Pygmies rampage over new law
UNITED NATIONS (Rugters) - Uganda's native pigmies began rampaging throughout the country on Wednesday evening after the government announced a crackdown on tourism. The Minister in charge of Uganda's tourism trade had issued an ultimatum that would effectively ban pigmies from the five major regions from using tourist for consumption.
“From the moment you land at Entebbe’s post-modern and inefficient international airport, with its breathtaking equatorial location on the forested shore of garbage-strewn Lake Victoria, it is clear that Uganda is no ordinary safari destination.” said Milano Hopepli in a statement released to the associated news people present.”
Marauding pygmies are massacring and eating tourist in the dense forests of north-east Uganda, according to United Nations officials who are investigating allegations of cannibalism in the Hufu province, where fighting between several rival pygmy groups has displaced about five people in the past month.
“The government of Uganda is dedicated to promoting tourism and keeping our visitors safe from the kettle of natives. We will enforce the new policies with rigor and not cave in to the demands of a small minority.” said Milano Hopepli.
However, the United Nations is sending the Chef in charge of foreign negotiations to assist with the preparations of a “tourist free” menu for the native pigmies of Uganda.
UNITED NATIONS (Rugters) - Uganda's native pigmies began rampaging throughout the country on Wednesday evening after the government announced a crackdown on tourism. The Minister in charge of Uganda's tourism trade had issued an ultimatum that would effectively ban pigmies from the five major regions from using tourist for consumption.
“From the moment you land at Entebbe’s post-modern and inefficient international airport, with its breathtaking equatorial location on the forested shore of garbage-strewn Lake Victoria, it is clear that Uganda is no ordinary safari destination.” said Milano Hopepli in a statement released to the associated news people present.”
Marauding pygmies are massacring and eating tourist in the dense forests of north-east Uganda, according to United Nations officials who are investigating allegations of cannibalism in the Hufu province, where fighting between several rival pygmy groups has displaced about five people in the past month.
“The government of Uganda is dedicated to promoting tourism and keeping our visitors safe from the kettle of natives. We will enforce the new policies with rigor and not cave in to the demands of a small minority.” said Milano Hopepli.
However, the United Nations is sending the Chef in charge of foreign negotiations to assist with the preparations of a “tourist free” menu for the native pigmies of Uganda.
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