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Benedetto Youssef
09-04-2018, 10:55 PM
Sentence A: The door to his room was ajar, the sound of rummaging, accompanied by the occasional shuffling of furniture coming from within.

Sentence B: The door to his room was ajar, the sound of rummaging, accompanied by the occasional shuffling of furniture, coming from within.

Are both of these sentences grammatically correct, and is it only stylistic as to the omission of the third comma in sentence B?

Thank you!

blacbird
09-05-2018, 02:23 AM
The first sentence has a major flaw. Leaving out the last comma makes it read like the furniture was coming from within.

But beyond that, neither example is particularly good from a style standpoint, IMO. As a reader, I'd prefer two separate sentences and elimination of superfluous words:

The door to his room was ajar. The sound of rummaging and shuffling of furniture came from within.

Tagging on participial clauses often leads to flabby, drifty prose.

caw

Chase
09-05-2018, 04:39 AM
As a reader, I'd prefer two separate sentences and elimination of superfluous words:

The door to his room was ajar. The sound of rummaging and shuffling of furniture came from within.

I agree with the dark bird.

BethS
09-11-2018, 04:06 PM
Sentence A: The door to his room was ajar, the sound of rummaging, accompanied by the occasional shuffling of furniture coming from within.

Sentence B: The door to his room was ajar, the sound of rummaging, accompanied by the occasional shuffling of furniture, coming from within.

Are both of these sentences grammatically correct, and is it only stylistic as to the omission of the third comma in sentence B?

Thank you!

You need that third comma to make it technically correct. The phrase "accompanied by the occasional shuffling of furniture" needs to be set off by commas.

But at the same time, it's a bit clunky and wordy. You can rewrite to smooth it out, I'm sure.

BurntPieCrust
10-01-2018, 07:29 PM
To answer the question: if a separate idea is being outlined with commas like above, it should have commas on both sides.

To be more specific: I generally rewrite my sentences if I'm having to challenge myself in the grammar. If I'm having a hard time figuring out if something is grammatically correct, I assume my reader will have the same problem.

DanielSTJ
10-06-2018, 10:21 PM
I like blackbird's idea of separating it into separate sentences.