Meetup Group Experiences?

Fruitbat · Mar 28, 2016

Has anyone organized or attended any meetup groups? I've attended a couple a while back and just started one of my own. It's for married (or the equivalent) couples in our geographical area and age group, to meet and socialize with.

I'm somewhere between annoyed and amused now because I've had as many people join who didn't meet the basics as who did, and had to kick them out already.

I think it's very clear what the group is so I have no idea why singles keep signing up. Most of the social groups on there, by far, are for singles, which is why I started my own just for the marrieds. DH and I want to meet a few fun couples to hang out with like we had way back when.

Anyway, I am puzzled. If I was single I wouldn't want to hang out with a bunch of coupled up strangers. Well, most of them did seem to plan on bringing a date or at least someone they're not "married or the equivalent" with, regardless of what I stated. This is not hard to figure out when their profile lists a half dozen singles groups that they're in. When we're trying to find couples to have dinner and a movie with now and then, I don't want to put in the effort with those who are likely to not even be together anymore by the time we get to know them a bit.

Also, since every other couples group seemed to specify (often all in caps with lots of exclamation marks) "no swingers," I stated that, too. But from snooping around on a couple of the member profiles, I suspect some of them didn't pay any attention to that, either.

Or maybe people just can't read. LOL. No biggie but I didn't expect fully half of my sign-ups to be specifically who I was not inviting.

One woman, who at least messaged to ask me first if she could join anyway with her casual boyfriend, also warned me darkly that one of the other women who had recently joined my group is a bitch. Not sure what to do with that bit of news haha.

I'll keep y'all updated if anyone cares... Any strange meetup stories out there?

ETA: My first event is now full!

ZachJPayne · Mar 28, 2016

When I was in Carson City, I looked up a writer's group. Several 50+ ladies; I'm the only man and the youngest by about two decades. I thought it was strange at the time; only once I joined SCBWI did I realize that this, more or less, was going to be my lot.

Very nice, though. We met at Starbucks, wrote, talked about our projects. I didn't come back again, though -- I just felt like I was crashing.

I want to try it out in CA again, maybe try something other than the writing aspect of my life.

God, is there another aspect to my life?

Brightdreamer · Mar 28, 2016

I had to google "Meetup" - that's how socially and technologically inept I am...

The closest thing I've done to that is meeting up with fannish friends I knew from the internet fifteen-odd years back. Went rather well, actually. Still talk with a few of them on Facebook.

Every now and again, I look for groups or classes of some sort in my area, but never find anything that appeals to me. (Just skimmed the Meetup page for my town, and it's mostly mommy groups, business/moneymaking schemes, and spirituality/New Age stuff, plus a few hobbies I don't do. Eh, well...)

Kerosene · Mar 28, 2016

I cut down the writing groups I'm attending to the one in my Uni. Writing groups can be rather hit-or-miss. Most outside Uni have older folks, and I think partly because they take place at bars. One group was ageist as shit towards twenties me, and I had to just walk out. Others at restaurants that allow the younger crowd do get more teenagers and such, but they're not serious about writing as much as they are serious about talking about book covers, what'll they do when they get rich, and whatever popular YA novel that's out.

Oh, don't bother meeting up with random folks for drinks in another country. Met up with a few folks to hit up a karaoke bar in Japan a while back. I meshed into the Japanese businessmen and was singing Oasis and David Bowie with them while the group of randoms I met up with sat on the side-lines. The couple asked where the bathroom was and I never saw them again. Two others just peeled off. Shame, it turned into a pretty good night. 300yen highballs, met a girl who could roll well, and a nice mist in the brisk night to help cut the hot sweat. Was a good night.

randi.lee · Mar 29, 2016

My "writing group" stories are sad, at best. I live in an area known as "The Valley" which is the term lovingly given to an area full of quite snobbish writers. Unfortunately, the writing community around here is somewhat elitist and often frowns upon anything that isn't of the literary genre. I'd love to have a good writing group around here that doesn't turn their nose down upon anything that isn't their style! Even if they're a bit crazy...I'm a bit crazy, so I'd fit right in!

akiwiguy · Mar 29, 2016

I doubt if I'd have ever remembered it, were it not for this thread...but I did go to a writers meetup once. Strange.

On the other hand, I got right into a street-photography group when I was working in Melbourne...in fact alone in a new city I found that it was a quite important part of my week, in terms of looking at the city in a different way, meeting rather cool people. It had a really stable and growing bunch of enthusiasts, some of them very skilled. Am beginning to explore groups a bit where I am now, and the one photography group I attended was a lovely bunch of people...also a couple of very professional models which is always a freebie for which I'm grateful.

There are OK meetup groups out there, and I guess I'd be kinda curious to check out another writers' one. It depends what one hopes to get out of (and maybe put into) a group.

CindyGirl · Mar 29, 2016

I belong to a great group. We meet in a library conference room, which I think sets the stage for serious work. Eighteen people are part of the group though we only have ten or so at each meeting. The ages vary from twenties to sixties. Our moderator is very good and respectful of all members-a factor critical to success in my opinion. We have various levels of skill and writing fields. Novelists, free-lance, reporters, etc.

Finding a good group is like finding the right pair of shoes. You must try several on before you commit. Great people are out there. If you can't find a group, start one.

akiwiguy · Mar 29, 2016

It's great that you've found such a group CindyGirl.

I was re-thinking my somewhat dismissive summary of my one meetup group experience up there...and should in fairness say that I was probably a duck out of water to some extent. In that I don't really have the drive or discipline in my writing that others, say on this forum, do. I learned to accept that I'm happy to write for personal pleasure and nothing more. I absolutely admire those who I see really working hard at the craft, and I love seeing the discussion here on the forums around that passion. But I'm absolutely OK within myself to say that I don't have any ambition whatsoever regarding writing, yet really enjoy the process. It's a strangely personal thing to me, an outlet of some kind...and one I tend to drift into and out of a bit. Probably, if I could choose only one leisure pursuit, I'd go the photography way. So it's fairly obvious why I felt more enthused by those meet-ups.

So my evaluation of my one experience of a writers' group was probably very unreliable.

Fruitbat · Mar 29, 2016

Okay, already I see that for next month's meetup I'm gonna have to get much more restrictive with who gets in. I just kicked out a couple more single joiners. I was worried that no one would want to come so I didn't do the thing where people have to be approved or fill out a questionnaire to be accepted. It didn't occur to me that people would be trying to slip in against the group rules lol. I still don't get it. Maybe they want to hang out with other couples even if they are in a more casual relationship or maybe a lot of people just don't read very closely. ?

Also, from the meetups I've attended, it's really seemed like there's just no telling what kind of crowd you might end up in!

davidjgalloway · Mar 29, 2016

Fruitbat, if nothing else, please keep your meetup for the inspirational potential to figure in your new novel. I was giggling all the way through it

Fruitbat · Mar 29, 2016

gallowayprof said:
Fruitbat, if nothing else, please keep your meetup for the inspirational potential to figure in your new novel. I was giggling all the way through it

Thank you! I'm glad someone enjoyed it because they are really starting to piss me off! I still don't get it...

cray · Mar 29, 2016

*signs up for fruitbat's swingers party*

Wicked · Mar 29, 2016

cray said:
*signs up for fruitbat's swingers party*

Well I'm not.

Not with such a bias against threesomes. :ROFL:

Brightdreamer · Mar 29, 2016

Fruitbat said:
Okay, already I see that for next month's meetup I'm gonna have to get much more restrictive with who gets in. I just kicked out a couple more single joiners. I was worried that no one would want to come so I didn't do the thing where people have to be approved or fill out a questionnaire to be accepted. It didn't occur to me that people would be trying to slip in against the group rules lol. I still don't get it. Maybe they want to hang out with other couples even if they are in a more casual relationship or maybe a lot of people just don't read very closely. ?

Also, from the meetups I've attended, it's really seemed like there's just no telling what kind of crowd you might end up in!

My guess is that some people just spam-join anything they can without reading, or even really intending to follow through and attend - gives them options come Friday night after work. Others might just be hoping any given Meetup will turn into booze-and-hookups. Some few might be closet Amway salespeople trying to find new venues, or ambitious missionaries after a group conversion. The rest are restless undead seeking blood and/or souls to prolong their tormented existence as the damned walking the face of the Earth.

Well, on second thought, I don't expect Amway works that way... could be wrong about that one.

robjvargas · Mar 29, 2016

I've joined one started by a fellow AW'er. That one's been great. We keep it small, very few rules. Members from age 20 on up.

Albedo · Mar 29, 2016

It's hard to know without seeing your ad, Fruitbat, why it's acting like flypaper to buzzing singles. Depends how you say it. If it's "Fruitbat's Couples-only evening for Couples: we plan to get together to do married couple stuff with other married couples", then yeah, everyone's going to assume it's a swinger thing, sorry.

If, however, you clearly state it's a social club and mention all the fun things you're going to do, like go bowling, or attend exhibitions of Akkadian art or something, then specifying 'couples-only' will just be seen as a challenge. Hey, I like bowling and Mesopotamian sculpture as well. Why aren't I invited? You got something against singles, huh? I'll charm you with my winsome, carefree singlehood if it's the last goddamn thing I do!

Fruitbat · Mar 29, 2016

LOL! I wish you crazies lived closer. I'd gladly hang out with y'all instead.

Fruitbat · Mar 30, 2016

So now I've revamped the requirements so people have to apply and be approved before they can join my group. And I just had to turn down the most adorable and wonderful guy (from his profile info. anyway) because he's single. I should change the group rules to let cute single men join hahaha. *dodges glare from selfish husband*

Fruitbat · Mar 30, 2016

Well! Some single woman just PM'd me (on meetup, not here) that I am very petty and jealous and not worth her time.

I answered her back nicely to see what more she has to say. This is getting very interesting.

Fruitbat, very petty and jealous and not worth your time. Also, apparently, clueless.

KTC · Mar 30, 2016

I find I join a lot and then taste them for compatibility. I have to confess I don't always leave the group when I stop going. I have attended several writing related groups in the GTA here. They've all been pretty good. Sometimes, I find a nutter will try to hang on...like they think I have a magic recipe for publication or something.

Amadan · Mar 30, 2016

I've joined a few boardgame and Poker meetups. I have noticed several generic "Let's get together and socialize" meetups in my area, but they don't interest me.

I have been surprised how much drama can be generated even within boardgaming meetups, though.

Maryn · Mar 30, 2016

KTC said:
I find I join a lot and then taste them for compatibility. I have to confess I don't always leave the group when I stop going. I have attended several writing related groups in the GTA here. They've all been pretty good. Sometimes, I find a nutter will try to hang on...like they think I have a magic recipe for publication or something.

This reads way more fun if I read GTA as Grand Theft Auto rather than Greater Toronto Area. Just had to share that.

At one time I sought writing groups via Meet-Up, but the ones I found were either closed to new members or clearly run by a petty martinet, based on the "welcome" message. It's been years since I looked, though.

Maryn, who could be a petty martinet but not knuckle under to one

s.cummings · Apr 8, 2016

Awkward.

I showed up in a speedo, and I was riding a pink blow-up unicorn.

Showed up for the wrong "group experience" :Shrug:

veinglory · Apr 8, 2016

I've been running a writers Meetup for about 8 years. I may be a petty martinet but if so my soldiers remain insolent

Maryn · Apr 9, 2016

That's the perfect balance, then, isn't it?

Meetup Group Experiences?

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