Life is a series of humiliations, embarrassments. However you want to phrase it. What makes is bearable is that somewhere down the line we “get the punch line” of the joke and suddenly the past makes just a little more sense.
This is the feeling I have expected the gods to reward me with for ages. One day I would be writing, unable to form the right words, and the next I would be blasting at full speed transforming hundreds of unsightly blanks into illustrious gems of word play. The best part would be getting the “punch line” of all my struggles with writing. It’d be funny that writing used to fill me with a sense of hopelessness.
I think if you’ve read this far you have decided that I’ll probably never turn out to be of much worth as a writer given that I have no talent for clumping words together into the magical sentences that form the pages that form the novels that I will never write because I also have absolutely no motivation. That’s the interesting part. I do have motivation. There is this tiny voice inside me that is constantly bugging me to tell my story. I need to write it. If not because of any professional aspirations, then to allow myself to get past an event and time in my life that remains in my consciousness like a scar. And a scar really shouldn’t be relevant, should it? Sure it hurt when it occurred. You walked into the bed because you were too preoccupied with the rest of the world. Or maybe so not preoccupied with anything that the merest attention to detail would have shattered your self imposed bubble. Regardless, you walk into the bed and it hurts like a motherf*cker and you probably screamed when it happened. Some obscenity or other. No one hears you and so you are left with the soul evidence of your run in. A scar and perhaps the bruise that forms around it in the initial aftermath of the incident (read one or two weeks.) Without any outside help from miracle lotions, the bruise will disappear. The larger, more looming component of a mess always seems to fade away. The world at rest is one of void, so follows that tension is always the song of intermission and never the main act. The plot, the climax, the meaty bits, all that tension will go away soon enough just like your bruise. What’s left is the scar. The memory. Even when you think it’s gone, it’s still there (unless you buy one of those really expensive lotions online.) I think the scar is the hardest part to deal with, you’ll probably resort to covering it up, but we all know you shouldn’t. Doesn’t let the skin breathe. Doesn’t let you breathe. Some people take to glamorizing their scars, if the shape is gruesome or unique it’s the equivalent of a tattoo –- all the bad-*** romance with the I implied narcissism associated with carving angels and demons onto bare flesh.
All I know is that I need to find some way to deal with my scars and writing seems like the most suitable solution. I’ve written a few chapters of the book that I wish to write. it is fiction and loosely based on my own experiences. What I would really like is a few fellow travelers/mentors to help me chose the right path in writing.
As of now (with about 70 word processor pages under my belt) I have a number of problems:
1) Narrator – There are some parts of the story that are third person and some that are first person. Conventional wisdom (if it had a face) would frown on this, but I really feel it is important for the reader to move through the story with both the delusional grandeur of the main character’s point of view in mind and the narrators somewhat impartial blabbering. I know some of the masters have captured this format radiantly, but I feel as a beginning writer people will just look at me as a person who can’t form two coherent thoughts in a row
2) Genre – 70 pages done and unsure of the genre? Basically the story is a love story at the heart of it, with a few sprinkles of identity crisis stuff to go along. I also ramble a lot (something that I will most likely remove), this is meant to make my word “literary.” Ha. Already see how I just NEED your help? Anyways at this point my story can easily go one of three ways
1) romance – pure heartwarming romance, only women would like this and I frankly would probably not want to read this type of book myself, the only plus is that this is the direction of much of my writing and I think may be the easiest way to pry words out of my head
2) chick lit – this **** sells and people my age seem to enjoy it, also it is very easy to write in this style; however I feel that there really is an element to my story that is deeper than most books in this genre and it would be lost if I get to chick litty
3) literary – by literary I don’t mean literary in the conventional sense, but more literary in the Contemporary sense. Ugh, that makes no sense. But then isn’t that what this genre does. Or doesn’t do. No sense I tell you. Nonsense. Here’s the gist, this book involves drug use (but not so much to leave the reader with a bad come down), a relationship that would be shocking to most people, young person of this generations reflections
I’d love to go with 3, but I don’t know if I can focus it this way.
3) Structure – here goes more head shaking. I know what you’re thinking. here is comes, this story goes from bad to worse. At this moment my story is as straight as Michael Jackson. And I like it that way. I feel if it works it would be very interesting for the reader to see the story as it happened before me. To see what moments I looked to first, and what memories I analyzed later. This is only enhanced by the change in viewpoints. BUT I understand that most people don’t want to deal with trying to “get” the book, much less swim through the added sea of confusion that is my inconsistent narration. So question. Can it be done? Will people want to read it (not necessarily you, but some people…)? Am I talented (or could I someday be) enough to pull it off?
Anyhow thank you very much for reading this. If anyone who has similar struggles in the early stages of their career would like to help me out (in ANY way, either by yaying or neighing certain plot points/genre decisions; up to as much as reading passage and telling me what works) I would greatly appreciate it. In return the only thing I may be able to offer you is my opinion of your own writing (I’m a young woman – key demographic and know what people my age love); otherwise you may just help me out of the kindness of your heart. Any takers?
This is the feeling I have expected the gods to reward me with for ages. One day I would be writing, unable to form the right words, and the next I would be blasting at full speed transforming hundreds of unsightly blanks into illustrious gems of word play. The best part would be getting the “punch line” of all my struggles with writing. It’d be funny that writing used to fill me with a sense of hopelessness.
I think if you’ve read this far you have decided that I’ll probably never turn out to be of much worth as a writer given that I have no talent for clumping words together into the magical sentences that form the pages that form the novels that I will never write because I also have absolutely no motivation. That’s the interesting part. I do have motivation. There is this tiny voice inside me that is constantly bugging me to tell my story. I need to write it. If not because of any professional aspirations, then to allow myself to get past an event and time in my life that remains in my consciousness like a scar. And a scar really shouldn’t be relevant, should it? Sure it hurt when it occurred. You walked into the bed because you were too preoccupied with the rest of the world. Or maybe so not preoccupied with anything that the merest attention to detail would have shattered your self imposed bubble. Regardless, you walk into the bed and it hurts like a motherf*cker and you probably screamed when it happened. Some obscenity or other. No one hears you and so you are left with the soul evidence of your run in. A scar and perhaps the bruise that forms around it in the initial aftermath of the incident (read one or two weeks.) Without any outside help from miracle lotions, the bruise will disappear. The larger, more looming component of a mess always seems to fade away. The world at rest is one of void, so follows that tension is always the song of intermission and never the main act. The plot, the climax, the meaty bits, all that tension will go away soon enough just like your bruise. What’s left is the scar. The memory. Even when you think it’s gone, it’s still there (unless you buy one of those really expensive lotions online.) I think the scar is the hardest part to deal with, you’ll probably resort to covering it up, but we all know you shouldn’t. Doesn’t let the skin breathe. Doesn’t let you breathe. Some people take to glamorizing their scars, if the shape is gruesome or unique it’s the equivalent of a tattoo –- all the bad-*** romance with the I implied narcissism associated with carving angels and demons onto bare flesh.
All I know is that I need to find some way to deal with my scars and writing seems like the most suitable solution. I’ve written a few chapters of the book that I wish to write. it is fiction and loosely based on my own experiences. What I would really like is a few fellow travelers/mentors to help me chose the right path in writing.
As of now (with about 70 word processor pages under my belt) I have a number of problems:
1) Narrator – There are some parts of the story that are third person and some that are first person. Conventional wisdom (if it had a face) would frown on this, but I really feel it is important for the reader to move through the story with both the delusional grandeur of the main character’s point of view in mind and the narrators somewhat impartial blabbering. I know some of the masters have captured this format radiantly, but I feel as a beginning writer people will just look at me as a person who can’t form two coherent thoughts in a row
2) Genre – 70 pages done and unsure of the genre? Basically the story is a love story at the heart of it, with a few sprinkles of identity crisis stuff to go along. I also ramble a lot (something that I will most likely remove), this is meant to make my word “literary.” Ha. Already see how I just NEED your help? Anyways at this point my story can easily go one of three ways
1) romance – pure heartwarming romance, only women would like this and I frankly would probably not want to read this type of book myself, the only plus is that this is the direction of much of my writing and I think may be the easiest way to pry words out of my head
2) chick lit – this **** sells and people my age seem to enjoy it, also it is very easy to write in this style; however I feel that there really is an element to my story that is deeper than most books in this genre and it would be lost if I get to chick litty
3) literary – by literary I don’t mean literary in the conventional sense, but more literary in the Contemporary sense. Ugh, that makes no sense. But then isn’t that what this genre does. Or doesn’t do. No sense I tell you. Nonsense. Here’s the gist, this book involves drug use (but not so much to leave the reader with a bad come down), a relationship that would be shocking to most people, young person of this generations reflections
I’d love to go with 3, but I don’t know if I can focus it this way.
3) Structure – here goes more head shaking. I know what you’re thinking. here is comes, this story goes from bad to worse. At this moment my story is as straight as Michael Jackson. And I like it that way. I feel if it works it would be very interesting for the reader to see the story as it happened before me. To see what moments I looked to first, and what memories I analyzed later. This is only enhanced by the change in viewpoints. BUT I understand that most people don’t want to deal with trying to “get” the book, much less swim through the added sea of confusion that is my inconsistent narration. So question. Can it be done? Will people want to read it (not necessarily you, but some people…)? Am I talented (or could I someday be) enough to pull it off?
Anyhow thank you very much for reading this. If anyone who has similar struggles in the early stages of their career would like to help me out (in ANY way, either by yaying or neighing certain plot points/genre decisions; up to as much as reading passage and telling me what works) I would greatly appreciate it. In return the only thing I may be able to offer you is my opinion of your own writing (I’m a young woman – key demographic and know what people my age love); otherwise you may just help me out of the kindness of your heart. Any takers?
