Gift ideas needed for my grandad, who has Alzheimer's and is in a nursing home...

So the title pretty much sums it up. It's my grandad's birthday in a few weeks, and this is the first year where he's been in a nursing home. He's also had Alzheimer's for a number of years. I have no idea what to get him...

He has no room in his bedroom for big things. He doesn't have a DVD player (he can barely work the TV's on/off button), and he has waaaay more CDs than he could ever listen to. His walls are already covered in artwork/photos. I'm not going to try to buy him clothes, because I don't know his size, and don't know what style he would actually like. Besides, he has plenty already. He can barely read, but already has some picture-heavy books about planes (he was in the Air Force).

The obvious gift idea is food. However, I don't want to overload him with food. Mum's already gotten him a big box of chocolates. No doubt nanna will do something similar. My sister always seems to come up with out-of-left-field gifts.

So yeah. I'm stumped! I mean, what do you get someone who either has a lot already, or can't use that many things that he doesn't already have? Someone who generally isn't allowed to leave the nursing home, but who doesn't have a lot of space?

Suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

Apart from his love of planes and boats, and music, there's not really much to say about him... He used to work in engineering companies, but obviously can't do those intricate things now that he has Alzheimer's.

Oh, and he doesn't own a computer. He used to (when he was still living with nanna), but for the past couple of years he couldn't work it. So yeah... Software or digital things in general won't work. Oh, and with his interest in music - he only ever played the organ, and the nursing home has one in the common area. And gift cards are right out, due to not being allowed out and about.

AW Admin said:

What about a monthly snack or fruit gift gift plan?

Or just ship him a small gift every month?

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I'm not sure how the nursing home handles incoming mail, to be honest. Ultimately, though, he has family visiting quite often (myself included)... If I did go this way, I'd probably just take things to him, rather than have them shipped. Thanks.

Lauram6123 said:

You could get him an inexpensive MP3 player and load it up with music that you know he loves. I think especially for Alzheimer's patients, music can be extremely comforting. (My uncle has Alzheimer's and adores listening to Benny Goodman.)

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See Brightdreamer's post. He wouldn't be able to operate an mp3 player, unfortunately. Thanks, though.

Snitchcat said:

Would realistic soft toy pets be feasible? http://store.best-alzheimers-products.com/golden-retriever.html#.V8eyRfl95pg

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He did always love animals. Not sure how he would react to getting a stuffed toy as a present, though... He still has a lot of pride wrapped up in being a "serious man", so to speak. That's maybe not the best description, but yeah... He enjoys childish things to some extent, but I can tell he feels self-conscious when doing so (a little bit).

Snitchcat said:

You might find this list of suggestions useful: http://www.theadventurouswriter.com/blog/best-gifts-for-people-with-dementia-or-memory-loss/

I particularly like the "days of the week" clock (but personally, I wouldn't choose this as a gift -- cultural thing for me), and the tangle blanket.

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Aha! A nice blanket does seem like an awesome idea, actually. He gets cold very easily. I may look into blankets next time I'm at the shops. Also, thanks for the links. I've bookmarked both of them.

Brightdreamer said:

Depending on how far "gone" he is, he may not be able to deal with an MP3; my grandfather had bad dementia at the end, and unless someone else set up the headphones and remembered to start and stop the thing, he couldn't handle even a simple portable CD player. But he did enjoy music when he could hear it; it was a big part of his life before his decline, and it helped him immensely towards the end.

Would a small photo album be feasible? We had one for Grandpa, that we'd put pictures in of outings and family - even outings he hadn't been on - and for a while he seemed to enjoy looking through it. (So did the other people at his group home.)

If the staff is any good at his nursing home (they aren't always, unfortunately), maybe you could ask them what an appropriate gift for an Alzheimer's patient might be, though the best answer may simply be visiting and being with him for a while. I recall reading that family visits help dementia patients, even if they don't remember them afterwards.

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As for the photo album - he already has a bunch of photos in frames in his room. And yes, you were right about the mp3 player, unfortunately. And as I said earlier in this post, we do visit quite regularly. Thanks.

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So yes. I'm leaning towards the blanket at this point. Thanks all for the responses.

I'm still avoiding going the food route, I think. As for the crayons and/or kids games... I dunno. I'm not sure how he would react to such a thing, as he's still together enough to know that such things are meant for kids. And I don't think I'm quite ready myself to treat him "like a child", so to speak. I know it's not the same thing, and that it is relevant to dementia, but yeah... Not sure I can go that way.

Socks? Heh, funny story. When we packed up a bunch of his stuff to move him into the nursing home, mum handled the clothes. When we were unpacking, there was this big plastic bag full of socks. And then I found out that there was still an entire drawer full of them back in his old bedroom. Seems he had been stockpiling them, as one of those random dementia behaviours. Always said he didn't have any socks, too. But no - I think he has enough socks to last a lifetime.

Thanks, though. I'm still leaning towards the blanket. Might head out to the bigger shopping centre tomorrow, if the weather is decent. The bigger centre has an actual bedding store (blankets, quilts, sheets, etc.), rather than just a section in a department store. Hopefully I can find something nice in there.

heza said:

That's understandable if he's still somewhat himself. However, do keep these things in mind as the Alzheimer's progresses. When my grandfather stopped talking and wasn't all that aware of what was going on around him, he did, for a while, enjoy playing games for babies on my tablet. Stuff like using your finger to pop bubbles or very simple drawing programs where you paint with your finger. There are some inexpensive tablets for children nowadays that someone could maybe set up for him to play when they visit (visits at that stage are sort of awkward anyway since they might not really know who you are and aren't talking much, themselves).

But I think a blanket is a great idea. That's what I was going to suggest. My grandfather had blankets, but sometimes, they'd get misplaced, so having extras was good. Another thing he liked was a good pair of warm slippers with a sturdy, gripping sole.

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Mmm. Yeah, the suitable-for-kids type ideas will become relevant at some point, I'm sure. I don't think we're quite there yet, as I said.

Oh, and for the misplaced blankets - this particular nursing home does name-labels for all the residents' possessions. So if I did get a blanket, what I'd do is take it in *before* his birthday, get the staff to put the label on, then get it back off of them. That way, when I did give it to him, it'd already be labelled and he wouldn't be wondering why we're taking it back to give to the staff. Those are the sorts of things he just doesn't understand.

eirbear said:

So I work for this company, LifeBio.com. It helps people tell their life stories. I know you said your grandfather doesn't have a computer, but perhaps your family could work together to write what you know of his life story for him (to help him remember things). You can then order a lovely leather-bound book of the story you put together. The website is here: https://lifebio.com/

Or we have a physical version of the questions in our online template, if you would rather handwrite it, or if you think your grandfather would want to write some of it himself (I don't know how advanced his Alzheimer's is): http://secure.lifebio.com/memory-journals


My grandfather had severe dementia for the last couple of years of his life and I just know how much he would have enjoyed having something like this. He had a photo book his kids had made him, which gave pictures and names of all the children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren, and my dad said that Grandpa loved flipping through it to try to remember.

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Mmm, this would be a great idea. Except grandad already wrote a sizable chunk of his life story, before the Alzheimer's hit. Like, about 60k worth. I don't think he's capable of reading it now, though.

Snowstorm said:

Outstanding! Your post made me think about having someone (relatives, of course, if it's possible) to come and record his stories as oral histories. I hope he's able to bring up childhood memories, the war years, et al. Perhaps over several days or weeks to string out the time and attention of family and friends as each person records him. I think the best gifts for older people is time and attention.

I know sometimes time and attention just can't happen. If it's possible this collection of his stories on a CD/DVD is a gift, not necessarily for him (for various reasons), but almost a gift from him to the whole family.

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Yep. Again, he's already done a large chunk of his bio. And he happens to be the sort of person who, before the Alzheimer's moreso, loved to talk about his life story at every opportunity. So basically, there are a bunch of stories from earlier in his life that the whole family has heard at least 100 times before.

Brightdreamer said:

If you have enough lead time, and the budget, there are some places (Walgreens, I think, and others) who can make custom throw blankets with pictures you send in online. So it could be something special just for him - and a keepsake after he passes. (They start about 70 bucks, but Shutterfly has a half-off sale through the 6th.)

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Mmm... Not sure if there are any Australia-based companies that do the custom blankets. At this point, there's slightly over 2 weeks to get a present sorted out. Less if I get him something that needs to be labeled ahead of time. I'll see what the store has available, but thanks for the suggestion.

regdog said:

I would second the blanket or warm clothes. When my Dad was in a nursing home and now that my aunt is we noticed they would get cold easy. We took their short sleeve shirts home and only left them with longer warmer outfits, the AC was too much for them.

The other thing I can suggest is labels on the pictures so he doesn't remember who the people are, or gets to that stage the staff can read the labels and remind him

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Mmm. Putting names to faces is something I personally wouldn't be able to do. It'd have to be mum and nanna who did that, I think, as most of grandad's photos are of older people who, one way or another, me and my siblings have never met.

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Thanks for the comments, all.

Yeah, I definitely agree that his attention span isn't good enough for watching TV. He really only has a small table on wheels (supplied by the home), because there's not a lot of room in his bedroom (after the provided bed, and then his personal couch, a small TV stand, and a storage rack full of his CDs). He technically does have a coffee table, but the only place it fits is off in the corner, and I don't think he really pays it any attention.

In any event, I found a nice-looking and warm-feeling blanket at the store today. It was cheaper than I expected, but still good quality, so I think I might look into getting him some new slippers, too. Just need to find out his shoe size (mum or nanna should know).

So thanks, all. I really think this is a good gift idea, considering how he always gets cold. Plus, I suspect that physical comfort will also aid his peace of mind.

Yep, toy planes was where my mind went after the "hanging things that move" suggestion. I won't be doing that this time, but perhaps for Christmas, or his next birthday.

And juniper, yep, there's a picture of the whole family from my brother's wedding. So, like, nanna, grandad, mum, me, brother, sister and her fiance. If I recall correctly, it's also the largest photo in his room, which makes sense.

Oh, and I did find some slippers yesterday, too. Wound up ringing nanna for his shoe size.

So, yeah... I think the gift-buying is done now. Thanks all.

Thanks.