Successful query and manuscript requested, but there's a problem

Loke1997 · Oct 3, 2017

I'm not sure where this should go, so please go ahead and move this or whatever if it's in the wrong place!

I'm very happy to say that an agent asked for my entire manuscript! There's one small problem, however. This is hard to explain, so I'll do it in bullet points.

-Late August: submit query to agent with sample of 'Final v1'.
-Mid-September: Start thinking book is terrible --> Write in new character, add 15,000 words to book
-Late-September:Realise first three chapters (sample chapters) are the most important --> Overhaul these --> End up with final v2
-Just now:Get request for Final v1
-Final v2 >> Final v1 (Much more complex story, stronger voice, more engaging intro, more words [60,000 compared to 45,000])
-But the agent is expecting Final v1

Will the agent think I tried to sell them an incomplete book, and reject my submission if I give them v2? Currently, I'm thinking the best thing to do is give them both versions, explain the situation and explain why I think v2 is better. I think if I submit v1, there's no way in hell they'll want to work with me on it, because it's that much worse than v2.

Any advice on how to deal with this, or insight as to how an agent might react?

Esmae Tyler · Oct 3, 2017

Congratulations on the request!

I'm not an agent, nor have I yet made it into the query stages, so all I can offer is a referral to the QueryShark herself: http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2014/10/query-question-revising-novel-when-on.html - the take home point from that is that it's in both your best interests to send what you think is the better version. Just tell the agent you've done some revising in the meantime, and take heart from the knowledge that they asked for a full based on the inferior iteration.

Loke1997 · Oct 3, 2017

Esmae Tyler said:
Congratulations on the request!

I'm not an agent, nor have I yet made it into the query stages, so all I can offer is a referral to the QueryShark herself: http://jetreidliterary.blogspot.com/2014/10/query-question-revising-novel-when-on.html - the take home point from that is that it's in both your best interests to send what you think is the better version. Just tell the agent you've done some revising in the meantime, and take heart from the knowledge that they asked for a full based on the inferior iteration.

Thank you so much!

Loke1997 · Oct 3, 2017

I have one more question if anyone's able to answer--the agent's response was this:

Thank you for your submission and your patience as we reviewed it. We are interested in taking a look at a more of your materials. Please send along the full manuscript as an attached Microsoft word document, and we will get back to you within three weeks.

My main selling point is I'm a graphic designer and have incorporated that into a final design of the book as a PDF file. I did include the basic manuscript as a word file, but would it be okay to share my vision of the final product (including illustrations), or would that turn them off? They said 'we are interested in taking a look at more of your materials,' so does this mean additional things as well?

Ari Meermans · Oct 3, 2017

Send exactly what the agent requested: your full manuscript as a Microsoft word document as an attachment to your email.

Your email subject line should read: [name of book] Requested Full Manuscript

Address the email to the agent who responded to your submission. Keep your email short. Tell him/her that you have attached the manuscript as a Microsoft word document as requested. Then (as a brief reminder) tell the agent that you are reviewing other work which best matches their interests and needs and will be sending that material as requested. You may, if you like, thank them for their further interest in your work. Sign off on the email in a professional manner.

NO, now is not the time to share your vision of your work. When the agent makes an offer of representation and schedules that first one-on-one contact (usually a phone call), be completely prepared to discuss your manuscript, their vision for the book, then your own . . . maybe. There are other things to discuss at the time of this contact, as well, and you'll want to be prepared also to discuss matters such as expected frequency of contact between you two, whether the agent already has editors in mind who are looking for work like yours, and other things you will need to know as a client. Keep in mind that the agent may already have ideas for revision and you may or may not cover that in this first call. Depends.

hth

Loke1997 · Oct 3, 2017

Ari Meermans said:
Send exactly what the agent requested: your full manuscript as a Microsoft word document as an attachment to your email.

Your email subject line should read: [name of book] Requested Full Manuscript

Address the email to the agent who responded to your submission. Keep your email short. Tell him/her that you have attached the manuscript as a Microsoft word document as requested. Then (as a brief reminder) tell the agent that you are reviewing other work which best matches their interests and needs and will be sending that material as requested. You may, if you like, thank them for their further interest in your work. Sign off on the email in a professional manner.

NO, now is not the time to share your vision of your work. When the agent makes an offer of representation and schedules that first one-on-one contact (usually a phone call), be completely prepared to discuss your manuscript, their vision for the book, then your own . . . maybe. There are other things to discuss at the time of this contact, as well, and you'll want to be prepared also to discuss matters such as expected frequency of contact between you two, whether the agent already has editors in mind who are looking for work like yours, and other things you will need to know as a client. Keep in mind that the agent may already have ideas for revision and you may or may not cover that in this first call. Depends.

hth

Thank you! So just to be clear, send only revised version of manuscript or the original?

Ari Meermans · Oct 3, 2017

Are you absolutely sure version 2 is your final for querying purposes? And did you read agent Janet Reid's blog post on this subject (the link Esmae Tyler provided)? Particularly this part:

I'm revising right now (I thought the novel was done!) and I plan to have it finished on X date. I will send it then unless you tell me otherwise. Thanks again for your interest. I look forward to sending you my novel." Of course you put this in your own deathless prose. Remember to keep it SHORT. No more than 30 words total.

The thing to avoid here is a long period of silence. If I request a full, I pretty much expect to hear back promptly. That's because mostly I DO hear back promptly, not because it's critical to the submission process.

Keep in mind agents are individuals and have their own preferences. Fact is, by not waiting to query until you had done everything possible to have your manuscript complete and polished to a high sheen, you now run the risk of a pass. BUT, it's the agent's call. As Ms. Reid stated, the last thing you want to do is drag your heels right now. Send the requesting agent an email and let her/him know that the novel has undergone revision making it a stronger novel since you queried. Tell the agent you will send them the revised version unless they tell you otherwise, just as Ms. Reid stated in the quote above. Again, let it be the agent's call and send them exactly what they request.

Fingers crossed for you and best of luck.

Loke1997 · Oct 4, 2017

Ari Meermans said:
Are you absolutely sure version 2 is your final for querying purposes? And did you read agent Janet Reid's blog post on this subject (the link Esmae Tyler provided)? Particularly this part:

Keep in mind agents are individuals and have their own preferences. Fact is, by not waiting to query until you had done everything possible to have your manuscript complete and polished to a high sheen, you now run the risk of a pass. BUT, it's the agent's call. As Ms. Reid stated, the last thing you want to do is drag your heels right now. Send the requesting agent an email and let her/him know that the novel has undergone revision making it a stronger novel since you queried. Tell the agent you will send them the revised version unless they tell you otherwise, just as Ms. Reid stated in the quote above. Again, let it be the agent's call and send them exactly what they request.

Fingers crossed for you and best of luck.

Even if they pass on it, I suppose I'm just happy to know I actually wrote something which other agents might be interested in representing as well. I definitely know my writing hasn't been a waste of time now, hehe.

Thank you so much. I'll definitely do that then; send my newer manuscript, tell them why and send only that.

Ari Meermans · Oct 4, 2017

Loke1997 said:
Even if they pass on it, I suppose I'm just happy to know I actually wrote something which other agents might be interested in representing as well. I definitely know my writing hasn't been a waste of time now, hehe.

Thank you so much. I'll definitely do that then; send my newer manuscript, tell them why and send only that.

[Emphasis mine]

Well, that's not what I wrote, but I did fail to ask if you've made substantial changes to the pages which accompanied the query. If you didn't make changes to the pages which accompanied the query—making it unrecognizable as the novel queried—simply send the full without mentioning revision. Your having revised the manuscript only matters if your revision differs from the pages already sent. If you didn't alter those pages, there's no need to mention it's a newer version.

Loke1997 · Oct 4, 2017

Ari Meermans said:
[Emphasis mine]

Well, that's not what I wrote, but I did fail to ask if you've made substantial changes to the pages which accompanied the query. If you didn't make changes to the pages which accompanied the query—making it unrecognizable as the novel queried—simply send the full without mentioning revision. Your having revised the manuscript only matters if your revision differs from the pages already sent. If you didn't alter those pages, there's no need to mention it's a newer version.

Oh yeah, the first chapter was almost completely changed, second chapter was highly edited and third chapter was completely new.

Pisco Sour · Oct 4, 2017

First, congratulations on the full request! YAY!
I was in the same situation a few weeks ago. I queried an agent way back in July, but overhauled in September so that the first few pages are very different (she wanted the first 5 pasted into the e-mail for the query, only). I wrote back and told her I'd made a few changes. Just that. I sent the full, as requested, and had a nice little acknowledgement back. Good luck!

Loke1997 · Oct 4, 2017

Pisco Sour said:
First, congratulations on the full request! YAY!
I was in the same situation a few weeks ago. I queried an agent way back in July, but overhauled in September so that the first few pages are very different (she wanted the first 5 pasted into the e-mail for the query, only). I wrote back and told her I'd made a few changes. Just that. I sent the full, as requested, and had a nice little acknowledgement back. Good luck!

Good to know! That definitely fills me with a bit of confidence. Yeah, I said this:

'Thank you for your interest. The manuscript is attached as a word document as requested. I have revised the book in the past month and am now able to present you with a more highly polished version. I can send you the older version if you require, but this one is stronger. The new word-count is 65,000 words. I am also currently reviewing other work which matches your interests and needs and will send it if requested.'

In any case, if she's turned off by this, I at least know my novel has potential.

Successful query and manuscript requested, but there's a problem

Loke1997

Esmae Tyler

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Loke1997

Loke1997

Ari Meermans

MacAllister's Official Minion & Greeter

Loke1997

Ari Meermans

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Loke1997

Ari Meermans

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Loke1997

Pisco Sour

Loke1997