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Albedo
05-11-2016, 06:07 AM
Pray for me, for I have the potentially deadly, mildly debilitating man-flu! Can you get ebola, zika and bubonic plague all at once? Because I think I've got them all. In case the brutal regimen of paracetamol, steamy showers and lemon tea fails to cure me, I want to donate my body to science so it can work towards liberating humanity from this killer.

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 06:08 AM
Why wait? let's dissect you now.

Albedo
05-11-2016, 06:16 AM
Why wait? let's dissect you now.

While I do yearn for the sweet release of vivisection, it could cause the manfluvia to spread quicker. Are your humours in balance?

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 06:19 AM
always.

I'll get my scalpal.

Silva
05-11-2016, 06:23 AM
I wanna know what woman flu is and can I get it if I'm around somebody with man flu.

be frank
05-11-2016, 06:25 AM
As someone now into week four of (proper) influenza, my sympathy levels are non-existent, mate.

Bloody wussy Aussie men.

:D

Roxxsmom
05-11-2016, 06:26 AM
Feel better soon. We wouldn't want to have to board your home up and burn it with you inside to avoid the spread of the pestilence (though Cassandra seems keen). Is she in your hemisphere, though?

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 06:28 AM
Feel better soon. We wouldn't want to have to board your home up and burn it with you inside to avoid the spread of the pestilence (though Cassandra seems keen). Is she in your hemisphere, though?

I love to travel. And I'm particularly fond of Australia.

Marlys
05-11-2016, 06:36 AM
I love to travel. And I'm particularly fond of Australia.

Don't they have, like, flying snakes that spit poisonous spiders at you? And weak beer?

Those both scare me.

Roxxsmom
05-11-2016, 06:39 AM
Australian wildlife is a major selling point.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eNEeq5qGh8I

And doesn't funnel web venom cure man flu?

Helix
05-11-2016, 06:39 AM
Here's a cup of concrete, m8.

Haggis
05-11-2016, 06:48 AM
Don't you people have vaccinations?

Helix
05-11-2016, 06:50 AM
Don't you people have vaccinations?

You're mistaking man-flu for an actual proper real genuine debilitating disease.

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 06:53 AM
You're mistaking man-flu for an actual proper real genuine debilitating disease.

it's something that would justify vivisection, though, right?

Haggis
05-11-2016, 06:53 AM
You're mistaking man-flu for an actual proper real genuine debilitating disease.
I see. You mean he has a little cold and is being a baby about it?

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 06:54 AM
I see. You mean he has a little cold and is being a baby about it?

most likely. but I'd like to make really, really sure of it.

Roxxsmom
05-11-2016, 06:55 AM
I see. You mean he has a little cold and is being a baby about it?

We won't know for sure unless Cassandra flies down there and opens him up.

Haggis
05-11-2016, 06:56 AM
According to GPS, she's already on her way.

Albedo
05-11-2016, 06:57 AM
I wanna know what woman flu is and can I get it if I'm around somebody with man flu.
Woman flu is a much less severe form of the same illness. Because womans evolved stronger immune systems so they could look after their men-folk with man-flu. It's all evolution. Ask a scientist.


As someone now into week four of (proper) influenza, my sympathy levels are non-existent, mate.

Bloody wussy Aussie men.

:D
See? This terrible stigma is what man-flu sufferers have to deal with. "No, you don't have nose cancer." "No, you're not going to die." We need some sort of awareness campaign. I propose a phlegm-coloured ribbon day.


Feel better soon. We wouldn't want to have to board your home up and burn it with you inside to avoid the spread of the pestilence (though Cassandra seems keen). Is she in your hemisphere, though?
Don't worry, I'll board myself up. Just come around in plague doctor masks shouting 'bring out your dead', then I'll know it's you guys.

Helix
05-11-2016, 06:58 AM
I see. You mean he has a little cold and is being a baby about it?

I'm not a medical doctor nor do I play one on television, so it's not for me to say.

yes


most likely. but I'd like to make really, really sure of it.

I think that's reasonable.

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 06:58 AM
hey, ladies, the plane is boarding. if you want to suggest any organs for removal, send a text. xoxo

Haggis
05-11-2016, 07:04 AM
hey, ladies, the plane is boarding. if you want to suggest any organs for removal, send a text. xoxo

Family forum, Cass.

Albedo
05-11-2016, 07:09 AM
There's a conspicuous lack of support in this support thread.

Nevertheless, can I recommend the pancreas, complemented by a drier pinot grigio? Perhaps a 2013.

Roxxsmom
05-11-2016, 07:10 AM
Okay, someone really needs to affix Cass's avatar with one of those 16th century bird-beak plague masks (http://www.albany.edu/news/images/Renaissance_Plague_Doctor_Image.jpg).

Haggis
05-11-2016, 07:13 AM
Okay, someone really needs to affix Cass's avatar with one of those 16th century bird-beak plague masks (http://www.albany.edu/news/images/Renaissance_Plague_Doctor_Image.jpg).

:roll:

I love those things.

Siri Kirpal
05-11-2016, 07:13 AM
Sat Nam! (Literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

Sending prayers. It looks like you've already got players.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal

MaryMumsy
05-11-2016, 07:23 AM
That's our Cass, generous to a fault and always willing to go the extra mile.

Sorry Albedo, you remind me of my Dad and husband: no one was ever as ill as they were that lived. Pull on your big boy panties.

MM

Haggis
05-11-2016, 07:25 AM
That's our Cass, generous to a fault and always willing to go the extra mile.

Sorry Albedo, you remind me of my Dad and husband: no one was ever as ill as they were that lived. Pull on your big boy panties.

MM

You know, Albedo, the lack of compassion in this thread is almost palpable. Whatever that means.

c.e.lawson
05-11-2016, 07:26 AM
I see. You mean he has a little cold and is being a baby about it?

You can't even wrap your head around that, can you Haggis.


There's a conspicuous lack of support in this support thread.

Nevertheless, can I recommend the pancreas, complemented by a drier pinot grigio? Perhaps a 2013.

Unlike Cass who's on her way with scalpel in hand, I'm having such a good laugh from your posts that I wish I could bring by some homemade chicken soup, a sherpa blanket, and soft fuzzy slippers for you. Hang in there. *pats Albedo on the head*

mccardey
05-11-2016, 07:30 AM
I propose a phlegm-coloured ribbon day. I say we save him from Cass just for that one line. I'll even make him lemon-and-ginger tea - nicely cooled so as not to burn the poor mouth. There, there, brave boy... :granny:

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 07:40 AM
Gentlemen, I want you to know that I am determined to get to the bottom of man flu, no matter how many mildly sniffly man-children I need to vivisect. We will find a cure.

Roxxsmom
05-11-2016, 07:40 AM
Hmm, what sort of symbol would be good for raising awareness and support for Man Flu research? What color phlegm do you have, Albedo?

Albedo
05-11-2016, 07:42 AM
Sat Nam! (Literally "Truth Name"--a Sikh greeting)

Sending prayers. It looks like you've already got players.

Blessings,

Siri Kirpal
Thanks Siri! If not the man flu, I'll need your prayers to protect me from these psycho physicians.


That's our Cass, generous to a fault and always willing to go the extra mile.

Sorry Albedo, you remind me of my Dad and husband: no one was ever as ill as they were that lived. Pull on your big boy panties.

MM
Do I need a prescription for those?


Unlike Cass who's on her way with scalpel in hand, I'm having such a good laugh from your posts that I wish I could bring by some homemade chicken soup, a sherpa blanket, and soft fuzzy slippers for you. Hang in there. *pats Albedo on the head*

I say we save him from Cass just for that one line. I'll even make him lemon-and-ginger tea - nicely cooled so as not to burn the poor mouth. There, there, brave boy... :granny:
See? This is more like it. This is the kind of TLC that men evolved the man-whinge to elicit. Also science.

Silva
05-11-2016, 07:43 AM
Woman flu is a much less severe form of the same illness. Because womans evolved stronger immune systems so they could look after their men-folk with man-flu. It's all evolution. Ask a scientist.

Well that's a relief because because the only "woman flu" thingy I could think of was the kind that lasts 3-9 months and I was *this* close to building myself a copper suit.



See? This terrible stigma is what man-flu sufferers have to deal with. "No, you don't have nose cancer." "No, you're not going to die." We need some sort of awareness campaign. I propose a phlegm-coloured ribbon day.

Streaky yellow, red, white, green and clear? Sounds pretty.

Albedo
05-11-2016, 07:45 AM
Hmm, what sort of symbol would be good for raising awareness and support for Man Flu research? What color phlegm do you have, Albedo?

I think there are blood clots in it. Though they might be chocolate biscuit crumbs.

mccardey
05-11-2016, 07:52 AM
We may have overstepped the TMI Marcation.

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 07:54 AM
There's only one way to stop it, you know.

Silva
05-11-2016, 07:56 AM
Let's not be phlegmist, now.

ajaye
05-11-2016, 09:17 AM
I think there are blood clots in it. Though they might be chocolate biscuit crumbs.

You'll never get any sympathy if you confess to eating chocolate biscuits.

mccardey
05-11-2016, 09:22 AM
You'll never get any sympathy if you confess to eating chocolate biscuits. Or blood clots.

Roxxsmom
05-11-2016, 10:44 AM
Or blood clots.

Ew.

Man phlegm blood pudding?

neandermagnon
05-11-2016, 10:45 AM
Woman flu is a much less severe form of the same illness. Because womans evolved stronger immune systems so they could look after their men-folk with man-flu. It's all evolution. Ask a scientist.


See? This terrible stigma is what man-flu sufferers have to deal with. "No, you don't have nose cancer." "No, you're not going to die." We need some sort of awareness campaign. I propose a phlegm-coloured ribbon day.


Don't worry, I'll board myself up. Just come around in plague doctor masks shouting 'bring out your dead', then I'll know it's you guys.

Man flu is real. Men have weaker immune systems than women because testosterone has a slight dampening effect on the immune system. On average, men get slightly iller than women from the same infections.

Non-pregnant woman flu is slightly milder than man flu. However, pregnant woman flu is way, way worse than man flu. So men do not have a monopoly on getting more ill. Not by a long shot.

Also, as a lone mother of two primary school age children who has to carry on looking after them even if I'm ill (even worse if I'm looking after two ill kids when I'm ill), I'm a bit short on sympathy for men who are only slightly iller (on average) than women get, but are able to retire to their beds undisturbed for the duration of their illness. (Lone dads who can't do that - you do have my sympathy.)

On a more serious note: if you're in the UK you can get flu vaccines for free if you're pregnant or have a medical condition that makes flu more dangerous. And if you're not in those categories, you can get one in Asda for less than a tenner.

Roxxsmom
05-11-2016, 10:47 AM
Ah, but we've already established that "man flu" is really just a cold. No cold vaccines. Though men get sicker with the same common cold infection on average too*

Anecdotally, my husband usually gets worse cases of the colds we both catch, and he's more likely to bring home viruses I don't catch than I am to get bring home viruses he doesn't catch. He seems to get one more cold a year than I do, on average.



*It's an average, of course. Men and women can both have strong or weak immune systems and ones that can wax and wane in strength due to various factors.

Helix
05-11-2016, 11:02 AM
Man flu is real. Men have weaker immune systems than women because testosterone has a slight dampening effect on the immune system. On average, men get slightly iller than women from the same infections.

Non-pregnant woman flu is slightly milder than man flu. However, pregnant woman flu is way, way worse than man flu. So men do not have a monopoly on getting more ill. Not by a long shot.

Also, as a lone mother of two primary school age children who has to carry on looking after them even if I'm ill (even worse if I'm looking after two ill kids when I'm ill), I'm a bit short on sympathy for men who are only slightly iller (on average) than women get, but are able to retire to their beds undisturbed for the duration of their illness. (Lone dads who can't do that - you do have my sympathy.)

On a more serious note: if you're in the UK you can get flu vaccines for free if you're pregnant or have a medical condition that makes flu more dangerous. And if you're not in those categories, you can get one in Asda for less than a tenner.

It's not flu.

asroc
05-11-2016, 02:05 PM
I wanna know what woman flu is and can I get it if I'm around somebody with man flu.

As a medical science-type person, woman flu does not exist. The difference in immune system development and symptom manifestation is caused by an unique assortment of genes found only on the Y chromosome. So while a common rhinovirus infection might cause a woman to experience sneezing, a runny nose and mild joint pain, a man's symptoms might manifest with explosive nasal cavity evacuation, continuous mucus discharge and unpleasant sensory experiences in the musculoskeletal system. Therefore it is clearly a dangerous medical emergency. Fortunately men tend to be vocal about their discomfort, so it is easily diagnosed. If they were more stoic about it, the results could be catastrophic.


Pray for me, for I have the potentially deadly, mildly debilitating man-flu! Can you get ebola, zika and bubonic plague all at once? Because I think I've got them all.

Yes, sorry. RIP.

Introversion
05-11-2016, 03:34 PM
Feel better soon. We wouldn't want to have to board your home up and burn it with you inside to avoid the spread of the pestilence

I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

regdog
05-11-2016, 04:27 PM
Don't worry, I'll board myself up. Just come around in plague doctor masks shouting 'bring out your dead', then I'll know it's you guys.

Someone had to post it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU0d8kpybVg)

Silva
05-11-2016, 09:38 PM
Someone had to post it (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GU0d8kpybVg)

I recently watched that movie for the first time in my life (as well as some of the show) and between that and LOTR (which I also watched for the first time very recently) I think I am now a whopping 3% more culturally literate than before.

c.e.lawson
05-11-2016, 10:02 PM
Has anyone heard from Albedo this morning? I'm a little concerned he may have...uh...passed during the night. Not surprising - there's a high mortality rate for people struck simultaneously with Ebola, zika, and bubonic plague. Anyway, please let me know if anyone hears from the poor man. And if no one has heard from him, can one of the Aussies go and grab the body before it's too late to be useful for science?
KThxBye

Sophia
05-11-2016, 10:07 PM
I think the fact that he's in Australia basically doomed him from the start. It's amazing he survived this long, really.

c.e.lawson
05-11-2016, 10:10 PM
I think the fact that he's in Australia basically doomed him from the start. It's amazing he survived this long, really.

This is true. Can you imagine a box jelly sting on top of the three viruses?

Sophia
05-11-2016, 10:14 PM
Hmm. He did express a wish to contribute to medical science. There would be more data available if we experimented on him before the inevitable, not just afterwards.

CassandraW, can you stop by a beach on your way to the poor soul?

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 10:23 PM
Hmm. He did express a wish to contribute to medical science. There would be more data available if we experimented on him before the inevitable, not just afterwards.

CassandraW, can you stop by a beach on your way to the poor soul?

Of course. Anything to further the cause of science.

Haggis
05-11-2016, 11:30 PM
Can you catch a virus by sharing a thread with an infected person? I sneezed this morning and I'm frightened.

CassandraW
05-11-2016, 11:39 PM
Can you catch a virus by sharing a thread with an infected person? I sneezed this morning and I'm frightened.

There's only one way to find out. I'll stop by when I'm finished with Albedo.

Albedo
05-12-2016, 06:55 AM
Geez, you guys. I was sleeping on doctor's orders. Not that it's helped. I think it's just given the man-flu time to regroup.

And Cassandra, I'm not sure welfare checks usually involve an axe, a taser, and an ether-soaked rag. Are you sure you're a qualified community health worker?

Haggis
05-12-2016, 07:16 AM
Talk to the beak, Albedo.

And keep her away from me.

jjdebenedictis
05-12-2016, 07:38 AM
I find the fastest cure for man-flu is for women to stare at the afflicted man with looks of mingled disdain and scorn upon their faces.

Or at least it cures the whining. And no one really cares about alleviating any of the other man-baby symptoms, do we?

Haggis
05-12-2016, 07:52 AM
In case anyone wants to help me out, single malt Scotch whisky always helps.

Just saying.

GailD
05-12-2016, 02:53 PM
Interesting that Prof. S. Nottencoff, from some or other university, with too many u's in it, had this to say about it...


The recent phenomenon of man flu, most notably in the late 20th and early 21st century, is proof of the continuing evolution of hominids. That this particular example of homopatheticus has been discovered on the Australian continent is not surprising, given that it is a continent long known to be inhabited by peculiar and enigmatic specimens. I would not, however, wish to speculate on the eventual outcome of this particular evolutionary process.

:Shrug:

CassandraW
05-13-2016, 07:06 AM
So. I've examined Albedo and removed some superfluous organs. And I can now conclusively diagnose him as having the sniffles. Also, he is wussy.

Haggis
05-13-2016, 07:12 AM
That seems harsh.

CassandraW
05-13-2016, 07:15 AM
Are you questioning my expertise? I am, after all, a plague doctor.

Haggis
05-13-2016, 07:16 AM
But none of this has anything to to with single malt Scotch Whisky, does it? Where are your priorities?

CassandraW
05-13-2016, 07:18 AM
I'm sorry, Haggis. I lost my head. Must have been this aromatic crap I stuffed in my mask to protect against man-flu miasma.

Haggis
05-13-2016, 07:20 AM
No matter. Bring me several cases of Lagavulin and all will be forgiven.

CassandraW
05-13-2016, 07:23 AM
Certainly. I'd planned to visit you anyway while I still had my scalpel handy. The scotch should take the edge off my ministrations.

Haggis
05-13-2016, 07:24 AM
Um...

CassandraW
05-13-2016, 07:28 AM
On my way! Looking forward to it!

jjdebenedictis
05-13-2016, 07:34 AM
Certainly. I'd planned to visit you anyway while I still had my scalpel handy. The scotch should take the edge off my ministrations.
It's also a good disinfectant. No chance of someone catching man-flu if you slosh it around liberally.

And then you can touch a match to the evidence and there's no chance of someone catching you.

jjdebenedictis
05-13-2016, 07:36 AM
Can you catch a virus by sharing a thread with an infected person? I sneezed this morning and I'm frightened.If that's true, it explains the sore throat I've developed.

Of course, I'm not a man, so it'll be gone by morning, no biggie.

mccardey
05-13-2016, 07:38 AM
Albedo? *prod* Albedo! Speak to us!

Albedo
05-13-2016, 07:44 AM
OK, OK, it's the sniffles.


Can I please have my spleen back?

Roxxsmom
05-13-2016, 07:46 AM
Pah, you don't need your spleen you big baby!

Seriously, I'm conceiving a great desire to get a plague doctor costume to wear to work on Halloween next year. Or maybe just to keep around for that special time of year when all the students and faculty start getting sick.

mccardey
05-13-2016, 07:48 AM
OK, OK, it's the sniffles.


Can I please have my spleen back? First he wants sympathy, now he wants a spleen. These men...

CassandraW
05-13-2016, 07:49 AM
OK, OK, it's the sniffles.


Can I please have my spleen back?

whinge, whinge, whinge -- is that all you can do? "I have the man-flu." "you took my spleen." men. honestly.

fine then. you can have it back. I'll mail it when I get to Haggis's place.

mccardey
05-13-2016, 07:57 AM
fine then. you can have it back. Cassandra is way too easy. Yes or no?

ETA: That really deserves a poll....

Roxxsmom
05-13-2016, 08:52 AM
But Vince isn't here to make one.

swachski
05-13-2016, 04:13 PM
...testosterone has a slight dampening effect...

Mind if I take this out of context?



Cassandra is way too easy. Yes or no?


It's typically the first symptom..

CassandraW
05-13-2016, 04:42 PM
Cassandra is way too easy. Yes or no?

ETA: That really deserves a poll....

it was mere momentary weakness. albedo has forfeited all claim to his spleen by his continued refusal to find "blanky mcblankyface" monikers adorable.

swachski
05-13-2016, 05:32 PM
So he's a Fooey McManFluFace?

c.e.lawson
05-13-2016, 08:32 PM
whinge, whinge, whinge -- is that all you can do? "I have the man-flu." "you took my spleen." men. honestly.

fine then. you can have it back. I'll mail it when I get to Haggis's place.

I think you're supposed to pack it in milk. That will keep it fresh for reinsertion, if I recall correctly.
Or was that when you knock out a tooth? Well, either one, it can't hurt, right?

Roxxsmom
05-14-2016, 12:05 AM
I think you're supposed to pack it in milk. That will keep it fresh for reinsertion, if I recall correctly.
Or was that when you knock out a tooth? Well, either one, it can't hurt, right?

I heard it was best to hold it in your mouth on the way to the ER, but if the patient is unconscious to out it in milk.

Checks size of human spleen. It's kind of long and wedge shaped, but it might fit if you kind of fold it up.

c.e.lawson
05-14-2016, 03:47 AM
I heard it was best to hold it in your mouth on the way to the ER, but if the patient is unconscious to out it in milk.

Checks size of human spleen. It's kind of long and wedge shaped, but it might fit if you kind of fold it up.

the visual :roll:
Only if one hasn't had dental cleaning in a while. Something about the proper mix of bacteria...

PorterStarrByrd
05-14-2016, 04:01 AM
* farts *

c.e.lawson
05-14-2016, 04:29 AM
* farts *

Perfect!

PorterStarrByrd
05-14-2016, 02:14 PM
..... killed that thread

Dennis E. Taylor
05-14-2016, 05:07 PM
..... killed that thread

And several of the participants.