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View Full Version : cover feedback New Version in #10



Gregg Bell
08-11-2016, 04:49 AM
NEW VERSION IN #10

It's for a suspense novel. Thanks. Here's the blurb:

What can a mother do when she has no money and a dangerously sick kid?

She can make a mistake.

In a moment of desperation, cleaning lady Phoebe Jackson tries to pawn the expensive wristwatch she found in a mobsterís locker. Turns out the watch is a fake, but the mobster isnítóand heís on to her.

https://www.mediafire.com/convkey/1cae/tnwoairjt4fg7dd6g.jpg

cornflake
08-11-2016, 04:51 AM
Maybe it's me but that looks like her nose - like she's using a snapchat filter to give her a dog nose or something. I also didn't get watch from that until I looked again.

Toothpaste
08-11-2016, 06:34 AM
Yeah the placement of both the gun and the hands of the watch look like they are her nose and whiskers.

Also the watch does not look expensive at all.

I dunno. I think you might want to keep playing around a bit with the imagery. It's not quite there yet. I know the idea of having her face as the watch face is a fun concept, but it's also a little cheesy and I'm not sure there's a non-cheesy way to do it. Sorry :(

Snowstorm
08-11-2016, 06:45 AM
I have to agree with earlier posters. Some suggestions: get rid of the watch hands, and perhaps add subtle numbers around the rim to help the viewer know it's a watch. Another thought I had was get rid of the watch hands, and then have her hold the gun (with her right wrist over her lower throat) with it pointing at, say, the 2 o'clock position to mimic one of the watch hands. Maybe her left hand in the opposite position with her fingers pointing at the 10 o'clock position? (Sort of like the position of pharaoh mummies).

ETA: Perhaps shed the watch entirely and have a closeup of her lower face down to her upper chest with her arms crossed like I described above: the gun in one hand and an expensive watch dangling from the other.

Just ideas to get your creative juices going. Good luck!

Gregg Bell
08-11-2016, 09:05 PM
Maybe it's me but that looks like her nose - like she's using a snapchat filter to give her a dog nose or something. I also didn't get watch from that until I looked again.

Thanks cornflake. Didn't see the dog nose but now that you mention it... :)

Gregg Bell
08-11-2016, 09:07 PM
Yeah the placement of both the gun and the hands of the watch look like they are her nose and whiskers.

Also the watch does not look expensive at all.

I dunno. I think you might want to keep playing around a bit with the imagery. It's not quite there yet. I know the idea of having her face as the watch face is a fun concept, but it's also a little cheesy and I'm not sure there's a non-cheesy way to do it. Sorry :(

Thanks Toothpaste. Agree the watch is not real expensive looking. And I hear you about the nose and whiskers. I'll go back to the drawing board.

Gregg Bell
08-11-2016, 09:08 PM
I have to agree with earlier posters. Some suggestions: get rid of the watch hands, and perhaps add subtle numbers around the rim to help the viewer know it's a watch. Another thought I had was get rid of the watch hands, and then have her hold the gun (with her right wrist over her lower throat) with it pointing at, say, the 2 o'clock position to mimic one of the watch hands. Maybe her left hand in the opposite position with her fingers pointing at the 10 o'clock position? (Sort of like the position of pharaoh mummies).

ETA: Perhaps shed the watch entirely and have a closeup of her lower face down to her upper chest with her arms crossed like I described above: the gun in one hand and an expensive watch dangling from the other.

Just ideas to get your creative juices going. Good luck!

Thanks snowstorm. Great ideas. I'm not sure I've the skill to pull them off but they've certainly got me thinking.

The Farmer
08-11-2016, 09:34 PM
I agree with the above posters. I wonder if it would help to place the shooter in more of a profile position (as well as adding more detail to the watch). I did not like the whole image in gray-scale with only the title in a bright color - but that's just me...

By the way, it sounds like a great book! Good luck!

Gregg Bell
08-12-2016, 03:57 AM
I agree with the above posters. I wonder if it would help to place the shooter in more of a profile position (as well as adding more detail to the watch). I did not like the whole image in gray-scale with only the title in a bright color - but that's just me...

By the way, it sounds like a great book! Good luck!

Thanks Farmer

Gregg Bell
08-12-2016, 04:01 AM
I have a new one. I know the edges are rough and the wrist band is a mess. That will all be fixed. I was just wanting feedback on the concept. Thanks.

https://www.mediafire.com/convkey/782a/5f94gamdqorf7lb6g.jpg

gtbun
08-12-2016, 06:06 PM
Remove the image and work on the text first. There's no need for any kind of effects, be they placing a texture inside or drop shadow. Have you considered making the sans-serif larger and stacking it, so THE is above FIND? It creates a different dynamic and separates it from the relationship it has in size with the author name. Once you've put together good looking type, then add the image and make it work for you, rather than being slave to the image. Whether you centre or range left the text is up to you, but you might find that a more subtle image in the background might serve better.

Gregg Bell
08-13-2016, 02:32 AM
Remove the image and work on the text first. There's no need for any kind of effects, be they placing a texture inside or drop shadow. Have you considered making the sans-serif larger and stacking it, so THE is above FIND? It creates a different dynamic and separates it from the relationship it has in size with the author name. Once you've put together good looking type, then add the image and make it work for you, rather than being slave to the image. Whether you centre or range left the text is up to you, but you might find that a more subtle image in the background might serve better.

Thanks gtbun. I have not put THE above FIND. I shall experiment with that. And with all your suggestions, which are really good. Appreciate it.