Young Grandmas Wanted (this is not a porn thing)

MadAlice

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PSA Kids: Teen pregnancy will make you a grandma at 40 (or less). My daughter (was raised by her adoptive parents, reconnected, feel-good story) is now 22 and prego! I haven't told a lot of people yet, not even a lot of my family, but here we are and I wanna talk about it. She's due in like January I think. She's been asking me for advice and information which is really cool and something I never thought I'd get the chance to give as I have two teenage boys at home.
Having dinner with her tonight and I've gotten her the What to Expect books (updated since my time with cool new info).

Anyone else have any cool stories, thoughts, experiences with any of this?
(not just young grandmas, because what is "young" anyway?)
 

Stytch

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Nothing to add, but congrats!
 

iszevthere

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My mom was forty when she became a grandma for the first time, possibly thirty-nine. She likes kids, and our family has a long tradition of having two kids by age twenty-one, myself and a few others excluded. I can't remember times she may have given others advice per se, but she's excellent at emotional comfort and soothing over common and normal fears. I feel like in my family, it's "you're pregnant; it just happened earlier than some people think it should have. They will be rude. Let's commiserate and figure this out together."
I hope this helps, maybe?
 

frimble3

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Not a mother, so no practical experience, but yay for a January baby! You can get baby-friendly presents for Christmas (if you celebrate) and the baby will be interested and looking around when warm weather comes!
Congratulations to all!
 

Chris P

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Congrats! Being the grandparent is exciting. I say we are on the "Accelerated Plan." I became a grandpa at 33. Okay, a step grandpa: My first wife was older than me by four years. She had her first at 18, who had her first at 19, which made my wife a grandma at 37, and me a grandpa at 33. The kicker? I have had no bio-kids of my own, so people laugh when I say my kids were never little (I met their mom when they were ages 7 to 17). Then they get all confuzzled when I tell them I have five grandkids, the oldest a 14-year old girl and I'm not yet 50.

Being a young grandparent, you get to wind the little ones up with sugar and bad habits, then turn them loose on the parents. It's like being a kid again without having to pick up your own toys or getting time outs. More hearteningly, you get to bond even more with your kids by helping them through their struggles with new parenthood. I was not in the room when any of my g-kids were born, but I saw how much my wife changed and how she treated her kids with new understanding after watching the grands being born. She said "When you watch your own kid go through that, you have to think about them differently. You have to, and it's . . . wow."
 
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MinaJane

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Congratulations! :hooray:

Not a grandmother yet (my oldest son just turned 13), but I had him at 22 as well and yes, THIS:

it just happened earlier than some people think it should have. They will be rude.

It's so true, so the best advice I could give you is make sure to show her that you know she'll be a great mom. Let her do her thing, even if you would do differently and enjoy, as Chris P said, having fun and not picking up the toys :roll:
 

MadAlice

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Congratulations! :hooray:

Not a grandmother yet (my oldest son just turned 13), but I had him at 22 as well and yes, THIS:



It's so true, so the best advice I could give you is make sure to show her that you know she'll be a great mom. Let her do her thing, even if you would do differently and enjoy, as Chris P said, having fun and not picking up the toys :roll:

I got the rudeness when I was pregnant with her (at 16/17) and I've already gotten one from an acquaintance. ("That's f***ed up," while literally everyone around her was congratulating, but oh well she's not my favorite person and I don't care).

It's gonna be a new experience for all of us :)
 

EvilPenguin

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I don't have much real insight to add, but my husband comes from a long line of young grandmas. His great-grandma had his grandma when she was 19, then his grandma had his mom when she was 18, and his grandma on the other side had his dad when she was 16 and his mom and dad had him when they were 18. It was a bit of a joke in his family that they were cursed to have children when they were still teenagers (and caused his mom to panic constantly when we started dating at 17) but we're 27 now and still baby free. We are glad we've waited, because we've been able to learn how to make a relationship work without the stress of a baby (great-grandma, maternal grandma and mom did not stay with the baby-daddies, and paternal grandma and grandpa act like they hate each other's guts most of the time) but one cool thing about the long line of "young grandmas" is that my husband gets to know and spend a lot more time with his ancestors. His great-grandma is still alive and he spent A LOT of time with both sets of grandparents during his childhood. His family is a lot more connected and supportive of each other than my family is, probably because they all had to band together to raise a bunch of babies.
 

Chris P

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I got the rudeness when I was pregnant with her (at 16/17) and I've already gotten one from an acquaintance. ("That's f***ed up," while literally everyone around her was congratulating, but oh well she's not my favorite person and I don't care).

It's gonna be a new experience for all of us :)

The rudeness started even before I got married. "Why the hell would you want to raise someone else's kid? I wouldn't." and "She's been married before. Are you sure she's marriage material?" Yes, these attitudes are still with us; this was 2005-ish. Once I stopped worrying about fitting my life to "the dominant narrative" (so few people live the dominant narrative it makes me wonder how that narrative ever got dominant) and just loved them, it was a wonderful experience. Teaching them to drive, giving them a shoulder to cry on when studly football star dumped her, the excitement of new accomplishments, who cares what teenage oopsy happened a generation or two ago? There's enough love to go around and the love is no different than if it had all been done "right."
 

MadAlice

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^me too :ROFL: I didn't know how else to say it without sounding pornish. Anyway, her first ultrasound is Friday, and she happened to need a ride, and I have a ride, so yay me.