Things my 3 year old knows...

Stew21 · May 9, 2006

(that I never taught him.)

How to suck in air and make himself burp. Over and over and over again.
How to pee outside.
How to spit.
That farts are funny. (he called them "toots")
When Scooby Doo is on (he doesn't know how to read a clock, but has a 6th sense for Scooby Doo).
That, even though he isn't sure why, The Three Stooges is Funny.

But he isn't quite sure about what to get me for Mother's Day. When asked by his Daddy, he answered, "she needs a toolbox." My husband thought that was a wonderful idea. (I'm imagining Marge Simpson getting a Bowling Ball with Homer's name engraved on it for her birthday).

So, do men take their sons aside at the age of 3 and teach them these all important things, or are they just born with it?

Shadow_Ferret · May 9, 2006

Stew21 said:
(that I never taught him.)

How to suck in air and make himself burp. Over and over and over again.
How to pee outside.
How to spit.
That farts are funny. (he called them "toots")
When Scooby Doo is on (he doesn't know how to read a clock, but has a 6th sense for Scooby Doo).
That, even though he isn't sure why, The Three Stooges is Funny.

But he isn't quite sure about what to get me for Mother's Day. When asked by his Daddy, he answered, "she needs a toolbox." My husband thought that was a wonderful idea. (I'm imagining Marge Simpson getting a Bowling Ball with Homer's name engraved on it for her birthday).

So, do men take their sons aside at the age of 3 and teach them these all important things, or are they just born with it?

Some are innate. I myself still don't know how to swallow air and burp on command. A talent that has frustrated me in it's absense since I was in grade school.

But farts are funny. You have to be taught to be prudish.

Christine N. · May 9, 2006

Oh, all kids think farts are funny. And, ya know, they are... strange kind of noise. We call them toots too.

The spitting thing is driving me crazy, but I think I've finally gotten him to stop. Peeing outside is something we did for the first time last weekend. (hey, out at the playground, wasn't walking all the way home just to pee!)

We love Scooby-Doo too.
The burping thing, well, he probably did it by accident one day and figured it was cool.

Maryn · May 9, 2006

My husband did take our son aside and teach him about peeing outdoors. Where it's okay, and when, and where and when it's not, too.

Maryn, who never took her daughter on peeing field trips

Stew21 · May 9, 2006

do you think the toolbox as mother's day gift is a male conspiracy between he and my husband to get me what they want?

jenngreenleaf · May 9, 2006

"So, do men take their sons aside at the age of 3 and teach them these all important things, or are they just born with it?"

They're born with it - no question. I have a four and six year old and, magically, they come up with all sorts of boy things. :: sighs :: Like, how do they know *exactly* where to kick when defending themselves . . . especially when they've never been kicked there. And how do they know girls are grossed out by worms? How!?

aadams73 · May 9, 2006

I believe these traits are carried on the small arm of the Y chromosome.

dahmnait · May 9, 2006

Stew21 said:
How to pee outside.

My son's first experience was at school.

That was not a fun phone call.

He stopped once he realized that he is not supposed to pee outside, but now I have to go through my house every day to make sure he didn't find an empty container to pee in. (It has happened twice now.)

Please tell me that it gets easier. Lie to me if you have to.

Shadow_Ferret · May 9, 2006

dahmnait said:
My son's first experience was at school. That was not a fun phone call.

My oldest's first experience was, we were up north at my wife's cousin's cottage and grandpa had to go to the bathroom and we were having trouble with the key in the lock to get inside the cottage and finally he dashed off to pee behind the woodpile with my then 5-year-old son trailing behind to watch. My son thought that was the neatest thing to pee outside.

billythrilly7th · May 9, 2006

Stew21 said:
(that I never taught him.)

How to suck in air and make himself burp. Over and over and over again.
How to pee outside.
How to spit.
That farts are funny. (he called them "toots")
When Scooby Doo is on (he doesn't know how to read a clock, but has a 6th sense for Scooby Doo).
That, even though he isn't sure why, The Three Stooges is Funny.

I know how to do those things too, but you didn't see me start a thread to brag about them.

Christine N. · May 9, 2006

LOL.
Yeah, that's the problem with teaching it... you have to monitor it. Now he wants to do it all the time. I told my son he can only pee outside when Mommy or Daddy say it's ok.

Haggis · May 9, 2006

Christine N. said:
LOL.
Yeah, that's the problem with teaching it... you have to monitor it. Now he wants to do it all the time. I told my son he can only pee outside when Mommy or Daddy say it's ok.

Come on, now. Don't stifle the little guy's creativity.

Yeshanu · May 9, 2006

dahmnait said:
My son's first experience was at school. That was not a fun phone call.

He stopped once he realized that he is not supposed to pee outside, but now I have to go through my house every day to make sure he didn't find an empty container to pee in. (It has happened twice now.)

Please tell me that it gets easier. Lie to me if you have to.

It gets easier, dahmnait.

I'm lying...

The being able to pee outside thing is one of the things that makes me jealous of guys. We do a lot of travelling and camping and hiking, and it's durned inconvenient to have to find a washroom every time you have to empty your bladder.

On the other hand, I've noticed that the guys in the family have *much* smaller bladders than the gals, so I guess God has given us some sort of compensation.

Stew21 · May 9, 2006

billythrilly7th said:
I know how to do those things too, but you didn't see me start a thread to brag about them.

Well since you can do them all, who taught them to you? Are some of them things boys are born with or did someone teach you how to make yourself burp on demand?

NeuroFizz · May 9, 2006

We're not supposed to pee outside? Uh-oh.

Stew21 · May 9, 2006

Yesterday we were outside in our yard and Kyle had to go, wouldn't go inside, said he was going to go in the bushes. I told him he had to hide so no one would see him, he walked around the house a bit, dropped his pants between two bushes in the FRONT yard - mooned the neighbors across the street, then happily said, "I peed mom! I hid in bushes!" Yea, nice hiding, kid! He could have easily made it inside, this is no longer pee outside when necessary, it is pee outside because he can.

special needs · May 9, 2006

I hope, I hope that if I ever give birth, I give birth to a girl. I couldn't imagine having to live with two males. :Ssh:

Stew21 · May 9, 2006

special needs said:
I hope, I hope that if I ever give birth, I give birth to a girl. I couldn't imagine having to live with two males.

three. I have two sons. the three year old is the oldest.
I'm surrounded!

special needs · May 9, 2006

Stew21 said:
three. I have two sons. the three year old is the oldest.
I'm surrounded!

I send my sympathy!

jenngreenleaf · May 9, 2006

Stew21 said:
three. I have two sons. the three year old is the oldest.
I'm surrounded!

I'm surrounded, too! LOL Thank goodness my S.O.'s daughter is in the picture now and can be on my team!

Stew21 · May 9, 2006

Stew21 said:
three. I have two sons. the three year old is the oldest.
I'm surrounded!

I should have said the husband is the oldest of my boys.

Jenn, the only team member I have is our dog, Trudy. (but she's a daddy's girl).

jenngreenleaf · May 9, 2006

::hugs:: I feel for you! Dogs count, too, though . . . and it's only fitting that she's daddy's little girl.

writerterri · May 9, 2006

My kids think that anything which has to do with your butt is the funniest thing on earth. I have to put them in a ten minute time out on their beds when they get out of hand and I can't discipling them with a strait face either. So they laugh all the way to their rooms.

Those small people need therapy, but their mine so I think I'll keep them.

Terri

robeiae · May 9, 2006

After my son peeed outdoors for the first time (jumped out of the pool to do it--thank God), I taught him how to calculate the point of impact of the stream, based on the initial inclination of the member, the velocity of pee, and g. He's five, now.

Rob

Fern · May 9, 2006

dahmnait said:
My son's first experience was at school. That was not a fun phone call.

You should've seen the kid out on the ball field during a game a
couple years back. You really really should have seen his mother, who
couldn't get to him. :ROFL:

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