I soaked two clean washcloths in gin,
And now let the fun times begin!
I set one cloth on fire
and yelled to the choir,
"And now for our sermon on sin!"
I packed up my suitcase last night
With a ball and a board and a kite
And then I recalled
my pet turtle, who'd crawled
To some hiding place quite out of sight
Stop doing that, please; I might faint
I can't stand the smell of that paint
It was supposed to be blue,
But, because of you,
Folks think I'm a colour I ain't
My dog ate my homework, Ms Brown
He wolfed all twelve pages right down
I'd write it all out again
But the cat has my pen
And the vet -- well, she's going to town.
I once met a film buff from Leeds
Who told me of such naughty deeds
that I stopped the projector
and moved to eject her --
but didn't. A fellow has needs.
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