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YA Paranormal/Historical Urban Fantasy - Beta/CP needed

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AderuMoro

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Seeking a beta reader/critique partner for young adult paranormal/historical urban fantasy, ​The House with Two Faces. Approximately 91,000 words.

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Paula Mendez performs magic tricks on the foggy streets of San Francisco, dreaming of one day working on a ritzy stage. In the winter of 1920, the eighteen-year-old encounters black magic when she’s framed for beheading an innocent woman.

The true culprit? A witch’s head that occupied the corpse’s shoulders.

The head blackmails Paula into becoming the assistant of the city’s most famous magician. She’ll glitter in the limelight, blow kisses at adoring fans, live lavishly under a warm roof…

But the dream come true carries a steep price.

The theater shelters those who had fallen under the witch’s spells, and somewhere within lies her still-warm body. Paula must find it before its heart stops, or she and her new friends will lose their heads as well.

Here's a list of questions I'd like you to focus on:


  1. Did the story hold your interest from the very beginning? If not, why?
  2. Were you oriented fairly quickly at the beginning as to whose story it is, and where and when it takes place? If not, why?
  3. Did the setting interest you, and did the descriptions seem vivid and real to you?
  4. Is there anywhere the story started to lag or you became less than excited about finding out what was going to happen next? If so, where, and what suggestions do you have to make it more interesting?
  5. Were there any parts that confused you? Or even frustrated you? Do these parts need to be elaborated or cut out entirely? Which parts, and why?
  6. Did you notice any discrepancies or inconsistencies in time sequences, places, character details, or other details?
  7. Are the characters' motivations believable? If not, why?
  8. Could any of the characters be made more interesting or more likeable? How so?
  9. Did the dialogue keep your interest and sound natural to you? If not, whose dialogue did you think sounded artificial?
  10. Do you think the writing style suits the genre (YA paranormal/historical urban fantasy)? If not, why?


The first chapter is available here on Wattpad, and if you'd like to do a readalong, I've narrated the first chapter here.


If anyone is interested in a swap, let's exchange our first three chapters!

Keep in mind that I read most speculative young adult fiction. Please no contemporary or romance.

Please send me a private message if you're interested!
 
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