- Joined
- Jul 15, 2006
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- 70
You know, we all do a lot of posting here that involves a word or two here, and maybe a sentence or two there, but how about we raise the bar a little and write a whole paragraph? It would be really nice to actually see some people's writing styles in action.
I am a huge Stephen Colbert fan. I bet some of you are, too. Stephen has two lists on his show. One is his "On Notice" list where he puts people, places or things "on notice" to shape up or be shipped to his "Dead to Me" list -- where he declares they do not exist anymore to him.
How about our own "Dead to Me" list? Surely there are people, places or things that tick us all off and we would like to declare "Dead to Us." Well post them here!
This is how we will do it. You have to post the name of the thing and declare it dead to you. Then you must write a paragraph explaining why it is dead to you. Number your submission to our list and we will see how many things we can declare "Dead to Us"
1. Bedsheets that aren't made of pure cotton - ARE DEAD TO ME -- Hotel and motel managers, take note. From now on, I will not only be bringing my own pillow with me, I will be bringing my sheets as well. I simply refuse to sleep on those raggedy, thread bare, pill covered poly/cotton sheets one more night. Are you people not aware that synthetic fabrics are petroleum based products? So sleeping on synthetic sheets is just another way of making us dependent on Middle Eastern oil and potentially helping our President to open parts of the Alaskan wilderness to oil rigs and making him and his friends Rove and Cheney even bigger robber oil barrons. Polyester sheets are un-American and are only increasing the odds that we are headed toward WW3. I hope you polyester sheet sleepers will be happy when that happens and all the cotton growers in America are on the welfare lines being supported by our tax dollars.
There is nothing like the joy of getting naked and slipping between two high thread count, ice cold pure cotton sheets to either puts a girl right to sleep or puts her in the mood for some mattress jumping. And resting your weary head on a pillow colder than a witchs' ... well you get the picture... is pure heaven. So from now on, it's strictly cotton for this girl. And none of that Egyptian cotton either -- I want my cotton sheets to be AMERICAN. Believe me, this "American Woman" checks, too. I personally sleep on Ralph Lauren -- the sheets, not the guy. Although it annoys me a little that his sheets are marked "Made in America" and "Fabrique aux Etats-Unis" and "Hecho en EE UU". We can dispense with the French and the Spanish. This is America and we speak English. And don't try and slip in any of those cotton knit sheets on me, either. If I wanted to sleep on top of t-shirts I'd sleep on top of Michael Jordan. OK - maybe Kevin Bacon. So I hereby declare Bedsheets that arent made of cotton DEAD TO ME.
I am a huge Stephen Colbert fan. I bet some of you are, too. Stephen has two lists on his show. One is his "On Notice" list where he puts people, places or things "on notice" to shape up or be shipped to his "Dead to Me" list -- where he declares they do not exist anymore to him.
How about our own "Dead to Me" list? Surely there are people, places or things that tick us all off and we would like to declare "Dead to Us." Well post them here!
This is how we will do it. You have to post the name of the thing and declare it dead to you. Then you must write a paragraph explaining why it is dead to you. Number your submission to our list and we will see how many things we can declare "Dead to Us"
1. Bedsheets that aren't made of pure cotton - ARE DEAD TO ME -- Hotel and motel managers, take note. From now on, I will not only be bringing my own pillow with me, I will be bringing my sheets as well. I simply refuse to sleep on those raggedy, thread bare, pill covered poly/cotton sheets one more night. Are you people not aware that synthetic fabrics are petroleum based products? So sleeping on synthetic sheets is just another way of making us dependent on Middle Eastern oil and potentially helping our President to open parts of the Alaskan wilderness to oil rigs and making him and his friends Rove and Cheney even bigger robber oil barrons. Polyester sheets are un-American and are only increasing the odds that we are headed toward WW3. I hope you polyester sheet sleepers will be happy when that happens and all the cotton growers in America are on the welfare lines being supported by our tax dollars.
There is nothing like the joy of getting naked and slipping between two high thread count, ice cold pure cotton sheets to either puts a girl right to sleep or puts her in the mood for some mattress jumping. And resting your weary head on a pillow colder than a witchs' ... well you get the picture... is pure heaven. So from now on, it's strictly cotton for this girl. And none of that Egyptian cotton either -- I want my cotton sheets to be AMERICAN. Believe me, this "American Woman" checks, too. I personally sleep on Ralph Lauren -- the sheets, not the guy. Although it annoys me a little that his sheets are marked "Made in America" and "Fabrique aux Etats-Unis" and "Hecho en EE UU". We can dispense with the French and the Spanish. This is America and we speak English. And don't try and slip in any of those cotton knit sheets on me, either. If I wanted to sleep on top of t-shirts I'd sleep on top of Michael Jordan. OK - maybe Kevin Bacon. So I hereby declare Bedsheets that arent made of cotton DEAD TO ME.