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William Haskins
02-25-2016, 05:03 AM
He tumbled from his
mother's womb a warrior,

besieged on every front,
he hunted, bored with hunger,

weary of his prey and
the empty threat of thunder.

His learning turned
on ethics, to wit:

guilt is the folly of fools;
love, a bestial lie.

This is how some men live
and die.

poetinahat
02-25-2016, 05:17 AM
Now that's grim. It could be an epitaph, or it could be a warning.

"Bored with hunger" - imagine. That's a hell of an expansive image.

William Haskins
02-25-2016, 07:12 AM
my next poem will be something uplifting, so help me god, or i'll pluck out my eyes with an olive fork.

C.bronco
02-25-2016, 07:18 AM
Oh. Olive forks are scary. Please consider alternatives.

CassandraW
02-25-2016, 07:20 AM
my next poem will be something uplifting, so help me god, or i'll pluck out my eyes with an olive fork.

I for one will hold you to it.

Kylabelle
02-25-2016, 07:22 AM
Olive forks themselves are uplifting when used well.

Perks
02-25-2016, 07:29 AM
"Bored with hunger" - imagine. That's a hell of an expansive image.Ha. That's the snippet that zapped me, too. Wonderful poem. I'm too stupid and sleepy to wax well on this, but it weighs more than its typeface. Love it.

poetinahat
02-25-2016, 07:51 AM
my next poem will be something uplifting, so help me god, or i'll pluck out my eyes with an olive fork.

William, I've been listening to David Bowie exclusively for seven weeks straight, and it looks like I will be doing so at least until this bizarro election year is over.

This IS uplifting.

Kylabelle
02-25-2016, 07:57 AM
This IS uplifting.

Have an olive?

CassandraW
02-25-2016, 07:59 AM
William, I've been listening to David Bowie exclusively for seven weeks straight, and it looks like I will be doing so at least until this bizarro election year is over.

This IS uplifting.

I was under the impression this poem was about the election.

Kylabelle
02-25-2016, 08:00 AM
I was under the impression this poem was about the electionerection.

There. Typos happen.

CassandraW
02-25-2016, 08:01 AM
When William writes a poem about an erection, I shall not overlook it.

Kylabelle
02-25-2016, 08:08 AM
It would be uplifting.

CassandraW
02-25-2016, 08:13 AM
Indeed. I shall look forward to it.

poetinahat
02-25-2016, 08:16 AM
I look at yours
You laugh at mine
And love is just a Miserable Lie
(smiths)

CassandraW
02-25-2016, 08:20 AM
William, I'm afraid your thread has gone rogue.

poetinahat
02-25-2016, 10:31 AM
William, I'm afraid your thread has gone rogue rouge.

Khmer and say that to his face.

William Haskins
02-25-2016, 04:21 PM
William, I'm afraid your thread has gone rogue.

that's unfortunate.

Kylabelle
02-25-2016, 04:32 PM
It's my fault. I just love olives. I'm leaving now.

Kylabelle
02-25-2016, 04:44 PM
He tumbled from his
mother's womb a warrior,

besieged on every front,
he hunted, bored with hunger,

weary of his prey and
the empty threat of thunder.

His learning turned
on ethics, to wit:

guilt is the folly of fools;
love, a bestial lie.

This is how some men live
and die.

Portrait of a sociopath -- and the language is as stunning good as yours always is, William. In so few words, so much is made clear. I always enjoy your poems more each time I read them and this is no exception. Gets its hooks in, it does. :)

I_love_coffee
02-25-2016, 10:16 PM
greatly enjoyed this.

I didn't picture a sociopath, though. Just someone who's had to live a very hard life.

Kylabelle
02-25-2016, 10:23 PM
greatly enjoyed this.

I didn't picture a sociopath, though. Just someone who's had to live a very hard life.

That's because you're a nice person.

And I'm sure you are right, that's in there too.

Perks
02-25-2016, 10:48 PM
For me, I don't see sociopath. I see weariness (which, as opposed to garden variety fatigue, does have a dose of sadness.) To me, it diagrams an expectation to fight, a biological and sociological imperative that is separate from will, and sometimes at odds with it.

CassandraW
02-25-2016, 10:52 PM
I see William armed with an olive fork.

rugcat
02-25-2016, 10:59 PM
The frailties of humans and the grim reminders of our worst attributes can be seductive targets. There's just so much there to work with.

Writing something positive and uplifting is so very hard. The line between a universal truth that makes the heart soar and a Hallmark card whose cloying sentiment makes the throat gag is so narrow as to be almost invisible – until you step across it, which is so very easy to do.

Great poem, though.

Perks
02-25-2016, 11:34 PM
And an empathy stretch is always uplifting in its own way.

Silva
02-26-2016, 01:47 AM
This poem and this thread are both full of win.

William Haskins
02-26-2016, 05:18 AM
i appreciate you all reading.

Stew21
02-26-2016, 08:20 PM
I appear to be late to the party.

The poem is clever and sharp.
Smart word choices, and some really great turns of phrase.

I always appreciate the crafting of you work. No exception here.

Magdalen
02-27-2016, 05:31 AM
Missed this, somehow, now that I've caught up I say, thanks! and I enjoyed the short, brutish description of a nasty life led - always a pleasure to read your work, William.

skelly
02-28-2016, 12:11 AM
It doesn't have the gut-punch that I find in my favorite poems by you, but "bored with hunger" and "empty threat of thunder" caused this rhythm in my head as I reread and made me look at this one more on a language level than I normally would. Meanings and interpretations aside, I very much enjoy your dedication to crystal clear imagery and concise language.

poetinahat
03-02-2016, 05:23 AM
I keep misreading the title and wondering about someone nasty, British, and short.

Like the Danny de Vito character in a Merchant Ivory production of "Taxi".

William Haskins
03-02-2016, 05:52 AM
It doesn't have the gut-punch that I find in my favorite poems by you, but "bored with hunger" and "empty threat of thunder" caused this rhythm in my head as I reread and made me look at this one more on a language level than I normally would. Meanings and interpretations aside, I very much enjoy your dedication to crystal clear imagery and concise language.

i'll swing harder next time. seriously though, you hit upon one of two substantial experiments with language in this one, so i appreciate your comment.


I keep misreading the title and wondering about someone nasty, British, and short.

Like the Danny de Vito character in a Merchant Ivory production of "Taxi".

as designed.