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dobiwon
08-17-2006, 10:41 PM
He auctioned his wife on Ebay
'Cuz she always had too much to say.
For a buck forty-four

K1P1
08-17-2006, 10:47 PM
He auctioned his wife on Ebay
'Cuz she always had too much to say.
For a buck forty-four
She's right out the door

dobiwon
08-17-2006, 11:12 PM
He auctioned his wife on Ebay
'Cuz she always had too much to say.
For a buck forty-four
She's right out the door
Thanks to FedEx she's now on her way.



To frighten some kids on her block

MidnightMuse
08-17-2006, 11:15 PM
To frighten some kids on her block
Old Maggie would don that pink frock.

dobiwon
08-17-2006, 11:21 PM
To frighten some kids on her block
Old Maggie would don that pink frock.
And dye her hair green

MidnightMuse
08-17-2006, 11:40 PM
To frighten some kids on her block
Old Maggie would don that pink frock
And dye her hair green,
then cause SUCH a scene!

Cath
08-17-2006, 11:48 PM
To frighten some kids on her block
Old Maggie would don that pink frock
And dye her hair green,
then cause SUCH a scene!
With a red, pink and purple stuffed sock.


The washing machine ate my sock

MidnightMuse
08-17-2006, 11:58 PM
The washing machine ate my sock.
Man, this whole thing's such a crock!

Cath
08-17-2006, 11:59 PM
The washing machine ate my sock.
Man, this whole thing's such a crock!
I want my sock back

PattiTheWicked
08-18-2006, 12:52 AM
The washing machine ate my sock.
Man, this whole thing's such a crock!
I want my sock back
But the dryer attacked

Horizon_eyes
08-18-2006, 03:37 AM
The washing machine ate my sock.
Man, this whole thing's such a crock!
I want my sock back
But the dryer attacked
Hey, at least it did not eat my smock.

Godfather
08-18-2006, 03:38 AM
The washing machine ate my sock.
Man, this whole thing's such a crock!
I want my sock back
But the dryer attacked,
so I gave it a cinder block.



One summer day I laughed so hard

K1P1
08-18-2006, 05:07 AM
One summer day I laughed so hard
The ref gave me a yellow card

Horizon_eyes
08-18-2006, 07:39 AM
One summer day I laughed so hard
The ref gave me a yellow card
To head-butt one's chest

poetinahat
08-18-2006, 08:05 AM
One summer day I laughed so hard
The ref gave me a yellow card
To head-butt one's chest
I nearly confessed

Godfather
08-18-2006, 03:40 PM
One summer day I laughed so hard
The ref gave me a yellow card
To head-butt one's chest
I nearly confessed,
then knocked out a security guard.

Oh, a footballers life is tough

Meaney
08-18-2006, 06:33 PM
Permit me, Godfather, to toy with the meter to make it more limericky...

A footballer's life can be tough
I go diving on field and in muff

Horizon_eyes
08-18-2006, 09:45 PM
A footballer's life can be tough
I go diving on field and in muff
A concussion, I have

[I went back to edit, but reverted it because midnight was right behind me with a great follow-up to my original!]

MidnightMuse
08-18-2006, 09:47 PM
A footballer's life can be tough
I go diving on field and in muff
A concussion, I have
Perhaps a good salve,

Horizon_eyes
08-18-2006, 10:06 PM
A footballer's life can be tough
I go diving on field and in muff
A concussion, I have
Perhaps a good salve,
Would help and also cure dandruff.


Your dog has just peed on my shoe.

PattiTheWicked
08-18-2006, 11:16 PM
Your dog has just peed on my shoe.
My heavens, what shall we do?

MidnightMuse
08-18-2006, 11:19 PM
Your dog has just peed on my shoe.
My heavens, what shall we do?
I'm soaked to the socks!

Unique
08-19-2006, 01:28 AM
Your dog has just peed on my shoe.
My heavens, what shall we do?
I'm soaked to the socks!
My car's up on blocks

Tricksie-ish
08-19-2006, 02:08 AM
Your dog has just peed on my shoe.
My heavens, what shall we do?
I'm soaked to the socks!
My car's up on blocks
Thank God he did not let go of his poo.
______________________________
Just who will clean up the mess

Unique
08-19-2006, 02:24 AM
Just who will clean up the mess
I'm gagging, I'll have to confess

Horizon_eyes
08-19-2006, 06:17 AM
Just who will clean up the mess
I'm gagging, I'll have to confess
Things sure went awry

MidnightMuse
08-19-2006, 07:08 AM
Just who will clean up the mess
I'm gagging, I'll have to confess
Things sure went awry,
Like a crazy shrimp fry!

K1P1
08-19-2006, 08:21 AM
Just who will clean up the mess
I'm gagging, I'll have to confess
Things sure went awry,
Like a crazy shrimp fry!
Not me! I've got on my best dress



We went to the Friday night fish fry

K1P1
08-19-2006, 04:14 PM
We went to the Friday night fish fry
Lot's of food, but the keg was bone dry

[c'mon, isn't there someone to limerick with me?]

Unique
08-19-2006, 04:15 PM
We went to the Friday night fish fry
Lot's of food, but the keg was bone dry
We sent out for some more



[off to the salt mines shortly]

K1P1
08-19-2006, 04:17 PM
We went to the Friday night fish fry
Lot's of food, but the keg was bone dry
We sent out for some more
But when we got to the store


[thank you thank you thank you - I was going into limerick withdrawal]

Unique
08-19-2006, 04:37 PM
We went to the Friday night fish fry
Lot's of food, but the keg was bone dry
We sent out for some more
But when we got to the store
Twas locked for the night - did I cry!


It was a frolicking day at the races

K1P1
08-19-2006, 04:41 PM
It was a frolicking day at the races
The horses kicked off all their traces

K1P1
08-20-2006, 12:13 AM
It was a frolicking day at the races
The horses kicked off all their traces
When the last race was done
They sat in the sun

[boy I'll be glad when clock_work9 comes back - it's lonely in limerickland]

Unique
08-20-2006, 02:24 AM
It was a frolicking day at the races
The horses kicked off all their traces
When the last race was done
They sat in the sun
and poked fun at kids wearing braces.


The cats in my town are the best

Rob-rite
08-20-2006, 05:18 AM
The cats in my town are the best
How dare you say they are a pest?

AnnMB
08-20-2006, 05:39 AM
The cats in my town are the best
How dare you say they are a pest?
They pee in a box

K1P1
08-20-2006, 06:00 AM
The cats in my town are the best
How dare you say they are a pest?
They pee in a box
They steal all my socks!

Unique
08-20-2006, 06:02 AM
The cats in my town are the best
How dare you say they are a pest?
They pee in a box
They steal all my socks!
And yet through it all I feel blessed.
:e2tongue:

A certain young dandy from France

K1P1
08-20-2006, 06:13 AM
A certain young dandy from France
Tried to put his date in a trance.
She fretted and screamed

PrettySpecialGal
08-20-2006, 08:00 AM
A certain young dandy from France
Tried to put his date in a trance.
She fretted and screamed
Not so well, though it seemed

K1P1
08-20-2006, 08:25 AM
A certain young dandy from France
Tried to put his date in a trance.
She fretted and screamed
Not so well, though it seemed
She just wanted to go to the dance


Old Oscar he flew through the air

Unique
08-20-2006, 02:34 PM
Old Oscar he flew through the air
His butt cheeks attached to a chair

Meaney
08-20-2006, 06:02 PM
Old Oscar he flew through the air
His butt cheeks attached to a chair
His aerodynamics

PrettySpecialGal
08-20-2006, 06:10 PM
Old Oscar he flew through the air
His butt cheeks attached to a chair
His aerodynamics
Matched with skills in ceramics

K1P1
08-20-2006, 11:44 PM
Old Oscar he flew through the air
His butt cheeks attached to a chair
His aerodynamics
Matched with skills in ceramics
Kept his wheel turning til he landed quite square

One day in the burg of Fenstauntan

PrettySpecialGal
08-21-2006, 03:04 PM
One day in the burg of Fenstauntan
A little girl there, she was tauntin'


(sorry-- my Texan accent may or may not be getting in the way of this rhyme)

K1P1
08-21-2006, 03:49 PM
One day in the burg of Fenstauntan
A little girl there, she was tauntin'
"Nyah, Nyah," she did cry

Horizon_eyes
08-21-2006, 05:28 PM
One day in the burg of Fenstauntan
A little girl there, she was tauntin'
"Nyah, Nyah," she did cry
as the neighbors did sigh

Unique
08-21-2006, 06:14 PM
One day in the burg of Fenstauntan
A little girl there, she was tauntin'
"Nyah, Nyah," she did cry
as the neighbors did sigh
and drowned her lil butt in the fountain.


The pilot swooped in for the kill

Horizon_eyes
08-21-2006, 06:28 PM
The pilot swooped in for the kill
as the enemy crept on the hill

dobiwon
08-21-2006, 06:50 PM
The pilot swooped in for the kill
as the enemy crept on the hill
The plane engine sputtered

Kate Thornton
08-21-2006, 07:00 PM
The pilot swooped in for the kill
as the enemy crept on the hill
The plane engine sputtered
The enemy muttered

K1P1
08-21-2006, 08:04 PM
The pilot swooped in for the kill
as the enemy crept on the hill
The plane engine sputtered
The enemy muttered
"I wanted the pickle to be dill."

My desk is covered with paper

PattiTheWicked
08-21-2006, 08:14 PM
My desk is covered with paper
But my workload is starting to taper

dobiwon
08-21-2006, 09:35 PM
My desk is covered with paper
But my workload is starting to taper
Just one more stiff drink
And I'll probably think

MidnightMuse
08-21-2006, 10:24 PM
My desk is covered with paper
But my workload is starting to taper.
Just one more stiff drink
And I'll probaby think,
I should write a fantasy caper.

I have a dentist appointment today.

dobiwon
08-22-2006, 12:28 AM
I have a dentist appointment today.
I think I'll need Novocaine right away.

Unique
08-22-2006, 12:59 AM
I have a dentist appointment today.
I think I'll need Novocaine right away.
Or maybe some gas

PrettySpecialGal
08-22-2006, 02:04 AM
I have a dentist appointment today.
I think I'll need Novocaine right away.
Or maybe some gas
(not the kind that you pass)

MidnightMuse
08-22-2006, 04:11 AM
I have a dentist appointment today.
I think I'll need Novacaine right away.
Or maybe some gas,
(not the kind that you pass)
Man, this just isn't my day.

My whole upper lip has gone numb.

Cath
08-22-2006, 04:19 AM
My whole upper lip has gone numb.
And it seems now it's spread to my bum

BottomlessCup
08-22-2006, 05:30 AM
My whole upper lip has gone numb,
And it seems now it's spread to my bum.
The whiskey is gone,

PrettySpecialGal
08-22-2006, 06:20 AM
My whole upper lip has gone numb,
And it seems now it's spread to my bum.
The whiskey is gone,
It is right close to dawn,

K1P1
08-22-2006, 06:23 AM
My whole upper lip has gone numb,
And it seems now it's spread to my bum.
The whiskey is gone,
It is right close to dawn,
I'll run down and get me some rum.

I'm devastatingly shy

PrettySpecialGal
08-22-2006, 08:06 AM
I'm devastatingly shy
especially when it comes to the guys

K1P1
08-22-2006, 02:24 PM
I'm devastatingly shy
especially when it comes to the guys
I hide behind trees

Unique
08-22-2006, 02:44 PM
I'm devastatingly shy
especially when it comes to the guys
I hide behind trees
and peek at their knees

poetinahat
08-22-2006, 03:29 PM
I'm devastatingly shy
especially when it comes to the guys
I hide behind trees
and peek at their knees
and wonder how Venus trapped flies

Sinatra, while playing the Sands,

MidnightMuse
08-22-2006, 07:05 PM
Sinatra, while playing the Sands,
Got groped by a guy with big hands!

Horizon_eyes
08-22-2006, 07:54 PM
Sinatra, while playing the Sands,
Got groped by a guy with big hands!
He said, "what the hey!"

K1P1
08-22-2006, 07:57 PM
Sinatra, while playing the Sands,
Got groped by a guy with big hands!
He said, "what the hey!
It's your big day!"

K1P1
08-23-2006, 06:42 AM
Sinatra, while playing the Sands,
Got groped by a guy with big hands!
He said, "what the hey!
It's your big day!"
Let's go check out the big bands.

There once was a tailor from Amherst

K1P1
08-23-2006, 03:02 PM
There once was a tailor from Amherst
Who in fitting and tucking was well versed

PrettySpecialGal
08-23-2006, 03:18 PM
There once was a tailor from Amherst
Who in fitting and tucking was well versed
but demanded a man,

Unique
08-23-2006, 03:34 PM
There once was a tailor from Amherst
Who in fitting and tucking was well versed
but demanded a man,
one in each hand

Godfather
08-23-2006, 06:00 PM
There once was a tailor from Amherst
Who in fitting and tucking was well versed
but demanded a man,
one in each hand
and insisted on driving a hearse.


My computer is so very slow

MidnightMuse
08-23-2006, 06:45 PM
My computer is so very slow.
A vein in my head's gonna blow!

Unique
08-23-2006, 07:09 PM
My computer is so very slow.
A vein in my head's gonna blow!
So hand me a clip

K1P1
08-23-2006, 07:40 PM
My computer is so very slow.
A vein in my head's gonna blow!
So hand me a clip
And I'll wipe out that drip

Unique
08-24-2006, 02:31 AM
My computer is so very slow.
A vein in my head's gonna blow!
So hand me a clip
And I'll wipe out that drip
And pack that ol' vein full of snow.


Young Johnny got lost at the dance

Godfather
08-24-2006, 02:45 AM
Young Johnny got lost at the dance,
and after a while, he lost his pants

MidnightMuse
08-24-2006, 03:26 AM
Young Johnny got lost at the dance,
and after a while, he lost his pants.
'Course no one did notice,

Unique
08-24-2006, 03:28 AM
Young Johnny got lost at the dance,
and after a while, he lost his pants.
'Course no one did notice,
'Cept gimpy leg Otis

MidnightMuse
08-24-2006, 03:30 AM
Young Johnny got lost at the dance,
and after a while, he lost his pants.
'Course no one did notice,
'Cept gimply-leg Otis
Who stared till he fell in a trance !

I need a new green lacey bra,

Cath
08-24-2006, 03:32 AM
Young Johnny got lost at the dance,
and after a while, he lost his pants.
'Course no one did notice,
'Cept gimpy leg Otis
Who made some unusual demands.


Up there in the sky it's bright pink

Unique
08-24-2006, 03:32 AM
I need a new green lacey bra,
to send to a man who says 'caw'



Up there in the sky it's bright pink
But down here it's claim is brown mink

(gad! another two-fer)

BottomlessCup
08-24-2006, 09:04 AM
I need a new green lacey bra,
to send to a man who says 'caw'.
His skivvies are rotten



"Up there in the sky it's bright pink
But down here its claim is brown mink"
is a hard coup' to follow

K1P1
08-24-2006, 03:26 PM
I need a new green lacey bra,
to send to a man who says 'caw'.
His skivvies are rotten
They're made from poor cotton



"Up there in the sky it's bright pink
But down here its claim is brown mink"
is a hard coup' to follow
My stomach feels hollow

Kate Thornton
08-24-2006, 05:43 PM
I need a new green lacey bra,
to send to a man who says 'caw'.
His skivvies are rotten
They're made from poor cotton
He'd rather have silkies to paw

While baking a batch of canolis


"Up there in the sky it's bright pink
But down here its claim is brown mink"
is a hard coup' to follow
My stomach feels hollow
But hunger is making me think


A centenarian witch

(Another two-fer!)

BottomlessCup
08-24-2006, 08:51 PM
While baking a batch of canolis
with jalapenos stuffed in the holeys



A centenarian witch
pulled off a bit of a switch

MidnightMuse
08-24-2006, 08:52 PM
While baking a batch of canolis
with jalapenos stuffed in the holeys
I started to sneeze,



A centenarian witch
pulled off a bit of a switch
While donning a frock,

K1P1
08-24-2006, 08:53 PM
While baking a batch of canolis
with jalapenos stuffed in the holeys
I tripped on my basil



A centenarian witch
pulled off a bit of a switch
She swept with her broom

BottomlessCup
08-24-2006, 09:07 PM
While baking a batch of canolis
with jalapenos stuffed in the holeys
I started to sneeze,
the pastries got squeezed,


A centenarian witch
pulled off a bit of a switch
While donning a frock
the color of chalk



While baking a batch of canolis
with jalapenos stuffed in the holeys,
I tripped on my basil,
The world went all hazel


A centenarian witch
pulled off a bit of a switch
She swept with her broom
instead of going zoom

K1P1
08-24-2006, 10:12 PM
While baking a batch of canolis
with jalapenos stuffed in the holeys
I started to sneeze,
the pastries got squeezed,
So we gave out free to the goalies.


A centenarian witch
pulled off a bit of a switch
While donning a frock
the color of chalk
She passed her time scratching an itch.


While baking a batch of canolis
with jalapenos stuffed in the holeys,
I tripped on my basil,
The world went all hazel
And I screamed out real loud "Holy molies!"

A centenarian witch
pulled off a bit of a switch
She swept with her broom
instead of going zoom
And became an expert at cross stitch.


Let's just consolidate, shall we?

BottomlessCup
08-24-2006, 10:51 PM
Let's just consolidate, shall we?
'Fore this limerick flood hits a wall, see?

Tricksie-ish
08-24-2006, 11:30 PM
Let's just consolidate, shall we?
'Fore this limerick flood hits a wall, see?
Our poetry can blend

MidnightMuse
08-24-2006, 11:57 PM
Let's just consolidate, shall we?
'Fore this limerick flood his a wall, see?
Our poetry can blend,
Our heads, they can mend.

Unique
08-25-2006, 05:18 AM
Let's just consolidate, shall we?
'Fore this limerick flood hits a wall, see?
Our poetry can blend,
Our heads, they can mend.
But not U's cause she's one hundred and three.


So let me step out for a beer

MidnightMuse
08-25-2006, 06:20 AM
So let me step out for a beer
and then I'll let out a big cheer!

K1P1
08-25-2006, 07:13 AM
So let me step out for a beer
and then I'll let out a big cheer!
I'll sing and dance,
take a belligerent stance

BottomlessCup
08-25-2006, 07:44 AM
So let me step out for a beer
and then I'll let out a big cheer!
I'll sing and dance,
take a belligerent stance
and probably pass out, I fear.

If haikus and limericks fought

K1P1
08-25-2006, 07:51 AM
If haikus and limericks fought
It would all be for nought.

Unique
08-26-2006, 02:56 AM
If haikus and limericks fought
(I think) It would all be for nought.
The puns would butt in

Rob-rite
08-26-2006, 04:00 AM
If haikus and limericks fought
(I think) It would all be for nought.
The puns would butt in
Common sense would wear thin

Unique
08-26-2006, 06:04 AM
If haikus and limericks fought
(I think) It would all be for nought.
The puns would butt in
Common sense would wear thin
and yet we won't do as we ought.


When putting it up for the night

MidnightMuse
08-26-2006, 06:41 AM
When putting it up for the night
one resists the strong urge to fight.

K1P1
08-26-2006, 07:02 AM
When putting it up for the night
one resists the strong urge to fight.
Instead one will stroke

BottomlessCup
08-26-2006, 07:09 AM
When putting it up for the night
one resists the strong urge to fight.
Instead one will stroke
and forgo the poke

K1P1
08-26-2006, 07:14 AM
When putting it up for the night
one resists the strong urge to fight.
Instead one will stroke
and forgo the poke
And then pray the thing stays out of sight.

The once was a cat from Gibralter

Unique
08-26-2006, 07:17 AM
The once was a cat from Gibralter
who wouldn't wear his ill-fitting halter

K1P1
08-26-2006, 07:21 AM
The once was a cat from Gibralter
who wouldn't wear his ill-fitting halter
He flopped on the groun'
And said with a frown

Unique
08-26-2006, 05:03 PM
The once was a cat from Gibralter
who wouldn't wear his ill-fitting halter
He flopped on the groun'
And said with a frown
"Just wait 'til I get out of this, Walter!'


The chickens, the pigs, and the goats,

Pat~
08-26-2006, 10:20 PM
The chickens, the pigs, and the goats,
Had a race one day in their boats;

PattiTheWicked
08-26-2006, 10:36 PM
The chickens, the pigs, and the goats,
Had a race one day in their boats;
They arrived on the shore

Horizon_eyes
08-26-2006, 11:17 PM
The chickens, the pigs, and the goats,
Had a race one day in their boats;
They arrived on the shore
And argued the score

Godfather
08-27-2006, 03:16 AM
The chickens, the pigs, and the goats,
Had a race one day in their boats;
They arrived on the shore
And argued the score
while away the trophy did float.

there once was a pretty girl from clare

BottomlessCup
08-27-2006, 03:19 AM
There once was a pretty girl from clare,
who was tragically lacking in hair

Unique
08-27-2006, 04:53 PM
There once was a pretty girl from clare,
who was tragically lacking in hair
she was bald as an egg

Tricksie-ish
08-27-2006, 11:47 PM
There once was a pretty girl from clare,
who was tragically lacking in hair
she was bald as an egg
Just two hairs on her leg

Unique
08-27-2006, 11:56 PM
There once was a pretty girl from clare,
who was tragically lacking in hair
she was bald as an egg
Just two hairs on her leg
but she was sexy so we didn't care.


At the plant we finish at three

Horizon_eyes
08-28-2006, 01:48 AM
At the plant we finish at three
We work in pajamas, you see

Cath
08-28-2006, 01:52 AM
At the plant we finish at three
We work in pajamas, you see
They're all green and blue

Godfather
08-28-2006, 03:18 AM
At the plant we finish at three
We work in pajamas, you see
They're all green and blue
and covered in goo

MidnightMuse
08-28-2006, 03:50 AM
At the plant we finish at three
we work in pajamas, you see
There all green and blue
and covered in goo,
And there's a hole in this here one, see?

I got all hot and sweaty today.

Serena Casey
08-28-2006, 03:57 AM
I got all hot and sweaty today.
Began to unsteadily sway

K1P1
08-28-2006, 07:04 AM
I got all hot and sweaty today.
Began to unsteadily sway
Thank goodness my daughter
Brought me some water

Serena Casey
08-28-2006, 08:46 AM
I got all hot and sweaty today.
Began to unsteadily sway
Thank goodness my daughter
Brought me some water
Too bad she forced me to pay.

Horizon_eyes
08-28-2006, 09:24 AM
I once met a hedgehog named Fred

Godfather
08-28-2006, 01:09 PM
I once met a hedgehog named Fred
who wouldn't get out of my bed

PrettySpecialGal
08-28-2006, 03:06 PM
I once met a hedgehog named Fred
who wouldn't get out of my bed
I couldn't protest

Cath
08-28-2006, 03:16 PM
I once met a hedgehog named Fred
who wouldn't get out of my bed
I couldn't protest
'tho I needed some rest

MidnightMuse
08-28-2006, 07:50 PM
I once met a hedgehog named Fred
who wouldn't get out of my bed
I couldn't protest
'tho I needed some rest
It's my fault we'd decided to wed.

My new computer is frustrating me.

K1P1
08-28-2006, 07:56 PM
My new computer is frustrating me.
I need to turn off all that cr*p don't you see?
Microsoft is a menace

Serena Casey
08-28-2006, 08:09 PM
Worse than little Dennis

K1P1
08-28-2006, 10:03 PM
My new computer is frustrating me.
I need to turn off all that cr*p don't you see?
Microsoft is a menace
Worse than little Dennis.
Got to rid myself of McAfee!

My keyboard is causing me fits

Cath
08-28-2006, 10:06 PM
My keyboard is causing me fits
I've taken the darned thing to bits

MidnightMuse
08-28-2006, 10:07 PM
My keyboard is causing me fits
I've taken the darned thing to bits.
The F key keeps jammin'

K1P1
08-28-2006, 10:20 PM
My keyboard is causing me fits
I've taken the darned thing to bits.
The F key keeps jammin'
No delete for the spammin'

Cath
08-28-2006, 10:24 PM
My keyboard is causing me fits
I've taken the darned thing to bits.
The F key keeps jammin'
No delete for the spammin'
And the tech support guys are just g*ts.


Computers are all fine and dandy

MidnightMuse
08-28-2006, 10:25 PM
Computers are all find and dandy
I've got one here I named Randy

Serena Casey
08-28-2006, 11:28 PM
Computers are all fine and dandy
I've got one here I named Randy
But when they make trouble

MidnightMuse
08-28-2006, 11:29 PM
Computers are all fine and dandy
I've got one here I named Randy
But when they make trouble
My frustration, it doubles!

BottomlessCup
08-29-2006, 05:11 AM
Computers are all fine and dandy
I've got one here I named Randy
But when they make trouble
My frustration, it doubles!
And a hammer comes in quite handy.


I'm trying to make it to Friday

Serena Casey
08-29-2006, 06:09 AM
I'm trying to make it to Friday
Of all the weekdays, that's my day

K1P1
08-29-2006, 07:17 AM
I'm trying to make it to Friday
Of all the weekdays, that's my day
When I hit mid-week
My bones start to creak

K1P1
08-29-2006, 04:16 PM
I'm trying to make it to Friday
Of all the weekdays, that's my day
When I hit mid-week
My bones start to creak
Until I realize it's blueberry pie day.

There once was a girl with an ostrich

Serena Casey
08-29-2006, 05:34 PM
There once was a girl with an ostrich
She stapled its beak with a Bostitch

Kate Thornton
08-29-2006, 05:54 PM
There once was a girl with an ostrich
She stapled its beak with a Bostitch
In a wild fit of pique

K1P1
08-29-2006, 08:53 PM
There once was a girl with an ostrich
She stapled its beak with a Bostitch
In a wild fit of pique
She dammed up the creek

MidnightMuse
08-29-2006, 09:25 PM
There once was a girl with an ostrich
She stapled its beak with a Bostich
In a wild fit of pique
She dammed up the creek
Which totally flooded Pt Fosdick

Stuck in my molar is a Dorito.

Tricksie-ish
08-29-2006, 09:53 PM
Stuck in my molar is a Dorito
I think I would prefer a Frito

Serena Casey
08-29-2006, 10:31 PM
Stuck in my molar is a Dorito
I think I would prefer a Frito
It's lodged so deep

K1P1
08-30-2006, 12:46 AM
Stuck in my molar is a Dorito
I think I would prefer a Frito
It's lodged so deep
I'll take a great leap

MidnightMuse
08-30-2006, 12:54 AM
Stuck in my molar is a Dorito
I think I would prefer a Frito
It's lodged so deep
I'll take a great leap
And crack open my head, oh Neato!

I'm typing and I can't shut up!

Cath
08-30-2006, 01:31 AM
I'm typing and I can't shut up.
The words are just nonsense and cr*p

Godfather
08-30-2006, 01:37 AM
I wrote a limerick but I'm not sure where to post it, so I might as well post here!

these scumbags drive around and they fight,
they drive around looking for a ride
but when they lock those doors,
all they got are whores
and the real girls are walkin' outside.


now, back to the game!

I'm typing and I can't shut up.
The words are just nonsense and cr*p
I'm singing a song,
and carrying on

Serena Casey
08-30-2006, 06:36 AM
I'm typing and I can't shut up.
The words are just nonsense and cr*p
I'm singing a song,
and carrying on
They should make me pee in a cup.

A maple, a pine, and an oak

K1P1
08-30-2006, 07:29 AM
A maple, a pine, and an oak
Went outside to smoke

K1P1
08-30-2006, 03:28 PM
A maple, a pine, and an oak
Went outside to smoke.
They hid in the grass

K1P1
08-30-2006, 09:22 PM
A maple, a pine, and an oak
Went outside to smoke.
They hid in the grass
Wishing time to pass


[Jeez, I guess this is a do-it-your-selfer]

Godfather
08-30-2006, 10:03 PM
A maple, a pine, and an oak
Went outside to smoke.
They hid in the grass
Wishing time to pass
til one of them told a joke

everybody look at that ugly dog

threedogpeople
08-31-2006, 12:09 AM
Everybody look at that ugly dog,
is it his face or is it a frog?

Serena Casey
08-31-2006, 12:17 AM
Everybody look at that ugly dog,
is it his face or is it a frog?
It's so hard to tell

threedogpeople
08-31-2006, 12:38 AM
Everybody look at that ugly dog,
is it his face or is it a frog?
It's so hard to tell
(and it's starting to smell)

MidnightMuse
08-31-2006, 12:45 AM
Everybody look at that ugly dog,
is it his face or is it a frog?
It's so hard to tell
(and it's starting to smell)
Like some filthy, hot, greenish, old bog.

I just saddled up my new Ostrich,

K1P1
08-31-2006, 02:53 AM
Everybody look at that ugly dog,
is it his face or is it a frog?
It's so hard to tell
(and it's starting to smell)
Like some filthy, hot, greenish, old bog.

http://www.maggiesrags.com/pics/dogglasses.jpg

I just saddled up my new Ostrich,
In the wake of my poor pitcher's lost pitch

civilian chic
08-31-2006, 04:14 AM
I just saddled up my new Ostrich,
In the wake of my poor pitcher's lost pitch.
There was a hole in his glove

Cath
08-31-2006, 04:19 AM
I just saddled up my new Ostrich,
In the wake of my poor pitcher's lost pitch.
There was a hole in his glove
The ball came from above

K1P1
08-31-2006, 04:24 AM
I just saddled up my new Ostrich,
In the wake of my poor pitcher's lost pitch.
There was a hole in his glove
The ball came from above
And the umpire cursed that his boss itched!

My computer's a bit complicated.

Cath
08-31-2006, 04:25 AM
My computer's a bit complicated.
Its hunger for RAM is unsated

civilian chic
08-31-2006, 04:26 AM
I just saddled up my new Ostrich
In the wake of my poor pitcher's lost pitch.
There was a hole in his glove
The ball came from above
And the ball's hitting the bird was a small glitch.

civilian chic
08-31-2006, 04:27 AM
(oops... thinking for a minute too long!)

Cath
08-31-2006, 04:30 AM
LOL - no problem. Have a go at another line for the current one as well! :)

BottomlessCup
08-31-2006, 08:37 AM
My computer's a bit complicated.
Its hunger for RAM is unsated
it's got seven screens

Horizon_eyes
08-31-2006, 09:34 AM
My computer's a bit complicated.
Its hunger for RAM is unsated
it's got seven screens
a new virus, it seems

MidnightMuse
08-31-2006, 08:01 PM
My computer's a bit complicated.
Its hunger for RAM is unsated
it's got seven screens
a new virus, it seems
And Bill Gates is now very hated.

I'm hungry for donuts and such.

K1P1
08-31-2006, 08:44 PM
I'm hungry for donuts and such.
I really don't ask very much.
Just danish and scones

PattiTheWicked
08-31-2006, 08:58 PM
I'm hungry for donuts and such.
I really don't ask very much.
Just danish and scones
While I yap on the phone

Serena Casey
09-01-2006, 07:12 AM
I'm hungry for donuts and such.
I really don't ask very much.
Just danish and scones
While I yap on the phone
And a piece of apple pie, dutch.

I'm up past my bedtime again

K1P1
09-01-2006, 01:41 PM
I'm up past my bedtime again
This forum hijacks my pen

BottomlessCup
09-01-2006, 09:10 PM
I'm up past my bedtime again.
This forum hijacks my pen.
Dawn, she's a comin'

MidnightMuse
09-01-2006, 09:18 PM
I'm up past my bedtim again.
This forum hijacks my pen.
Dawn, she's a comin'
That rooster's already hummin'.

K1P1
09-02-2006, 02:42 AM
I'm up past my bedtime again.
This forum hijacks my pen.
Dawn, she's a comin'
That rooster's already hummin'.
And we're stuck with the rain once again

The harridan flies through the night

threedogpeople
09-02-2006, 03:28 AM
The harridan flies through the night
a frightening but interesting sight.

K1P1
09-02-2006, 03:30 AM
The harridan flies through the night
a frightening but interesting sight.
Her eyes are sheathed

Unique
09-02-2006, 04:26 AM
The harridan flies through the night
a frightening but interesting sight.
Her eyes are sheathed
Her claws bequeathed

civilian chic
09-02-2006, 05:48 AM
The harridan flies through the night
A frightening but interesting sight;
Her eyes are sheathed
Her claws are bequeathed
So she hangs on to her GPS system real tight.

civilian chic
09-02-2006, 05:52 AM
My daughter's out hunting for quail

Horizon_eyes
09-02-2006, 07:45 AM
My daughter's out hunting for quail
With Cheney, who said he'd prevail

K1P1
09-02-2006, 01:36 PM
My daughter's out hunting for quail
With Cheney, who said he'd prevail
He stuck in his thumb
But he pulled out a gun

civilian chic
09-02-2006, 08:51 PM
My daughter's out hunting for quail
With Cheney, who said he'd prevail
He stuck in his thumb
But he pulled out a gun
And said, "I hear Walmart's having a sale."

K1P1
09-02-2006, 09:35 PM
Hi CC, do you want to give us a first line for the next limerick?

K1P1
09-03-2006, 04:00 PM
Guess not - so I'll jump in:

At the thrift store the junk piles up

PattiTheWicked
09-03-2006, 05:25 PM
At the thrift store the junk piles up
Ugly paintings and grubby old cups

K1P1
09-03-2006, 06:01 PM
At the thrift store the junk piles up
Ugly paintings and grubby old cups
Smudged vases with doves
And long single gloves

K1P1
09-05-2006, 04:32 AM
At the thrift store the junk piles up
Ugly paintings and grubby old cups
Smudged vases with doves
And long single gloves
And a spaniel with 12 litle pups!

I missing a whole bunch of poets

clockwork
09-05-2006, 04:41 AM
I missing a whole bunch of poets
Maggie, please, don't you know it's

K1P1
09-05-2006, 05:13 AM
I missing a whole bunch of poets
Maggie, please, don't you know it's
Getting real late
I've lots on my plate

clockwork
09-05-2006, 05:22 AM
I missing a whole bunch of poets
Maggie, please, don't you know it's
Getting real late
I've lots on my plate
That'll teach you to try and rhyme 'poets.'

I've murdered a hooker again

K1P1
09-05-2006, 05:25 AM
I've murdered a hooker again
It always leaves such a bad stain


[poets was an unintentional challenge]

clockwork
09-05-2006, 05:30 AM
I've murdered a hooker again
It always leaves such a bad stain
So it's out with the grinder

Cath
09-05-2006, 05:31 AM
I've murdered a hooker again
It always leaves such a bad stain
so it's out with the grinder
I'll use egg as a binder

K1P1
09-05-2006, 05:32 AM
I've murdered a hooker again
It always leaves such a bad stain
so it's out with the grinder
using egg as a binder
Those meat pies have been much too plain!

I aways take mustard with meat

Cath
09-05-2006, 05:33 AM
I always take mustard with meat
I like my food with lots of heat

K1P1
09-05-2006, 05:39 AM
I always take mustard with meat
I like my food with lots of heat
Paprika and curry

Horizon_eyes
09-05-2006, 05:46 AM
I always take mustard with meat
I like my food with lots of heat
Paprika and curry
my vision's all blurry

K1P1
09-05-2006, 05:47 AM
I always take mustard with meat
I like my food with lots of heat
Paprika and curry
my vision's all blurry
It's all been one h*ll of a treat!

I hop, skip and jump to the bank

Horizon_eyes
09-05-2006, 06:33 AM
I hop, skip and jump to the bank
I'll give those tellers a spank

K1P1
09-05-2006, 06:35 AM
I hop, skip and jump to the bank
I'll give those tellers a spank
they'll call the cops

threedogpeople
09-05-2006, 08:49 PM
I hop, skip and jump to the bank
I'll give those tellers a spank
they'll call the cops,
(two tickets, tops!)

Serena Casey
09-05-2006, 10:03 PM
I hop, skip and jump to the bank
I'll give those tellers a spank
they'll call the cops,
(two tickets, tops!)
And I'll think up a new prank.

I've been working on this query,

MidnightMuse
09-05-2006, 10:42 PM
I've been working on this query,
and I'm getting a bit weary.

PattiTheWicked
09-05-2006, 10:45 PM
I've been working on this query,
and I'm getting a bit weary.
I'll write to Miss Snark,

Cath
09-05-2006, 10:47 PM
I've been working on this query,
and I'm getting a bit weary.
I'll write to Miss Snark,
Oh, just for a lark

MidnightMuse
09-05-2006, 10:51 PM
I've been working on this query,
and I'm getting a bit weary.
I'll write to Miss Snark,
Oh, just for a lark,
And she'll say "What a dork, your poor deary."


Someone licked my back today.

threedogpeople
09-06-2006, 12:21 AM
Someone licked my back today
Who it was, I can not say,

K1P1
09-06-2006, 12:24 AM
Someone licked my back today
Who it was, I can not say,
but I found it enticing
like cake with great icing

civilian chic
09-06-2006, 12:38 AM
Someone licked my back today,
Who it was I can not say,
but I found it enticing,
like a cake with great icing,
Plus, my mole has gone away.

(K1P1, I'm a newbie; how do you respond to those "rep points" comments? Hi, btw :) )

My office walls are yellow-ish

Unique
09-06-2006, 01:04 AM
My office walls are yellow-ish
because my roomie fries fish

MidnightMuse
09-06-2006, 01:05 AM
My office walls are yellow-ish
because my roomie fries fish.
He went out for a salmon,

Kate Thornton
09-06-2006, 01:07 AM
My office walls are yellow-ish
because my roomie fries fish.
He went out for a salmon,
While I was a-spammin'

K1P1
09-06-2006, 01:09 AM
My office walls are yellow-ish
because my roomie fries fish.
He went out for a salmon,
While I was a-spammin'
Turns out he's got a fish fetish.

When I was a gay young lass

Unique
09-06-2006, 01:11 AM
When I was a gay young lass
I decided to tatoo my *ss

Kate Thornton
09-06-2006, 01:13 AM
When I was a gay young lass
I decided to tatoo my *ss
with a classical photo

Unique
09-06-2006, 01:14 AM
When I was a gay young lass
I decided to tatoo my *ss
with a classical photo
black and white Quasimoto

K1P1
09-06-2006, 01:22 AM
When I was a gay young lass
I decided to tatoo my *ss
with a classical photo
black and white Quasimoto
But some people think that it's crass!

My espresso machine's on the blink

civilian chic
09-07-2006, 12:57 AM
My espresso machine's on the blink
So I made my coffee in the sink

Horizon_eyes
09-07-2006, 01:01 AM
My espresso machine's on the blink
So I made my coffee in the sink
Frothy soap bubbles

K1P1
09-07-2006, 01:42 AM
My espresso machine's on the blink
So I made my coffee in the sink
Frothy soap bubbles
Steamed milk has troubles!

MidnightMuse
09-07-2006, 01:44 AM
My espresso machine's on the blink
So I made my coffee in the sink
Frothy soap bubbles
Steamed milk has troubles!
Is this stuff supposed to be pink?


My foot fell asleep just right now

Cath
09-07-2006, 01:48 AM
My foot fell asleep just right now
And all I can wonder is how

K1P1
09-07-2006, 01:56 AM
My foot fell asleep just right now
And all I can wonder is how
I'm doing my shimmies
From my hips to my chinnie

MidnightMuse
09-07-2006, 02:05 AM
My foot fell asleep just right now
And all Ic an wonder is how
I'm doing my shimmies
From my hips to my chinnie
Oh Gawd, I look like a cow !


There's taffy stuck on my shoe.

K1P1
09-07-2006, 02:48 AM
There's taffy stuck on my shoe.
I'm just lucky it isn't dog poo.

Unique
09-07-2006, 02:54 AM
There's taffy stuck on my shoe.
I'm just lucky it isn't dog poo.
It's stretchy and pink

K1P1
09-07-2006, 03:05 AM
There's taffy stuck on my shoe.
I'm just lucky it isn't dog poo.
It's stretchy and pink
And it doesn't stink

Unique
09-07-2006, 03:07 AM
There's taffy stuck on my shoe.
I'm just lucky it isn't dog poo.
It's stretchy and pink
And it doesn't stink
I wonder if it's still good to chew?

The fishies are all at the lake

K1P1
09-07-2006, 03:10 AM
The fishies are all at the lake
Contemplating a summer fish bake

Unique
09-07-2006, 03:14 AM
The fishies are all at the lake
Contemplating a summer fish bake
They don't want to be done

K1P1
09-07-2006, 03:16 AM
The fishies are all at the lake
Contemplating a summer fish bake
They don't want to be done
Rathered roast in the sun

Unique
09-07-2006, 03:19 AM
The fishies are all at the lake
Contemplating a summer fish bake
They don't want to be done
Rathered roast in the sun
So they chipped in for take-out of snake.

What happened to all of the peeps?

K1P1
09-07-2006, 03:27 AM
What happened to all of the peeps?
Those yellow marshmallowey creeps.

PattiTheWicked
09-07-2006, 05:12 AM
What happened to all of the peeps?
Those yellow marshmallowey creeps.
So squishy and soft

K1P1
09-07-2006, 06:24 AM
What happened to all of the peeps?
Those yellow marshmallowey creeps.
So squishy and soft
Hold toothpicks aloft
In microwave dueling for keeps.

And if this doesn't makes sense watch the peeps jousting video and find complete instructions here:
http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.thegreenhead.com/watercooler/images/peepe_maker_4.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.thegreenhead.com/watercooler/2005/03/marshmallow-peeps-marshmallow-maker.php&h=260&w=350&sz=16&hl=en&start=8&tbnid=G07BSLJgvl3VOM:&tbnh=89&tbnw=120&prev=/images%3Fq%3Djousting%2Bpeeps%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3D en%26lr%3D%26sa%3DG



A cuckoo bird once laid an egg

BottomlessCup
09-07-2006, 06:39 AM
A cuckoo bird once laid an egg.
I added brandy, milk, nutmeg.

K1P1
09-07-2006, 06:40 AM
A cuckoo bird once laid an egg.
I added brandy, milk, nutmeg.
Some sugar and 'nilla

Serena Casey
09-07-2006, 06:54 AM
A cuckoo bird once laid an egg.
I added brandy, milk, nutmeg.
Some sugar and 'nilla
I got from the villa

K1P1
09-07-2006, 06:56 AM
A cuckoo bird once laid an egg.
I added brandy, milk, nutmeg.
Some sugar and 'nilla
I got from the villa
Voila--Eggnog! Please have a peg.

I can't get my kid to eat spinach

Serena Casey
09-07-2006, 07:05 AM
I can't get my kid to eat spinach
He says it makes his skin itch