Brief Intro, Praise and questions

Hello,

I have been 'camping out' here for a few days and pouring over every word and bit of advice. What a treasure trove!

I am impressed with the support and humor shown here. This seems to be the place to ask for insight and advice so here goes....

I feel my 'calling' is to write about my children and various life experiences. I would consider my writing style to fall in the personal essay/non-fiction category. The majority of things I have written have come from challenges and overcoming tragedies.

I have three sons and a daughter who was stillborn. Each of my sons is considered disabled. The two older boys have a form of cerebral palsy and epilepsy. Each has cheated death several times in their young lives and taken a few years off my life for each hair raising incident:wha
My baby was born with down syndrome and fits perfectly into our wacky little family. According to my pediatrician, our family defies medical odds of having three bio kids with disabilities. I asked him if the AMA gave out prizes for that sort of thing...he told me he thought it healthy that I have a sense of humor.

So, if I write what I know...hmmmmm...that would be raising kids with physical and mental challenges, seeing the 'sunshine through the rain', vigils by hospital beds, hours of belly button gazing contemplating how a geeky kid grew up to be a punk rocker who grew up some more and got her life together and ended up as a mom to three amazing boys. In between all of those events were moments of other medical miracles, a divorce, remarriage, death of a child, a 'jaunt' into the adult entertainment industry(a story for another time:ssh ) and other life lessons.

Deep in my heart I believe my words and stories are to convey a message of encouragement to my reader. I firmly believe that no matter how crappy our lives may be it is still possible to look around and find someone who is going through something far worse(which usually puts an end to my own pity parties) and I believe that there are lessons to be learned in everything that transpires in our lives. These are the things I attempt to convey when I write.

It is only recently that I have truly admitted my desire to share my 'work/heart' with people I don't know. My self image wasn't confident enough to just put it out there for all to see. Several things have transpired and changed my attitude.

I belong to an online email group and one of our members is a published author(hmmm...do I use this moment to name drop? nahhhh) and she has been gracious enough to read some of my essays and has encouraged me to start 'putting it out there', as she thinks I have talent.

The biggest change though, has come from wanting to encourage other parents with special needs kids and to de-mystify the world of the disabled. One commonly held belief I hear from people is, "God must think you are special to give you such special kids" and my standard reply is, "Me special? No, God just has me on his accelerated self-improvement course because of all the time I wasted in my life and at this rate, I expect to be darn near perfect by the time they are 18."

Ok, it is late...so, I will get to the point. I am open to feedback and input from the pros here as to the what/when/where/how/ stuff. I know I am tired when I start using the word 'stuff'...anyway, I guess what I am asking for is suggestions as to how to market my particular style and what avenues I might pursue. Please don't flame me for spelling or grammar...that is what my 11 yr old is for:lol
Another sure sign of fatigue is when I want to find a place for all the smileys in my text...

I look forward to getting to know the people on this board and cheering for each other's successes.

Going to bed now,
Tana R

Welcome Tana. Wow! You've got a wealth of material and I think your published author friend is absolutley right: start getting it written and "out there."

If you haven't sifted through the FAQs board yet, I'd recommend you do so. That will save a lot of typing regarding the how-to's and some of the where-to's.

Womens' mags and newspapers would be natural target markets. There's at least one (I think it's called "Abilities") and probably a few magazines that target the disabled or "differently-abled."

If you built a website I think they would come. A newsletter aimed at folks in your position is at least a possibility.

On the more immediate and practical side; just write a couple of essays/articles. They can be short (500-800 words) or medium-longish (1000-2500) amusing and/or instructive/inspirational but get them done.

Then look for markets that accept finished pieces. Many humour/personal essays don't need to be queried because their appeal depends on style.

I have very little doubt that you'll succeed in being published. The courage, tenacity and humour you need are already ingrained.

But I'll wish you luck anyway. Glad to have you aboard.

God just has me on his accelerated self-improvement course because of all the time I wasted in my life and at this rate, I expect to be darn near perfect by the time they are 18.

Click to expand...

Oh! So that's what it's all about...

Welcome, Tana. My 14 yo son is autistic, so I know a bit about where you're coming from, with the accelerated self-improvement course. My least favourite comment from others is, "You're so patient!"

Of course I'm patient -- having an autistic child throw a temper-tantrum every time you show impatience is a great Pavlovian-style conditioner... :ack

I agree with Frank with regards to women's mags and newspapers. Read a few issues of every one you can get your hands on. Often they'll have a section devoted to reader's experiences. These are shorter pieces (1 page) and the editors are open to new writers.

The writer's guidelines for each magazine will often tell you the best way to break in to that particular mag.

And welcome.

Welcome, Tana.

Welcome, Tana!

Looks like you have no problem with determination, subject matter and focus. Market research is a time-consuming task, but made easier by familiarizing yourself with the process.

Best of luck to you, although I don't think you'll need much!

LJ

one more 'welcome!'

MINE!:jump arty :snoopy

:hug s, maia

Thank you all for the warm welcome! The downside to finding this site is that I am seriously hooked...and want to read everything ever posted here.

Here is a question...when was the moment you introduced yourself as a 'writer' and didn't feel like a fake or fraud for doing so....but said it with confidence and knew you were 'the real deal'?
Just curious.

:nerd
Tana

That's been a highly debated issue among writers for a very long time. Some feel that being a writer is a state of mind. Others state that if you write, you are a writer. Period. Still another group believes that you must be paid for your work before you can lay claim to the title.

It is my personal belief that there are "writers" and there are "working writers." The distinction coming in the form of monetary compensation for the work.

Before I ever received a nickel for my efforts, I considered myself a "writer" who aspired to become a "working writer."

Tana,

If you're worried about getting hooked, you might enjoy this thread, started by (ahem) yours truly:

p197.ezboard.com/fabsolutewritefrm9.showMessage?topicID=211.topic

Some feel that being a writer is a state of mind.

Click to expand...

No. Being a writer is a state of pen on paper (or pixels on a computer screen, as the case may be.)

Where people get confused is the difference between "writer" and "professional writer." That's where the money part comes in.

But if you produce written work beyond grocery lists and the like, you're a writer, and you should call yourself one.

(Note that this says nothing about quality. There are bad writers and there are good writers, just as there are bad musicians and good musicians.)

Welcome Tana ! :jump

See you around the board !

Hey Tana! One of my writing specialties is disabilities. My bro, who happens to be my favorite human being on the planet, has Down syndrome (and he's dying to write a book with me... which we are totally going to do someday). Just wanted to say hi and glad you're here!

Hi Tana

If you want a really good, practical guide on how to go about things as a freelancer, try Jenna'a book: Make A Real Living As A Freelance Writer. She even has a coupla pages on how to negotiate over the phone with an ed (word for word) for the best deal . Now, if that ain't thorough, I don't know what is!

Probably the only things you might ever need would be that book and the wealth of info available on the various forums here.

As a newbie to the writing world as well, I know what you mean when you talk about "being a writer." When I first started writing, I used to say to people "Yeah, I do stuff... Okay?" Now I just say "Yeah. I'm a writer. Not published yet. But I'm a writer."

And I also used to hesitate at throwing the word 'stuff' in all the time - like my kids do when their vocalulary fails them. But it does work every now and then...

'Kay! Coffee time!:coffee

Hi Jenna and WriteRight!

Jenna, I did take notice that you had written the 'Taking Down syndrome to school' book and my first thought was, "hmmmmm...she must know someone with ds" and now I know!

How old is your brother? My Matthew is 8 mos...and just a riot as far as babies go. I want him to stay a baby forever(in one way) but can't wait to see all the ways he will delight us as he grows.

I am trying to get a feel for what the market is like re: disability books. I don't want to do a how-to book...because on my best days I feel I know as much as my dog about raising kids with disabilities. The idea that is shaping up in my mind is more...bear with me while I think out loud...is along the lines of Erma Bombeck in which I rely heavily on humor to make my points but include many poignant moments based on observations and lessons learned.

One thing I did this week that I could NOT have done in months or years past was to call my ex cousin-in-law(is there such a title?) who lives in NYC. She is the art director for a parenting magazine. I told her I have started writing and have some articles/essays that I would like to send to the editor who handles those submissions. I asked for a name and whether I could reference her as a contact..and she said 'yes'! She wished me luck and told me to send her a copy of my stuff as well...:clap

That mag may not be the right place for my stuff...but, it was important to go through the motions of validating my work and atleast give it a shot. Makes it less scary the next time...I hope:eek

I will need to read your book on freelance writing...now that my kids are back in school:snoopy it should be easier to actually read something more demanding than the back to school supply list.

Later,
Tana

Welcome!

Welcome to Absolute Write Tana!

Glad to have you with us . . .
Cate

Oops! Missed your response, Tana. My bro is 25. Works at a hospital, has a better social life than anyone I know... he's just the best.

I think the world NEEDS a lot more humor, especially on topics like disabilities. You ever read the "Holland" story? About the mom who thinks she's going to (I don't know... Italy or something) and winds up in Holland instead, and finds out she likes it even though it's not what she expected? Metaphor for having a baby with DS. It's not humor, really, but it's something that's stuck with me for years.

Looking forward to seeing where you go with your work!