Querying Concern

JackTorrance · Dec 5, 2017

I have a concern about the querying process.

I have a YA fantasy novel that I have started to query and have received a few rejections so far. No big deal; I am familiar with submissions and rejections across different industries.

However, I am little perturbed that readers and agents will never see my novel for what it is because most submission guidelines specify only the first 5-10 pages. My novel includes journal entries of the antagonist, diary entries of one of the protagonists, news articles, and obituaries. All these vary up the point of view and really bring the readers in on an intimate level with all the characters: their backstories, motivation, etc. Problem is that none of that occurs in the first 10 pages. Aaaaargh! So frustrating.

Now, I know what you are going to say: "Start off with a bang ... Bring the reader in over the first few pages ... Show us everything in the first few paragraphs," yadda, yadda, yadda. Problem is, I can't do that because the plot structure is based around starting in medias res and then backstory is told using the devices I mentioned above (combined with good old-fashioned narration) over the course of a relatively fast moving plot. The reader just doesn't get to the heart of the "story" immediately.

So my question is: Can I somehow specify this in the query letter? Or would that be frowned upon? Otherwise, readers and agents will be reading the first 5-10 pages, which are mostly plot-driven, and likely thinking the story is flat or not layered enough. But it is! Again, sooooooo frustrating.

Or maybe I should only be looking to submit to agents that request the first 3 chapters or first 50 pages, instead of those that just want the first 5-10?

What do you all think? Thanks for any tips.

Aggy B. · Dec 5, 2017

That's called "epistolary" narrative. Some novels are told in their entirety using letters, newspaper clippings, diary entries, etc. If you are using it in conjunction with more standard forms of narrative, I would suggest working it into the "I'm seeking representation for my Fantasy novel, The Magic of Cheese, complete at... blah, blah, blah." You'll need to experiment with a couple different structures probably to find the one that reads best.

On a side note, even if you feel that the epistolary content is the real hook, I would strongly consider what those first 5-10 pages are doing if they aren't hooking the reader. (And I'm not saying, move the other content up, but the 'conventional' narrative has to hook and compel and propel the reader through the book the same as the rest of it or folks will be bored and frustrated.) If they aren't as "interesting" - by whatever metric of interesting you're using - as the rest, then you have a problem on your hands.

Best of luck with your query process.

Cyia · Dec 5, 2017

Is it an epistolary novel? Putting that in the query would get the structure across.

Or is it something more like World War Z, with the documents and such forming the bulk of the narrative? In this case saying "structured like World War Z (or other similar novel of your preference) where the narrative is shown through connected articles, documents, letters and journal entries," might be the way to go.

lizmonster · Dec 5, 2017

I'm not an agent, so take all this with a grain of salt.

First of all: how many rejections is "a few"? Two? Ten? Fifty? In general "a few" rejections aren't indicative of the quality of your work. Agents are subjective people and can reject for all sorts of reasons, including "this is fine but it's not my thing."

Second: It's possible that it's your query letter that's the problem, and these agents aren't bothering to read the included pages at all. I'd suggest participating around the forums and getting to your 50 posts, and then posting your query letter in QLH for the squirrels to have at it. (AW squirrels are awesome.)

Third: I've not read your work, so this is presented only as a possibility, and not intended as a critique, but: it's very possible your initial pages are insufficiently engaging. The structure you're describing seems like it would be perfectly workable narratively, but it still has to hook the reader. 5-10 pages isn't enough for an agent to get into much of anything, story-wise; I'd assume they look at the short sample to get an idea of how your prose flows, rather than expecting to see much about the guts of the plot.

If you want some outside opinions, consider posting your opening pages in Share Your Work. You won't get a consensus, but you'll get a lot of feedback, and might find yourself seeing some things you could change.

Siri Kirpal · Dec 5, 2017

Sat Nam! (literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

Note, you'll need 50 posts to post your own work in Share Your Work. Password is vista. You can go into the relevant sections of SYW now and comment on other people's writing. You might also look at Query Letter Hell, also in Share Your Work, and read what other people say about the posted queries. Again, you'll 50 posts to post your own query should you choose to do that.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

Toothpaste · Dec 5, 2017

I'm a bit confused. Most beginnings of books don't give you backstory, context, world building in the first 5 pages either. In fact so many people advise away from doing such info dumps because it can be seriously boring for the reader. Just drop in on any debate here about prologues and ooh boy

.

My point is, obviously any agent knows that reading the first 5 - 10 pages won't tell them everything about the background of the characters, the world, motivations etc. What they do tell an agent is if the book compels them to read more. If they are drawn to the characters. If the writing is any good, or at least the kind of writing they enjoy. Is the voice of the book compelling? etc etc and so forth. You don't need those first few pages to tell your entire novel or explain in detail what it will be about. You just need them to be compelling. You just need an agent to finish them and go, "Wait that's it?? I need the rest ASAP!"

So in conclusion: don't worry about it. Now, that being said, if it is an epistolary novel you probably should mention it just because that's a genre type and it helps an agent quickly and easily understand the game plan. Also if they want to rep such a work in the first place (some may not, but some may find it extra exciting).

JackTorrance · Dec 5, 2017

Thank you, everyone, for your advice.

I don't believe my writing in those first 10 pages to be poor, or the ratio of backstory-to-plot to be off-kilter in either direction. There is no infodumping or narrative tangents.

And by a few rejections, I mean exactly two. So, like I said, not too worried. But of course, I want to adjust going forward to give myself a better chance at success.

I believe stressing the epistolary qualities of the novel in the query letter might be the ticket. (Thanks, Aggy)

I guess some query letter tweaking is in order to give the readers/agents a better idea of what my novel is, structurally and stylistically. Because as is, I'm betting most would think, from my sample pages, that it's nothing more than a third-person, plot-driven novel (which it's not).

Thanks, all.

mpack · Dec 6, 2017

JackTorrance said:
Thank you, everyone, for your advice.

I don't believe my writing in those first 10 pages to be poor, or the ratio of backstory-to-plot to be off-kilter in either direction. There is no infodumping or narrative tangents.

Have you had anyone beta read those first pages? A critique might give you some indication of the problem agents see (if they see any. Two rejections is a tiny sample.)

Curlz · Dec 6, 2017

JackTorrance said:
Now, I know what you are going to say: "Start off with a bang ... Bring the reader in over the first few pages ...

Not really. A lot of books start slow. Those sample pages are there to demonstrate that you can write without making obvious mistakes and that you can hold the reader's attention. There are various ways to keep the reader engaged and "the bang" is only one of them. There is enough space in the query to explain how your story is totally enticing and the plot contains "bangs", or bongos, or battletoads that will grab the reader and take them on a wild ride. But those 10 pages shouldn't make the reader want to put the book down and stop caring about what happens further.
In the query you can absolutely include an explanation about how the novel is structured, Cyia has some great suggestions in #3.

CaroGirl · Dec 6, 2017

Make sure you follow all the rules and guidelines that are set forth by agents and publishers on the submissions page of their websites. Many agents get hundreds of queries a week, and it's too easy for them to weed out the outliers who don't follow rules. There are too many great submissions that DO follow the rules for them to care whether they reject yours.

How you WANT to stand out is by writing a compelling query and submission sample. There's no formula for this. It's an X-factor kind of thing. But getting eyes on your work prior to submission can help. Ask people to review your query and submission pages to see if they're honestly compelled to read the book. Depending on your genre, you don't necessarily need a BIG BANG in the first 10 pages. You need to have great (error-free!) writing, a strong narrative voice, and a character or two that the reader cares about.

In your specific case, I agree with including the epistolary nature of the structure in the query letter. The pages don't need to include this element, but they do need to have compelling writing/plot/characters. Easy-peasy (not!).

Best of luck!

JackTorrance · Dec 18, 2017

Update for you folks:

I modified my query letter and got my first manuscript request (a partial).

It'll probably get a pass, but progress has been made.

Thanks again, everyone.

Second update:

Got a second partial request a few days after the first.

Maybe a coincidence, but I tend to think not. I think the query letter change had a hand in it.

Querying Concern

JackTorrance

Aggy B.

Not as sweet as you think

Cyia

Rewriting My Destiny

lizmonster

Possibly A Mermaid Queen

Siri Kirpal

Swan in Process

Toothpaste

THE RECKLESS RESCUE is out now!

JackTorrance

mpack

Swooping is bad.

Curlz

cutsie-pie

CaroGirl

Living the dream

JackTorrance