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LadyVonFright
07-21-2016, 10:26 PM
What would be the most terrible thing an ex can do to you?
Aside from being physically/emotionally abusive, cheating and getting someone else pregnant and/or giving you an STD.

I'm looking for something REALLY unforgivable, not that the above that I mentioned are forgivable, I am just looking for some other ideas that are not as common...

Any thoughts are appreciated!!! :)

mirandashell
07-21-2016, 10:27 PM
Getting you into huge amounts of debt and then leaving.

LadyVonFright
07-21-2016, 10:40 PM
I like this idea...and it actually sparked another idea...so thank you for that! :)

but I am still looking for something...leaning towards evil

Im trying to show what a terrible person my characters ex has become...she can't keep herself away from, she keeps going back to him and I need her to kick him to the curb once and for all. So I need him to do something REALLY bad so that she will finally wake up and realize she needs to drop this guy

mirandashell
07-21-2016, 11:03 PM
To be honest, I would have left a long time ago so.....

Lauram6123
07-21-2016, 11:09 PM
Hmm. How about steals her money and pawns her possessions (which were minimal to begin with) and uses the funds for gambling.

sassandgroove
07-21-2016, 11:15 PM
Can't she just finally grow a spine and decide she is better than him? Why does it all hinge on him?

LadyVonFright
07-21-2016, 11:27 PM
To be honest, I would have left a long time ago so.....

As would I ;)


Hmm. How about steals her money and pawns her possessions (which were minimal to begin with) and uses the funds for gambling.

It could work...hes a drug dealer...so maybe instead of gambling it could be drugs...or drug related...


Can't she just finally grow a spine and decide she is better than him? Why does it all hinge on him?

She's unbelievably stubborn...and she believes that when you love someone nothing should be able to tear that love apart...that's why I need something really big to slap her in the face and wake her up and show her that this relationship she is in is not the love she desperately seeks and believes

Maggie Maxwell
07-21-2016, 11:27 PM
Identity theft. Taking out loans in her name for things she never sees, ruining her credit for years while she tries to figure out where all he has things in her name.

Myrealana
07-21-2016, 11:33 PM
Let's see, aside from emotional abuse and cheating on me, what did my ex-husband do?

Joining a cult-like religious group, and holding meetings until 2:00 am in our living room.
Burning books in the backyard.
Gave away my cat.
Not paying his part of the bills and getting our only car repossessed and our electricity shut off.

Did I mention he GAVE AWAY MY CAT!

That one was really the end.

fiendish
07-21-2016, 11:34 PM
He could kill her dog - assuming you can give her one. If he's a drug dealer, then maybe he gives the dog a massive dose of heroin or something, just for a 'laugh', and the dog dies. I'd count that as pretty evil.

cornflake
07-21-2016, 11:34 PM
As would I ;)


It could work...hes a drug dealer...so maybe instead of gambling it could be drugs...or drug related...



She's unbelievably stubborn...and she believes that when you love someone nothing should be able to tear that love apart...that's why I need something really big to slap her in the face and wake her up and show her that this relationship she is in is not the love she desperately seeks and believes

That's not stubborn; that's stupid. I can't abide that shit, personally - not the bad behaviour, the excusing the bad behaviour with 'but he loves me/didn't mean to.../is going to change this time...'

There was a story on This American Life recently about a woman whose identity kept being compromised, bank accounts being drained, even though she changed everything, switched banks, switched cards, etc. Guess what? Here's the transcript. (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/587/transcript)

That animal harming/giving away stuff? You don't leave after that, you fucking kill him and dispose of the body and evidence.

sassandgroove
07-22-2016, 12:01 AM
I'd have to REALLLY REALLY like a character to keep reading if it take something that extreme to get her to leave. I was in a bad relationship for 7 years and it was a lot of little things that built up combined with my growing and learning to not take shit. Just sayin'.

Marlys
07-22-2016, 12:23 AM
Some possibilities:

--He doesn't want her to work, so he sabotages her job and gets her fired.

--Talks her into sexual role-play, then posts photos or videos on the internet.

--While she's deciding what to do about her unplanned pregnancy, he slips her a morning-after pill.

Marlys
07-22-2016, 12:26 AM
That's not stubborn; that's stupid. I can't abide that shit, personally - not the bad behaviour, the excusing the bad behaviour with 'but he loves me/didn't mean to.../is going to change this time...'

...

Yeah, but some women I've known in abusive relationships weren't stupid--they really thought they could help their partner, even "save" him. Because a lot of abusive fucks were abused themselves, which is never, ever an excuse--but it makes women who see themselves as strong think they can take it if there's hope of helping him heal in the end.

mirandashell
07-22-2016, 12:27 AM
Impulse Control Disorder. Jeez.........

A.E.Fisher
07-22-2016, 12:32 AM
Trying to have your children taken away from you. I don't think there's anything worse, in my mind at least.

Roxxsmom
07-22-2016, 12:44 AM
I assume you mean ex spouse, though most of these work for ex boyfriends (or girlfriends) too. Aside from the obvious things one can do via legal channels, like trying to get sole custody of the kids or preventing visitation for someone who is a perfectly fit parent:

--Stalking and harassing, online or off. Lots of ex's do this, and it can be really hard to stop.
--Spreading vicious rumors, or actual blackmail, trying to get you fired, creating a wedge between the ex's friends and family, threatening to share intimate secret that could ruin you in some circles (like say you had an abortion or are bisexual or something, and that would offend many in your inner circle or community).
--Trashing ex's prized possession, or worse yet, killing or injuring ex's pets (yes, this happens sometimes)
--Trying to break up a new relationship or using ex's new intimate relationship as leverage to ruin ex's reputation (because of the double standard, this works better on women than men and especially in pre-1970s settings).
--sabotaging ex's birth control (poke hole in diaphragm, or expose it to mineral oil or something like that, so she possibly gets pregnant).
--arson or other acts of extreme vandalism against ex's property (I can imagine someone who is pissed that their ex got the house, or kicked them out if they'd been shacked up, doing this).

shakeysix
07-22-2016, 12:53 AM
Okay--this is small town soap opera. It really happened in this county, but so many years ago I don't think the story needs much camouflage. A very old friend of mine, M, began dating a total drama prince/selfish jerk while we were still in college. His transgressions were many although he never hit her or the kids, always made very good money, never was verbally abusive and was home every night. "Good grief" you ask, "What did he do?"

Well, it doesn't really matter for your story but his specialty was total control, complete isolation. His first request, the very first month that they were dating, was that she cut all ties with her girlfriends. We were close, a circle of seven. She told us all that she was sorry but W and she had pledged to be each other's best friends. (No sweat for W. according to a friend who knew him well from high school--he didn't have any friends. His mother did not allow them.) So that was that. Over the next 20-30 years he squeezed out everyone in her life. She did not even chat with the neighbors. Her family? They weren't the most supportive people to begin with and this is why I figure they were easily discouraged. It was W's family and only W's family, every holiday, every birthday, every occasion. All socializing was one sided and familial. It was damned hard for M, my friend, because from day one she loathed W's mother. (I could tell you STORIES!) Over the years I talked to M maybe four times, usually through birth announcements, and then, soon after I was widowed, I heard that she divorced.

Naturally my friends and I couldn't wait to hear what the final straw had been. Well, it seems that W had an affair late in life with a much younger (but chubbier, woman--M is very petite and this really stung!) Being W, he went to M and confessed all, no doubt with tears and drama. She agreed to let him get this wild hair out of his system. He promised that he would be back, swore that he loved only her and begged her not to tell their kids. Naturally she promised that it would be her sad, sorry secret pain. (Damn! I would have ...never mind. Not about me.)

M had only one tiny condition, a favor, really,--he must swear never to tell his family. Of course he swore and that was that for the next five or six months. He had his way--as usual, and somehow managed to make himself a tragic hero because he was hurting the two women he loved. (Men! I would have ...never mind. Not about me.)

And then one day, while they were having a cup of tea face to face, his mother, out of the blue, embraced M and told her what a brave little soldier she was being through this whole sordid affair.

AND THAT WAS THAT. Without flinching, cursing or saying a word, M smiled and returned the embrace. She went straight home, hired the dirtiest lawyer in five counties and started the paperwork--some of it demanding a big piece of acreage--family acreage! When W got home from work M met him at the door with the news--he was paying for the lawyer and get the hell off her property. When he asked her why, she smiled and said "ask your mother."

There is another chapter to this story. I can't write it but it turns out well for M. She is still single but has a hell of a lot of cows.--s6

Sophia
07-22-2016, 12:54 AM
It could work...hes a drug dealer...so maybe instead of gambling it could be drugs...or drug related...

As he's a drug dealer, perhaps she could discover that he has 'framed' her to protect himself in the event that he is ever implicated in something that involves encroaching on the activity of other gangs. All the evidence of what he did leads to her. So she's not only in terrible danger from the gangs, she can't go to the police either. And he leaves her to it.

Susannah Shepherd
07-22-2016, 01:00 AM
I know you haven't given us much detail here, but what you have described reads to me not as a stubborn-in-love protagonist, but a woman self-rationalising an abusive relationship. Have you done much non-fiction reading around abuse in relationships and patterns of thought and behaviour?

I'm not sure her suddenly seeing the light as a result of a 'last straw' evil act scenario feels credible unless, as sassandgroove says, the act triggers a significant change in how she sees and feels about herself, not how she sees him. Given how immature her views on love are, you have scope for some pretty significant character growth. :) Otherwise it reads like she's prepared to put up with abuse so long as its just 'normal' abuse, not 'evil' abuse, and that's going to be a hard sell to build sympathy for, because most of your readers aren't going to accept that as a valid distinction.

One option for a trigger might be that his actions harm someone she cares about (human or furry), who he wouldn't have contact with except for her, and she suddenly realises that her acceptance of his behaviour has consequences for others.

PyriteFool
07-22-2016, 01:20 AM
Seconding Ms. Shepherd as hard as it is possible to second. Abuse narratives can get into sticky territory fast, and her advice is a great first step towards respecting your subject matter.

As for the last straw, what if it is something seemingly inconsequential, but meaningful to your MC. Like ex accidentally breaks a family heirloom, or blabs her embarrassing childhood nickname to his friends, or calls her a name she hates. Something that is deeply personal to her specifically, that will really hurt.

frimble3
07-22-2016, 01:21 AM
I doubt there's one last event that I would believe would cause her to suddenly change her mind and leave him, because if she's self-justified this far, I can't think of anything she couldn't self-justify. Sacrificed the baby to Satan? He did it to give the baby untold advantages! etc.
Just as likely that one day she feels he crossed the line in some way, calls him on it, and he kills her. Lots of real-life versions of this story end like that. With her last thoughts being some variation of "He's choking me because he loves me! It's foreplay! We're trying kinky sex....."

But, I am not the audience for this sort of story about this kind of character.

Ravioli
07-22-2016, 01:40 AM
Deliberately hurting my pets, be it because he's an ass to animals, or to get to me. I've read about some angry partners or exes who killed the beloved pet or threw it into the street or a shelter to hurt the other person, and if anyone did that to me and my baby-babies, I would get very, very violent.

Maze Runner
07-22-2016, 01:59 AM
I think I'd stick with the drug angle. Hard drugs? Does she use? Is there another woman she cares about, a sister or friend, whom she could discover him introducing to drugs? Whatever you use, plant that seed early though. Subtly, so you don't tip your hand, but something the reader could look back on and say, Ah, I should have known that would be her breaking point.

Also, I'd encourage you to give her ample reasons for staying all this time. Is love enough? Maybe. But why does she love him so much? What redeeming qualities, and they should be good ones, does he have? It's possible that the good he has is exactly the good she needs, something that has been lacking.

Tazlima
07-22-2016, 02:00 AM
What would be the most terrible thing an ex can do to you?


Does the terrible thing actually have to be done TO the ex? I ask because personally, I'm much more tolerant of nastiness directed toward me than equivalent nastiness directed toward someone I care about, and I think a lot of people are the same way. I know someone who was in an abusive relationship for over a decade in the most spectacular demonstration of the "sunken cost fallacy" I've ever witnessed. Her rationale was literally: "It would be embarrassing to admit I willingly stayed with an abuser for such a long time, so...I'll just stay with him to avoid that shame."

It was when he turned his abuse on their daughter that she finally got up the nerve to leave the SOB. (Actually, even then she couldn't quite bring herself to leave him. The real push came from her best friend who gave her an ultimatum...leave the loser or BFF would call CPS herself).

Maze Runner
07-22-2016, 02:24 AM
First of all, why would she think she's found her love-of-life in a drug dealer? Seriously, there's no future in that. What's that say about what kind of character she has? Meaning, how is she able to delude herself to this point? But let's say he's told her that he's reformed, but she finds out he hasn't. And maybe, just maybe, he leaves the dope in her car or possession and she gets cracked instead of him. Big trouble now. The arresting officers tell her that they know it's not hers, but she either roll over on him or she's gonna take the fall. Even at that, she doesn't want to do it. It could be that this swell guy has already been busted, and knows that if he gets caught again, he's going away. Whereas, she, she has no priors. For anything. And so she can afford to take a pinch, in his eyes. This will tell her how little he really cares about her, and that when it comes down to it, he'd much prefer sacrificing her. This could lend a nice, running tension and a time element that would speed up the action, because she will have to decide one way or another. Just a thought, and sure proof that I'd rather think about your story than mine.

Catherine_Beyer
07-22-2016, 07:23 AM
Gaslighting. Convinced me I was crazy to the point of seeking psychiatric help. One of his tricks was to insist I had promised things in conversations I never remembered having. They were always small things, like going to the movies to see a particular show. The point was he was right, I was wrong, and he knew best.

LadyVonFright
07-22-2016, 06:37 PM
Identity theft. Taking out loans in her name for things she never sees, ruining her credit for years while she tries to figure out where all he has things in her name.

I don't know much about identity theft, so forgive me if this question sounds incredibly stupid, but in order to steal her identity would he have to pretend he is a female?



Let's see, aside from emotional abuse and cheating on me, what did my ex-husband do?

Joining a cult-like religious group, and holding meetings until 2:00 am in our living room.
Burning books in the backyard.
Gave away my cat.
Not paying his part of the bills and getting our only car repossessed and our electricity shut off.

Did I mention he GAVE AWAY MY CAT!

That one was really the end.

Wow Myrealana, I'm so sorry you went through that :(
Giving away a pet or selling a pet, that would break my heart...
I may be able to give her a dog in the beginning, I was going to at first but decided against it, but now I'm re-thinking lol

Thank you for sharing this.


He could kill her dog - assuming you can give her one. If he's a drug dealer, then maybe he gives the dog a massive dose of heroin or something, just for a 'laugh', and the dog dies. I'd count that as pretty evil.
I'm pretty sure I can give her one, I have to re-write the beginning at some point anyway...but I don't know if I could kill the dog off. Everytime I watch a movie/show or read a book and there is an animal in it, especially dogs or horses I'm always crossing my fingers that they don't die ;)


That's not stubborn; that's stupid. I can't abide that shit, personally - not the bad behaviour, the excusing the bad behaviour with 'but he loves me/didn't mean to.../is going to change this time...'

There was a story on This American Life recently about a woman whose identity kept being compromised, bank accounts being drained, even though she changed everything, switched banks, switched cards, etc. Guess what? Here's the transcript. (http://www.thisamericanlife.org/radio-archives/episode/587/transcript)

That animal harming/giving away stuff? You don't leave after that, you fucking kill him and dispose of the body and evidence.

No everyone is strong willed though. I've seen people in relationships where their self esteem has been ripped to shreds, which is why they don't leave because they have been manipulated into thinking that the abuser is doing them a favour by staying with them.


I'd have to REALLLY REALLY like a character to keep reading if it take something that extreme to get her to leave. I was in a bad relationship for 7 years and it was a lot of little things that built up combined with my growing and learning to not take shit. Just sayin'.

I hear you, but in my characters case...she has no confidence, and my story is about regaining that confidence when you no longer have any...it's hard. The reason I feel she needs something extreme, is because I not only want to push her to the point of saying "I'm done with him" but because of what she's been through, she needs to get her revenge.


Some possibilities:

--He doesn't want her to work, so he sabotages her job and gets her fired.

--Talks her into sexual role-play, then posts photos or videos on the internet.

--While she's deciding what to do about her unplanned pregnancy, he slips her a morning-after pill.

ohhhh I like the idea of sexual role-play...get some steamy action into this novel ;)



Trying to have your children taken away from you. I don't think there's anything worse, in my mind at least.

That is terrible but they don't have kids (thank goodness...he should not be a father lol)



I assume you mean ex spouse, though most of these work for ex boyfriends (or girlfriends) too. Aside from the obvious things one can do via legal channels, like trying to get sole custody of the kids or preventing visitation for someone who is a perfectly fit parent:

--Stalking and harassing, online or off. Lots of ex's do this, and it can be really hard to stop.
--Spreading vicious rumors, or actual blackmail, trying to get you fired, creating a wedge between the ex's friends and family, threatening to share intimate secret that could ruin you in some circles (like say you had an abortion or are bisexual or something, and that would offend many in your inner circle or community).
--Trashing ex's prized possession, or worse yet, killing or injuring ex's pets (yes, this happens sometimes)
--Trying to break up a new relationship or using ex's new intimate relationship as leverage to ruin ex's reputation (because of the double standard, this works better on women than men and especially in pre-1970s settings).
--sabotaging ex's birth control (poke hole in diaphragm, or expose it to mineral oil or something like that, so she possibly gets pregnant).
--arson or other acts of extreme vandalism against ex's property (I can imagine someone who is pissed that their ex got the house, or kicked them out if they'd been shacked up, doing this).

trying to get her fired...hmmm that might actually work out well because she loves her job...


Okay--this is small town soap opera. It really happened in this county, but so many years ago I don't think the story needs much camouflage. A very old friend of mine, M, began dating a total drama prince/selfish jerk while we were still in college. His transgressions were many although he never hit her or the kids, always made very good money, never was verbally abusive and was home every night. "Good grief" you ask, "What did he do?"

Well, it doesn't really matter for your story but his specialty was total control, complete isolation. His first request, the very first month that they were dating, was that she cut all ties with her girlfriends. We were close, a circle of seven. She told us all that she was sorry but W and she had pledged to be each other's best friends. (No sweat for W. according to a friend who knew him well from high school--he didn't have any friends. His mother did not allow them.) So that was that. Over the next 20-30 years he squeezed out everyone in her life. She did not even chat with the neighbors. Her family? They weren't the most supportive people to begin with and this is why I figure they were easily discouraged. It was W's family and only W's family, every holiday, every birthday, every occasion. All socializing was one sided and familial. It was damned hard for M, my friend, because from day one she loathed W's mother. (I could tell you STORIES!) Over the years I talked to M maybe four times, usually through birth announcements, and then, soon after I was widowed, I heard that she divorced.

Naturally my friends and I couldn't wait to hear what the final straw had been. Well, it seems that W had an affair late in life with a much younger (but chubbier, woman--M is very petite and this really stung!) Being W, he went to M and confessed all, no doubt with tears and drama. She agreed to let him get this wild hair out of his system. He promised that he would be back, swore that he loved only her and begged her not to tell their kids. Naturally she promised that it would be her sad, sorry secret pain. (Damn! I would have ...never mind. Not about me.)

M had only one tiny condition, a favor, really,--he must swear never to tell his family. Of course he swore and that was that for the next five or six months. He had his way--as usual, and somehow managed to make himself a tragic hero because he was hurting the two women he loved. (Men! I would have ...never mind. Not about me.)

And then one day, while they were having a cup of tea face to face, his mother, out of the blue, embraced M and told her what a brave little soldier she was being through this whole sordid affair.

AND THAT WAS THAT. Without flinching, cursing or saying a word, M smiled and returned the embrace. She went straight home, hired the dirtiest lawyer in five counties and started the paperwork--some of it demanding a big piece of acreage--family acreage! When W got home from work M met him at the door with the news--he was paying for the lawyer and get the hell off her property. When he asked her why, she smiled and said "ask your mother."

There is another chapter to this story. I can't write it but it turns out well for M. She is still single but has a hell of a lot of cows.--s6

Wow, I'm so happy that M got out of that marriage...and she kept herself in tact...that's amazing!!! Thank you for sharing that! :)


As he's a drug dealer, perhaps she could discover that he has 'framed' her to protect himself in the event that he is ever implicated in something that involves encroaching on the activity of other gangs. All the evidence of what he did leads to her. So she's not only in terrible danger from the gangs, she can't go to the police either. And he leaves her to it.

That's definitely doable...I really like this idea...


I know you haven't given us much detail here, but what you have described reads to me not as a stubborn-in-love protagonist, but a woman self-rationalising an abusive relationship. Have you done much non-fiction reading around abuse in relationships and patterns of thought and behaviour?

I'm not sure her suddenly seeing the light as a result of a 'last straw' evil act scenario feels credible unless, as sassandgroove says, the act triggers a significant change in how she sees and feels about herself, not how she sees him. Given how immature her views on love are, you have scope for some pretty significant character growth. :) Otherwise it reads like she's prepared to put up with abuse so long as its just 'normal' abuse, not 'evil' abuse, and that's going to be a hard sell to build sympathy for, because most of your readers aren't going to accept that as a valid distinction.

One option for a trigger might be that his actions harm someone she cares about (human or furry), who he wouldn't have contact with except for her, and she suddenly realises that her acceptance of his behaviour has consequences for others.

Actually, that's the whole reason for the extremity, I apologize for the lack of detail...this is my first time in this section of the forum, so I'm not entirely sure how this thread works ;)
That last straw is going to be the one that not only makes her see what a horrible person he is, she is going to go through a huge internal shift. It's the light switch that has finally been turned on and she can see everything from a new perspective. So the extreme thing, it has to happen because it's going to be the driving force in her growth, and it will allow her to get the revenge she deserves.



Seconding Ms. Shepherd as hard as it is possible to second. Abuse narratives can get into sticky territory fast, and her advice is a great first step towards respecting your subject matter.

As for the last straw, what if it is something seemingly inconsequential, but meaningful to your MC. Like ex accidentally breaks a family heirloom, or blabs her embarrassing childhood nickname to his friends, or calls her a name she hates. Something that is deeply personal to her specifically, that will really hurt.

Could work, maybe him stealing a family heirloom and selling it...


I doubt there's one last event that I would believe would cause her to suddenly change her mind and leave him, because if she's self-justified this far, I can't think of anything she couldn't self-justify. Sacrificed the baby to Satan? He did it to give the baby untold advantages! etc.
Just as likely that one day she feels he crossed the line in some way, calls him on it, and he kills her. Lots of real-life versions of this story end like that. With her last thoughts being some variation of "He's choking me because he loves me! It's foreplay! We're trying kinky sex....."

But, I am not the audience for this sort of story about this kind of character.

LOL I can see that working in some sort of comedic type setting!


Deliberately hurting my pets, be it because he's an ass to animals, or to get to me. I've read about some angry partners or exes who killed the beloved pet or threw it into the street or a shelter to hurt the other person, and if anyone did that to me and my baby-babies, I would get very, very violent.

The pet theme seems to be popular, I like the idea because I think it would be impactful ...but in mentally processing it, I don't want to write about hurting animals. Call me a suck, but I honestly thing I would cry lol


I think I'd stick with the drug angle. Hard drugs? Does she use? Is there another woman she cares about, a sister or friend, whom she could discover him introducing to drugs? Whatever you use, plant that seed early though. Subtly, so you don't tip your hand, but something the reader could look back on and say, Ah, I should have known that would be her breaking point.

Also, I'd encourage you to give her ample reasons for staying all this time. Is love enough? Maybe. But why does she love him so much? What redeeming qualities, and they should be good ones, does he have? It's possible that the good he has is exactly the good she needs, something that has been lacking.

That is a good point...when they first met, he told her everything she so desperately wanted to hear. Maybe I will have to go into more depth on that.


Does the terrible thing actually have to be done TO the ex? I ask because personally, I'm much more tolerant of nastiness directed toward me than equivalent nastiness directed toward someone I care about, and I think a lot of people are the same way. I know someone who was in an abusive relationship for over a decade in the most spectacular demonstration of the "sunken cost fallacy" I've ever witnessed. Her rationale was literally: "It would be embarrassing to admit I willingly stayed with an abuser for such a long time, so...I'll just stay with him to avoid that shame."

It was when he turned his abuse on their daughter that she finally got up the nerve to leave the SOB. (Actually, even then she couldn't quite bring herself to leave him. The real push came from her best friend who gave her an ultimatum...leave the loser or BFF would call CPS herself).

That's a good question...I will have to do some thinking on this one...


First of all, why would she think she's found her love-of-life in a drug dealer? Seriously, there's no future in that. What's that say about what kind of character she has? Meaning, how is she able to delude herself to this point? But let's say he's told her that he's reformed, but she finds out he hasn't. And maybe, just maybe, he leaves the dope in her car or possession and she gets cracked instead of him. Big trouble now. The arresting officers tell her that they know it's not hers, but she either roll over on him or she's gonna take the fall. Even at that, she doesn't want to do it. It could be that this swell guy has already been busted, and knows that if he gets caught again, he's going away. Whereas, she, she has no priors. For anything. And so she can afford to take a pinch, in his eyes. This will tell her how little he really cares about her, and that when it comes down to it, he'd much prefer sacrificing her. This could lend a nice, running tension and a time element that would speed up the action, because she will have to decide one way or another. Just a thought, and sure proof that I'd rather think about your story than mine.

From what I know about their relationship so far, she fell in love with who he was pretending to be...when they met he told her everything she wanted to hear. I'm sure most of us can agree that when we first meet someone we put on the whole "Im perfect" act...and then you get to know each other and slowly things unveil themselves...I know I've been guilty of that in the past ;) but he took it to another level and made it seem like he was a Godsend...so she's sort of living in that delusion that he created from the beginning.
I really like this idea though...because I feel like it fits his character perfectly...he would totally do something like this...


Gaslighting. Convinced me I was crazy to the point of seeking psychiatric help. One of his tricks was to insist I had promised things in conversations I never remembered having. They were always small things, like going to the movies to see a particular show. The point was he was right, I was wrong, and he knew best.

I used to know a guy like that...one of the first guys I ever dated...everything I said he would say "babe, you should seek psychiatric help...honestly, im telling you this cuz I care about you"

You've all given me some things to think about...there are some really great ideas here. Thank you to everyone for their honest input, I've already got some ideas flowing! I just have to make sure they can make sense in the story!!!

sassandgroove
07-22-2016, 07:06 PM
THe thing with the pet is sad because I know people who have had that happen and be that thing that gets them to get out. One friend said her mother told her, "honey if he can make a dog disappear he can make you disappear."

SinoFyl
08-07-2016, 05:27 AM
Oh, yes -- Revenge Porn. Very au courant.

Roxxsmom
08-07-2016, 05:35 AM
I think I'd stick with the drug angle. Hard drugs? Does she use? Is there another woman she cares about, a sister or friend, whom she could discover him introducing to drugs?

Would someone be hanging out with their sister or friend's ex, though? One of my friends just divorced, and if her druggie ex husband showed up trying to get me to do anything, let alone take drugs, I'd send him packing and maybe call the cops. I think the worst thing he could do would be to fight for joint custody of the kids he had little interest in when they were together, or maybe fight to keep the house or force it to be split so she'd have to move too and wouldn't be able to afford a new one.

Refusing to pay child support isn't the worst thing someone can do, but depending on the financial situation the person finds themselves in after a divorce, it could be devastating too.


THe thing with the pet is sad because I know people who have had that happen and be that thing that gets them to get out. One friend said her mother told her, "honey if he can make a dog disappear he can make you disappear."


Unfortunately, he could still do horrible things to the dog (and continue to endanger her life) after she leaves too. So forcing someone to move out of the area, or even state (away from their support network, job and friends) is another horrible thing that can happen after a breakup.

bombergirl69
08-07-2016, 07:22 PM
Just adding to earlier comments. I'd go small, not big. A small act (compared to what he could do) that suddenly turns on the light for her. And it could come right after her seeing a man carry his wife's briefcase, or overhears a man asking his partner how she feels about something. A small daily event that triggers the realization I DONT NEED THIS SHIT. I wouldn't drag her hanging on too long bc it can be hard to keep emotionally supporting g her character. In waiting to exhale, McMillan does a great job of a character finally seeing the light. Good luck!!

bombergirl69
08-07-2016, 07:26 PM
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That animal harming/giving away stuff? You don't leave after that, you fucking kill him and dispose of the body and evidence.. THIS !^

bombergirl69
08-07-2016, 07:30 PM
On phone so posted before I was ready, but my point was that if she still needs a tsunami o crap to wake up, she hasn't learned much. Showing her "getting it" with "less extreme" abuse might show she's making progress!!!!��