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06-14-2006, 11:18 PM Warren vbmenu_register("postmenu_647497", true);
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Threw a look, gave a look?
Not certain this question belongs here as it's more of a lexicon question, but I'll post it anyway.
I'm looking for both British and American English verbs to fit into this sentence:
Matiie <verbed> her a menacing look.
Yes, I know I can write it as "...sneered/leered/glared at her." In this case, I want to write it out as "...gave her a menacing look."
I've thought of "dropped" and "offered," but these are too benign for the sentence. "Gave" seems appropriate as a most common usage but it's still weak. "Threw" is stronger, but I'm not happy with it for some reason.
Any ideas? No, this isn't writers' block. It's a senior moment!
The characters and the narrative happen to be British, so any local jargon from the isles would be fine. For American English, something more mainstream would be needed so it would work in British English too.
Thanks,
Warren
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06-15-2006, 12:52 AM maestrowork vbmenu_register("postmenu_647598", true);
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How about:
Matiie shot her a menacing look.
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06-15-2006, 02:52 AM Cat Scratch vbmenu_register("postmenu_647676", true);
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How about "barfed?" Oh, wait, this isn't Mad Libs...
I was going to suggest what Maestro said. Which in itself indicates it is a cliche, since it's the first thing that popped into both our heads.
This post had no point! Hooray!
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06-15-2006, 03:29 AM Rod Munch vbmenu_register("postmenu_647692", true);
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I'd suggest a completely different sentence. A character giving (or throwing) someone a menacing look is a bit of a cliche. Is there any way you can work it so your character does something else and still gets her menace across?
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06-15-2006, 04:56 AM Puma vbmenu_register("postmenu_647726", true);
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Threw, shot, gave all work. I wouldn't worry about the cliche - most people speak in cliches. Puma
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06-15-2006, 07:07 AM Jamesaritchie vbmenu_register("postmenu_647820", true);
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Puma
Threw, shot, gave all work. I wouldn't worry about the cliche - most people speak in cliches. Puma
Yeah, but those who write in cliches speak in terms of how many rejections they receive.
As an editor, cliches mean I stop reading right on the spot and reach for the nearest rejection slip.
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06-15-2006, 08:07 AM maestrowork vbmenu_register("postmenu_647860", true);
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Wow, you're tough, James. You would really reject someone like that? The fact is, I have found cliches in almost every published work I've read, including literary work by famous authors.
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06-15-2006, 12:05 PM reph vbmenu_register("postmenu_648256", true);
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Quote:
Originally Posted by maestrowork
I have found cliches in almost every published work I've read, including literary work by famous authors.
Hamlet...
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06-15-2006, 03:24 PM Silver King vbmenu_register("postmenu_648753", true);
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Can a look really be thrown? If so, do you have to wind up and pitch it like a fast ball, or does the underhanded softball approach work better?
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06-15-2006, 04:29 PM smiley10000 vbmenu_register("postmenu_648884", true);
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver King
Can a look really be thrown? If so, do you have to wind up and pitch it like a fast ball, or does the underhanded softball approach work better?
I was going to say "tossed" but I have to agree with everyone above. Unless your character has away to use there hand when looking it should not be tossed, thrown, shot, barfed, given, sling shot, expelled, etc.
I know you don't want to, but I would trust Mr. Ritchie if he says it's cliche...
10000
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06-15-2006, 07:03 PM Puma vbmenu_register("postmenu_649184", true);
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Cliches
So, James, how do you write realistic dialogue if you don't use cliches? For that matter, how do you write almost anything and convey what you want to say? Going back to Warren's original question, how would you write the sentence to get across the meaning? Puma
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06-15-2006, 07:56 PM pdr vbmenu_register("postmenu_649337", true);
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Um...
Reph, he made the cliches first!
Matiie <verbed> her a menacing look.
Possibly?
Mattie directed a menacing look at her.
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06-15-2006, 09:51 PM Cat Scratch vbmenu_register("postmenu_649576", true);
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Puma
Threw, shot, gave all work. I wouldn't worry about the cliche - most people speak in cliches. Puma
We are not most people. We are writers.
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Threw a look, gave a look?
Not certain this question belongs here as it's more of a lexicon question, but I'll post it anyway.
I'm looking for both British and American English verbs to fit into this sentence:
Matiie <verbed> her a menacing look.
Yes, I know I can write it as "...sneered/leered/glared at her." In this case, I want to write it out as "...gave her a menacing look."
I've thought of "dropped" and "offered," but these are too benign for the sentence. "Gave" seems appropriate as a most common usage but it's still weak. "Threw" is stronger, but I'm not happy with it for some reason.
Any ideas? No, this isn't writers' block. It's a senior moment!
The characters and the narrative happen to be British, so any local jargon from the isles would be fine. For American English, something more mainstream would be needed so it would work in British English too.
Thanks,
Warren
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How about:
Matiie shot her a menacing look.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. -- Marianne Williamson.
My novel, The Pacific Between (2006 IPPY Finalist), is now available: Click here. Visit my site and my blog
Peacock Who Lives Next Door
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In a rainforest.
Posts: 213
How about "barfed?" Oh, wait, this isn't Mad Libs...
I was going to suggest what Maestro said. Which in itself indicates it is a cliche, since it's the first thing that popped into both our heads.
This post had no point! Hooray!
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Please vote for my Bad Boss Story
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I'd suggest a completely different sentence. A character giving (or throwing) someone a menacing look is a bit of a cliche. Is there any way you can work it so your character does something else and still gets her menace across?
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Threw, shot, gave all work. I wouldn't worry about the cliche - most people speak in cliches. Puma
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Puma
Threw, shot, gave all work. I wouldn't worry about the cliche - most people speak in cliches. Puma
Yeah, but those who write in cliches speak in terms of how many rejections they receive.
As an editor, cliches mean I stop reading right on the spot and reach for the nearest rejection slip.
recruiting fresh firemen
Mod Squad Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: UNKNOWN
Posts: 15,248
Wow, you're tough, James. You would really reject someone like that? The fact is, I have found cliches in almost every published work I've read, including literary work by famous authors.
__________________
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. -- Marianne Williamson.
My novel, The Pacific Between (2006 IPPY Finalist), is now available: Click here. Visit my site and my blog
Dances with Words
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Chair
Posts: 4,899
Quote:
Originally Posted by maestrowork
I have found cliches in almost every published work I've read, including literary work by famous authors.
Hamlet...
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 72
Can a look really be thrown? If so, do you have to wind up and pitch it like a fast ball, or does the underhanded softball approach work better?
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Join Date: May 2006
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver King
Can a look really be thrown? If so, do you have to wind up and pitch it like a fast ball, or does the underhanded softball approach work better?
I was going to say "tossed" but I have to agree with everyone above. Unless your character has away to use there hand when looking it should not be tossed, thrown, shot, barfed, given, sling shot, expelled, etc.
I know you don't want to, but I would trust Mr. Ritchie if he says it's cliche...
10000
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Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: near Columbus Ohio
Posts: 191
Cliches
So, James, how do you write realistic dialogue if you don't use cliches? For that matter, how do you write almost anything and convey what you want to say? Going back to Warren's original question, how would you write the sentence to get across the meaning? Puma
Writer
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Still moving around.
Posts: 580
Um...
Reph, he made the cliches first!
Matiie <verbed> her a menacing look.
Possibly?
Mattie directed a menacing look at her.
Peacock Who Lives Next Door
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: In a rainforest.
Posts: 213
Quote:
Originally Posted by Puma
Threw, shot, gave all work. I wouldn't worry about the cliche - most people speak in cliches. Puma
We are not most people. We are writers.
__________________
Please vote for my Bad Boss Story
Help me win a vacation. I need it. Bad.