Moving from Ten Minute Plays to full length plays

Doug B · Apr 30, 2006

I have been involved in Community Theater for many, many years. I consider myself an actor, a director and a producer although most of my work over the past five or ten years has been directing and producing. I began writing Ten Minute Plays because I thought it was a good way to learn the play writing business and now have dozens of short plays. I have a group of friends in the theater that critique my work, have had readings and workshops and recently a local theater has selected nine of them for production this summer.

I have been trying to graduate to full length plays but find it a daunting task. Full length plays are so much more complex than ten minute plays that I can't seem to get off the starting block. I have tried outlining and just going for it but I always seem to drop back into my comfort zone: Two or three characters with a short term issue that gets resolved in a few pages.

Any suggestions?

alleycat · May 1, 2006

I was going to let others reply since the two full-length plays I’ve written have never been produced (I actually haven’t tried to do anything with them), but, since no one else is responding I have some ideas that might help.

Rather than trying to post one big reply and shoehorn everything in, I’ll send you my e-mail addresses. We can chat or go from there if you’d like. I’ve written a few plays (I’m working on some ten-minutes ones at the moment) and enjoy going to the plays staged in my area, but I don’t claim to be an expert. Still, I might be able to help.

ac

endless rewrite · May 1, 2006

Hi Doug

You have been involved in directing and acting in full length plays for such a considerable amount of time that you've have done the groundwork by reading and analyzing plays and that in itself should give you a valuable insight into what makes a story work within a full length structure. Ask yourself, why particular plays worked better than others? What plays inspired you as a director and actor by giving you enough 'white space' to explore?

Your starting point has to be your characters. What do they want and what is in the way? Without conflict there can be no drama, without drama you have no interest or development. What obstacles are in your characters way? What is preventing them/complicating their journey both externally and internally?

I am not a huge fan of structure formats; you know this has to happen by page blah blah blah. I think it is necessary for writing screenplays but less expected for theatre. But it may help you to think in terms of a three or even two act structure without getting hung up on all the theory. Simply, how could your story be best developed in stages? Or even think in terms of physical time and setting for those stages.

If I could give a really simple example, the play I am working on now is set in real time, (a first for me) in a pub during the weekly quiz. To help me with structure I did something very basic and split the acts along real time within the three sections of the play.
act 1 - pre quiz and first round
act 2 - second round of quiz (intensify things to a point that by the interval people are curious enough not to leave! - god, please no)
act 3 (after interval) final round/consequence and fallout.

It may not be that technical but I look at it this way: What structure does my story best lend itself to? One play I did was about plastic surgery. I kept is a two acts (pre and post surgery) it seemed a simple way to help me structure which fitted the idea. As well as looking for a structure that fits the story you are telling you have to ensure that there are sufficient layers within the story and characters to sustain interest and time.

Before I even worry about structure or even think about writing the first draft, I spend a lot of time with my characters. What makes them tick? What do they want? What are they afraid of? Keep a diary for them, sketch out their back story etc. Spend a few weeks doing this and you will have more than enough layers and ideas to weave into a full length play. It also ensures that their voice is truly theirs by the time you come to write and not just a voice piece for the writer to express their ideas or tell a story.

If you do enough thinking and developing time with the people in your story before you start shoving them into acts and scenes you should end up throwing out ideas rather than filling in. If your characters are underdeveloped it is unlikely you will have enough subtext to explore for 90 minutes let alone a developed theme.

The one book I would recommend for honest, experienced and useful advice in how to construct and build both characters and story is:

Playwrighting -a practical guide by Noel Greig (Routledge)

Let us know how you go on and best of luck.

Maryn · May 6, 2006

alleycat said:
I was going to let others reply since the two full-length plays I’ve written have never been produced (I actually haven’t tried to do anything with them), but, since no one else is responding I have some ideas that might help.

Rather than trying to post one big reply and shoehorn everything in, I’ll send you my e-mail addresses. We can chat or go from there if you’d like. I’ve written a few plays (I’m working on some ten-minutes ones at the moment) and enjoy going to the plays staged in my area, but I don’t claim to be an expert. Still, I might be able to help.

ac

I bet I'm not the only person who hopes that any such discussion isn't in the privacy of email but in public, where we might all learn a thing or two, or make a small contribution.

Maryn, just saying is all

endless rewrite · May 6, 2006

Agrees with Maryn, plus a response or follow up would be nice once you've asked for input but thats the playwriting thread for you.

alleycat · May 6, 2006

Maryn said:
I bet I'm not the only person who hopes that any such discussion isn't in the privacy of email but in public, where we might all learn a thing or two, or make a small contribution.

Maryn, just saying is all

Well, Doug and I have exchanged a few VERY LONG e-mails, just batting things back and forth. I'll willing to share but it's kind of up to Doug since it's his play. We didn't mean to make anything a secret, it just seemed like no one else cared all that much. I've not sure what anyone else can learn; this really is a case of the blind leading the near-sighted.

ac

By the way, my grandma was blind. So no offense meant to anyone who actually is blind. Sorry.

Maryn · May 6, 2006

Thanks, Alleycat. I didn't mean to suggest you all were hiding all the good stuff. It's just a shame to know there's actual playwrighting conversation going on around the corner, where we can't see it!

Maryn, who hasn't seen this much activity here in ages

Doug B · May 7, 2006

Alleycat: Fine with me if you want to post our e-mails. As you said, they are long but I think they might actually be worth reading, they sure were to me. After you post them, I'll post my latest thoughts.

I had a chance to visit with a good friend of mine who has had his first book published and has been on the road promoting it for the last year and is starting back out to promote the paperback version of it. He cautioned me that if I share too much someone else may take my work and use it themselves. This is my first internet "sharing" so this is all new to me. Any thoughts on someone taking my work?

alleycat · May 7, 2006

Hi Doug,

I don't have the first e-mail I sent you here at home; I sent that one from the office. It would probably be best if I posted that, along with the one I sent you Friday. I might shorten it up a bit before I do. I'll wait until tomorrow to decide. Have you done any more work on the play? Do you think you're getting to the point where you're "on your way" to doing the full-length play and not wanting to fall back into "short play" mode?

Some people worry about someone stealing their work. I always look at it this way, if I wanted to steal something, why steal an unpublished work in progress? I could go to the library, find a well-written book that no one has probably heard of, change the details and submit it. Frankly though, I think someone who is lazy and dishonest enough to steal someone's else work, is probably too lazy to do the work it would take to "make it their own" and go through the whole process of getting it published. Just my opinion. Still, if you're uncomfortable, you can post only parts of your work or the areas you think you'd like to get comments on. You might want to think about posting in the Share Your Work thread, which is "password protected" -- and since it is, putting it there means it won't be considered as being published online. And webcrawlers can't read it either.

ac

endless rewrite · May 7, 2006

Hi Doug

I wouldn't worry about somebody stealing your play, if you thought like that you would never send anything out. As soon as you start work on developing an idea your paperwork/computer files act as a record for copyright.

Also, it's always nice to at least acknowledge efforts to assist in response to your post asking for help rather than worry about us stealing your work. Sorry if that sounds narky but really...

Doug B · May 7, 2006

Thanks for the comments. I'm not going to worry about it either. Yes, I have done more work on it - as soon as you (AlleyCat) post the old e-mails I'll add my new stuff at the end. Feel free to edit it any way you want. I have a working outline now and have started writing. I haven't read any of it yet - I want to keep writing while it works then I will look it over for content. The real secret was breaking it into a number of scenes. As I defined each scene the characters emerged. I used characters that I have drawn up for the ten minute plays. Now it looks like series of ten to fifteen minute plays. Each scene has a beginning, middle and end and each forms part of the beginning, middle and end of the entire play. I am part way through the first scene. It is taking me in some unplanned directions and looks like it may end up being the combination of two scenes from my outline.

AlleyCat: You will see a lot of your suggestions in what I post. Thanks.

I have a show opening next Friday so I will be tied up most of the week getting the show up and running.

Maryn · May 7, 2006

Cool! Thanks to you both for agreeing to share. I look forward to seeing it, when you have the time to get it posted. No rush; we're used to things moving slowly at this board.

Maryn, fairly slow herself

endless rewrite · May 7, 2006

Good luck with the show Doug, I'm looking forwrd to seeing your new play progress.

alleycat · May 10, 2006

BY POPULAR DEMAND (OKAY, TWO OF YOU), THIS IS A SLIGHTLY EDITED AND SHORTENED VERSION OF THE EXHANGE DOUG AND I HAVE HAD ABOUT THE FULL-LENGTH PLAY HE'S WORKING ON. ANYTHING IN ALL-CAPS IS ADDED JUST FOR THIS POST. DOUG FIRST SENT ME AN E-MAIL AND INCLUDED A COUPLE OF HIS SHORT PLAYS AS EXAMPLES. I READ ONE OF THEM AND REPLIED . . .(I TOLD DOUG TO FORGIVE MY TYPOS AND ANYONE ELSE SHOULD TOO, I TYPED MY RESPONSES QUICKLY AND THEY WERE MEANT ONLY AS AN INFORMAL DISCUSSION BETWEEN DOUG AND MYSELF). THIS IS GOING TO BE ONE LONG POST. DOUG CAN CORRECT ANY MISTAKES I'VE MADE ABOUT THE DISCUSSION.

Just to get the ball rolling, here’s some ideas that might help you in doing a full-length play. These are just my ideas. I sometimes do things differently according to what I’m writing; for example, I do more plotting if I’m writing a mystery than a general fiction story since there’s an expectation that mystery readers have about clues and suspects being planted along the way. I try to keep in mind that plot and character are flip sides of the same coin.

Here’s kind of a step-by-step description of how I might begin a play (you might go about things completely different). This is a little artificial. I usually have an idea or premise or interesting character occur to me, and then I play around with it in the back of my head until I have the basis of the story and then I write it. Or try to.

Your play, A Night at the Movie, might make me think I’d like to do a play about relationships (a universal theme), so I’ll go with that and just describe how I might work it out.

My “starter idea” might be that romantic relationships are difficult. I wouldn’t consider this my controlling idea just yet, just a premise. I would think about the “point-counterpoint” or “positive/negative” component of the premise since few things in life are all good or all bad.

Idea: Relationships are difficult.

Positive: Yes, relationships are difficult but the genuine love between two people is one of the greatest things one can experience, it’s worth it even when you something get hurt or frustrated or experience an emotional roller-coaster. Love conquers all.

Negative: Damn right relationships are difficult. Someone always end up getting hurt. It’s better not to get serious about anyone; they’ll just let you down in the end. And marriage? That’s worse than prison. I prefer to kept my relationships casual (hey, sex is sex) and not get serious about anyone.

I would play around with these ideas a little more if I was really doing a play, but I think I can make them work here.

I have a premise and I know vaguely how I’m going to play it. I would then think of how to show it. First thought, a young couple: One thinks of the positive, the other of the negative. That might work, or it might be too much of a cliché – and is it enough for a full-length play? I could have a bunch of friends sitting around discussing their relationship problems. I could have a character finding “the answer” from someone older or wiser. I could turn things on its head. I could use all of these ideas. As a playgoer, I know I want at least one character that I can empathize with, or one that I can boo and hiss and root against, in an interesting or thought provoking situation. I also want something fresh and original--a new twist on the theme. I’ll assume I want to do a three-act play, and use a classic beginning, middle and end.

Leaping ahead a bit, I might block out some ideas and see what happens. Nothing is written in stone yet. I’ll make up characters and give them depth as I go along.

Okay, I have an idea (whether it’s good or bad at this point, I don’t know). A young, attractive couple who’ve been together for a year (this would give me the chance to play off my two ideas). Call them Paul and Suzanne. Their relationship has been good but doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. Paul is fine with things the way they are, Suzanne is beginning to be frustrated. Something is going to have to change; either they move forward or call it quits (tension). Now I need a situation or inciting incident that causes things to come to a head. One idea that seem workable to me is to have Paul and Suzanne going to a wedding for friends of theirs. I might roughly block out the acts and see what they look like.

ACT I. Setting: Suzanne’s apartment. Paul waits as Suzanne gets ready to go to a small, dinner for their friends Ethan and Caroline the night before Ethan and Caroline are to get married. Paul makes a casual comment about how stupid Ethan is for getting married . . . which sets Suzanne off. What about THEIR relationship? They bicker back and forth but don’t come to any understanding. They end up leaving for the wedding dinner barely speaking to one another. [LOOKING BACK, THIS BY ITSELF MIGHT BE HARD TO MAKE INTO ACT I, I MIGHT COMBIME ELEMENTS FROM THE ACT II I SHOW BELOW. BUT, THIS WAS JUST A QUICK EXAMPLE.]

ACT II. Setting: The location of the dinner. Having drinks before. After greeting others guests, Suzanne is left alone with Caroline. Suzanne is happy for Caroline and tries to pretend everything is fine but can’t help voicing her concerns that the same happiness will never happen to her and Paul. Why is it that SHE has never gotten married? Why is love so hard? She has secretly longed for a “white knight” and a beautiful wedding since she was a little girl. Caroline understands and tries to cheer her up. They are interrupted by Miriam, who has already had to much to drink. Miriam has her own ideas about marriage. Hell, she went through four husbands, she ought to know a thing or two about it (a little comic relief). Suzanne’s dilemma is left unresolved as. . .

Suzanne and Caroline are pulled away to greet other guests. Paul and Ethan strike up a conversation. Ethan is beginning to have second thoughts about getting married. Paul is put in the rather odd place of having to point out the great things about being married. You’re such a lucky man, he tell him. At first Paul is just saying platitudes but it begins to dawn on him that he really believe what he’s saying. Has he just been too afraid to confront his own fears of commitment? Is he using the divorce of his own parents as an excuse? And most importantly, is he ever likely to meet someone like Suzanne? I’d have to find the right dialogue to portray this.

ACT III . . .

I better stop there. I’m not sure whether this is what you needed to discuss, or whether it helps. I’ll wait to continue until I hear from you. My next step would be to block out the acts with their own beginning, middle and end; or their own sequence of events. You can almost think of these scenes as being their own little mini-plays. Maybe that would help you. Think of your full-length play as being a series of short play with one controlling idea and, probably, the same characters.

DOUG THEN SENT ME HIS IDEA FOR A PLAY. I'VE SOMEHOW DELETED THAT E-MAIL, SO I CAN'T INCLUDE IT; IT WAS THE STORY OF TWO CHARACTERS NAMED CATHY AND HALL AND INVOLVED OTHER FRIENDS AND MEMBERS OF THEIR FAMILY. THE PREMISE DOUG GAVE WAS "LOVE MAKES THE WORLD GO ROUND, BUT FAMILY IS EVERYTHING". DOUG MENTIONED THAT IT WAS JUST A START AND THAT IT MIGHT BE HARD TO STAGE. I REPLIED THIS WAY:

I'm glad my last e-mail helped. Of course, my little example of starting a play would need a lot of more work to make it work.

I took what you sent me and blocked it out this way:

-Hal and Cathy meet at Jeff and Lottie's wedding.

-Hal meets Cathy's family.

-Hal goes to help his father and finds that his father barely recognizes him now.

-Hal meets Cathy's real father who shares his tender memories of life with Cathy's mother.

-Cathy and Lottie talk. Lottie is finding marriage different from she expected; it makes Cathy rethink her own plans.

-Hal comes back, ready to get married but, for some strange reason, Cathy puts out off until finally Hal walks out.

-Cathy, Abby, Lottie and Lesley meet and each discusses discuss their problems and their disillusions with how they expected things to turn out.

-Phil has a heart attack and is saved by Lesley.

Months later . . .

-Phil has died. Hal and Cathy are sill seeing each other, but the relationship is strained. Cathy needs to be at her mother's side (or is it just an excuse?)

-Hal goes to see his father, taking Cathy with him. Seeing Hal relationship with his father gives Cathy a new insight on Hal.

-Hal gets Cathy to meet her father after years apart. Don gets Cathy to understand his regrets over his failed marriage to Abby.

-Cathy decides to marry after all.

-Don and Abby meet at the wedding. At first they fall back into their old patterns of squabbling but then they experience a moment that reminds them both of the good times they had. They decide to try again.

-Abby and Don join Cathy and Hal in getting married.

When I look at your storyline, I see a different theme than yours. I would state it something like: "Loving someone is a risk and not always easy, but in the end, it is a risk worth taking."

Here's some comments I had, mostly these are just "what-ifs" and not suggestions. One or two things did seem to be a big enough problem that I did make a suggestion. These are an eclectic mix of comments, some of them assumes one thing, some assume a different idea.

*It does seem a little complicated and hard to stage. You're more of an expert on that than I am, however. To simplify the settings I might use the following:

-The open dining / kitchen area at Abby's house (stage left) – this would be a natural place for the women to talk, and a possible location for scenes between Cathy and Hal. And maybe a heart-to-heart talk between granny (as she sneaks a shot of gin) and Cathy.

-Don's rather forlorn-looking apartment – this could be the location when Don talks about his marriage to Abby, as well as the place he and Cathy get back together.

-The den (or living room) at Abby's house (stage right) – this would be a good place for scenes with Cathy and Hal, as well as Don and Abby.

*I think you could simplify the beginning of the play. There's a number of ways you could do this.

What if . . . they women are planning Lottie's (Lesley's?) wedding. A scene in the kitchen. There could be lots of movement with this, as well as granny putting in her two-cents worth. The conversation naturally turns to Cathy and her life, why she hasn't gotten married yet, etc. The audience would get a chance to "meet" Cathy and feel for her.

What if . . .instead, the women are planning Cathy and Hal's wedding? Scene one would be the women, scene two would be with Cathy and Hal (Hal implies he's having second thoughts).

What if . . . the first scene is the women in the kitchen, Lottie has recently gotten married (and is still emotionally on her honeymoon -- "life IS a bowl of cherries!"); the conversation naturally falls on when Cathy and Hal are getting married. Scene two would have Hal entering and everyone but he and Cathy exiting. "Do we really want to get married," Hal asked? Cathy is hurt and confused, etc.

*The subplot of Abby and Don almost overshadows the story of Cathy and Hal. I think you might think about doing this intentionally (a double storyline), or moving Don and Abby's story to the back a bit. I'm not sure, just something to think about.

*What if you dropped the Bill character? He's only there to show Hal cares about the people close to him. It could be shown as easily some other way.

*What if you combined Lesley and Lottie into one character? Just a thought.

*I'd dropped the business about going to Florida; it just seems to needlessly complicate the plot and staging. There's no reason Bill couldn't just live across town and serve the same purpose.

*What if you dropped the Phil character and had Abby living alone now after her divorce from Don? Instead of Phil having a heart attack, Abby herself could have some kind of heath issue.

*I like the granny character; I can see you using her for more than one scene as long as you don't turn her into a cliche.

*Do you need to make it months later? How about days later. That might actually make it easier for Abby and Don to get back together (Abby would be "needy" and Don would be glad to take care of Abby). Again, just a thought.

*I did think the ending was more appropriate for a "light drama" or comedy - What if Cathy and Hal do decide to get married while Abby and Don merely agree to try again? The "let's all get married" moment seems like a TV movie ending. Just my feeling about it.

Anyway, I'll stop there for now. I sort of blocked out my own version of the acts and scenes in my head but I wanted to get your response to the comments above first. Again, these are just my thoughts, you can take what you want and leave the rest and it won't hurt my feelings in the least.

NOW, I WONDER WHO ACTUALLY READ ALL OF THAT . . .

ANY COMMENTS?

ac

Doug B · May 10, 2006

Here is the outline I am working from:

It’s All About Family (Working title)

How do Hal and Cathy meet?

Wedding?
Funeral?
Student of Don’s coming to offer condolences?
Bar?
*Blind Date?
Old Age Home?
Chance Encounter?

What is the set?

Living room/kitchen of house?
Bar?
Restaurant? Problem with blocking - very static scenes
Old Age home?
Wedding Venue?
* Cathy’s Small Apartment?

Set: Cathy’ small apartment

Cast: Use characters developed in Ten Minute Plays

Cathy: 20's or 30's Cute. Professional chef.
Hal: 20's or 30's Aspiring writer
Abby 50's Mother of Cathy
Lesley 30's Sister of Cathy
Granny 70's Mother of Abby
Don 50's Ex of Abby, father of Cathy and Lesley
Bill 70's Grandfather of Hal
Jeff 30's Husband of Lesley

S1
Dinner at Cathy’s
We learn that:
Jeff and Lesley recently married - bloom is still on.
Cathy is a professional cook and loves to have people over to test new meals
(This is how we get by with one set - all scenes are dinner at Cathy’s)
Cathy has invited Jeff and Lesley over to dinner
They are bringing Hal over - Blind Date
Hal and Cathy hit it off
Hal and Cathy will meet again very soon

S2
Hal and Cathy have dinner together -
We learn that:
Hal is looking for fun
Cathy is looking for a serious relationship
Hal’s family is not close. Cathy’s is very close
Hal hasn’t seen his father in years
Hal is a writer not very successful
Hal is under consideration for a commission piece in Scotland
He would be gone a year if he gets it
Hal and Cathy agree to have dinner with Bill

S3
Granny, Abby, Lesley and Cathy have dinner a week later
We learn that:
Granny says she is not hungry but eats off everyone else’s plate
Cathy tells everyone about Hal
Phil (Abby’s husband) died a little while ago
Granny is a little crazy
Lesley is happily married
Abby is lonely, wondering about her lost love Don
Cathy and Lesley decide to find a man to fix their mother up with

S4
Hal and Cathy have dinner with Bill
Learn that:
Bill’s short term memory is gone
Hal becomes very frustrated with Bill
Cathy calms him down
Hal comes to learn to love and accept Bill

S5
Hal and Cathy have dinner with Jeff and Lesley a month later
We learn that:
Lesley is less enchanted with marriage
Jeff loves being married.
Jeff did not get the promotion
Cathy decides not to press the wedding idea
Hal decides to ask Cathy to marry him
Cathy tells him she in not ready to get married
Lesley and Cathy talk about their father, Don
Cathy hasn’t seen him in years
Hal convinces her to see Don

S6
Hal and Cathy have dinner with Don
We learn that:
Hal has been hired for the commission
Will leave for Scotland in several weeks
Don is still in love with Abby
Don tells of great love and youth that spelled doom for their marriage
Don tells funny stories about him and Abby
Cathy changes her mind about Hal
Hal and Cathy decide to get married

S7
The Wedding
We learn that:
The family gathers at Cathy’s before the wedding
Will be a simple wedding at the court house before they leave for Scotland
Bill and Granny can actually carry on a conversation (at least they think they can)
Cathy has arranged for Abby and Don to arrive early to meet each other
Abby and Don decide to get back together on a trial basis
Lesley and Jeff have worked out their problems and are happily married
Cathy and Hal are getting married and moving to Scotland.
Everyone leaves for the wedding at the end.
Granny helps Bill
Lesley and Jeff leave, very much in love
Abby and Don hold hands as they leave
Hal and Cathy kiss as the lights come down.

Doug B · May 10, 2006

Current status

After those two long posts, here is the current status of the play:

Last weekend I wrote the first scene. As it worked out, it actually was a combination of the first two scenes. As usual, it took me in a couple of new directions. It was a lot more about Bill than I anticipated. I have not edited it at all. I have the feeling that by the time I finish the first draft of the play, Scene 1 will need a lot of changes.

I had a few minutes Monday to think about the next scene. I want to write the Cathy, Lesley, Abby and Granny dinner but for some reason my thoughs keep going the the Cathy, Hal, Bill Scene.

I am too busy now to do much but think about it. I should get back to it early next week.

As soon as I find out where to post it, I will share the first scene.

And thanks to AlleyCat - I used many of his suggestions.

Doug

Doug B · May 10, 2006

Act I, Scene 1

It’s All About Family

A Full Length Play

By Doug Bechtel
(Original 5/7/06)

Set: Cathy’ small apartment. The style of the apartment is 20 to 30 years old but the furnishings are contemporary. At Left against the wall is a small bar with several bottles and glasses on it. There is a love seat Left Center with a coffee table in front of it. There is a dining table Down Right that can seat four people where they can be seen by the audience. The front door is Up Left. Up Center is a door to the bedroom and bathroom. There is a door to the kitchen on the Right wall just up stage of the dining table. The apartment is decorated with paintings of food and table settings.

Cast:
Cathy: 20's or 30's Cute. Professional chef.
Hal: 20's or 30's Aspiring writer
Abby 50's Mother of Cathy
Lesley 30's Sister of Cathy
Granny 70's Mother of Abby
Don 50's Ex of Abby, father of Cathy and Lesley
Bill 70's Grandfather of Hal
Jeff 30's Husband of Lesley

Act I, Scene 1

At Rise: The dining table is set for dinner for four. The table settings are far more elegant than would be expected in an apartment as small as this one. There are hors d’oeuvres on the coffee table in front of the sofa. Cathy, Lesley and Jeff are at the bar as Cathy opens and pours a bottle of wine.

Cathy: So who’s this guy you’re fixing me up with?

Jeff: Hi name is Hal. He’s a writer. I think he’s pretty good, at least he makes a living at it.

Lesley: He’s cute. (Jeff and Lesley cross to sofa, Jeff sits on the SR seat, Lesley on the SL seat. Cathy crosses and turns chair from the dining table to sit on.)

Cathy: Cute, as in “he’s cute but not really good looking?”

Lesley: Cute as in “he’s hot.”

Jeff: Just give him a chance. He’s a good guy. I’ve known him since high school.

Lesley: What’s for dinner?

Cathy: Something new I’m trying out for the restaurant. It’s . . . . (to be filled in later)

Jeff: Sounds good. I’m hungry. Got to keep my energy up. (Smiles at Lesley).

Cathy: Let me see how it’s coming. (Starts for kitchen. Knock at front door.) That must be, what’s his name? Oh Hal. Why don’t you let him in? (Exits to kitchen.)

Jeff: (Crosses and opens door.) Hi Hal. Come on in.

Hal: Hi. (Enters, shakes hands with Jeff then crosses to Lesley.) Hi Lesley. (He gives her a hug.)

Lesley: Hi.

Cathy: (Enters from kitchen.)

Jeff: Cathy, let me introduce Hal MacGregor. Hal, Cathy Thompson. You should remember each other from our wedding. (Hal and Cathy shake hands.)

Cathy: Hi, Hal. I remember you. You were a groomsman at the wedding weren’t you?

Hal: Hello. Yes, I was. You were the Maid of Honor?

Cathy: Right. We were just having a glass of wine. Care to join us?

Hal: No, thanks. I don’t believe in drinking.

Cathy: Oh?

Hal: Just kidding. I’d love a glass of wine.

Cathy: Red or white?

Hal: What ever you are having.

Cathy: Red, it is.

Hal: I’d really like white.

Cathy: Are you sure?

Hal: No. I’d like red.

Cathy: Make up your mind.

Hal: I did. I’ll have red.

Cathy: Are you sure?

Hal: I’m sure.

Cathy: Go ahead and sit down. (During the next part, Hal sits on the chair that Cathy has previously turned, Cathy pours Hal a glass of wine and takes it to him and sits on the SL arm of the sofa near Lesley.) Jeff tells me you are a writer.

Hal: Yes, I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. Jeff said you are a chef?

Cathy: Yes, I opened the Main Street Bistro a couple of years ago and it caught on.

Hal: That’s the one between Third and Rogers?

Cathy: Yes.

Hal: I’ve eaten there several times. It’s very good. I like it a lot.

Cathy: Thanks.

Hal: (To Jeff.) How’s married life treating you?

Jeff: Love it!!

Hal: How’s he treating you Lesley?

Lesley: (Smiles.) He’s the nicest guy I ever married.

Jeff: Of course, I’m the only guy she ever married. (They hold hands.)

Lesley: Having been married for all of two weeks and four days, I can strongly recommend it.

Cathy: You lived together for two years. Why is being married so different?

Lesley: I’m not sure I can explain it. But somehow, it is a deeper relationship. A stronger sense of commitment to it.

Jeff: I don’t know how to put it either but it feels very different.

Cathy: Let me check on dinner. It should be about ready. Les, why don’t you refill the wine glasses then you can all sit at the table. (Hands Lesley her glass.)

Jeff: Where do you want us to sit?

Cathy: Wherever you want. Just leave me the chair closest to the kitchen so I can run. (Exits.)

Hal: Where is the bathroom? I need to wash up.

Lesley: Thru the door, (points to UC door) then first door on the right.

Hal: (Exits.)

Jeff: (Crosses to table and sits in SL chair with two glasses of wine). Seems to be going good so far. At least your sister hasn’t bitten his head off.

Lesley: (She sits just to the right of Jeff.) She only did that once and the guy deserved it.

Cathy: (Enters with two large plates containing dinner. Sees the empty seat for Hal next to her and makes a face at Lesley.)

Hal: (Reenters.) Smells wonderful.

Cathy: You’ll learn that eating at Casa Cathy means testing new things for the restaurant.

Hal: Casa Cathy?

Lesley: Here. We hardly ever go out for dinner any more. Cathy loves to try new recipes so we always have fun things to eat.

Hal: If I had to cook for myself, I’d starve.

Jeff: Same here but Lesley is a real good cook too.

Cathy: I forgot to ask. You’re not vegetarian are you?

Hal: No. I’ll eat just about anything. What are we having?

Cathy: Poached snails with anchovy sauce on a bed of dandelion greens.

Hal: Really?

Cathy: No. It’s _______________________. (Passes the plate to Hal.)

Hal: Thanks. I was getting worried.

Cathy: Tell us something about yourself.

Hal: What do you want to know?

Cathy: I don’t know. What about your family?

Hal: The only close family I have is my Grandfather. He lives at Sunshine Village. I have some aunts and uncles who live in Florida.

Lesley: What about your parents?

Hal: They were killed in a car wreck when I was ten. I was raised by my grandparents.

Cathy: Sunshine Village? How is your grandfather doing?

Hal: O.K. I guess. I haven’t seen him in a while.

Cathy: Why not?

Hal: His memory is pretty much gone. It is impossible to carry on a conversation with him.

Cathy: That’s no reason not to see him. Does he recognize you?

Hal: Yes.

Cathy: All the more reason to see him.

Hal: Now tell me about your family.

Cathy: Our mother has a house on the North side. She lives with my grandmother. Granny is really a character. She keeps everyone hopping.

Hal: How often do you see them?

Cathy: Several times a week. We are very close.

Hal: And your father?

Cathy: My real father lives in Bridgeport. I was raised by my stepfather, Phil, but he died a year and a half ago.

Hal: Do you see your real father?

Cathy: From time to time but we were never very close. (Rises.) Who’s ready for dessert?

Jeff: Well, what do you think?

Hal: She seems nice enough.

Jeff: (To Lesley.) I told you!!!

Hal: (To Lesley.) I never realized that your family was so close.

Lesley: It always has been. I couldn’t imagine not having family around.

Cathy: (Reenters with two small plates.) Me either. (Hands plates to Jeff and Lesley. Exits back into the kitchen.)

Hal: (To Jeff.) What about your family?

Jeff: My family is all back East so I don’t get to see them very often.

Cathy: (Reenters with two small plates for her and Hal.)

Hal: My family was very close. After my parents died, I went to live with my grandparents and was pretty close to them too. After my grandmother died my grandfather and I just sort of drifted apart and now that he has dementia, I can’t handle seeing him.

Cathy: You still need to see him. Now more than ever.

Lesley: When he dies, you are not going to have any family so make the most of it while you can.

Hal: It’s just so hard to sit there and try to have a conversation with him.

Cathy: Bring him over to dinner some time and I’ll help you entertain him.

Hal: (Doubtful.) Maybe.

Jeff: Tell him about Granny.

Lesley: Granny is a stitch. She has all these idiosyncracies. Like eating. She always says she isn’t hungry then she eats off everyone’s plate. She isn’t even subtle about it.

Cathy: She has these pills she is supposed to take. She thinks she fools everyone but she dumps the water out and fills her glass with Gin then uses that to take her pills. I have a bottle of gin that I set out every time she comes over so she can sneak some of it.

Jeff: Tell him about the time she called the cops.

Lesley: She calls 911 to report that one of her neighbors is walking around naked.

Cathy: When the cop gets there, she shows him that she has to stand on a chair, look over the garage roof and into her neighbor’s second story bed room.

Lesley: Her eye sight is so bad that she has use binoculars.

Cathy: Anyway, the cop told the neighbor to make sure his blinds were drawn before he got undressed.

Lesley: But to hear Granny tell it, you would think she helped capture Osama Bin Laden.

Jeff: Hal, tell us something funny about your Grandfather.

Hal: You know, I never thought of him as a funny person. He could build anything or fix anything. He was amazing.

Cathy: Is amazing.

Hal: Yeah, I guess. You don’t know how hard it is to deal with him now. How hard it is for me to see how much this great man has failed.

Cathy: (Puts her hand on his arm or hand.) I understand.

Hal: (Puts his hand on hers.) Thanks. It’s hard to watch someone who you love and have had the most respect for slowly lose his ability to think. I understand the changing of roles between parent and child but it is something very different when it actually happens to someone you love.

Cathy: Remember my offer to have both of you to dinner.

Hal: I won’t. He will probably want to go out to dinner. He has hundreds of coupons, mostly expired years ago, that he likes to use.

Jeff: Well, we need to get going. (Rises.)

Lesley: (Smiles.) He acts like we never lived together before. (All rise. Cross to front door.)

Jeff: Need a ride, Hal?

Hal: No thanks. I have my car. Thanks a lot for dinner, Cathy. It was delicious. I better get going too.

Cathy: Would you like to stay for a few minutes and have some coffee?

Hal: (Pause.) Yes, I think I would.

Hugs and goodbyes as Jeff and Lesley exit. Hal crosses back to the sofa and sits. Cathy gets two cups of coffee from kitchen.

Cathy: Tell me about your writing.

Hal: What do you want to know?

Cathy: Have you written anything I might have read?

Hal: Probably not. Most of what I get paid for writing are travel articles for in-flight magazines and the bigger travel magazines. I am working on the Great American Novel but not making a lot of progress on it.

Cathy: What’s the novel about?

Hal: (Hal moves closer to Cathy and tries to kiss her. She kisses him but moves to keep it from getting more involved.) It’s about a guy who lost both of his parents and grows up with his grandparents learning the ways of the old country. (He tries to kiss Cathy again.)

Cathy: Hal, please don’t.

Hal: Why did you ask me to stay?

Cathy: To get to know you better. I like you but I don’t want to get rushed into something before I am ready.

Hal: Okay. That works for me. There is so much going on in my life right now that I don’t have any room for a complicated relationship.

Cathy: What does that mean?

Hal: I am finalist to write a book on Shakespeare’s play “Macbeth” from the Scottish point of view. If I am successful, it will be the first time that I have been commissioned to write a full book and it will open a lot of doors for me in the future. If I get the job, I will have to move to Scotland for a year.

Cathy: When would you leave?

Hal: That is still under discussion. I would leave sometime between October and January.

Cathy: That’s only four months from now.

Hal: Yes. And that is why I don’t want to start a heavy duty relationship right now.

Cathy: (Quietly and pensively.) Okay. I understand.

Hal: I think I should leave now.

Cathy: (Still quiet.) Okay. (They cross to the door.)

Hal: (Takes her hands in his.) Good bye. (Leans in for a kiss. They kiss and what starts out as a brief kiss builds and builds. Finally Hal pulls back.) Wow!!! You are really a good kisser.

Cathy: (Smiles.) You are no slouch in that department either. Bye.

Hal: Bye. (He is out the door. She closes the door and leans back against it. There is a knock at the door. Cathy opens the door and Hal is there.) Want to go to a movie some time?

Cathy: Yes, I’d love to.

Hal: When?

Cathy: How about tomorrow?

Hal: Not even going to play hard to get?

Cathy: Nope.

Hal: See you tomorrow at 6:30. Bye. (Leans in for a quick kiss.)

Cathy: Bye.

Hal: Bye. (He is gone.)

Cathy leans back against the door again as the lights fade.

END OF SCENE ONE

I know there are a lot of places where the dialog is trite, stilted and unreal. Remember it is an unedited first draft. Comments are welcome but I need to work on this more before I really solicit comments.

Doug

endless rewrite · May 13, 2006

Alleycat, I have read those long posts, thanks to both of you for sharing. I am going to hold back on any feedback on the script until Doug wants/needs/asks for comments.

I thought Alleycats advice was practical, creative and very useful. The 'family is everything' idea didn't do it for me; it seemed like a statement rather than a theme and for a lot of people one that wouldn't ring true. Whereas the theme of, 'love as difficult but worth the risk' (or is it?) strikes me as universal and at the same time subtle, malleable and open ended.

I also agree with the ideas of merging characters and cutting out anybody who only serves to move the plot along without adding to the actual story. For a professional production you are best playing with a maximum six characters otherwise it becomes a very expensive proposition for an artistic director, don't give them a reason to say, no. Though it depends who you are writing for. For the same reason I would keep set changes minimal and at the same time, not hammer in all the details, keep it really simple in both stage, characters actions and set descriptions. It is a director's job to lift the play off the page and they do not take kindly to being told how to do their job. The upside of this is, that it is their headache how to make things work but make it as easy as possible for them by removing obvious obstacles - see it as taking away another 'no'.

I am a big fan of ‘topping and tailing scenes’ editing from either end, 'in'. Always look to see that everything in the scene serves more than one purpose. Leave questions unanswered, keep us curious.

Here is a basic checklist I use, Doug; just to make sure my scenes are doing what I need them to do. This may be of no use whatsover, but just in case:

What happens in the scene that is really important?

Who is in the scene? (be ruthless with hangers on)

Who is the main character in your scene and what do we learn about them? (also assess what we learn about everyone else there)

What is the main event in the scene?

What does this event show the audience?

What do you want the audience to feel at the end of the scene?

What question(s) does your scene leave your audience asking?

In one sentence, sum up what the scene is about

A good rule for the structure of scenes is to open and end your scenes as late as possible (in & out scene building). Keep the story simple, it is not necessary to have a complicated plot in order to hold the attention of your audience and your audience will only care what happens to the characters if they believe in them.

Looking forward to seeing the play develop, I'm enjoying it so far and thanks again for sharing.

Doug B · May 13, 2006

Question

endless rewrite said:
A good rule for the structure of scenes is to open and end your scenes as late as possible (in & out scene building).

What do you mean by opening and ending as late as possible? What is in and out scene building?

Doug B · May 13, 2006

As for comments on my script . . . .

Since I posted it, I have looked at it a couple of times and see the need for a good deal of clean-up, so some of the problems will get fixed. I also wrote scene 4 from the outline above which I'll post somewhere. This thread is getting so long it takes a while to open it. Maybe we should keep this thread for me to post the scenes as I write them and start another thread for our dialog about the play????

If you see any major structural problems in the first scene that will come back to haunt me later on, let me know.

Thanks.

P.S. My experience in the theater has been exclusively in the Community Theater arena. Our local big theater (200 seats) has a lot of room for sets and set pieces so we can do multiple scene shows there. Our (66 seat) theater has no off stage room so we are stuck with a single set although we do simple stagings for our short plays but a full blown set for our full length plays. That was the reason for the choice of locations.

Who am I writing it for? Myself. Do I think my first effort at a full length play will have them beating a path to my door? No. To me the ten minute plays I wrote were like journaling.

Will this play we are working on get produced? Maybe. If it is good enough. The final decision on whether to produce it is up to me but I can't be totally objective about my work so I will rely on others to make the decision on whether to produce it.

P.P.S. Last night was opening night for our ten minute play festival. We did seven short (and not short enough) plays written by first time local playwrights. I expected 20 to 25 people in our 66 seat theater. We had 64 paying plus a bunch of freebies. We used stacking chairs to get everyone in. The audience loved it. Celebrated too late last night so it is a slow morning around here.

endless rewrite · May 13, 2006

as clear as mud

Hi Doug

What it means to me, and sorry for using that term without explaining it, is writing and editing scenes is such a way as to to avoid having a scene structured so that it sets up the actual scene itself with a mini introduction and too neat ending. If you have a scene that feels as if it drags, try trimming from the beginning and ending rather than the middle because what is important is often, not always, within the middle and the rest is a means of working out a way to get to that, which we all do in a first draft and in my case, third, fourth and fifth drafts.

It is about not being afraid to leave a scene asking more questions than it answered. It is about making the audience curious without overly confusing them, we (the audience) enter into a moment (the scene) and immediately find ourselves within a developing story, we leave that scene with the sense that something is underway rather than complete.

Damn, it is one of those things where I know what I am talking about but I can't do a good job of explaining it - a common problem for me.

Chekov said that the start of a story should feel like you've come in a few minutes after the curtain went up and are groping around to find out what's happening. When the curtain comes down, the actors should still be doing something. Closure but not tied up in a neat little ending.

I find the best way to convey that sense of moving forward within the layers of a story and the lives of the characters is to have scenes that begin and end in this way and which represent the ins and outs of snippets of life, uneven, immediate and in the moment.

The play that represents some truth about life and whose characters we have believed in, should leave us with the impression that like life, they go on.

endless rewrite · May 13, 2006

Hi Doug

Congratulations on the festival, great that you got such a good audiences, response and support. I would find a 10 minute play very hard to do, I've tried and I failed. The shortest was a 15 minute one that I had to write in a day from a newspaper story, it was performed the same night. Never again, I nearly gave myself a heart attack!

I will print off and read through your scene again and offer some feedback. As with my other postings, chuck out what's no use to you.

The reason I asked, who were you writing for, was like you picked up on, a practical issue. Community theatres never have a problem with cast sizes or sets which is great but at the same time, there's no reason why you shouldn't aim to place a good play with a professional company. Just my thought on the matter. I would never assume that a first full length play wouldn't be good enough just because it is a first play and there are opportunities out there.

As for threads, I've no idea what to do with those. Whatever you feel happiest with.

Doug B · May 23, 2006

Just an update.

I continue to struggle with the full length play. I have completed three out of seven or eight scenes and only one has come out easily. When I struggle, the scene doesn't seem as good or smooth. So far, I have not spent any time editing and there have been a couple of pretty large direction changes from the outline above. For example, Cathy would not leave her successful restaurant to move to Scotland with Hal after knowing him just a few weeks. ANother interesting point is that the play is becomming more and more and more about Lesley and Jeff. Who knew?

The real problem is that with the ten minute format, I could always write what I wanted to write not what the outline told me to write. I have cheated a couple of times and wrote ten minute plays because they had to get out.

I decided to move to a full length format for many reasons but I think I had gotten too comfortable in the ten minute genre after writing 35 plays in a little less than five months and wanted to stretch myself.

We'll see what happens over the next week or two.

Doug

Moving from Ten Minute Plays to full length plays

Doug B

alleycat

Still around

endless rewrite

Maryn

Baaa!

endless rewrite

alleycat

Still around

Maryn

Baaa!

Doug B

alleycat

Still around

endless rewrite

Doug B

Maryn

Baaa!

endless rewrite

alleycat

Still around

Doug B

Doug B

Doug B

endless rewrite

Doug B

Doug B

endless rewrite

endless rewrite

Doug B