Labels

Oh yes

On a bottle of full cream Jersey milk:

Warning - contains milk!!!

Yes, really.

On a blow dryer - do not use this product while sleeping.

On a bag of peanuts:

May contain nuts

I should hope so!

On a child's Superman Halloween costume -- Warning - Wearing this outfit does give the wearer the ability to fly .. DAMN ... I want my money back

On my friend's cat's medicine bottle: 'Caution. May cause drowsiness. Do not drive heavy machinery.'

On a Korean made kitchen knife -- Warning - keep out of children ...

One of my all time favorites: on the back of the Kraft Deli Deluxe cheese is a recipe for a Deli Deluxe Sub Sandwich.

Deli Deluxe Sub Sandwich

Prep: 5 mintues

1 bread roll or Fench bread roll (6 inches)
2 Tbsp. KRAFT Mayo Real Mayonnaise or MIRACLE WHIP Salad Dressing
2 KRAFT DELI DELUXE American Cheese slices
6 slices OSCAR MAYER VARIETY-PAK meats, any variety
Lettuce
Tomato slices
Spread roll with mayo
Fill with remaining ingredients
Makes 2 servings

I love the one on Christmas lights "For indoor or outdoor use only" - gee does that mean I can't use them in another dimension?

it's always the cigarette advisory for me:

Government Warning: Cigarette smoking is dangerous to your health....now, why is it that a lot of people turn into a chimney?

On my bottle of unscented hairspray, it lists the ingredients including Fragrance. Huh?

This is true- happened today. My through the wall air conditioner was making noises so I called a repairman. A guy came today, looked at it and said it will make it through the season, not to bother replacing it now - wait and buy one at the end of the summer. Fine - so I paid him 50 bucks for a service call and he wrote me a reciept. I just read it now. In his own handwriting (not pre-printed) it says ...

Service call only - $50.00
90 day guarantee

I can only assume that for the next 90 days, I'm guaranteed this guy won't show up at my house again.

on a bottle of liquid soap:
Please avoid contact with brain and spinal chord.

For Soccer Mom ...