I won't laugh!
Innkeeper said:
So - could you describe how it physically feels to become inebriated? I'm less interested in the emotional reaction which varies from person to person and more interested in the gradual physical affects.
I'm not laughing! I have to say, however, that it depends on the person (his or her size, weight, tolerance), and what they are drinking, if they're eating anything with it or drinking on an empty stomach....There are so many factors.
I'll give you my personal experience:
I'm 5ft, 7inches, female....I'll just say a "normal" weight for my height. I don't drink often...maybe a few drinks to none during a month. If I'm at a get-together, I might drink 3-4 drinks. I've only been really drunk during college a few times, and since then, maybe twice to the point where I was sick the next day.
1 glass of wine: Depending on the brand, the first glass might not taste that great, unless it's a really wonderful wine. A little bitter or dry...I don't notice much, other than that I feel relaxed. By the end of the glass, I'm much more in the mood for another. I don't notice much in the way of physical effects.
2nd glass of wine: It doesn't taste bitter or dry at all. In fact, I'm really liking this wine. By the bottom of this glass (depends on the size), I feel a little buzzy...translation: I feel like I want to giggle....I feel like I just took a pain killer or something that makes me feel comfortable...I don't have any problems walking...When I go into the bathroom, my face looks normal. I can have a normal conversation. I don't feel dizzy or anything. I should probably stop now and switch to something non-alcholic.
3rd glass of wine: This is the best wine I've ever had. Did I say it was bitter before? It's not at all! By the end of this glass, I feel happy, buzzy, and like everyone at the table is my best friend. I could tell them anything. Did I tell you about the time I got arrested, Mom? Ha Ha! This time, when I go to the bathroom, I sort of feel like I'm a little bit removed from my body....like my head is in a bubble...it could be described like the "medicine head" feeling you get from some cold medicines....When I look at my face in the mirror, it seems a little weird....like when you stare at a word too long it doesn't really seem like a word anymore?
4th glass of wine: I'm not just buzzy, I'm getting pretty tipsy. I'm a little more clumsy when I walk. I can still hold a conversation, but I'm probably giving everyone too much information. My teeth and tongue are starting to feel numb (not everyone gets this, but I do), not to mention purple because I'm drinking red wine--I'm starting to look like a carny. When I walk, I feel like I have to concentrate more. I'm not staggering, but I'm definitely slower in my reflexes, and I'm not going to be driving. I'm starting to think about switching to something else to drink...like tequila shots or Yager. Luckily, my husband won't allow me to mix and I stick with the wine.
5th glass of wine: I'm such a lightweight. I can't believe I'm drunk. Oh well, it feels good. People are starting to look at me, but I don't really care. I think I'm talking too loud. My husband has to take my arm and make sure I get to the bathroom okay. I stumble over my own feet, even though there is nothing to stumble on...When I get to the bathroom, I don't even look at the mirror. It will probably be waving around, and I don't want to get too dizzy. I concentrate really hard on getting my underwear and pants back up...wonder if I look drunk to anyone who doesn't know me...I don't bother washing my hands because I'm thinking about getting out of the bathroom to have more fun.
6th glass of wine: My husband warns me that I'm going to be sick later, and I better stop drinking. I can feel wine sloshing around in my stomach. I'm getting a little bit of a headache. (If this were beer, my nose would be totally stuffed up by now. If it were mixed drinks w/alcohol, I'd be in trouble.) I can't walk very well at this point, so as I stagger around the room, I have to sort of cling onto each person I pass. I can't feel my teeth or tongue at all when I try to bite down on my tongue--something I feel the need to demonstrate to everyone I pass. I'm starting to feel a little nausous, like maybe I should eat something dry to soak up some of the alcohol. I'm careful not to sit down, because when I do, the room will start spinning (the speed of the spinning can range from the slow drift of a boat on the water to the Tilt-a-Whirl carnival ride).
7th glass of wine: If my husband even lets me have one (and I probably will have already cut myself off at this point--but on rare occasions I have gotten this far), I'm totally drunk. Someone is mad at me because I kept telling her I loved her...and she's accusing me of being gay and hitting on her boyfriend, too, which doesn't make sense--but I'm drunk and not really concentrating. I'm trying to make peace and explain I'm drunk. I can't walk unassisted. I'm going to the bathroom every 5 minutes now, and I'm feeling no pain. I could potentially walk out of the bathroom without my pants on and not feel it, because my legs are sort of rubbery and numb. My head is spinning now even when I'm standing up. I'm pretty sure I'm going to be sick in the morning, if not tonight. Bright lights make me feel like I'll throw up, especially flashing ones, and any music at this point is sort of irritating because it seems to make the spinning faster.
8th glass of wine: Okay, I've drunk like 2 bottles of wine. I was on my way to the bathroom, and I tripped. I laid on the floor for a few minutes and the tile was nice and cool against my cheek. After 30 seconds, I forget where I am or where I was going. After another 30 seconds, the cold floor starts to feel like a toilet bowl, and that's a good thing cause I don't feel so good...and I throw up on the floor. My head is spinning...I can't form a coherant thought...I feel like I'm in a dream that has gotten away from me. My husband lifts my head from the vomit and asks if I'm ready to go home... I think. He could have suggested we go to Rome or the Silverdome....or to a club or to a friend's house. My hearing seems to be off...or my ears work but they are sending the wrong messages to my brain. Everything is fuzzy...like I'm underwater. My husband is looking at me funny and laughing because I've said something that has absolutely nothing to do with anything. I repeat it and get the same response. I'm starting to get a little pissed that he's laughing at me. I just threw up. I stomp ahead of him, probably fall a few times on the way to the car, lay down in the backseat...potentially throw up on the side of the road, or worse out of the window so that specks of who knows what can hit the side of the car or fly back at my face.
I get home...eat a piece of bread. Drink a glass of water, even though I don't want to but my husband makes me. I take 2 asprin in anticipation of a hang-over. If I lay down on the bed, I get really dizzy and the room spins...not fun amusement park spinning, but-I'm-gonna-throw-up-in-2- seconds-if-it-doesn't-stop.
I may throw up a few more times during the night. If my husband takes pity, he might bring me a trash can for next to the bed. Otherwise, I'm exhausted...too exhausted to get back to bed...and I awaken in the morning on the bathroom floor, curled up in a ball on the mat next to the toilet. I swear I'll never drink again. The thought of food is disgusting. The thought of wine is even worse. My head is pounding...my back hurts from throwing up...my throat is raw...eyes are red and dry...I'm completely dehydrated...I can feel my teeth and tongue and limbs...but I wish I couldn't because everything hurts. I sleep all day and don't drink again for a year.
Hope this helps! I tried to give both my physical and emotional experiences...you can't really separate the two when you're drunk. Physical and emotional all seem like the same thing. Experiences can vary...sometimes I might be funny drunk...I can be obnoxious drunk...sexual drunk...hungry drunk. This is just a typical drunk...if you can call typical 2 or 3 times in my whole life.
All-in-all, you're not missing anything.