View Full Version : Dragon etiquette

05-08-2006, 02:47 AM
I've been toying for some time with the idea of doing something comic with etiquette... from the dragon's point of view, perhaps combining it with a cookbook (Shepherd Pie, Gypsy Stew, that sort of thing) and illustrations.

Any of our dragon experts out there willing to give me some dragon etiquette?

05-08-2006, 03:02 AM
What kind of dragons did you have in mind? The traditional european sort of dragons which hoard gold are solitsry, so they probably wouldn't have much in the way of etiquette beyond "Stay out of my territory."

05-08-2006, 03:10 AM
Pretty much any kind. European dragons might have had to decide, for example, whether knights should be shelled before broiling, or whether spears were permissible for use as toothpicks...

I guess I'm thinking human-type etiquette that could be twisted by a dragon's-eye-view as well as looking at those points usually attributed to dragons in their dealings with humans.

05-08-2006, 06:45 AM
I think you have an open field, pretty much. I suppose a fire-breathing dragon could serve up a knight burger in a matter of seconds.

Sound like fun. Go for it because we really know nothing about dragons which are, after all, mythical beasts.


05-08-2006, 08:16 AM
You might want to look up R.A. MacAvoy's Tea with the Black Dragon as one of the viewpoint characters is an Asian dragon (in human form) to see what she did on that theme.

Also Dragons On The Town by Thorarinn Gunnarsson (he's got several books with dragons) might be of help.

Mostly I read what other writers do in the same genre so I can avoid doing the same thing. However, I do study their technique to see if I can figure out how they figured something out!

Good luck! :)

05-09-2006, 12:07 AM
There are limited forms of Dragon etiquette that are commonly used.

There is the comic look at dragons which involves killing and eating humans. While this is funny it presumes that dragons are ignorant of human society and the many successful dragonslayers romping around throughout fiction.

There is the "dragons are the most dangerous creatures ever" look at dragons. Dragons don't really have etiquette. You just die or can not approach them. This often combines with the "dragons a big dumb lizards that breath fire" look at dragons.

Finally there is a in-depth look at dragons that a few people have taken. Of all the sources I have seen Dungeons and Dragons (www.Wizards.com (http://www.Wizards.com)) has taken the most in depth look at different kinds of dragons but you'll want to familiarize yourself with the d20 license before you touch that. Other really in-depth sources have been mentioned previously. However they treat dragons as the most complicated, intelligent and powerful of creatures.

I saw a fantastic documentary on dragons on one of the learning stations. The dragons are all computer generated, naturally, but it treated them as if they were real and went over their mating habits, social graces, incubation and other aspects of their lives. I don't remember the name of the program but it was very professional and I wouldn't think it would be too hard to hunt down on google.

One big decision you will need to make is how many kinds of dragons there are. Many just stick to one dragon, while others have dozens. The more dragons, generally the more complicated and intelligent they are. The need for diversity forces some to be highly intelligent while others become dumb as rocks.

Mark Charke

05-09-2006, 12:27 AM
Well I think they should use mouthwash before devouring virgins. It's only good manners.

05-09-2006, 12:48 AM
The dragon in my book paints murals (a task made easier by his standing height of 40 feet). He hunts and fishes for his once-a-day meal (never humans nor aquatic mammals), taking care to display his fish and game license.

He kneels when shaking hands with a human, not from humility but out of practicality. Instead of demanding that the world conform to his size, he improvises: a scaffold holds his paints and brushes in the same way a human artist uses a folding stand for his paint case; he uses bed sheets as rags and buckets with the handles removed as coffee cups. He lives in an aircraft hangar which is also his studio for sketching live subjects.

Not very exciting but proper behavior for a dragon who doesn't want to meet the same fate as every movie monster.

05-09-2006, 06:00 AM
I'll bet you that bending down to get those bottom sections are back breakers.

05-09-2006, 04:39 PM
I'll bet you that bending down to get those bottom sections are back breakers.From Collinsfort Village:

On Monday, work on the mural resumed. Dorian lay on his side with his neck twisted to keep his eyes parallel to the ground. Using a human-sized paintbrush, he added the final details to Griff’s likeness. Griff’s audience would be painted in over the next several days.

Dragons are very resourceful.

05-09-2006, 06:35 PM
Great suggestions, one and all, thank you!

The idea started a couple of years ago with the accidental juxtaposition of a book on dragons and a book on cooking which triggered my cheerfully gruesome sense of humour and resulted in a few sketches of "The Dragon Cafe." Dragons dining out: the ladies wearing a string of pearls and the gents in ties while their waiter (in an apron) lifts the meal cover to reveal "peasant under glass" or assures them that they use only fresh Alfredos for their Alfredo sauce.

While it would never be on the New York Times bestseller list, it could do well as a novelty release for the Christmas trade, no?

I'm certainly willing to collaborate if anyone shares my sense of humour.

05-12-2006, 08:07 AM
This thread piqued my curiosity.

Humans are best when slow-roasted. If you get in too much of a hurry and char them, all the flavor is gone.

Cows are best when eaten raw. The human propensity for cooking them is... well ... just strange. It ruins the delicate crunch of their bones and the mellow taste of the marrow.

Chickens and other small birds make lovely appetizers.

I think you can let your imagination play here.
Ronda / CAt

05-12-2006, 09:57 AM
Good points. If I ever get it together I'm going to ask for permission to quote you.

I would also think that it's simply good manners not to flame upwind so the other dragons don't get ashes in their meals. And of course if one is eating horse the tack should be removed first so it doesn't get stuck in your teeth. Terribly embarrassing to have a rein sticking out of your mouth.

What about hoards? Is it acceptable to accept treasure instead of maidens or should it be merely an accompaniment?

05-12-2006, 08:25 PM
Considering there is such a dirth of maidens these days, the acceptance of alternative honorifics has become essential. To be honest, the maiden morsel, though considered quite a delicacy to some, is so small as to be but a momentary delight.

Though humans have a false notion that dragons want plunder, their misconception can be useful. If the offer a bag of gold, that could have its uses in the future, but the best use of the gift is to crunch the human carrying the offering. Humans are, after all, quite tasty.

05-13-2006, 10:40 AM
All right: here's a tricky one for you. Should dragonslayers be served as an entree or an appetizer? And are they appropriate for a formal dinner or better served as a casual barbeque?

Apologies to Dorian for making his life more difficult than it already is. :e2poke:

05-13-2006, 08:00 PM
They should be served as an entre, at a formal dinner of course.
"And the piece de resistance:
Steak au Dragonslayer Flambee. A masterpiece, cooked to perfection and set a flame. Served with tender cherubs, butter and a delicious red wine sauce."

05-13-2006, 09:07 PM
Ah, of course, I was forgetting myself. The appetizer then should be knight on the half-shell?

Knights are so very accommodating. They even provide their own spears for extracting them from their shell once they're cooked.

Do dragonslayers from different countries have different nuances of flavour? Which would be the most prized?

05-13-2006, 09:36 PM
Dragonslayers from the northen countries, have a definite flavour of wool and mushroom, and are not really considered first class, as they can be quite tough.
From the Mediterrainian area they have a very distinct touch of garlic and wine. Very prized, indeed.
Dragonslayers from the eastern countries can be surprisingly spicy and hot and are very popular for the casual barbeque.
From the western countries anything can be expected, though most popular would be a slayer with a chicken fried chicken flavour. They are very sought after for snacks.
A rarity, and therefore very highly prized, are the african dragonslayers. The are especially tender and very succulent with a slight hint of exotic spices that will have any gourmet dragon's mouth water.

05-14-2006, 05:49 AM
Chinese dragonslayers are great, too, but you're hungry an hour later...

05-14-2006, 06:33 AM
Knights are so very accommodating. They even provide their own spears for extracting them from their shell once they're cooked.

Ahem, those are actually toothpicks. ;)

05-14-2006, 07:28 AM
Now here we have a classic example of the "etiquette" part of the book. A Virginia dragon uses spears as toothpicks rather than a snail fork, whereas a Canadian dragon from my neck of the woods would, of course, use the knight's sword.

05-14-2006, 09:04 AM
Actually, I think that knights as entrees are highly overrated. What if you can't get all of that metal peeled off them? Ouch!

Virgins can be stringy, especially if they read 'Vogue.'

Peasants get a tangy and unpleasant taste when frightened. You know, all that adrenaline toughening the meat....

05-14-2006, 09:33 AM
And here's another question: Do lady dragons eat male virgins?

05-14-2006, 09:37 AM
Heh, heh, heh. Doesn't that depend on their sexual preference?

05-14-2006, 06:33 PM
And here's another question: Do lady dragons eat male virgins?

But of course they do. It's a "must" for Sunday brunch.

05-14-2006, 08:36 PM
I suppose dragons would also tend, as we do, to favour dishes based on the availability of the ingredients and so would have regional favourites. Northern dragons might well go for Shepherd Pie while Japanese dragons might like Sue-shi. And "fast food" would have an entirely different meaning.

05-16-2006, 06:53 AM
I take it that Olympic sprinters would fall into that catagory?