Blurt out a random newspaper headline

jiraiya-chan

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In light of the spate of depressing events in 2016, I thought it would be fun if we entertained ourselves with the most unhinged and craziest headlines imaginable.

Just as a word of caution, don't post anything too sensitive or political here. We have the current events section for a reason.

Also, please post imaginary headlines only. Nothing real or serious goes in here.

Here, I'll begin:
Budget airlines decide to remove seats for passengers.
USA: Child allergic to books sues publishers; US government announces a shutdown as books are banned nationwide.
 

jjdebenedictis

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Campus Wasp Nest Improves Wifi Reception, Halts Vandalism Problem
 

Jaymz Connelly

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Shock discovery - little green men aren't little - or green.
 

Jason

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McDonalds and Burger King bought out by In and Out Burger...being rebranded as McInKingOut
 

M.S. Wiggins

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Recent poll reveals everyone everywhere disgruntled with everything.
 

Chronic

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Established AW Member Acknowledges Newcomers Post

Film at 11

(Sorry, I know I'm being really unfair to a lot of the people in here but I couldn't resist. ;) )
 
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GailD

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SMALL MEDIUM AT LARGE!

Midget fortune-teller escapes police custody.







Okay, that wasn't original, but I thought it worth a chuckle.:)
 

Jason

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Smugglers caught trying to bring coffee in through routine cocaine channels