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View Full Version : Things you would never know without the movies



Robert Toy
07-30-2006, 04:34 PM
Check this out :)


http://www.shsu.edu/~csc_tjm/movies.html (http://www.shsu.edu/~csc_tjm/movies.html)

rtilryarms
07-30-2006, 04:56 PM
I love that

SC Harrison
07-30-2006, 06:59 PM
...all phone calls contain important and revealing information.

Maryn
07-30-2006, 07:03 PM
Cute--but I'm pretty sure credit to the original author (I'm pretty sure it's Roger Ebert) is due.

Maryn, thinking how different our lives would be if even half those things were true!

ChaosTitan
07-30-2006, 08:50 PM
He forgot: You can only successfully defuse a bomb when the counter has one second left.

PattiTheWicked
07-30-2006, 08:58 PM
The guy who rescues you from a burning building/car about to explode/crashing plane is always sexy, and never a middle aged dude with a receding hairline and bad skin.

Forbidden Snowflake
07-30-2006, 09:07 PM
...The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris. :roll:

maestrowork
07-30-2006, 09:10 PM
The bad dude always tells the hero his whole evil plan and secrets right before he kills the hero, and of course, the hero always escapes afterward.

When something bad is going to happen, there is always either heavy rain, thunderstorm, fog, wind, or other bad weather elements. It's never a sunny day, breezy day. Except a nuclear holocaust, of course -- it would be the most perfect day before everyone was blown to pieces.

PattiTheWicked
07-30-2006, 09:37 PM
Female spies are always hot.

ChaosTitan
07-30-2006, 09:51 PM
Female spies are always hot.

And odds are good that they are going to stab the hero in the back/are sleeping with the enemy/mentally unstable/not who they appear to be.

Jcomp
07-30-2006, 09:57 PM
If a murder's been committed & there are multiple suspects, the guy who has the most obvious motive, no alibi & all evidence pointin his way didn't really do it. But he'll help you find out who really did.

William Haskins
07-30-2006, 10:05 PM
how easy it is to sell ten cents worth of popcorn for six dollars.

whistlelock
07-30-2006, 10:08 PM
If you shoot a car, it will explode.

SC Harrison
07-30-2006, 10:20 PM
The bad dude always tells the hero his whole evil plan and secrets right before he kills the hero, and of course, the hero always escapes afterward.



Dr. Evil: Scott, I want you to meet daddy's nemesis, Austin Powers
Scott Evil: What? Are you feeding him? Why don't you just kill him?
Dr. Evil: I have an even better idea. I'm going to place him in an easily escapable situation involving an overly elaborate and exotic death.
Dr. Evil: All right guard, begin the unnecessarily slow-moving dipping mechanism.
[guard starts dipping mechanism]
Dr. Evil: Close the tank!
Scott Evil: Wait, aren't you even going to watch them? They could get away!
Dr. Evil: No no no, I'm going to leave them alone and not actually witness them dying, I'm just gonna assume it all went to plan. What?
Scott Evil: I have a gun, in my room, you give me five seconds, I'll get it, I'll come back down here, BOOM, I'll blow their brains out!
Dr. Evil: Scott, you just don't get it, do ya? You don't.

maestrowork
07-30-2006, 10:22 PM
In a city of 10 million, these people actually find each other, especially at the most crucial moment.

It takes 5 minutes to go from lower Manhattan to Upper West Side. During rush hour.

jbal
07-30-2006, 11:01 PM
People who have been shot are able to get up immediately and perform herculean tasks as long as the wound is not fatal.

SC Harrison
07-30-2006, 11:05 PM
An eight-round clip can actually hold several dozen bullets, and a thirty-round magazine is good for hundreds.

Jcomp
07-30-2006, 11:06 PM
how easy it is to sell ten cents worth of popcorn for six dollars.

True that. But for some reason people fall into that trap all the time. Just flood the cinema entrance with that popcorn aroma and you'll have people in line. Everyone complains about it, but we keep buying it, always forgetting that actually eating popcorn never manages to live up to how good it smells. It's a cruel trick of the cosmos...

Elizabeth Slick
07-31-2006, 03:22 AM
What a pretty Siamese kitty, Robert!
Now I want to do a painting.

dclary
07-31-2006, 04:56 AM
When I bought my new house it wasn't built yet -- we got to select all the options, etc.

My wife wanted lever-based doors, but I said no. No, they have to be doorknobs.

"Why?" She asked.

"Velociraptors can open lever doors," I said.

She said I was insane. I immediately called my father and said "Dad, why do we need door knobs instead of levers in the house?"

He replied "Dinosaurs."

There you go. It's a little harder bringing groceries in from outside, but buddy, my house is velociraptor free. And I owe it all to what I learned in movies.

Bayou Bill
07-31-2006, 07:54 AM
Alien life-forms from outer space are ALWAYS scary, ugly (except possibly for a hot chick crew member or two), evil, brilliant, and determined to do a whole lot of vile, nasty, disgusting things to clueless, unresisting inhabitants of planet Earth. That is, of course, except for the hero and his hot chick partner who, after failing to convince those same dumb-as-a-brick humans of the impending peril, are now, for some reason, struggling to save them.

Bayou Bill :cool:

Gehanna
07-31-2006, 08:05 AM
Women can't run from danger without falling down at least once.

My-Immortal
07-31-2006, 08:08 AM
Women can't run from danger without falling down at least once.

Also - you can't run away from danger without looking back numerous times (and screaming).

Robert Toy
07-31-2006, 08:10 AM
Women can't run from danger without falling down at least once.
And don't forget that she is wearing high heels and typically in the middle of the woods. ;)

My-Immortal
07-31-2006, 08:12 AM
And don't forget that she is wearing high heels and typically in the middle of the woods. ;)

And often wearing a mini skirt and a blouse with a plunging neckline....

....wait, are we complaining about this? ;)

Gehanna
07-31-2006, 08:15 AM
Yeah, that's right My-Immortal LOL

I don't know about you but I find it rather insulting. Why don't men ever fall down?

Next horror movie, I wanna see a man screaming like a woman while running through the woods. Then, I want him to fall down a couple of times and be saved at the last min by a woman. dangit

My-Immortal
07-31-2006, 08:16 AM
Yeah, that's right My-Immortal LOL

I don't know about you but I find it rather insulting. Why don't men ever fall down?

Next horror movie, I wanna see a man screaming like a woman while running through the woods. Then, I want him to fall down a couple of times and be saved at the last min by a woman. dangit

LOL - is he trying to run through the woods screaming while wearing high heels?

My-Immortal
07-31-2006, 08:18 AM
If you kill something evil, nasty, fishy, alien.....and then you celebrate, odds are you only killed the 'baby' and the 'momma' will open a can of whoop-a$$ all over you.

Robert Toy
07-31-2006, 08:33 AM
Yeah, that's right My-Immortal LOL

I don't know about you but I find it rather insulting. Why don't men ever fall down?

Next horror movie, I wanna see a man screaming like a woman while running through the woods. Then, I want him to fall down a couple of times and be saved at the last min by a woman. dangit
Haven’t you noticed that the man is always in the front of the woman yelling at her to run faster…the a$$hole has already left her behind!

poetinahat
07-31-2006, 09:01 AM
All New York apartments are bright, spacious, freshly painted, and tastefully decorated, no matter what sort of poorly paid shmoe job the tenant has.

Oh, yes -- and everybody can afford not to have roommates.

(This rule only came into being after The Honeymooners ended.)

deacon
07-31-2006, 09:31 AM
the evil person is always behind the tree you choose to lean against.

and you can blow the hood completely off of any car with a shotgun.

TsukiRyoko
07-31-2006, 12:49 PM
They forgot to add something in there...

...No matter how big an explosion is, you'll still be at exactly the right distance to stay alive with just a scratch or two.

Bmwhtly
07-31-2006, 02:11 PM
Next horror movie, I wanna see a man screaming like a woman while running through the woods. Then, I want him to fall down a couple of times and be saved at the last min by a woman. dangit

This isn't exactly what you're after, but there is a (British) Horror film coming out in the US on Friday called 'The Descent' which has chicks being tough, realistic and hardly screaming at all.
(It doesn't have the man being rescued because the only man in the film... well I don't want to spoil it for you)

It's good, go see it.

maestrowork
07-31-2006, 09:36 PM
...No matter how big an explosion is, you'll still be at exactly the right distance to stay alive with just a scratch or two.

And even if you're hurt, you'll be running and jumping and dodging bullets in no time. Who needs medical care?

PattiTheWicked
07-31-2006, 09:55 PM
If your camping buddies are being gradually picked off by a scary serial killed in the woods, the logical thing to do is split up go off somewhere alone. In the dark.

Stew21
07-31-2006, 09:58 PM
If you're trying to get away from bad guys, jump off a high bridge into a river. A boat will be along right on time, with soft freight to catch you and carry you to safety.

Robert Toy
07-31-2006, 10:02 PM
If you're trying to get away from bad guys, jump off a high bridge into a river. A boat will be along right on time, with soft freight to catch you and carry you to safety.
Version II – jumping off a building into a conveniently passing open top garbage truck, that contains lots of loose lettuce pieces.

deacon
07-31-2006, 10:04 PM
And often wearing a mini skirt and a blouse with a plunging neckline....

....wait, are we complaining about this? ;)

i hope not! sometimes that's the only part worth staring at.. i mean watching.

deacon
07-31-2006, 10:05 PM
i learned that you can knock a big man out with a single karate chop to the top of his shoulder. don't know why, but it's true. i have seen it in many movies.

colpo di fulmine
07-31-2006, 10:32 PM
I never knew that you could wake perfectly with your make-up & hair in place. hmmm... never works for me.

colpo di fulmine
07-31-2006, 10:33 PM
"i learned that you can knock a big man out with a single karate chop to the top of his shoulder. don't know why, but it's true. i have seen it in many movies." hahaha

Bayou Bill
07-31-2006, 11:30 PM
Version II – jumping off a building into a conveniently passing open top garbage truck, that contains lots of loose lettuce pieces.Don't give away ALL the good stuff from the Da Vinci Code.

Scientist are always mousy nerds or evil megalomaniacs.

In westerns, cowboys never, ever go to the bathroom.

No private eye ever has a sense of humor.

Bayou Bill :cool:

maestrowork
07-31-2006, 11:57 PM
As the plane plunges to the ground at over 200 mph, a person could get bounced around in the cabin with getting seriously hurt and injured. Not even a scratch.

Old, fat men always have thin, young, and beautiful wives.

Gay people are either depressing and suicidal, or they're flamboyant hairdressers.

MidnightMuse
08-01-2006, 12:01 AM
People in red shirts will die.

Women always walk toward the scary noise that has them terrified.

Bad guys can't aim guns. Good guys always win. And the car will never start when you need it to.

(just ONCE I'd love to see a movie where all of humanity is threatened, and doesn't win!)

Jcomp
08-01-2006, 12:04 AM
(just ONCE I'd love to see a movie where all of humanity is threatened, and doesn't win!)

Hmmm, I think I could name a few flix, but I don't want to spoil endings...

dclary
08-01-2006, 01:21 AM
Hmmm, I think I could name a few flix, but I don't want to spoil endings...

Gigli?

arrowqueen
08-01-2006, 01:24 AM
No matter where the car breaks down, there are always psychopaths in the vicinity.

deacon
08-01-2006, 02:18 AM
Gigli?

we all died a little that day

ETA: did you notice that Benny-boy forgot to include his ridiculous accent in some scenes?

dclary
08-01-2006, 02:54 AM
He went to the Kevin Costner School of Accents

billythrilly7th
08-01-2006, 03:32 AM
I would never have known how to defeat a charging army with a hundred times the amount of horses I had.

http://www.macbraveheart.co.uk/images/movie/long_spears.jpg

Yeshanu
08-01-2006, 03:39 AM
how easy it is to sell ten cents worth of popcorn for six dollars.

Would you like butter with that? (For an extra 49 cents...) :D

dclary
08-01-2006, 03:42 AM
Butter would be AWESOME. Unfortunately you're only offered buttery-scented hot oil.

Yeshanu
08-01-2006, 03:44 AM
Butter would be AWESOME. Unfortunately you're only offered buttery-scented hot oil.

Not true! <sulk> We offer real butter at our movie theatre.

(Some people claim the buttery-scented hot oil we give out for free tastes better, but the butter is real butter...)

poetinahat
08-01-2006, 03:47 AM
As they age, people don't wrinkle; they just go a little powder-grey. (Come back, Barry Lyndon, all is forgiven.)

Yeshanu
08-01-2006, 03:52 AM
You can cut off someone's head or arm and they'll bleed less than if you scratch them with your nails.

Torn shirts magically become whole when we look away, even if the person in the torn shirt didn't have time to change.

The heros never get dirty, even if they've been wandering through bug-infested swamps for days.

Everybody has perfect teeth, even if they lived before real dentists came on the scene.

deacon
08-01-2006, 03:59 AM
without movies i wouldn't have known that canoeing down a river in Georgia can be a pain in the as$ and that a pretty mouth is sometimes a hindrance

dclary
08-01-2006, 04:20 AM
Not true! <sulk> We offer real butter at our movie theatre.

Well, now I'm very sad that I don't live in Ithilien. In LA it's oil.

deacon
08-01-2006, 04:21 AM
i think in oklahoma it's power steering fluid

Jcomp
08-01-2006, 04:28 AM
...and that a pretty mouth is sometimes a hindrance

That lesson can also be learned in prison.

maestrowork
08-01-2006, 04:33 AM
I would never have known how to defeat a charging army with a hundred times the amount of horses I had.


Everyone dies in a battle... except the hero, of course. He could dodge machine gun bullets as if he was Wonder Woman.

http://www.cineclub.de/images/2004/01/last-samurai-1.jpg

deacon
08-01-2006, 04:42 AM
That lesson can also be learned in prison.

damn, now that's two places i have to avoid

bluejester12
08-01-2006, 11:04 PM
Seems like the right time to throw this list back into the mix again

http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html