Mentioning diverse traits in queries?

I think it really depends.

Does the sexuality affect the plot in any way (that it is important enough to mention this fact)? If not, just write a query describing the main plot. If a lover/sexual partner/life partner is relevant to the plot, you could mention them in the parts they play a big role in.

Basically, I think the decision on whether or not to mention the sexuality depends on the relevance of the sexuality to the plot, or if the lovers/sexual partners/life partners play important roles in the plot.

You mentioned that there are secondary events. Are the secondary events relevant to, or tie into the main plot in some way?

If not, then just write the query with the main plotline, (and treat the character like any other character). I'm sure someone reading the actual pages of the manuscripts can see the character's sexuality being expressed in the actual story.

This thread on diversity in query letters might help you

If the agent has specifically said they're interested in diverse novels or novels with LGBT characters, I'd include it and treat it as you would any other personalisation. 'Your MSWL mentioned that you're looking for diverse novels, and...'

KateH said:

This thread on diversity in query letters might help you

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This. Also I've seen the advice on Twitter and recommend just including it in the housekeeping section. Unfortunately if you don't mention it somehow, the default is generally assumed to be straight (or white or able-bodied, etc).

You write: (Character's name) is a gay male in his early twenties, and he yadda, yadda, yadda.

Generally I'd suggest you mention it if it's relevant in some way, either because it actually effects the plot or because it's something the agent is looking for.

Just using being homosexual for an easy "wow" factor in your query might do more harm than good, I'd think. Either way, you should probably mention it without forcing too much focus on the point.

I've struggled with this, because most agents I've been researching say they're particularly interested in fantasy with protagonists who come from underrepresented groups, cultures or perspectives, and my "dripping with voice but unburdened by world building details because it focuses on setting up the central conflict" query hasn't been doing too well (after its promising start last Jan).

The problem is, my fantasy takes place within a made-up world, and while my three main characters are each of a different race or culture within that world, and each that physically resembles races from our world, their cultures aren't based closely on anything from our world. So I can't just say, "TITLE is an X word fantasy novel set in a culture inspired by THIS RARELY SEEN IN FANTASY CIVILIZATION/HISTORICAL PERIOD" the way so many of the successful query letters I've seen lately on QT seem to.

But since non-European settings are also on wish lists, I'm reworking mine to sneak in hints, at least, that my settings isn't just "Ye Olde Fake Medieval England" either. The country where most of the world takes place is a matriarchy, they have "black powder" weapons, and the protagonist is the mixed-race son of a refugee. These things aren't the central conflict, but they're part of who the characters are, and they do come into the story as a complicating factor.

It's tough with sexual orientation, though, because the easiest way to slip it in is to mention a romantic relationship, and if there aren't any in the story, or if they're totally not a plot point you'd mention if the character were straight, then it feels awkward. And if being gay isn't a big deal or source of conflict at all, that's really cool and what some people want to see more of.

Would it work to simply mention it somewhere else in the query letter?

NAME is an X-word fantasy novel... It should appeal to fans of novels like [EXAMPLE] with LGBTQ protagonists who don't die or suffer other horrific hardships because of their orientation.

Or something like that?

Roxxsmom said:

NAME is an X-word fantasy novel... It should appeal to fans of novels like [EXAMPLE] with LGBTQ protagonists who don't die or suffer other horrific hardships because of their orientation.

Or something like that?

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Yep, that's how I do it.

mayqueen said:

Yep, that's how I do it.

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Sounds about right.

Yeah, just mention you have diverse characters or diversity elements.
(If you have lots of trouble, and have to twist the query into a convoluted pretzel just to include such elements, then maybe those elements just aren't that important to the book?)


That extra stuff sounds a bit... too much and totally unnecessary. A good story is a good story, regardless of tropes, endings, etc.

(Plus, there are books out there that have good endings, etc, for LGBTQA, like YA LGBTQA books, M/M Romances, some SFF, etc.)

Roxxsmom said:

The problem is, my fantasy takes place within a made-up world, and while my three main characters are each of a different race or culture within that world, and each that physically resembles races from our world, their cultures aren't based closely on anything from our world. So I can't just say, "TITLE is an X word fantasy novel set in a culture inspired by THIS RARELY SEEN IN FANTASY CIVILIZATION/HISTORICAL PERIOD" the way so many of the successful query letters I've seen lately on QT seem to.

But since non-European settings are also on wish lists, I'm reworking mine to sneak in hints, at least, that my settings isn't just "Ye Olde Fake Medieval England" either. The country where most of the world takes place is a matriarchy, they have "black powder" weapons, and the protagonist is the mixed-race son of a refugee. These things aren't the central conflict, but they're part of who the characters are, and they do come into the story as a complicating factor.

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Oh, jeez, that's where I am, lol. I'm trying to find a way to emphasize how my manuscript is different from your ho-hum "Ye Olde Fake Medieval England" setting - such as most cultures being matriarchal, the magic system being tied into physics, the beginnings of industrialization and firearms production, and the existence of "magitech" among civilizations of mages - without bogging down the query or getting in the way of explaining what the query needs to.

Let me know if you ever find a satisfying answer to that problem, I'd like to see how you did it

mayqueen said:

Yep, that's how I do it.

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I was trying to make a humorous reference to a certain overused trope that was discussed recently in another thread. Didn't mean to give offense.