A couple of verses for you...
Dear Denise,
I am sorry your son died and left you with unanswered questions and disquietude. I lost a friend last year to suicide and wrestled with the question of his salvation pretty extensively.
In my friend's case, I know exactly where he is: safe at last in the arms of Jesus! My friend was in so much emotional and physical torment that he could not receive the love so many offered him. He was a believer in Jesus and left a simple note that read: May God have mercy on me. I believe that throughout scripture, God reveals that he is a God of justice and mercy, but His mercy supercedes his absolute justice in that He took the penalty for all sin upon himself, providing for us the mercy we cannot live without.
I hope that the following scriptures bring you some measure of comfort and peace. I also hope that you will find safety in Jesus, the Comforter of our souls who loves you and wants to hold you through this painful, perplexing and horrible time, that you may come through it stronger and wiser and more dependent upon the God who loves you!
Romans 8:31-39 31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.
10:28 I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand. John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Romans 10:13 "Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved." With my Sympathy and prayers,
Elizabeth