View Full Version : Feedback on this story.........

07-01-2017, 12:58 AM
It was a warm summer night in August in Iowa. The old minor league baseball stadium
was hanging on as new stadiums were the norm. There was a sparse crowd
of maybe 400 scattered over the grand stand area. There were no
outfield bleachers, which instead had a large tree lined backdrop.

Scott smiled as he entered the stadium, paid his $5 ticket and bought
a scorecard and a beer. He made his way to his seat long the 1st base
line, halfway between home plate and first base.

He filled out his scorecard then took time to look around the field.
He loved this.

He was 36 years old, tall and very thin. A few regulars filled in the
stands, mostly older couples. A few families here and there.

He turned his attention to what was right in front of him. An older
man a row from the dugout. About 8 rows in front of him and slightly
to his left was a woman who was also filling out a scorecard.

She had short black hair tied in a small ponytail. She had a light blue
dress with thin straps that ran over very developed shoulders. The dress showed off her huge arms.
The dress ran down to her med thigh, showing her massive thighs.
Her muscles are large but still with a soft layer of skin over them.

Scott stared at her as she herself scanned the field.

Something about her captured his attention and he would be watching
her and the game equally.

07-01-2017, 01:01 AM
Hi Musclemom,

I'm afraid this is not the right place to post your work and ask for feedback. If you want a beta reader or critique partner for a complete work, you can post that request here in the beta readers forum. If you want critiques from the community at large, the work needs to be posted in Share Your Work. For reasons that you are noted in the stickies section, new members are required to have made 50 substantive posts before they can request critiques on their own work. But it's darned easy to get to 50 posts in a hurry: hop down to Share Your Work, go to the subforum for your genre of choice, and critique other people's work! That will also let people get to know you as a contributing member, so when you are able to put your own work up for critique they'll be happy to return the favour.

AW Admin
07-01-2017, 02:17 AM
Hi musclemom

Before you can post an excerpt for crit, you'll need to have 50 substantive posts.

This is in part to help members become familiar with what it means to be critted. We encourage you to read a lot, especially reading crits and trying crits yourself, and of course reading the stickies in Share Your Work and read crits of other writers' work, as well as critting some yourself.

You have to have 50 posts on AW before you can create a new thread in SYW. You can read all about it here (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=199915).

You can reach fifty posts by doing crits for others, welcoming new members in the Newbie forum, and generally being an active participant on AW.

Once you reach 50 posts, it takes about an hour for the server to catch up. See the second half of this FAQ.

You should spend some time while you wait, reading the SYW Stickies (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=135), and reading other crits, to learn how to crit on AW.

And it never hurts to read the Newbie 's Guide (http://www.absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=66315), like right now, because if you're asking this question, you've already blown off the Welcome To AW PM you got, and you probably haven't read the Newbie's Guide, either.