Mine?
Alright, fine, I'll admit it. I'm an Office Joke Thief. Started out as a Classroom Joke Thief in high school, took my comedy-criminal-career to college, and now am currently using my fiendish skill in the business world.
That's right, your witty observations aren't safe around me. I'm the guy sitting next to you in the meeting who hears you make an amusing, possibly hysterical comment under your breath. I chuckle, to let you know that I heard you, giving you a false sense of security--a moment to smile--and then... I repeat what you just said, only aloud, and claim it as my own. I bask in the silky warmth of compliments: "Johnny you're always so funny!" "How do you come up with them!" "You want to come to my party this weekend? You'll be such a hit!"
Slack jawed, you stare at me, but I am impervious to your accusing eyes. You had one chance at acceptance, one chance at being invited to a party that I was already going to be invited to, and I just robbed it from you. Now you face another weekend alone with Michael Bolton comeback albums, Arby's, and the NBC primetime lineup.
But what can you do? "Stop laughing everyone! It was my joke, I was just too scared to say it out loud! I'm the funny one, honest!" HA! I telepathically laugh at you while telling the other co-workers "I don't know man, they just come to me!"
Yes, this is my confession. I am the Office Joke Thief. If you want credit for your joke, have the balls to speak up, to proclaim it to the heavens, or I will thieve it as nothing has been thieved in the history of thievery. And show zero remorse...
Alright, fine, I'll admit it. I'm an Office Joke Thief. Started out as a Classroom Joke Thief in high school, took my comedy-criminal-career to college, and now am currently using my fiendish skill in the business world.
That's right, your witty observations aren't safe around me. I'm the guy sitting next to you in the meeting who hears you make an amusing, possibly hysterical comment under your breath. I chuckle, to let you know that I heard you, giving you a false sense of security--a moment to smile--and then... I repeat what you just said, only aloud, and claim it as my own. I bask in the silky warmth of compliments: "Johnny you're always so funny!" "How do you come up with them!" "You want to come to my party this weekend? You'll be such a hit!"
Slack jawed, you stare at me, but I am impervious to your accusing eyes. You had one chance at acceptance, one chance at being invited to a party that I was already going to be invited to, and I just robbed it from you. Now you face another weekend alone with Michael Bolton comeback albums, Arby's, and the NBC primetime lineup.
But what can you do? "Stop laughing everyone! It was my joke, I was just too scared to say it out loud! I'm the funny one, honest!" HA! I telepathically laugh at you while telling the other co-workers "I don't know man, they just come to me!"
Yes, this is my confession. I am the Office Joke Thief. If you want credit for your joke, have the balls to speak up, to proclaim it to the heavens, or I will thieve it as nothing has been thieved in the history of thievery. And show zero remorse...
