Silly things you've said

I once got a new barbecue for college graduation. I was living in an apartment at the time and our next door neighbors were from Jamaica. They didn't have a barbecue, so I offered them my old one which was still in good condition. Everything was cool until a week later when the wife from next door shows up on my porch and says, "You've got to try my barbecue."

I figured there must be something wrong with it so I asked her, "why? Is there something wrong with it?"

"No," she replied with a confused look. "It's great."

"Then why do you want me to try it?" I asked.

"Because... I want you to try it."

I raise an eyebrow, not clear on why she needed me to try it if there was no problem. There must be something wrong with it. "Well, I can try and fix it for you."

"Fix it? No, no. There's nothing wrong with it. I just want you to try it. You'll really like it."

"Uh... yeah. It was always good for me," I tell her. (I'd used it for years. Why would I need to try it)?

"No, no," she says in exasperation. "It's lamb. Jamaican lamb. Very good."

Then I got it. By 'barbecue' she meant the food. She wanted me to try her food. Geez... The lamb was excellent but I felt very awkward after that. I'm not sure if she ever understood my misunderstanding of what she meant. I probably insulted her, uh... barbecue.

Sat Nam! (Literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

One of my brothers used to say: I keep my sanity by using it as little as possible.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

That's the winner!

After going around for a while calling Murphy's Law "Murray's Law," my husband came up with "Murie's Law:" "Given the choice of two similar words, Murie will inevitably choose the wrong one."

Yeah... I'm bad at talking.

I was on the phone w/the vice principal of the school board that I was homeschooling through.

Eldest dd was tormenting her then 3 yo brother, by smacking around his stuffed animal, and making him whine and cry.

I finally snapped, "Quit spanking your brother's monkey!" mid conversation.

Dead silence from the VP. I hastened to explain, since the ground didn't swallow me whole, and he had such a hard time not losing it, he sounded like a demented tea kettle, trying to control his giggling.

"Quit spanking your brother's monkey!"

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That's gonna keep me giggling for hours.

mirandashell said:

That's gonna keep me giggling for hours.

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That was years ago, and I still blush thinking about it.

And laugh like hell.

I was in Colorado with my sister and BIL on vacation, and we went to a sporting goods store to stock up on stuff. While my BIL was talking fish with the owner, my sister and I wandered around, browsing. I came upon a Bear Bell.

"Never Sneak up on a Bear Again!" it said.

I stared at it for a long time until my sister walked over and asked me what was wrong.

"Well," I said, turning the package over in my hand, "how do you get the bell on the bear?"

I'm English. What the heck is a Bear Bell?

It's a bell you wear on your wrist or whatever if you go hiking in woods, so bears hear you coming and you don't just appear and startle like, a mama bear and her cubs and then become bear snack. Like a bird bell on a cat, except the predator/prey relationship is reversed sorta, heh.

heza said:

I was in Colorado with my sister and BIL on vacation, and we went to a sporting goods store to stock up on stuff. While my BIL was talking fish with the owner, my sister and I wandered around, browsing. I came upon a Bear Bell.

"Never Sneak up on a Bear Again!" it said.

I stared at it for a long time until my sister walked over and asked me what was wrong.

"Well," I said, turning the package over in my hand, "how do you get the bell on the bear?"

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LOL.

Ok, this isn't actually stupid but it was funny... I was talking to someone on the phone, and she was telling me her teen son had recently gotten ferrets that are ok, but nippy. So she went to ask him something, apparently paused before entering his room, knocked loudly and intoned: "are the ferrets free?" In this very deep, imposing, serious voice. When I burst out laughing she realized and said she said it like that in case he had headphones on, but still funny.

So a hungry bear is more likely to run away when they hear the bell than think 'ooh, food!' ?

Serious question. We don't have bears.

Does your food usually wear a bell?

No, but then my food doesn't normally come walking towards me, either.

LOL, well, bears don't want to eat people. They prefer easy meals like berries and birdseed and garbage. Most bear attacks are because a person has gotten between the mom and the cubs. I worry about this a lot when I'm with the dogs in the woods at our mountain place. I don't wear a bell, but I talk to the dogs almost non-stop. They're hunters, so if they hear or smell something, they go silent rather than bark, and I don't want to be sneaking up on no mama bear no thank you.

Ah, thank you. Like I said, we don't have bears so I don't know what normal bear behaviour would be.

Sorry for the derail!

Maryn said:

This is second-hand, but my girlfriend's grandmother had a picture of Jesus on her TV. I asked if it was a drawing or a painting, and my friend told me her grandmother insisted it was a photograph. Of course, I never met the woman and don't know if she was joking or had dementia or what.

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There is a radio station in Mexico, across the river from Del Rio Texas, called XERF. It was placed in Mexico back in the 20s or 30s to get around the regulations on strength of signal. It was owned by a man named "Dr." Brinkley (he was really interesting, google him). They did a lot of evangelical religious programming. One of their things was that for a donation of $1 you could get a "gen-u-wine autographed picture of Jesus Christ himself". May be your friend's grandmother had one of those.

MM

"i do."