ugly vernacular
Is usually far from spectacular.
"'Dem bastards," he drawls,
and more colorful calls,
end up as verbal ejacular. (okay - so it's not an English word - sue me)


Old Roy took his date to the park

Meaney
12-28-2006, 05:38 AM
Old Roy took his date to the park
and was shocked when she started to bark

Unique
12-28-2006, 03:18 PM
Old Roy took his date to the park
and was shocked when she started to bark
The full moon in the sky
was making her high

Meaney
12-28-2006, 04:28 PM
Old Roy took his date to the park
and was shocked when she started to bark
The full moon in the sky
was making her high
or was it the hash (question mark)

If you ever encounter a gnu

Pthom
12-28-2006, 11:14 PM
If you ever encounter a gnu
Don't confuse it with Spiro Agnew.

MidnightMuse
12-28-2006, 11:36 PM
If you ever encounter a gnu
Don't confuse it with Spiro Agnew.
While one's much akin to a Yak,

Meaney
12-29-2006, 02:58 AM
If you ever encounter a gnu
Don't confuse it with Spiro Agnew.
One's akin to a yak [corrected for meter]
and the other a hack

Pthom
12-29-2006, 04:17 AM
If you ever encounter a gnu
Don't confuse it with Spiro Agnew.
While one's kin to a yak [re-corrected for sense--or nonsense]
And the other's a hack, [added contractive verb :p]
Only gnus can be turned into glue.

A poet I certainly aren't.

PrettySpecialGal
12-29-2006, 05:17 AM
A poet I certainly aren't,
Although I try to stay current

(Sorry, that was a stretch, I know- but YOU try and rhyme aren't)

Meaney
12-29-2006, 07:03 AM
A poet I certainly aren't,
Although I try to stay current
with new words like "blog"


(Sorry, that was a stretch, I know- but YOU try and rhyme aren't) I thought it kept with the theme rather well!

PrettySpecialGal
12-29-2006, 06:41 PM
A poet I certainly aren't,
Although I try to stay current
with new words like "blog"
My head's in a fog

Unique
12-29-2006, 06:44 PM
A poet I certainly aren't,
Although I try to stay current
with new words like "blog"
My head's in a fog
And I feel like a total obdurant.


The words I like best always rhyme

oswann
12-29-2006, 06:46 PM
The words I like best always rhyme
Which is why need to take time

Meaney
12-30-2006, 11:53 AM
The words I like best always rhyme
Which is why I will need to take time
to rhyme words like "angst"

Pthom
12-30-2006, 11:53 AM
The words I like best always rhyme
Which is why need to take time
To cook up some pasta

oops ... cross posted

The words I like best always rhyme
Which is why need to take time
To rhyme words like “angst.”
Such impossible pranks

Unique
01-01-2007, 12:44 AM
The words I like best always rhyme
Which is why need to take time
To rhyme words like “angst.”
Such impossible pranks
makes limerick killing a crime.

What are you making for dinner

Serena Casey
01-01-2007, 05:09 AM
What are you making for dinner
No doubt it won't make me thinner

Pthom
01-01-2007, 05:25 AM
What are you making for dinner
No doubt it won't make me thinner
But what's fat for some

Serena Casey
01-01-2007, 07:11 AM
What are you making for dinner
No doubt it won't make me thinner
But what's fat for some
Is bliss for the dumb,

Unique
01-01-2007, 08:15 AM
What are you making for dinner
No doubt it won't make me thinner
But what's fat for some
Is bliss for the dumb,
but if it tastes good it's a winner!

It's forty-five minutes 'til time

Meaney
01-02-2007, 04:54 AM
It's forty-five minutes 'til time
to finish this limerick rhyme

PattiTheWicked
01-02-2007, 05:37 AM
It's forty-five minutes 'til time
to finish this limerick rhyme
The clock is ticking

Meaney
01-02-2007, 06:39 AM
It's forty-five minutes 'til time
to finish this limerick rhyme
The clock, it is ticking
My mind, it is sticking

Pthom
01-02-2007, 09:16 AM
Jade, yer s'posed to give us the first line of the next limerick.

Unique
01-02-2007, 09:45 PM
The year has begun with a bang,
thus started the cycle of yang

JDCrayne
01-03-2007, 01:20 AM
The year has begun with a bang,
thus started the cycle of yang.
But yin is still missing,

Unique
01-03-2007, 01:23 AM
The year has begun with a bang,
thus started the cycle of yang.
But yin is still missing,
the past, it's french kissing

JDCrayne
01-03-2007, 04:53 AM
The year has begun with a bang,
thus started the cycle of yang.
But yin is still missing,
the past, it's french kissing,
And the Fat Lady already sang.

Hark to the sound of the rooster,

Unique
01-03-2007, 05:06 AM
Hark to the sound of the rooster,
he's a V-Garden serial booster

JDCrayne
01-03-2007, 06:43 AM
Hark to the sound of the rooster,
he's a V-Garden serial booster.
His pecker is sharp,

Pthom
01-03-2007, 11:09 AM
Hark to the sound of the rooster,
he's a V-Garden serial booster.
His pecker is sharp,
E'er he plucketh the harp

Meaney
01-03-2007, 11:11 AM
Hark to the sound of the rooster;
he's a V-Garden serial booster.
His pecker is sharp,
'bout morn he'll carp,

D'oh!

Hark to the sound of the rooster,
he's a V-Garden serial booster.
His pecker is sharp,
E'er he plucketh the harp
and is published by Simon & Schuster.

poetinahat
01-03-2007, 11:17 AM
Hark to the sound of the rooster,
he's a V-Garden serial booster.
His pecker is sharp,
E'er he plucketh the harp
like goggle-eyed old Bertie Wooster

The gigolo hung out his shingle

Lantern Jack
01-03-2007, 11:17 AM
Hark to the sound of the rooster,
he's a V-Garden serial booster.
His pecker is sharp,
E'er he plucketh the harp,
He's brained by Holly the Hoosier!

Rough, I know, but manageable, if you don't mind off rhymes:tongue

Lantern Jack
01-03-2007, 11:19 AM
The gigolo hung out his shingle,
And wondered which berries he'd dingle,

Meaney
01-03-2007, 11:19 AM
What's with the lightning-fast typing around here?

Lantern Jack
01-03-2007, 11:24 AM
The gigolo hung out his shingle,
and wondered which berries he'd dingle,
when Flumpy the Flenzer

PattiTheWicked
01-03-2007, 05:46 PM
The gigolo hung out his shingle,
and wondered which berries he'd dingle,
when Flumpy the Flenzer
lost his big Pez dispenser

NickDangr
01-03-2007, 07:17 PM
The gigolo hung out his shingle,
and wondered which berries he'd dingle,
when Flumpy the Flenzer
lost his big Pez dispenser
He teased with a big can of Pringles.


Bill buffalo's kids ran amuck,...

Lantern Jack
01-03-2007, 11:23 PM
Bill buffalo's kids ran amuck,
in Bill Bigsby's bigamy truck,

PattiTheWicked
01-04-2007, 01:51 AM
Bill buffalo's kids ran amuck,
in Bill Bigsby's bigamy truck,
They babbled and bubbled

JDCrayne
01-04-2007, 05:34 AM
Bill buffalo's kids ran amuck,
in Bill Bigsby's bigamy truck.
They babbled and bubbled,
The driver was troubled,

Meaney
01-04-2007, 07:03 AM
Bill buffalo's kids ran amuck,
in Bill Bigsby's bigamy truck.
They babbled and bubbled,
The driver was troubled,
but anyway, who gives a fig.

The chimpanzee managed the pitch

JDCrayne
01-04-2007, 07:06 AM
The chimpanzee managed the pitch
Despite an unreachable itch.

Serena Casey
01-04-2007, 08:23 AM
The chimpanzee managed the pitch
Despite an unreachable itch.
The elephant doubled,

Meaney
01-05-2007, 07:46 AM
The chimpanzee managed the pitch
Despite an unreachable itch.
The elephant doubled,
the drover was troubled

JDCrayne
01-05-2007, 07:49 AM
The chimpanzee managed the pitch
Despite an unreachable itch.
The elephant doubled,
the drover was troubled
And the rhino was stuck in the ditch.


I stepped on an earthworm one day,

Meaney
01-05-2007, 07:56 AM
I stepped on an earthworm one day;
it rose up and bellowed, "Touché!"

Unique
01-05-2007, 07:56 AM
I stepped on an earthworm one day,
it wouldn't move out of my way

Pthom
01-06-2007, 03:05 AM
I stepped on an earthworm one day,
it wouldn't move out of my way
And just 'fore it squished

Jadezuki
01-06-2007, 04:17 AM
-

Unique
01-06-2007, 04:30 AM
I stepped on an earthworm one day,
it wouldn't move out of my way
And just 'fore it squished
With its last breath it wished
for one final roll in the hay.


The girlfriend, the goat and the jinn

MidnightMuse
01-06-2007, 05:13 AM
The girlfriend, the goat and the jinn
All shared a room at the Inn.

JDCrayne
01-06-2007, 05:16 AM
The girlfriend, the goat and the jinn
All shared a room at the Inn.
"Who bellowed 'Touche'?"

Unique
01-08-2007, 03:05 AM
The girlfriend, the goat and the jinn
All shared a room at the Inn.
"Who bellowed 'Touche'?"
while scorching the hay

JDCrayne
01-08-2007, 05:22 AM
The girlfriend, the goat and the jinn
All shared a room at the Inn.
Who bellowed "Touche"?
while scorching the hay,
And inciting the others to sin?


There's a scorpion under that rock!

Serena Casey
01-08-2007, 08:34 AM
There's a scorpion under that rock!
It stung me and gave me a shock

Meaney
01-08-2007, 02:06 PM
There's a scorpion under that rock!
It stung me and gave me a shock.
I blustered with venom:

Serena Casey
01-08-2007, 09:50 PM
There's a scorpion under that rock!
It stung me and gave me a shock.
I blustered with venom:
You stung through my denim!

giftedrhonda
01-08-2007, 09:53 PM
There's a scorpion under that rock!
It stung me and gave me a shock.
I blustered with venom:
You stung through my denim!
But that's better than stinging my...sock.

You guys have NO idea how hard I worked to keep that clean. LOL

Here's the new start:

My feet were smelly one day,

Serena Casey
01-08-2007, 10:28 PM
My feet were smelly one day,
So I got out the Lysol Spray

Jadezuki
01-08-2007, 10:37 PM
-

K1P1
01-08-2007, 10:45 PM
My feet were smelly one day,
So I got out the Lysol Spray.
With a spritz of fresh pine,
Off my feet you could dine

Kate Thornton
01-08-2007, 10:47 PM
My feet were smelly one day,
So I got out the Lysol Spray.
With a spritz of fresh pine,
Off my feet you could dine
If your dinner includes Fri-toe-lay

Ooops! Sorry! Forgot the next line:

With two thousand bills in my purse

JDCrayne
01-09-2007, 06:23 AM
With two thousand bills in my purse,
I ordered a gin sling to nurse,

Serena Casey
01-09-2007, 06:43 AM
With two thousand bills in my purse,
I ordered a gin sling to nurse,
Before I was through,

Meaney
01-09-2007, 09:45 AM
With two thousand bills in my purse,
I ordered a gin sling to nurse.
Before I was through,
I'd had twenty-two

Pthom
01-09-2007, 10:54 AM
With two thousand bills in my purse,
I ordered a gin sling to nurse.
Before I was through,
I'd had twenty-two
And they sent me away in a hearse.

On the floor is a pile of laundry

poetinahat
01-09-2007, 11:31 AM
On the floor is a pile of laundry
Some whites and some darks - hence my quand'ry

Meaney
01-09-2007, 02:14 PM
On the floor is a pile of laundry
Some whites and some darks - hence my quand'ry
For I've only one tub

Kate Thornton
01-09-2007, 07:46 PM
On the floor is a pile of laundry
Some whites and some darks - hence my quand'ry
For I've only one tub
In this leak-ridden sub

Pthom
01-10-2007, 11:17 AM
On the floor is a pile of laundry
Some whites and some darks - hence my quand'ry
For I've only one tub
In this leak-ridden sub.
My clothing is pure vagabondry!

The Moon and the stars and the planets

Meaney
01-10-2007, 11:26 AM
On the floor is a pile of laundry
Some whites and some darks - hence my quand'ry
For I've only one tub
In this leak-ridden sub
So I stand here all wond'ring and pondery


That was bloody tough. :e2beat:

In the dank and the dark of the dungeon

Meaney
01-10-2007, 11:27 AM
Bah! Beaten again!

Meaney
01-10-2007, 02:03 PM
The Moon and the stars and the planets
made of quartzes and plasma and granites

K1P1
01-10-2007, 04:17 PM
The Moon and the stars and the planets
made of quartzes and plasma and granites,
they sail in their orbits

Meaney
01-11-2007, 06:04 AM
The Moon and the stars and the planets
made of quartzes and plasma and granites,
They sail in their orbits
You can see 'em for four bits*


*two bits times two

Unique
01-11-2007, 06:14 AM
The Moon and the stars and the planets
made of quartzes and plasma and granites,
They sail in their orbits
You can see 'em for four bits*
the price of a rag sheet from Gannet's.

The rooster, the ox, and the duck

K1P1
01-11-2007, 06:20 AM
The rooster, the ox, and the duck
All met in the back of the truck

Meaney
01-11-2007, 08:42 AM
The rooster, the ox, and the duck
All met in the back of the truck
An unnatural act

Meaney
01-11-2007, 08:49 AM
By the way, congratulations to the thread contributors. These last three limerick were beauties.
:Thumbs:

PattiTheWicked
01-11-2007, 05:31 PM
The rooster, the ox, and the duck
All met in the back of the truck
An unnatural act
Was the plan of attack

K1P1
01-11-2007, 05:37 PM
The rooster, the ox, and the duck
All met in the back of the truck
An unnatural act
Was the plan of attack
But was stymied when truck struck a buck!

An Itkitch, a Preep and a Proo

Pthom
01-12-2007, 12:55 AM
An Itkitch, a Preep and a Proo
Are three words that I never knew

giftedrhonda
01-12-2007, 12:56 AM
An Itkitch, a Preep and a Proo
Are three words that I never knew
So I studied them hard

Kate Thornton
01-12-2007, 12:59 AM
An Itkitch, a Preep and a Proo
Are three words that I never knew
So I studied them hard
On a three by five card

K1P1
01-12-2007, 01:29 AM
An Itkitch, a Preep and a Proo
Are three words that I never knew
So I studied them hard
On a three by five card
While imbibing large vats of homebrew.

I think someone else should choose

MidnightMuse
01-12-2007, 01:56 AM
I think someone else should choose,
whether we take that drive, or a cruise.

Kate Thornton
01-12-2007, 02:00 AM
I think someone else should choose,
whether we take that drive, or a cruise.
Or maybe a ride

MidnightMuse
01-12-2007, 02:02 AM
I think someone else should choose,
whether we take that drive, or a cruise.
Or maybe a ride
Just swallow your pride.

Kate Thornton
01-12-2007, 02:06 AM
I think someone else should choose,
whether we take that drive, or a cruise.
Or maybe a ride
Just swallow your pride.
And put on your red hiking shoes

A lemur, a lion and me

MidnightMuse
01-12-2007, 02:09 AM
A lemur, a lion and me
behind the same bush for a pee.

K1P1
01-12-2007, 03:37 AM
A lemur, a lion and me
behind the same bush for a pee.
It was a tight squeeze

Meaney
01-12-2007, 08:58 AM
A lemur, a lion and me
behind the same bush for a pee.
It was a tight squeeze
They spoke only Chinese

K1P1
01-12-2007, 03:30 PM
A lemur, a lion and me
behind the same bush for a pee.
It was a tight squeeze
They spoke only Chinese
Disaster struck when we were joined by the bee!

Somewhere there's a star with my name

Pthom
01-12-2007, 11:41 PM
Somewhere there's a star with my name
And she's taken away all my fame!

MidnightMuse
01-12-2007, 11:47 PM
Somewhere there's a star with my name
And she's taken away all my fame!
And the cool paparazzi,

Cath
01-12-2007, 11:49 PM
Somewhere there's a star with my name
And she's taken away all my fame!
And the cool paparazzi,
think she's all artsy fartsy

K1P1
01-13-2007, 12:33 AM
Somewhere there's a star with my name
And she's taken away all my fame!
And the cool paparazzi,
think she's all artsy fartsy
So I'll have to test out my aim.


[somebody else start one - I did too many in a row]

Pthom
01-13-2007, 12:57 AM
Okay.

It wasn't identity theft

K1P1
01-13-2007, 12:59 AM
It wasn't identity theft
But her sneakers were all that was left

PattiTheWicked
01-13-2007, 02:24 AM
It wasn't identity theft
But her sneakers were all that was left
Chuck Taylors, in red

Cath
01-13-2007, 05:39 AM
It wasn't identity theft
But her sneakers were all that was left
Chuck Taylors, in red
trimmed neatly in plaid

Meaney
01-13-2007, 02:51 PM
It wasn't identity theft
But her sneakers were all that was left
Chuck Taylors, in red
trimmed neatly in plaid
of style she was rendered bereft.

My girlfriend's a horrible nag

Unique
01-13-2007, 05:15 PM
My girlfriend's a horrible nag
she's usually half in the bag

PattiTheWicked
01-13-2007, 06:49 PM
My girlfriend's a horrible nag
she's usually half in the bag
The more drunk she gets

giftedrhonda
01-13-2007, 07:32 PM
My girlfriend's a horrible nag
she's usually half in the bag
The more drunk she gets
The more scared the pets

Pthom
01-14-2007, 01:10 AM
My girlfriend's a horrible nag
she's usually half in the bag
The more drunk she gets
The more scared the pets
And her breath's enough to make me gag.

When writing a poem or two

K1P1
01-14-2007, 01:50 AM
When writing a poem or two
The passive one should eschew

PattiTheWicked
01-14-2007, 02:22 AM
When writing a poem or two
The passive one should eschew
But if polysyllabic

K1P1
01-14-2007, 05:34 AM
When writing a poem or two
The passive one should eschew
But if polysyllabic
Words should clog mah ["my"] Bic

Unique
01-14-2007, 06:23 PM
When writing a poem or two
The passive one should eschew
But if polysyllabic
Words should clog mah ["my"] Bic
I'll write with a blood-coated screw.


The wind blew so hard down in France

K1P1
01-14-2007, 09:03 PM
The wind blew so hard down in France
It removed the Prime Minister's pants

Unique
01-15-2007, 01:46 AM
The wind blew so hard down in France
It removed the Prime Minister's pants
they went down to his knees

K1P1
01-15-2007, 01:47 AM
The wind blew so hard down in France
It removed the Prime Minister's pants
they went down to his knees
and the freshening breeze

PattiTheWicked
01-15-2007, 01:59 AM
The wind blew so hard down in France
It removed the Prime Minister's pants
they went down to his knees
and the freshening breeze
Caused him to break into dance

However, he wanted to sing,

Meaney
01-15-2007, 02:56 AM
However, he wanted to sing,
"God Save the Queen or the King"

K1P1
01-15-2007, 05:03 AM
However, he wanted to sing,
"God Save the Queen or the King"
He tripped on his trousers

Meaney
01-15-2007, 05:14 AM
However, he wanted to sing,
"God Save the Queen or the King"
He tripped on his trousers
exciting the wowsers (http://www.bartleby.com/61/36/W0233650.html) 20 (http://www.bartleby.com/185/55.html#note20)

K1P1
01-15-2007, 05:16 AM
However, he wanted to sing,
"God Save the Queen or the King"
He tripped on his trousers
exciting the wowsers
When his buckle hit the ground with a ping.

Oklahoma is covered with ice

Meaney
01-15-2007, 06:48 AM
Oklahoma is covered with ice
so heed well this free word of advice:

Meaney
01-15-2007, 09:21 AM
Welcome aboard, draculeen. The rules of this thread are that each contributor supply one line at a time, and if you finish the limerick then you provide the opening line of the next limerick. Look back through the thread for examples.

The meter of a limerick is:

da DA da da DA da da DA -- 8 (or 9) beats
da DA da da DA da da DA -- 8 (or 9) beats
da DA da da DA -- 5 (or 6) beats
da DA da da DA -- 5 (or 6) beats
da DA da da DA da da DA -- 8 (or 9) beats

So, permit me to alter your third line to fit the meter.


Oklahoma is covered with ice
so heed well this free word of advice:
If in Edmond or Dover,

K1P1
01-15-2007, 03:08 PM
Oklahoma is covered with ice
so heed well this free word of advice:
If in Edmond or Dover,
You'll slip and fall over

[You'll note that lines 3 and 4 are actually 7 syllables, so there's a bit of latitude.]

draculeen
01-15-2007, 09:06 PM
Welcome aboard, draculeen. The rules of this thread are that each contributor supply one line at a time, and if you finish the limerick then you provide the opening line of the next limerick. Look back through the thread for examples.
thanx! I deleted mine since it was not correct. :-)

Kate Thornton
01-15-2007, 11:09 PM
Oklahoma is covered with ice
so heed well this free word of advice:
If in Edmond or Dover,
You'll slip and fall over
On your butt in a Midwestern trice

A finicky eater can choose

Meaney
01-16-2007, 03:40 AM
A finicky eater can choose
but the greedy have weight they can't lose

Unique
01-16-2007, 07:04 PM
A finicky eater can choose
but the greedy have weight they can't lose
if you fry it in lard

K1P1
01-16-2007, 07:07 PM
A finicky eater can choose
but the greedy have weight they can't lose
if you fry it in lard
your figure'll be marred

Cath
01-16-2007, 07:09 PM
A finicky eater can choose
but the greedy have weight they can't lose
if you fry it in lard
your figure'll be marred
and you'll have to wear flat, frumpy shoes.



A young lady truely divine

K1P1
01-16-2007, 07:10 PM
A young lady truely divine
elegantly clad in clothes so fine

PattiTheWicked
01-16-2007, 07:31 PM
A finicky eater can choose
but the greedy have weight they can't lose
if you fry it in lard
your figure'll be marred
And your waistline expanding by twos.

Perhaps, to consider a diet,

K1P1
01-16-2007, 08:58 PM
Perhaps, to consider a diet,
one really ought first off to try it.

JDCrayne
01-17-2007, 03:59 AM
Perhaps, to consider a diet,
one really ought first off to try it.
Those celery sticks,

MidnightMuse
01-17-2007, 04:25 AM
Pperhaps, to consider a diet,
one really ought first off to try it.
Those celery sticks,
Yummy leeches, and ticks.

Unique
01-17-2007, 04:28 AM
Perhaps, to consider a diet,
one really ought first off to try it.
Those celery sticks,
Yummy leeches, and ticks.
Taste better if first you do fry it. :D


The nag was ahead by a nose

K1P1
01-17-2007, 04:46 AM
The nag was ahead by a nose
Her rider fell into a doze

Pthom
01-17-2007, 04:46 AM
The nag was ahead by a nose.
Her rider fell into a doze.
The horse's mane flew

MidnightMuse
01-17-2007, 06:28 AM
The nag was ahead by a nose.
Her rider fell into a doze.
The hrose's mane flew,
That saddle's askew!

Pat~
01-17-2007, 06:37 AM
The nag was ahead by a nose.
Her rider fell into a doze.
The hrose's mane flew,
That saddle's askew!
And her jockey hung on by his toes.

A flea and a fly on a floe

JDCrayne
01-17-2007, 06:39 AM
A flea and a fly on a floe,
Stood eskimo-like, toe to toe.

K1P1
01-17-2007, 08:47 AM
A flea and a fly on a floe,
Stood eskimo-like, toe to toe.
The fleas asked, "Do you?"