Writer Writerson Writing, Whining and Wickedness Thread

Hello, fellow writers!

I call you that, even though I know that a lot of you are published authors and I am just a newbie with some half-hearted attempts under my belt. But it feels good pretending!

What also feels good is the humiliation that follows failure. And there is no better way of getting that sweet taste of burning tears on your cheeks than to fail in public.

So that's what I am going to do: I will use this thread to document my missed deadlines, decline in quality, and descent into madness.

My Grand Master Plan is to write a fantasy novel with a racy touch, and to publish it chapter by chapter on one of those online sites for such stories.

My Grand Master Time Table is to publish one chapter at the start of each month until everyone starts living happily ever after. Or they all die from some STD or something.

My Grand Master Chapter Length Lower Bound Restriction is at least 10.000 words per chapter.

This means I will be publishing Chapter 1 at the start of January, Chapter 2 at the start of February, Chapter 3 at the start... Yes, even I get the picture now.

The Grand Master Plan doesn't say how many chapters the novel will have. So I can't, much like the generals of 1914, claim to be home by Christmas without making a serious fool of myself.

Without further ado, I hereby set the Plan in motion.

Stay tuned for the first excuse for failing to deliver on time! ;-)

So, I guess it's time for the update you have all been waiting so eagerly for. Except, of course, you did not know there was going to be updates. Be one update, at least. There's plenty of opportunities to quit coming up!

Current status: Around the 2/3 mark of the first chapter.

Quantitative Estimate of Completion: Just ahead of Santa Claus.

This time I thought I would present the Great Novel, as I call it when I am alone and no-one can hear me.

The story is an erotic fantasy story, and the E word implies that I should present a bowdlerized version of certain parts of the book. Please let me know if they are not bowdlerized enough!

The story starts with a man being brought from our world to a fairyland in order to set things right! And he will set things right by getting to know a lot of women. These women won't be pushovers, though, and he will soon find himself in a more servile position than he might have expected. That is, if he did expect to end up in fairyland in the first place. Most of us don't. That was the racy part right there.

He finds himself part of a war between some people who are nice, and some who are not so nice. I know this is an unusual twist in a fantasy story, but I can promise you that everything will be very familiar and full of all the age-old cliches. The jury is still out on hippie elves, fire-breathing dragons and phallic unicorns, but I can guarantee magic swords and cackling, mad wizards.

2nd Update

It's time for the second update.

I have, to use tech speak, reached the first tentative, beta milestone:

The draft of the first chapter of the Great Novel is done! Clocking in at 23 scenes of... Mostly the monologue of a sad and lonely man whom bad things happen to.

It's, as you might have guessed, autobiographical.

I have about ten days to make it even sadder before I can send it in to my publisher. My publisher in this being a website. Beggars can't be choosers.

After that I will start chapter 2. Chapter 2 will have lots of action. I promise. And sex. Between more than one person.

Stay tuned!

Chapter 1 submitted!

Wow!

I finally did it. I submitted Chapter 1 of the Great Novel to Literotica!

Now all I have to do is wait and pretend like it's the unopened Christmas presents that make me nervous. It's not like sending in your manuscripts to a publisher, the story will basically only be checked to see if it washed itself behind the ears, but it's still a big step for me.

In the meantime I have plotted out Chapter 2, and I hope to be able to start it during the holidays.

Merry Christmas, everyone!!!