"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Puddle Jumper · May 22, 2006

I wonder what ya'll think about this phrase. "Love means never having to say you're sorry." It's a popular phrase.

My thoughts are that it works perfectly for God, because His love is perfect and therefore would never have to say, "I'm sorry." But I think it's an impossible statement for us humans. I love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. But I mess up all the time and consequently have to tell God I'm sorry. So would that phrase be saying I don't love God if I'm always having to tell Him I'm sorry?

I think I like this phrase...

"Love means knowing how to say you're sorry."

InspiredWriter · May 22, 2006

Puddle Jumper,

For me, Love means saying I'm sorry any time I say or do something to hurt the one I love (husband, child, friend, neighbor). If I didn't say I'm sorry from time to time, they might question my love. Being human, I make mistakes and relationships need to be restored, mended and healed. Saying I'm sorry is a good place to start, especially if I follow it up with actions that show I mean it!

Blessings,

Elizabeth

Pat~ · May 22, 2006

Also, I think the first response of love to Christ is to say "I'm sorry"...it comes on the heels of conviction of sin.

Puddle Jumper · May 22, 2006

I agree with you both. I think it also means meaning it when you say you're sorry.

Melisande · Jul 17, 2006

Puddle Jumper said:
I wonder what ya'll think about this phrase. "Love means never having to say you're sorry." It's a popular phrase.

My thoughts are that it works perfectly for God, because His love is perfect and therefore would never have to say, "I'm sorry." But I think it's an impossible statement for us humans. I love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. But I mess up all the time and consequently have to tell God I'm sorry. So would that phrase be saying I don't love God if I'm always having to tell Him I'm sorry?

My thoughts are these, and please excuse me if I am bad at explaining;

I do not think the phrase means that we don't have to say 'I'm sorry' because there is no need for it. I think that the deeper meaning of this phrase is that we must love so much that even if we get hurt by someone we love, we must understand, and accept the fact that no one is perfect and love them anyway. So to me, the phrase means that the person who got hurt already understands, and still loves you.

johnnysannie · Jul 17, 2006

Puddle Jumper said:
I wonder what ya'll think about this phrase. "Love means never having to say you're sorry." It's a popular phrase.

My thoughts are that it works perfectly for God, because His love is perfect and therefore would never have to say, "I'm sorry." But I think it's an impossible statement for us humans. I love God with all my heart, soul, mind and strength. But I mess up all the time and consequently have to tell God I'm sorry. So would that phrase be saying I don't love God if I'm always having to tell Him I'm sorry?

I think I like this phrase...

"Love means knowing how to say you're sorry."

It's a popular phrase because it first appeared in LOVE STORY, the novel (and later movie) by Erich Segal in which a young married couple must deal with her unexpected death from leukemia. Oliver - the hubby - tells his wife that he's sorry that they didn't have more time, sorry that she never saw Paris, etc. and Jenny (dying wife) tells him that "Love means never having to say you're sorry."

It may be a popular Christian saying now but it certainly didn't begin that way. To me, it's always meant that love means you never have to say you're sorry because your significiant other knows how you feel and that in love there should be no regrets.

Nateskate · Jul 17, 2006

This isn't a Christian saying, it's just a well intentioned saying that has bits of conventional wisdom, but also flaws.

It was actually made famous in an interview with Lorne Greene, although it was used in a movie. The conventional wisdom side implies that two people in love know each other so well, they'd know when the other felt remorse for hurting them, and would forgive without demanding to put them through hoops.

However, the practical side is that often times words become necessary in every relationship- or some form of communicating intent. Does God know when our hearts? Yes absolutely. David said, "A humble and contrite heart thou shalt not despise..." meaning God responds to the heart attitude. Still, words are important, and to use this as a blanket statement would be taking it far beyond its use.

Obviously some people wait their whole lives to hear these words, so it's best to say what we intend whenever necessary for the other to be assured of what we feel.

johnnysannie · Jul 17, 2006

Nateskate said:
This isn't a Christian saying, it's just a well intentioned saying that has bits of conventional wisdom, but also flaws.

It was actually made famous in an interview with Lorne Greene, although it was used in a movie. The conventional wisdom side implies that two people in love know each other so well, they'd know when the other felt remorse for hurting them, and would forgive without demanding to put them through hoops.

However, the practical side is that often times words become necessary in every relationship- or some form of communicating intent. Does God know when our hearts? Yes absolutely. David said, "A humble and contrite heart thou shalt not despise..." meaning God responds to the heart attitude. Still, words are important, and to use this as a blanket statement would be taking it far beyond its use.

Obviously some people wait their whole lives to hear these words, so it's best to say what we intend whenever necessary for the other to be assured of what we feel.

I don't think Lorne Greene (Ben Cartwright on "Bonanza") ever had anything to do with the saying. You may be thinking of Lorne Michaels, the producer of the movie LOVE STORY. Maybe some of the kids around here don't remember the book OR movie but I do. I read it when I was about ten - shocking for the time but then I had a progressive mother! The move BTW came out in 1970.

Roger J Carlson · Jul 18, 2006

This saying has as little to do with Christianity as another oft quoted aphorism: "The Lord helps those who help themselves." Neither has any Biblical foundation.

Personally, I prefer: "Happiness is a warm puppy."

writerterri · Jul 18, 2006

My take on it is, love is an action of good will. If your actions are always good then you never have say your sorry.

goldpeace · Jul 19, 2006

I never really understood that saying.....

I think that saying "I'm sorry" is an act of love-

We're all imperfect....and whether we offend or hurt someone intentionally or unintentionally- we should never be above being able to humble ourselves, admit that we are wrong, and offer an apology.

It's kind of like confessing our sins to God, also-
Admitting what we did, and saying that we are sorry.

Nateskate · Jul 20, 2006

johnnysannie said:
I don't think Lorne Greene (Ben Cartwright on "Bonanza") ever had anything to do with the saying. You may be thinking of Lorne Michaels, the producer of the movie LOVE STORY. Maybe some of the kids around here don't remember the book OR movie but I do. I read it when I was about ten - shocking for the time but then I had a progressive mother! The move BTW came out in 1970.

Lorne Greene was asked the question by Merv Griffeths (???) "What is love" on a very prominent national t.v show at the time, and the quote was played and replayed constantly, and Lorne Greene (Ben Cartwright) was interviewed over and over on what he meant by the statement. I believe he did more to put the phrase in the public eye than love story, because he was a national icon at the time.

johnnysannie · Jul 20, 2006

I just don't agree. I was more than old enough at the time to be cognizant of Merv Griffin (not Griffiths) and to watch the show. I also both read and saw "Love Story" at the time. The phrase's fame came from "Love Story", not from Lorne Greene. No matter what interpretation is put on the saying "Love means never having to say you're sorry", the hippie culture of the time (1970) embraced it because it fit into their love and peace platforms.

Lorne Greene may have been asked about it - although I cannot fathom WHY he would be and he would not have been a Christian spin on the saying because he was Jewish.

I'd also have to debate his reputation as an icon. He was a popular actor and loved by many but I wouldn't call him an icon. Elvis was an icon. The Beatles were an icon.

Nateskate · Jul 20, 2006

johnnysannie said:
I just don't agree. I was more than old enough at the time to be cognizant of Merv Griffin (not Griffiths) and to watch the show. I also both read and saw "Love Story" at the time. The phrase's fame came from "Love Story", not from Lorne Greene. No matter what interpretation is put on the saying "Love means never having to say you're sorry", the hippie culture of the time (1970) embraced it because it fit into their love and peace platforms.

Lorne Greene may have been asked about it - although I cannot fathom WHY he would be and he would not have been a Christian spin on the saying because he was Jewish.

I'd also have to debate his reputation as an icon. He was a popular actor and loved by many but I wouldn't call him an icon. Elvis was an icon. The Beatles were an icon.

It had nothing to do with Christianity and I don't know where this became attached to Christianity? At any point, its not a winnable argument, so I'll let it pass.

johnnysannie · Jul 20, 2006

Is this an argument? I wasn't aware of that. I thought it was an exchange of information on a public writers forum.

As for how did Christianity get involved, well, this thread is in the "Religious and Spiritual Writing" area for Christian writing. And, the original poster seemed to feel that the saying was some kind of Christian mantra.

My posts are not about win or lose, just the facts. One flaw in the Internet - a medium that I dearly love and utilize daily - is the huge amounts of misinformation that are scattered across it daily because there are no real checks and balances. Few bother to look up facts but instead just spout something they've read or heard.

davids · Jul 20, 2006

It means you love your honey so much that you always lift up the toilet seat-sorry!

johnnysannie · Jul 20, 2006

davids said:
It means you love your honey so much that you always lift up the toilet seat-sorry!

There's a placque that can be hung over the commode that says it better:
"My aim is to keep this bathroom clean: Your aim will help!"

Shadow_Ferret · Jul 20, 2006

I always thought the expression was "Bestiality means never having to say you're sorry."

OK. Sorry. No need to show me the door, I'll leave on my own.

HoosierCowgirl · Jul 20, 2006

I thought the expression came from the "Love Is ..." set of comics but I must be wrong as well as showing my age.

I find myself saying "I'm sorry" most often to the ones I love most -- we're around each other and there's a high probability of offenses and hurt feelings.

Ann

C. L. Richardson · Jul 27, 2006

I think I like this phrase...

"Love means knowing how to say you're sorry."

Amen!

sassandgroove · Jul 27, 2006

I posted in this in June... Everything I posted in June was brilliant, BTW (unless it's been retreived, then it is just OK.)

I don't exactly remember what I posted, but man, I say it all the time to HUBBY.

I think a better attitude would be meaning it when you say you are sorry, and endeavoring to not repeat the offense. And on the flipside, accepting the apology with grace and moving on.

When I taught preschool, I had a kid , Devin* who would repeatedly hit other kids, but mostly the boys he played with most. (??)
"Devin, why did you hit Tristan*, again?" "I said sorry."
I had the hardest time getting him to understand that even though he said sorry, Tristan's arm still hurt, and it is better not to hit in the first place. Saying you are sorry doesn't always fix things. Not doing it again is a path to fixing things.

*Those aren't the kids real names.

"Love means never having to say you're sorry."

Puddle Jumper

InspiredWriter

Pat~

Luftmensch Emeritus, A.D.D.

Puddle Jumper

Melisande

johnnysannie

Nateskate

johnnysannie

Roger J Carlson

Moderator In Name Only

writerterri

It's a dorky day!

goldpeace

Nateskate

johnnysannie

Nateskate

johnnysannie

davids

johnnysannie

Shadow_Ferret

Court Jester

HoosierCowgirl

C. L. Richardson

sassandgroove

Sassy haircut