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Lantern Jack
05-11-2006, 10:39 AM
If you could turn into a woman, sans menstrual problems, or into a man, sans nocturnal emissions and male pattern baldness, would you do it, and why?

As for me, I'd love to be a girl with a tight tummy and size-C breasts and raven tresses and come-hither lashes and a brain dense as the center of the Earth.

Actually, that last bit I already have. So, really, all I need is the body to match the brains and I'd be an unstoppable beast of smarts and sensuosity:e2fairy:

Celia Cyanide
05-11-2006, 10:50 AM
No nocturnal emissions? That would take all the fun out of it.

GPatten
05-11-2006, 02:50 PM
:e2dance:

What?

Shadow_Ferret
05-11-2006, 04:03 PM
Could I be transmutable and do the change at will? I'd be like a were-gender-human.

Haggis
05-11-2006, 04:39 PM
I'm afraid I'd keep trying to get into my pants. I mean, I'm so easy.

Tilly
05-11-2006, 05:08 PM
Can I stay a woman and just improve bits? Without scalpels and ucky things like that?

A. Hamilton
05-11-2006, 05:56 PM
i think i would enjoy being a man for say a day or so, maybe a week. but i'd want to be all he could be, complete..well with the nighttime stuff. and then back to being a woman, a much more understanding and thus powerful, woman. ;)

maestrowork
05-11-2006, 06:01 PM
I want to be a lesbian.

Jcomp
05-11-2006, 06:08 PM
I'm cool with being a dude. Chicks have to deal with too much, I don't know how y'all do it...

Melisande
05-11-2006, 07:53 PM
I'm quite happy being, and staying, a woman. Men seem to have so many issues.

Perks
05-11-2006, 07:57 PM
I love to be a man for a year. Maybe half a year. Okay, three months and that's my final offer. Just to know what it's like. But then again, I'm oft mistaken for one around here, so...

Lantern Jack
05-11-2006, 08:00 PM
I want to be a lesbian.

Amen, little angry sister!

Shadow_Ferret
05-11-2006, 08:47 PM
Men seem to have so many issues.

That's funny. And men think women have so many issues. :)

Truth is, neither of us have issues (not being a woman, I don't know this for a fact, but I'll give ya'll the benefit of the doubt) but seem to perceive that there are said issues in the other.

I certainly have no issues except for the ones put on me by my wife.

Jaycinth
05-11-2006, 08:54 PM
I used to joke about being a gay man in a woman's body but my gay male friend said my bu** is waaaaaay too big for that. He's such a .........

Maryn
05-12-2006, 12:45 AM
Permanent change? No way. Temporary, for a set period of time? Quite possibly. Voluntariliy, at my will? You bet!

I would be conducting so many experiments, both physiological and social.

Maryn, who'd start with horseback riding

badducky
05-12-2006, 12:54 AM
What? No. No no no.

Not even as a temporary experiment.

Not even if there were only two men left alive and one of us had to change to keep the species alive, but the only one who qualified for the operation was me.

The more important question, I think, is if you could make the same change occur to someone else, who would you zap into a new gender?

I'd definitely make Osama Bin Laden a woman.

eldragon
05-12-2006, 01:31 AM
Yuck. I like my genitals inside my body.
It's so much neater that way.

And I prefer my hormones to be out of whack a few days in the month, not all the time.

Excess body and facial hair? No thanks.

And size does matter - when it comes to Adams apples.

And when a man looks bad, he can't do alot about it. Besides exercise and a haircut, what else is there? Make-up is a great artistic tool, and one I am not willing to give up willingly.

If I were a man, I'd be expected to belch, drink all the beer and know how to fix things. I don't want to change my tire when it's flat. I'd rather stand around looking stupid, holding my cell phone to my ear.

And I like sitting down when I pee. Who cares if I can't draw pictures in the snow with my urine?


I also appreciate the hair on the top of my head. I don't look forward to losing it, and alot of men do thin out with age.


That about does it. No thanks, LJ. I'll stay female.

Yeshanu
05-12-2006, 03:04 AM
The more important question, I think, is if you could make the same change occur to someone else, who would you zap into a new gender?


I'd turn Ray into a lesbian... :D

eldragon
05-12-2006, 03:05 AM
The more important question, I think, is if you could make the same change occur to someone else, who would you zap into a new gender?

Oh, heck yes. All the oppressed women in the world would become men, and their husbands would become women. PAYBACK TIME!


And Barbara Bush would become a woman.

SpookyWriter
05-12-2006, 03:40 AM
I just to learn how to eat a tootise pop correctly.

SC Harrison
05-12-2006, 05:31 AM
If I could snap my fingers and have a female body, I would:

a) Quit my job and cash in my 401k,

b) Lock the door and disconnect the phone (except when ordering pizza),

c) Play with myself and take showers constantly (or both),

d) Become a Preferred Customer at Victoria's Secret.com,

e) Eat a whole cheesecake and then look in the mirror to see if I can tell a difference,

f) Go online and try to lure as many lesbians as possible to my abode,

g) Take a very long bubblebath with only candles lighting the bathroom.


And then, the next day...

DamaNegra
05-12-2006, 05:33 AM
Aw but I like being a women. Men have a moral issue with hitting women, I've never met a guy who'd willingly hit a girl even when seriously provoked. I like being able to pick fights with both genders :)

Plus, I already have my masculine hormones at a level way above normal, so I'm practically a guy :D

special needs
05-12-2006, 05:40 AM
I would like to be a man. Sorry, I just never got a hold of the "get-on-with-your-life-during-your-period" thing. I still whine and complain and kick and scream and wish I was a man once a month.

And men can eat whatever they want without getting fat, so long as they work out and get nice muscles....women, on the other hand, have to watch both how much they eat AND how much they work out, for muscular women are not attractive.

-sigh- I blame my dad. Stupid x chromosone.

special needs
05-12-2006, 05:44 AM
A period is an excuse I don't get to use! When I kick and scream it's because I'm kicking and screaming. That's just not fair.

But it's just so cool to kick and scream for no reason that I'd trade you any second..... What's the matter? You don't want cramps and blood and uncontrollable hormones?

Jean Marie
05-12-2006, 05:45 AM
A period is an excuse I don't get to use! When I kick and scream it's because I'm kicking and screaming. That's just not fair.
http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/emoticoncry.gif

special needs
05-12-2006, 05:52 AM
It sounds enticing, but oddly...no. (-;

What about the 9 months of pregnancy...and labor... to produce a child? That doesn't convince you, either? :Shrug:

My favorite dumb blonde joke revolves around periods.....I think that's pretty much the only good reason for its existence. :cry:

Edited to fix what sounded totally bad.

special needs
05-12-2006, 05:54 AM
No... no you don't. Women live difficult lives. :rant:

special needs
05-12-2006, 05:57 AM
Hmmm? No. I just don't think it's right for me. Thanks anyway. You almost had me at blood.

Wait... hold your horses... I don't think you'd want to drink beer and fart, either.

writerterri
05-12-2006, 06:31 AM
We're complicated guys.

Being a woman works for me though.


I love men.


They smell good, even after work.


If I were a man I would probably be a drag queen.

SpookyWriter
05-12-2006, 06:35 AM
They smell good, even after work.I'm on my way home, honey.

http://img.slate.msn.com/media/1/123125/122986/2094254/2100260/2100578/2100679/040520_trashintruck.jpg

Bret
05-12-2006, 06:36 AM
Can I change back? If I could take a 24 hour sex change pill- wait. Will I be hot? I have to be hot. Ok. Sure I'd try it out. I would definitely call in sick to work though. Not only to avoid being ogled by those ill mannered barbarians, but there are things I'd want to do like

shave my legs

try to figure out what Oprah is really about

look at myself in the mirror

and other, well, stuff. I don't know. "girl stuff!"

and wait to see the look on my wife's face when she got home from work! Ok, maybe I'd better not be too hot. Merely pretty will have to do. If I looked too Pam Anderson, she'd be ticked.

Maybe I'd better forget the whole thing, she gets mad when I stretch out her panties as it is. ;)

billythrilly7th
05-12-2006, 07:28 AM
If you could turn into a woman, sans menstrual problems, or into a man, sans nocturnal emissions and male pattern baldness, would you do it, and why?


I was wondering when someone would finally get this, the Transvestite question, asked.

Jean Marie
05-12-2006, 07:44 AM
Do I get to drink beer and fart?
Isn't that a rhetorical question http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif

SpookyWriter
05-12-2006, 07:49 AM
Originally Posted by KTCDo I get to drink beer and fart?

Isn't that a rhetorical question http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/images/smilies/smile.gif
Nah, I think he was just internalizing his thoughts to paper...:D

writerterri
05-12-2006, 09:42 AM
I'm on my way home, honey.

http://img.slate.msn.com/media/1/123125/122986/2094254/2100260/2100578/2100679/040520_trashintruck.jpg


Wellll, not that good.

aruna
05-12-2006, 10:05 AM
When I was a child I wanted desperately to be a boy, and I was very masculine in some ways. I changed my name officially to Jo (short for Josephine; my mother and everyone obliged) and refused to ever wear a dress. I had my hair cut short. I never once played with a doll. I liked adventures, animals, reading, travelling, swimming - but not fighting, sports, cars, and all that mechanical stuff.

But it didn't happen, thank God. I love being a woman and wouldn't change for the world.
However, I am still quite masculine in many ways. I never could identify with supposedly typically female things like shoes (especially high heels, never wore them in my life!) make-up, hair-styles, clothes, shopping. I don't care much about being attractive to men, or about my body, I try to keep it healthy and that's about it. I also hate talking.

Some female things, though, I really love, above all the ability to bear and give birth to a child, which is for me the ultimate human experience, bar none. I love mothering, babies. I go all weak in the knees at very small babies, and I never once thought that staying home to be a full-time mother is in any way inferior to a career or earning potential or power.

I also never suffered from PMS or any of the physical and emotional negative side effects of pregnancy and birth, or even menopause. In other words I'm a freak!

poetinahat
05-12-2006, 10:18 AM
No, I wouldn't change either. I love being a man who loves women (well, A woman). Women are marvelous beings, and I'm glad I can appreciate them from the other side.

Being a guy? Well, I yam what I yam. It's hard for me to imagine being anything else.

With all the doubts, guilt and regrets I have, I'm glad that sexual identity isn't one of them.

special needs
05-12-2006, 02:43 PM
No, I wouldn't change either. I love being a man who loves women (well, A woman).

Awww. I'm the only woman that you love? :)

rich
05-12-2006, 02:56 PM
I like to stand up when I pee. Besides just liking it, the lines are much longer at the girly bathrooms.

aruna
05-12-2006, 03:05 PM
I like to stand up when I pee. Besides just liking it, the lines are much longer at the girly bathrooms.

In rural South India, the men squat to pee and the women stand, legs apart. No kidding.

A funny incident recently: my husband and I were driving through France and stopped at a busy restaurant on the motorway. The queue for the women's toilet reached way out of the restroom, while there was no queue to the men's. The restroom lady kept grabbing women from their queue and shoving them, sometimes under protest, into the men's, "Allez, allez, allez!"
I couldn't help thinking, only in France. It was quite funny.

DamaNegra
05-12-2006, 03:17 PM
However, I am still quite masculine in many ways. I never could identify with supposedly typically female things like shoes (especially high heels, never wore them in my life!) make-up, hair-styles, clothes, shopping. I don't care much about being attractive to men, or about my body, I try to keep it healthy and that's about it. I also hate talking.

Lol!!! We must be twins!! High heels are the bane of my existance and I only have two worn-out sneakers (I was fine with one pair until mom forced me to buy another). Make-up? Ewww it makes my face feel like a mask. Sometimes, though, I'll wear transparent rimmel to pretend I have eyelashes. Clothes? I've got two pants and a skirt (which was a gift). I'm not kidding. Plus, I've got less than 10 t-shirts, all baggy and unisex. My socks? I share them with my brother.

And don't get me started about shopping!! I hate shopping!! Every time mom forces me to buy clothes, she ends up crying and laughing at the same time like a maniac. Poor mom, but I don't like buying clothes and she seems to love making me try out every single damn outfit at the store.

And my body? I work out and do exercie and try to lose weigh mainly to be able to fight better. Who cares about being sexy? Guys already like me a lot and sometimes have crushes on me without me being girly or delicate.

I love the way I am.

aruna
05-12-2006, 03:29 PM
And don't get me started about shopping!! I hate shopping!! Every time mom forces me to buy clothes, she ends up crying and laughing at the same time like a maniac. Poor mom, but I don't like buying clothes and she seems to love making me try out every single damn outfit at the store.

And my body? I work out and do exercie and try to lose weigh mainly to be able to fight better. Who cares about being sexy? Guys already like me a lot and sometimes have crushes on me without me being girly or delicate.

I love the way I am.

Your mom and I ought to swap daughters! I'm the one who hates it when my daughtre needs (wants!) new clothes and drags me around the place trying things on. I never understand why she just doesn't grab the nearest thing and go. She would love a girly mom who goes shopping with her.

I didn't have your confidence when I was your age, unfortunately. All my friends were the girly type who could go on for hours about fashion and make-up. I tried to keep up but ended up being a total misfit. I never knew what shoes went with what dress and just didn't care, but because I thought i was weird I got shy and awkward. I didn't grow out of that till I was 19.

badducky
05-12-2006, 04:44 PM
I'm the one who hates it when my daughtre needs (wants!) new clothes and drags me around the place trying things on. I never understand why she just doesn't grab the nearest thing and go. She would love a girly mom who goes shopping with her.


She only does it because she knows you hate it. If she had a girly mom, your daughter'd never take the girly mom shopping. She'd take the girly mom to stock car races, pro wrestling matches, and a karate dojo.

Forbidden Snowflake
05-12-2006, 05:16 PM
No.

And what's the obsession with lesbians?

rich
05-12-2006, 05:22 PM
Nope, I keep thinking about the change. It'd mean no more pissing contests.