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Denevius
08-02-2017, 08:44 AM
Hello all,

I'm looking for a critique swap on a short story, chapter, or prose excerpt not more than 7000 words. I currently have a story I just finished, and I'm looking for readers. The title is LAND OF MAIJU, the genre is urban fantasy, and the word count is just shy of 6000 words.

The first 196 words are below. If interested, email me at eniac_caine at hotmail dot com. Thanks!

***

The granddaughter of the most powerful witch in the world held a pencil to the hole in the wall.

“Jong Eun-Yul,” six-year-old Koh Dong-gyu said. He stood over her shoulder. “It’s too short.”

“Way too short,” the students standing behind Dong-gyu said.

“It’s a perfect size,” Eun-Yul replied. The pencil did seem too short, though. But she didn’t want to agree with Dong-gyu. Anyway, how would he know how far into the wall they had to go to find the Land of Maiju?

Eun-Yul placed the pencil into the small hole.

“It’s not sharp enough.” Dong-gyu’s breath tickled her ear.

“Where’s the pencil sharpener?” the students behind Dong-gyu asked.

“It’s perfectly sharp,” Eun-Yul replied. Besides, this was the only pencil they’d found in the room. A longer one would be better, but when Stephen Teacher brought in the rest of the school supplies, it would be too late. Stephen Teacher’s disbelief magic would cancel out their belief magic.

Eun-Yul turned the short, dull edged pencil to the right and left, left and right. Tiny bits of plaster fluttered to the floor.

Dong-gyu reached for the pencil. “Give it to me. You don’t know what you’re doing.”

Nerdilydone
08-05-2017, 07:40 PM
I can't swap anything with you, as my stuff is too long, but I definitely want to beta your story. Pm me, if you like.

Edit: or I could just be convenient and pm you. :D

Harlequin
08-06-2017, 12:13 AM
If you still need betas, I would also be happy to read pro gratis.

Deserted is too long to swap with you (7.8k) but I've already had many eyes on it, so pay it forward etc ;-).