- Joined
- Nov 6, 2017
- Messages
- 309
- Reaction score
- 56
I've swapped with betas to give more in-depth analysis feedback--line-by-line.
This time, I'm looking for more of a general feel/edit read. Read through a few chapters the way you would a normal book, and provide gut feedback, and when applicable, point out weird phrasing and such (because I'm fantastic at writing weird phrases, that my betas dub, "nick-ism."
) . This is because beta usually takes awhile, and I feel talking back and forth with the reader may provide too much insight, swaying how the book may come across without author intrusion! 
So! If you're interesting in beta-ing my book, please let me know! And if you'd like to swap, I am down with that, too. I'm willing to do an in-depth read of your book, or a quick one like the one I'm looking for.
Here's my current query for the book, LONELIGHT (still working on these damn things...):
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Seventeen-year-old Avery Wells wonders what it would be like to start the world over. To go back before his parents were murdered. Before the only way to dull the growl in his little brother’s stomach is to beg for food in the streets of Anabasis. He’s about to get that power, but not in the way he imagines. Or wants.
When Avery first meets with a deity known as the Lonelight, he thinks the deity invites him to play a game of magic that will return his parents. But the truth comes out: the Lonelight’s game will destroy everyone, sparing the winning team and their city-state that defeats the others, allowing them to start the world anew. With abilities given to Avery, there isn’t a doubt in his mind that he will kill the other players to secure his little brother’s survival. Until he spends a romantic night under the rain with a blind boy from the other team.
Avery weighing lives culminates when he discovers an enchanted spear that turns cities into a dark wasteland with a bright explosion.
The burden of the new weapon collapses him—bile drips from his lips from the mere thought of using it. If he does, victory is almost certain. He sets his gaze upon the city of light where the blind boy lives. He grips the spear. Avery knows whatever choice he makes, he will endure the consequences. Everyone will. In ways worse than death.
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For my story, I aimed to mix what I love about action adventure (the cool set pieces, the unique power creations like summoning exploding plants), what I love about twisty plots that don't let you breathe for too long, and what I love about the psychology of humanity and their struggle to define what they view as wrong and right for the world. All wrapped up in a structure where the story gives you pieces of a puzzle each chapter, until the very end where it finally clicks. But more importantly, it's the type of book where if you read it a second time, you'll notice so many things in each chapter that lines up, that you didn't notice before (I love those kinds of plots.)
This time, I'm looking for more of a general feel/edit read. Read through a few chapters the way you would a normal book, and provide gut feedback, and when applicable, point out weird phrasing and such (because I'm fantastic at writing weird phrases, that my betas dub, "nick-ism."
) . This is because beta usually takes awhile, and I feel talking back and forth with the reader may provide too much insight, swaying how the book may come across without author intrusion! So! If you're interesting in beta-ing my book, please let me know! And if you'd like to swap, I am down with that, too. I'm willing to do an in-depth read of your book, or a quick one like the one I'm looking for.
Here's my current query for the book, LONELIGHT (still working on these damn things...):
---
Seventeen-year-old Avery Wells wonders what it would be like to start the world over. To go back before his parents were murdered. Before the only way to dull the growl in his little brother’s stomach is to beg for food in the streets of Anabasis. He’s about to get that power, but not in the way he imagines. Or wants.
When Avery first meets with a deity known as the Lonelight, he thinks the deity invites him to play a game of magic that will return his parents. But the truth comes out: the Lonelight’s game will destroy everyone, sparing the winning team and their city-state that defeats the others, allowing them to start the world anew. With abilities given to Avery, there isn’t a doubt in his mind that he will kill the other players to secure his little brother’s survival. Until he spends a romantic night under the rain with a blind boy from the other team.
Avery weighing lives culminates when he discovers an enchanted spear that turns cities into a dark wasteland with a bright explosion.
The burden of the new weapon collapses him—bile drips from his lips from the mere thought of using it. If he does, victory is almost certain. He sets his gaze upon the city of light where the blind boy lives. He grips the spear. Avery knows whatever choice he makes, he will endure the consequences. Everyone will. In ways worse than death.
---
For my story, I aimed to mix what I love about action adventure (the cool set pieces, the unique power creations like summoning exploding plants), what I love about twisty plots that don't let you breathe for too long, and what I love about the psychology of humanity and their struggle to define what they view as wrong and right for the world. All wrapped up in a structure where the story gives you pieces of a puzzle each chapter, until the very end where it finally clicks. But more importantly, it's the type of book where if you read it a second time, you'll notice so many things in each chapter that lines up, that you didn't notice before (I love those kinds of plots.)
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