View Full Version : Beta/CP for 91K 1920's Inspired Fantasy

S. Eli
01-08-2017, 10:49 PM
And I'm willing to swap! I worked on this a while ago, and for the most part I just don't know what I want to do with it. There are a lot of directions that changes could go, and I hope a second/third pair of eyes would assist with this. So I'm looking for the basic read over with some extra attention to plot and consistency. Story has been combed through, so there shouldn't be any spelling errors, but I've been the only one to see it so there are probably some slips. I'm open to most genres, though I don't really like historical fiction.

Here's my query:

Zora Toomer is a witch that shouldn't be in the city. She's a recent runaway from her captor and monster of legend, the White Wax Witch, whose haunt is just past its borders. When she joined The Blackbird, a nightclub and assassin's guild, it was for the protection of its Matron. She was a witch in her own right, with her power reaching beyond magic and into the pockets of politicians everywhere.

Zora's plan was simple: to sever her connection to the White Wax Witch, all she had to do was butter up the Matron and get her to claim her with her witchcraft. But with The Blackbird a main player in the city's civil war, the Matron is in jeopardy. Without her, there is no witch powerful enough to handle Zora as their own. Zora must protect her to protect herself. Then she sees the real damage the Matron's business causes, and she realizes protecting the Matron might endanger more than her freedom is worth.

THE RISE AND FALL OF THE BLACKBIRD is a 91,000 word fantasy novel set in a mix of Gotham and the Harlem Renaissance.

Thanks to anyone who can help!