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Beta swap for MG Fantasy (60K words)

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playground

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Hey everyone! Back with another story I was hoping to get some critiques on. I like leaving the critique completely open to the reader to suggest things you don't like/think should change/you like. Outside of that, I just want to make sure of two things:

1. Is it too slow of an intro?
2. Are there any parts you feel drag?

I do tend to be a bit free with my words (linking verbs together in a list/inventing new words) as I enjoy doing that (Roald Dahl is a HUGE influence on me so I tend to try to emulate that as best i can), so fair warning.

I am willing to swap for any other genre and really any word count. However, once we start getting upwards of 90k that might impede on my ability to get it back to you sooner than two weeks.

The (in-work) query is below:

Twelve-year-old Finn has an eye for treasure: magical treasure. Able to see the dashed lines between stars, the night sky illuminates a giant treasure map to him. When his dad is kidnapped by pirates to find a magical flute, Finn follows a trail of stars to rescue him.

He island hops, crosses, and jumps, enlisting the help of quirky misfits to catch up to the pirates. But when Finn discovers the pirate’s nefarious plan to use the magical flute to summon a giant sea monster and rule the five kingdoms, his dad isn’t the only one needing rescue.

After convincing a giant bird afraid of heights to fly them to a floating island in the sky. Finn battles through the island’s enchanted traps only to discover the flute already gone, snatched up by the pirates. Enraged, he rushes onto the pirate’s ship before they can escape and attacks them head on, dodging cannon fire, twirling from fight to fight, and crossing swords to rescue his dad and steal the flute. But when the pirate captain plays the flute’s ominous tune, the giant sea monster roars to life and rises from the depths of the ocean, attacking Finn and his rag tag group.

As the monster splinters, crushes, and breaks the ship all around him, Finn must find a way to stop the captain and his new pet or watch his chances of saving his dad and the five kingdoms sink along with the ship.

Stargazer is a middle grade fantasy novel complete at 60,000 words with series potential.
 

grandma2isaac

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I am working on a piece currently, but have taken on a beta for someone else. If I read yours in a couple of weeks (to give me time to finish the other), would you read mine when I finish it? It is a Childrens/MG?
 
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