It's so hot today that....

...I had to throw another log on the air conditioner.

...ice cubes sizzle when i throw them in the pool.

I'm cooking meringues on the sidewalk.

*pretending it's hot here*

my shoes melted to the sidewalk.

*pulls light sweater back on*

It's so hot here that my cats are playing in the sprinklers.

I was going to take my son swimming, but it's even too hot for that. We have a window unit, and it hasn't been able to keep up with the heat even in my little bungalow house. It was 84 degrees in my house last night with the a/c on full blast.

So we hung a blanket between the living room and dining room, closed the kitchen door and opened the back door. Now we're camping out in the living room watching movies.

SO... it's so hot you'll boil like a chicken in a pot in the neighbor's pool.

....even the potted cactus are sweating.

. . . I don't even feel like hunting down wascally wabbits and making wabbit stew out of them.

....my breastmilk changed to pasturized cheese product....


*go on eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew*

... Mel Gibson's drinking Kosher wine coolers.

it's so hot the trees are looking for shade

It's so hot today that

my skin puckers from thirst as my raspy voice pleads for a frozen Margarita.

it's so hot the birds are using potholders to pull worms from the ground.

In the city, they're having a problem with people leaving their windows shut for fear of being burgled.

Uh, it's too HOT for the criminals. Even they're not out today. Open the damn window!

It's so hot today my mascara started to run. Fortunately my melting nose caught it.

An old man in a building one of my distant relations lives in died last week. He used to run the air conditioner 24/7, even through winter, so the landlord cut the circuit breaker to his A/C. Apparently he forgot to reconnect it when the heat came.

His family hadn't heard from him in a couple of days, and when they went to find out what was wrong, it became sickeningly clear.


I'm no legal expert, but I'm guessing the landlord's going to be in a lot of trouble.

i'd actually be ok with this heat if I was by water somewhere with a drink in my hand. Is that too much to ask?
..."it cooled down to 90 degrees today* ACK!

dclary said:

An old man in a building one of my distant relations lives in died last week. He used to run the air conditioner 24/7, even through winter, so the landlord cut the circuit breaker to his A/C. Apparently he forgot to reconnect it when the heat came.

His family hadn't heard from him in a couple of days, and when they went to find out what was wrong, it became sickeningly clear.

Click to expand...

That's one of the worst "It's so hot" jokes I ever heard.

It's so hot...I'll share the dashboard recipe of the day:

Combine cubed beef, cubed potatoes, onion and garlic, and sliced veggies of choice, with 1 cup water and 1 can beef gravy in Dutch oven, covered. Place on dashboard of car in morning. Roll up all windows and park car in the center of the parking lot. Enjoy hot stew on way home.