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Susie
08-09-2006, 08:28 AM
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triceretops
08-09-2006, 08:32 AM
Very pretty, Susie. Me like much!

Tri;) :Sun: :Thumbs:

Susie
08-09-2006, 09:55 AM
Thanks so much, Tri, that means a lot to me! So glad you like it! :Hug2:

Cabria
08-09-2006, 03:31 PM
Lovely lyrics Suse! :)

Writesforlaughs
08-09-2006, 07:40 PM
Susie,
That's a sweet, sweet song! Good job!

DanaS
08-09-2006, 08:38 PM
Really nice sentiments Susie-WTG! Dana

Susie
08-10-2006, 03:36 AM
Thx much, guys. Means a lot to me! Much good luck with your writing. :Hug2:

Humorgirl
08-10-2006, 04:18 AM
Very creative, Susie. Now write the music??? lol
(Just kidding...)

Ro

Susie
08-10-2006, 06:17 AM
Thx much, Ro. Sure wish I could write the music. That'd be super!:) Most appreciated.

sonia
08-15-2006, 01:14 PM
Great job Susie. I liked it a lot

sonia

ModoReese
08-16-2006, 01:51 AM
Very nice!

Do you play any instruments? Do you hear any type of style of melody when you read the lines? Does a certain rhythm appear in the words? Do you hear acoustic guitar? Keyboards?

I'm curious. This old lyric writer has picked her guitar up again and is somewhat forcing herself to write music again - before I go all hog-wild on the lyrics (Once I open that particular dam, it's going to be Niagara Falls). I'm not much beyond plunking out chords, but I'm tempted to play around a little......

Susie
08-18-2006, 09:22 PM
Thanks so much Sonia and Modo. I do play the piano and hear the notes in my mind (slow dance music for this song), but can't really write sheet music. Wish I could. Can you? It must be great to do that. And :welcome: to the forum!

Godfather
08-25-2006, 08:36 PM
I wish I had seen this sooner. A beautiful song, Susie.

tarra74
08-27-2006, 05:53 AM
I like it...it's a pretty song. I would love to hear it when it is put to music.

Susie
08-31-2006, 06:11 AM
Thanks so much, guys. Really appreciated! :Hug2:

JRH
09-01-2006, 07:58 AM
Susie,

I hate to rain on your parade because this is a "Good" effort but this is very close to a Julian Lennon song by the same name, particularly in the chorus.

Here's part of his song:

*******


"We used to laugh

We used to cry

We used to bow our head then

Wonder why

But now you're gone

I guess I'll carry on

And make the best of what you left me

Left to me, left to me

I need you

Like the flower needs the rain

You know, I need you

Guess I'll start it all again

You know, I need you

Like the winter needs the spring

You know I need you

I need you


******

Moreover, Janet Jackson has a song of her own containing these lines:

******

My love, my need, tonight, I feel so tight
My love, my need, tonight, just how I like

Like the flowers need the rain (I need you)
Like the blues needs the pain (I need you)
Like the stars need the night (I need you)
Like the waves need the sea (I need you)

******

I only posted part of the lyrics to these songs because of copyright but you can find the whole set of lyrics for the Lennon song at: http://www.tophitsonline.com/lyrics.php?songid=66228 and the Jackson lyrics at: http://www.members.tripod.com/healthekids/id465.htm

The Lennon song is a pretty ballad and one of his few hits but the Jackson song I'm not familiar with as I'm not a fan.

Whether you would have any copyright problems would probably depend on the music you set it to, and even those might be diminished by the similarity of the Lennon and Jackson lyrics but it would be a "risky" proposition to try to publish it as a song without permission from one or the other or both if your sound was anywhere close to theirs.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news.

Jim Hoye (JRH)

Susie
09-01-2006, 09:15 PM
Thanks much for the input. I'm not going to try and sell it anyway, but it was a good trial run at something I haven't had much experience with and appreciate your comments. And the song being compared to Lennon or Jackson is I guess, a kind of a compliment. This is my own original piece and not based on any other songs.

JRH
09-01-2006, 09:42 PM
Hi Susie,

I wasn't trying to put you down in any way and there is no harm in having it up in a Forum like this, (which has been proved by the responces you've received), nor would there be any problem with it simply as a lyric unless you DID set it to music and try to publish it, but I wanted you to realize that comparisons that would inevitably be made if you did so if people were aware of those other songs, (regardless of whether your inspiration was independant or not)

I once wrote a lyric for a song to be called "Castle of Love" but before I could set it to music, Don Mclean came out with a song by the same name that was VERY similar to mine, (including the melody I had in my mind), although I knew I had written mine before I had seen his and there was NO WAY he could have seen mine, but that didn't change the fact that if I put out a song after his, mine would be PERCEIVED as dirivitve, if not a total ripoff of his, so I dropped it, (although I think I still have a copy of the lyric someplace).

The truth is that such similar inspirations occur often and are seldom "intentional" even if there is a "subconscious" element involved, (as would occur if you had heard something similar at some time without even being "consciously" aware of it).

Your lyric was a "VERY" good attempt, and deserves to be reinstated because it can do NO harm here and it's unlikely that anyone will think badly of you for the fact that it is similar to songs that have been done, because most will understand that such things happen, and only an old fellow like me would be likely to "notice" it, at all.

Take pride in it and Write On,

Jim Hoye

Susie
09-01-2006, 09:49 PM
Thanks, Jim. That's most appreciated.