View Full Version : At First Blush

William Haskins
03-04-2016, 04:30 AM
For a sliver
of a moment,
she acquiesced,

as leaves
surrender to a
stirring breeze.

The earth spun
like a mad carousel
and dizzied me
with memories.

03-04-2016, 04:47 AM
I love the simple imagery of this poem...
However, I curious as to how this imagery of things old, things in a potential state of decay (memories, acquiesced, leaves surrendering to breezes) connects with the title? Forgive my potential ignorance???

William Haskins
03-04-2016, 04:50 AM
i've already said too much.

03-04-2016, 05:05 AM
Damn, and I had the olive fork all ready for you.

It's a lovely, delicate thing, just like the moment it describes. I don't see decay in the images, at least not at (heh) first blush. I see the leaves green and alive on the tree, the breeze fresh and rousing, and memories as thrilling as the carousel ride.

But that said, there is your title -- which implies that this fragile, poignant moment might not be all it seems at first blush -- and the first two lines, which tell us that her acquiescence was fleeting.

Then too, the word "acquiesce " implies a certain reluctance -- going along with something quietly, but not enthusiastically. It is not quite agreement, not quite surrender -- and here it is only for a a sliver of a moment, so it is temporary.

And of course, I suppose all leaves do decay eventually, the passing breeze dies, and the carousel must stop sometime.

I would reconsider the olive fork in light of that, but the poem is too lovely for me to insist that the ephemeral sliver of an uplifting moment you've provided continue into eternity (particularly as no uplifting moments ever do). You may keep your eyes.

jaus tail
03-04-2016, 09:47 AM
I liked this. I think it's about how one feels when his/her loved one blushes.

There are two people. One person is blushing because of another person.

The one who blushes is as helpless to control it as leaves stirring under wind.

The effect of that blush is happiness on the other person's face like he's excited(yes, she smiled at me, yes, yes, yes) like a mad carousel.

William Haskins
03-04-2016, 07:48 PM
thank you all for reading.

03-05-2016, 02:09 AM

BTW, tt's nice to see you stretching your legs a bit in your recent poems. I'm enjoying the revival.

William Haskins
03-05-2016, 04:32 AM
i have grown exceedingly tired of myself.

03-05-2016, 05:04 AM
Me too—of me. I love this poem. It does capture a breezy, delicate moment.

03-05-2016, 05:16 AM
The hook of hope is very pointy. Golden, but pointy.

03-05-2016, 05:19 AM
like an olive fork pointy?

03-05-2016, 08:56 PM
this poem slows me down. in a good way.
agree with wonderactivitst: it does capture a breezy, delicate moment.

I want to write like this.

why are you tired of yourself?

03-05-2016, 09:36 PM
I often tire of myself, and small wonder -- I've been stuck with me 24/7/365 for decades. The rest of you are fortunate to only get me in dribs and drabs.

I never find William tiresome, however. And I am indebted to his poetry for many a refreshing break from myself.

03-09-2016, 06:33 PM
beautiful. Like Sara, I am enjoying the variety.

It's a familiar voice; I know it's you, but it's different.

How very faceted, you are. Same gem, different angle, different light.


Latina Bunny
03-23-2016, 07:28 AM
Very cute! :3

It definitely feels like a brief romantic moment. It's the moment where the crush reluctantly agrees to a dinner, or even to a date. Or maybe a little coffee get together...which can lead to something more (romantic).

*gasp* Maybe she was reluctant because they were originally rivals, or enemies, or something. Maybe star crossed lovers, whose families disapprove of such an affair! :0 *gasps again*

The POV character is just so happy his (or her!) crush finally said "Yes"!

The memories line stumped me for a bit. It could mean the POV character is thinking of the times he remembers being with his crush (in a platonic way), or remembers their past moments with said crush. Ooh, maybe they were exes! And they're re-connecting again! *sparkly eyes*

Or, an alternative is that it could be the POV character is older (or the crush/loved one has died) and the POV character is just reminiscing about that early romantic encounter.

(Lol @ me interpretating multiple poems as old people constantly reminiscing about the past. XD )