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View Full Version : Seeking Beta or Swap for Literary Fiction (~20k words)



rainbowsheeps
08-24-2018, 07:27 AM
Hey there. I'm currently rewriting a novel from the ground up, and I'm hoping for some feedback to see if it's coalescing so far. I have about 20k so far (~7 chapters, 70 pages). I'm definitely willing to swap for the start of someone else's novel too to trade feedback. If anyone's interested, please do let me know! If we do swap, I'd likely return the feedback relatively fast. I don't necessarily need line-by-line edits on mine, either, but an overall impression of what works, and what doesn't, and how the story feels, etc.

An early draft of the query letter is below.

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Adam, nineteen, is released from the hospital after a failed suicide attempt. At home, he canít seem to reconcile with his distraught parents or the five-year-old sister who found him bleeding on the floor. Heís forced into therapy with Dr. Richard White Ė a younger and more compassionate psychologist than the one Adam had pictured. Together, they aggressively explore Adamís depression and his trauma from a deadly fire that fragmented his family long ago.

In the waiting room, though, Adam meets Cherith Ė a punky teenage girl. Against Richardís advice, they begin to date and Adam feels happy for the first time in as long as he can remember. Even when Cherith tells him she has cancer, Adam promises to stay with her, always. But on Valentineís night, Cherith faints during a roller coaster ride and everything changes. Adamís storm of emotions manifest in vivid visions of a crow carrying a beating human heart, an amusement park made entirely of shimmering light, or the image of Cheri and him dancing under the violet skies in the swaying red grass blades of heaven.

Adam desperately wants to believe these images are showing him a path to some afterlife where Cheri and he can be together forever. But Richard might be Adamís only hope of finding a healthy means of coping with his pain.