Don't go askin me if i'm working, k?

DreamWorks

DreamWorks

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Ok I don't really know what hip hop means so I probably won't be accurate in describing the exact genre of this song but here goes. Think black think rap with a bit of r'n'b byoncee style where the *asterisk is. Thoughts?

Don’t go askin me if I’m working, k?
Cause u ain’t never gonna catch me sayin
“what u do with your day?”
I live and let live
Yes I take but I give
I just dishin it out – in my own, special way

The first thing in the morning is – I meditate
Gets me so high I’m feeling I could levitate
Then I look in the sky I say God you’re my guy
Thank you for this gift you gave me that is MY FATE

*I live and I’ll die and you may wonder why
But I know life’s a show and I follow my fate

Don’t go askin around what I’m doin k?
cause my time aint the kind that I’ll be wastin away
I have art that’s a start and a step up from you
And you better face the music cause its hapennin, too.

*I give and I try and you may wonder why
But I know life’s a show and I follow my fate

Now I am your son I guess that makes you my mother
But many lifetimes ago now what if you were my brother
see we all playin parts and its funny you care
If I’m rakin it in when you ain’t working nowhere

*I live and let live and I take but I give
So let go let me know that you trust me and wait

I ain’t bringin up kids
Or neither raising no bids
I ain’t married or carried or closing the lid
On my life see I’m free and I know that it hurts
With that fa..mi..ly you’ve got bills to pay
And you’re strapped and entrapped
You like a moth in a web
You so glued you’re unclued but see you wigglin away?
And you takin it out on the free man today

So Don’t go askin around if I’m working, k?
Cause u ain’t never gonna catch me sayin
“what u do with your day?”
I live and let live
Yes I take but I give
I just dishin it out – in my own, special way

 

Susie

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Hi, DW, I usually don't like rap, but the words to your song are really good and well-done. I can picture a rapper singin' it. Thanks much for sharing it.
 

cree

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Hi -- honestly, here's my take, and this may be a regional thing. I live in the northeast US. Typically God and Rap aren't merged unless you're trying to appeal to parents who buy Worship Jamming kid videos. Right or wrong, it just hasn't met a widespread appeal outside Christian tent revivals for teens. If that's who you are making your audience for this, I think you're on the right path to get there.
Again -- I'm not suggesting it's wrong to merge faith and rap. But it's usually not going to come across with the gritty edgy kick of mainstream rap.
Maybe consider another word than "special". I categorize the emotion of the word "special" in with 'Swell!" and "Golly Gee!"
good luck.
 
DreamWorks

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Thnx Susie for your kind words, and also bumping up my thread after such a long time...

Cree Thank you for your thoughts - you're right special is a silly word... Personally I don't see this song as being that religious, but I take your point. :)
 
rtilryarms

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I hated disco in the '70's. Now I am learning Bee Gees on the guitar for the first time. I love it. Go figure.

My Son writes rap and hip hop and so I have grown accustomed to it. I even like a couple of songs (don't tell anyone).

So I am qualified to say this is quite good for the genre. Of course 50% of it is emotion and inflection so your performance plays a huge part to pull off good rap.

Good luck.
 
DreamWorks

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Cool... Thnx rtilryarms :)
This is actually the first rap song I wrote
I don't rap, or at least never have
And wasn't planning on doing anything with it - but you kind of inspired me to give it a try... life's too short to not risk making a fool of yourself in the name of art right?! So I will video myself doing it (maybe) if only just to give me something to laugh at :)
 

cree

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DreamWorks said:
Cool... Thnx rtilryarms :)
This is actually the first rap song I wrote
I don't rap, or at least never have
And wasn't planning on doing anything with it - but you kind of inspired me to give it a try... life's too short to not risk making a fool of yourself in the name of art right?! So I will video myself doing it (maybe) if only just to give me something to laugh at :)
Click to expand...

Put it on YouTube!!! We want to see. :)
I'm no songwriter, so my HO is pretty humble, but it IS a great first run at it.
 
Odile

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love it

Hi dreamworks,

I'm a mum from the Netherlands and I love your song. It's very kind.

Actually, religion and rap is hot here in the Netherlands. I'm not a visitor of music-events, too many people and not the right stage in my life (my youngest is 3). But I noticed that at an important festival this year rap about faith was the opening number. I certainly think being able to express faith in songs feels good at this moment of time.

good work!
Odile
 
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