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Locke581
01-04-2017, 10:40 PM
Hello everyone,

I am humbly seeking out beta readers for the first chapter of the fantasy novel​ The Shapeshifter's Score. This selection runs about 5,500 words and has a PG-13 rating. If anyone is interested, either post here or PM me and I will send you a google docs link. I am open and willing to trade chapters. Eventually, I will put more up, but I am concentrating on chapter one right now.

I am not​ seeking line edits, but if you see something annoying, I won't be offended either.

Right now, I am looking for what works and grabs interest, and what does not. Do the characters present themselves in a clear manner, is the description too much or too little, is the plot so far clear and well paced, etc... All the things an agent will be looking for later, I guess. Please give it to me honest and straight. Harsh critiques hurt, but they also help writers grow the fastest.

I know this a lot to ask from strangers on the internet, so I offer up my thanks in advance.

My "current" pitch from Query Letter Hell is below. If there are any questions or comments on the letter, please post them within that subforum. Thanks again.




The Shapeshifter's Score
by Locke581


Attn: Pre-screened agent,


As an investigator specializing in magical mysteries, Mikcaell has seen plenty of weird cases. Slaying monsters and unraveling wizard conspiracies are all in a day's work. After many years in law enforcement, he can easily see when the facts don't add up. While working a missing persons case, Mikcaell cannot help hearing the latest gossip buzzing among the locals.


The raja's palace has been burglarized. Despite all the walls and guards, dozens of rooms were infiltrated, and no one saw a damn thing. Disgraced, the chief of security has been pushed aside. A third-rate thief is in custody, and under torture has confessed to acting alone. It's all nice and simple and completely far-fetched.


At first, Mikcaell is hesitant when the daughter of the chief of security begs him to clear her father's name. From past experience, he knows there's a lot of risk going up against this foreign court that has already bought this “lone thief” fiction. Mikcaell may take a lot of pride in his profession, but there's still little motivation for getting involved.


The raja's justice, however misguided, is swift. The lone suspect faces execution in the morning. Mikcaell launches a midnight investigation to halt the proceedings. He gathers eyewitness reports of guards showing up in two places at the same time, which can only mean shapeshifters. And the barracks that all fell asleep at once? Magical knock-out gas. But the deeper he digs into the incident, the stranger it gets. An ugly secret from a century past is slowly wriggling free. All across town, dozens of common thieves are dying from ghastly venomous bites, and countless other bodies are disappearing from their graves. Time is slipping away, and Mikcaell is just one wrong step from annoying the powers-that-be and reserving his own spot on the docket.


This multi-POV fantasy is complete at 92,000 words, and will appeal to readers of Scott's Thraxas​ series. Thank you for your consideration.



Sincerely,
Locke581

MisterV
01-05-2017, 02:35 AM
I will bite, if you interested in my abuse I mean advise. Seriously, that was autocorrect.

You can can read my blog to gain a good idea of how I write, although my only short story on there is NOT how I write fiction usually. My crit/beta read will be mostly from the perspective of a reader, not as a published author. I've also never done this before. You can say no and not offend me in the slightest.

Locke581
01-05-2017, 03:24 AM
I will bite, if you interested in my abuse I mean advise. Seriously, that was autocorrect.

You can can read my blog to gain a good idea of how I write, although my only short story on there is NOT how I write fiction usually. My crit/beta read will be mostly from the perspective of a reader, not as a published author. I've also never done this before. You can say no and not offend me in the slightest.

I sent a google docs link in a PM. Thank you in advance.

Locke581
01-24-2018, 05:39 AM
Bump.
A brand new query letter and lots of revisions later, I am putting up chapter one again. I am still open for chapter trades. Just as it says above, please post here or PM me if you are interested. Thank you for all your time and effort.

Rajaah
01-26-2018, 08:13 PM
I have never done beta reading per se and I am just getting to grips with writing my first novel. If you feel a beginner's experience is okay, feel free to share the link with me and I will get back to you on what I thought when reading the novel. chapter.

Locke581
01-26-2018, 10:03 PM
I have never done beta reading per se and I am just getting to grips with writing my first novel. If you feel a beginner's experience is okay, feel free to share the link with me and I will get back to you on what I thought when reading the novel. chapter.

I sent you a PM with a link. Thanks in advance for your time and effort. :-)