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View Full Version : What's the proper etiquette for this?



Bongo
10-27-2017, 08:40 PM
And should I even bother, or just let it go?

I came across a blogger, by accident, that referenced my book as a book that has helped her in her struggles. I have no connection to her, and was wondering if I could or should reach out, share her blog, ask her if she'd like a guest blog (I don't do a whole lot of blogging, but should probably start)?

Is this something I should try to capitalize on for promotional purposes, or is it best to just leave it alone and be thankful that my book has helped someone?

Curlz
10-27-2017, 09:13 PM
Definitely reach out, be nice and don't mention "capitalizing for promotional purposes" ;) I'd assume people who blog like to communicate and like to hear feedback - you read their blog, that's a good start. Besides, who wouldn't be happy to get personal attention from the author of a book they enjoyed :e2cheer:Maybe they'll let you put a quote on the page where your book is sold. Or do the guest blog thing. They've probably already told all their friends about that amazing book, so I'm not sure how much you can "capitalize" on them mentioning you again. But it may be beneficial for future sales if you can quote them on your webpage. A potential reader would pay attention to that sort of things.
:Sun:

Bongo
10-27-2017, 09:44 PM
:) I knew I had to be careful about that word "capitalize." :)

Arpeggio
10-27-2017, 11:47 PM
https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/epicrapbattlesofhistory/images/a/a9/Arnold_Schwarzenegger_do_it_now_meme.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20140503022504

mccardey
10-27-2017, 11:56 PM
Is she a book-blogger? If not, I wouldn't. I think it oversteps a line in the relationship. I think just stick a little bookmark somewhere, and come back and see her comments when you need some quiet affirmation.

Just my 2c.

MikeL
11-19-2017, 03:45 AM
Perhaps a quick note to say, "Thanks for the mention in your blog, glad you liked my book." would be most appropriate.

If no response is forthcoming leave it at that. If the blogger replies, maybe consider asking for a quote to put in an adverting blurb along with a link back to the blog could be worked out.

Most will admit that 'networking on the net' is the primary method of getting the word out, and it advice given by every internet marketing book I've read. No exceptions. Just don't be obsequious about it.

Helix
11-19-2017, 04:49 AM
Perhaps a quick note to say, "Thanks for the mention in your blog, glad you liked my book." would be most appropriate.

If no response is forthcoming leave it at that. If the blogger replies, maybe consider asking for a quote to put in an adverting blurb along with a link back to the blog could be worked out.

Most will admit that 'networking on the net' is the primary method of getting the word out, and it advice given by every internet marketing book I've read. No exceptions. Just don't be obsequious about it.

More importantly, don't be creepy and needy about it, especially if the context of the original mention is the book helping the blogger "in her struggles".

mccardey
11-19-2017, 05:02 AM
Most will admit that 'networking on the net' is the primary method of getting the word out, and it advice given by every internet marketing book I've read. No exceptions. Just don't be obsequious about it.

Hmmm. Not the best place to start from, I think. This blogger is not there to sell books.

MaeZe
11-19-2017, 05:13 AM
Perhaps a quick note to say, "Thanks for the mention in your blog, glad you liked my book." would be most appropriate. ....This is my reaction, with zero promo-motivation in mind. She mentioned the book publicly so replying shouldn't be a privacy issue. Maybe people know something I don't? ???

mccardey
11-19-2017, 05:24 AM
This is my reaction, with zero promo-motivation in mind. She mentioned the book publicly so replying shouldn't be a privacy issue. Maybe people know something I don't? ???I don't know if it's a general thing, but for me - if I mentioned a book on my blog I'd feel very invaded by a response from the writer. It would make me feel I had to second-guess my blog-posts because there might be a writer reading.

Writers write, readers read, bloggers blog. But more importantly, as the OP says, the book
has helped her in her struggles. That says tread extra-carefully to me. Certainly don't try to exploit it by
networking on the net That just seems tacky. If someone is struggling and you've helped them - be glad you've helped them. And leave them alone.

Helix
11-19-2017, 05:28 AM
This is my reaction, with zero promo-motivation in mind. She mentioned the book publicly so replying shouldn't be a privacy issue. Maybe people know something I don't? ???

My 2c --> Don't respond to reviews of a crime novel. Don't respond to reviews of a poetry anthology. Especially don't respond to reviews of a self-help book about mental health.

Whether the author finds a reference by accident or design*, responding comes across somewhere between inadvertently stepping over a boundary and stalking.

* And how can the blogger tell the difference?

MaeZe
11-19-2017, 05:35 AM
[Ponders things I hadn't thought of. Appreciates forum.]

Old Hack
11-19-2017, 01:09 PM
The only really effective way to use the internet to market and promote your book is to engage properly with people, to form relationships with them, and to foster discussion and interest in all sorts of things--not just your books. In fact, if you spend much time actively mentioning your books and trying to make people buy them, you're likely to put people off buying anything of yours, and have the opposite effect to the one you were hoping for.

Trying to capitalise on random people finding your book useful is not a good idea.

Remember that people selling books on how to use the internet to market things are trying to sell their books, first and foremost, and that their advice isn't always going to be effective.

MikeL
11-19-2017, 06:52 PM
The OP did not give the impression the comments on the book were a review, so the etiquette concerning reviews plays no part in the considerations except as an excuse to find fault somewhere. On the other hand, if the blog referenced is primarily book reviews, this paragraph is moot.

Blogs are out there to be read just as novels and non-fiction books are out there to be read. Blog writers, simply by writing a blog, invite engagement from their readers just as book writers do.

There is nothing inherently wrong asking for help from some one who helped you. Here's a personal experience that might be easier for some to understand the concept:

Last July I suffered a heart attack and had some major repairs done and some new parts installed. In September I wrote several letters thanking the EMT's, hospital staff, and two other organizations-strangers, all-for their parts in keeping me alive. I've received thank you notes from each organization I wrote to. Last week I received a request for a cash donation from one of the organizations. I am not offended by, surprised, or creeped-out, at the responses my thank-you's received.

A writer who thanks a blogger for a positive comment on their book is no different from the blogger who thanks a writer for her/his book. Neither is different from a person who thanks doctors and nurses for saving his life. A response is always appropriate.

For those who write blogs and fear engagement with readers and strangers - considering a new hobby could be beneficial to you.

Saying, "Thank you" is not a crime, or even tacky or creepy. It is a social necessity. Helping others and being helped by others is part of life; ask your family, friends, and the stranger you opened the door for last week.

Old Hack
11-19-2017, 08:34 PM
The OP wasn't talking about saying thank you to the blogger, though. The OP was asking if they could "capitalize on for promotional purposes" on this blogger mentioning that this self-help book had helped with their struggles.

Ari Meermans
11-19-2017, 08:55 PM
The only really effective way to use the internet to market and promote your book is to engage properly with people, to form relationships with them, and to foster discussion and interest in all sorts of things--not just your books. In fact, if you spend much time actively mentioning your books and trying to make people buy them, you're likely to put people off buying anything of yours, and have the opposite effect to the one you were hoping for.

Trying to capitalise on random people finding your book useful is not a good idea.

Remember that people selling books on how to use the internet to market things are trying to sell their books, first and foremost, and that their advice isn't always going to be effective.

Quoting OH for emphasis.

Bongo, you say you came across the blog post accidentally. It was not meant for you. Print out the blog post and put it up on your "Squee Board" for when you need a lift . . . and just feel good that your book helped someone.

pdichellis
11-19-2017, 10:15 PM
Interesting dilemma.

When a book blogger or mystery/crime blogger mentions a publication that includes one of my stories, I often leave a comment thanking them. Those folks have a lot of choices in the material they decide to cover.

It sounds like the blog the OP mentioned was more personal, but if the blog included a comment stream I would consider thanking the blogger there, unless the specific post and issue seemed too personal. I would not find it strange that an author discovered mentions of his/her work on the net.

Old Hack
11-20-2017, 12:29 AM
When book bloggers mention your book it's fine--great, in fact, under many circumstances--to thank them.

When other people mention your book, especially when they do so in relation to struggles they've been having, you have to be more careful.

When those other people mention your book it is entirely inappropriate to hope to use their blog post to "capitalize on for promotional purposes".

I do not understand why so many people are finding this hard to grasp.

mccardey
11-20-2017, 01:03 AM
For those who write blogs and fear engagement with readers and strangers - considering a new hobby could be beneficial to you. I'm fine, but thanks for your concern. :Sun:

The Otter
11-20-2017, 01:38 AM
I don't know if it's a general thing, but for me - if I mentioned a book on my blog I'd feel very invaded by a response from the writer. It would make me feel I had to second-guess my blog-posts because there might be a writer reading.

If it's a personal blog that's mainly about the person's own life and the book just happened to be mentioned in passing, I'd agree.

If it's a book reviewer blog...well, of course writers are going to read it. But I'm getting the impression that's not the case here.

mccardey
11-20-2017, 01:40 AM
If it's a personal blog that's mainly about the person's own life and the book just happened to be mentioned in passing, I'd agree.

If it's a book reviewer blog...well, of course writers are going to read it. But I'm getting the impression that's not the case here.Yes, I made that point in my first response

MikeL
11-20-2017, 04:10 AM
The OP wasn't talking about saying thank you to the blogger, though. The OP was asking if they could "capitalize on for promotional purposes" on this blogger mentioning that this self-help book had helped with their struggles.

And the answer is Yes, he can without embarassment.

I can see, thought, your opinion- you obviously have never needed, wanted, or asked for help. Right?

Yes, you ARE a nasty woman of the worst kind,.

AW Admin
11-20-2017, 04:13 AM
And the answer is Yes, he can without embarassment.

I can see, thought, your opinion- you obviously have never needed, wanted, or asked for help. Right?

Yes, you ARE a nasty woman of the worst kind,.

Get off my server.

AW Admin
11-20-2017, 04:20 AM
Just as a general reminder to newer members; you can engage with a modicum of civility or you can go away.

We mean it when we say respect your fellow writer (http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?66315-Newbie-Guide!).

Fallen
11-21-2017, 11:38 AM
I keep to the golden rule: if they contact you explicitly to say something, thank them, but if they don't, it's not meant for you to comment on. On the flip side, there are times I want to talk books and authors, but it's between friends and not intended for anything beyond that. Facebook is lovely for that because I can either tag authors, or mention names and not tag them. There are some novels I absolutely love and will talk about over and over again, so tagging gets uncomfortable.

ebbrown
11-22-2017, 01:33 AM
Is she a book-blogger? If not, I wouldn't. I think it oversteps a line in the relationship. I think just stick a little bookmark somewhere, and come back and see her comments when you need some quiet affirmation.

Just my 2c.

Agree^^

I'd think fondly on that time that your work affected a reader in such a poignant way, then simply move on.

Bongo
11-23-2017, 06:34 AM
I don't know if it's a general thing, but for me - if I mentioned a book on my blog I'd feel very invaded by a response from the writer. It would make me feel I had to second-guess my blog-posts because there might be a writer reading.

Writers write, readers read, bloggers blog. But more importantly, as the OP says, the book That says tread extra-carefully to me. Certainly don't try to exploit it by That just seems tacky. If someone is struggling and you've helped them - be glad you've helped them. And leave them alone.

Haven't been here in a while so I just saw this. Those are pretty much my feelings after thinking this through a bit. I never contacted her.