Hi everyone. Thank you to all of those who helped me with the first beta reads. I really, really appreciate it. Made it ten times better.
I'm resurrecting this thread because I'd like to do a second beta round on this after the edits. I'm seeking maybe one or two readers. I am willing to swap so long as it's MG. If you're interested, here's the pitch:
When an old sea relic lands twelve-year-old Davy Jones aboard a pirate ship two hundred years in the past, he’s got to think quickly to stay alive. With a name like his and a crew spooked by his inexplicable appearance, Davy’s looking at taking a swan dive off the proverbial plank.
Using the apps on his smartphone—and a whole lot of nerve—Davy plays on the crew’s superstitions by convincing them that he totally is his mythical namesake who’ll curse them all if he’s chucked overboard. Little did he expect to be the one calling his own bluff. A vengeful ghost ship rises from its watery grave and Davy’s the one who accidently summoned it.
Zomb-pirates and soul-sucking sirens soon wreak havoc on Davy and the crew. And they are the least of his troubles. The ship’s captain is his ticket home, but his own selfish reasons for keeping Davy around while sea monsters run amuck provoke the crew to mutiny.
Now Davy will have to do more than fend off the soggy undead to get back home. He must keep the captain alive; unravel the mystery of what brought him to the past; and embrace the reality that he doesn’t just share a name with an infamous nautical superstition—he may be the very legend himself.
It’s ripe at69k68K words, written in first-person narrative, and basically a cross between Death Takes a Holiday, Dennis the Menace, and Black Sails. I’m looking for consistency issues, WTF-are-you-taking-about moments, likeability of characters, plot holes—that type of stuff. I’d also like to know if it’s too violent. I have a feeling readers are going to say it leans on the YA side, but I firmly believe it belongs in MG.
Also, my MC was previously a little to obnoxious, so I hope I was able to tone it down.
Thanks so much!
Dani
I'm resurrecting this thread because I'd like to do a second beta round on this after the edits. I'm seeking maybe one or two readers. I am willing to swap so long as it's MG. If you're interested, here's the pitch:
When an old sea relic lands twelve-year-old Davy Jones aboard a pirate ship two hundred years in the past, he’s got to think quickly to stay alive. With a name like his and a crew spooked by his inexplicable appearance, Davy’s looking at taking a swan dive off the proverbial plank.
Using the apps on his smartphone—and a whole lot of nerve—Davy plays on the crew’s superstitions by convincing them that he totally is his mythical namesake who’ll curse them all if he’s chucked overboard. Little did he expect to be the one calling his own bluff. A vengeful ghost ship rises from its watery grave and Davy’s the one who accidently summoned it.
Zomb-pirates and soul-sucking sirens soon wreak havoc on Davy and the crew. And they are the least of his troubles. The ship’s captain is his ticket home, but his own selfish reasons for keeping Davy around while sea monsters run amuck provoke the crew to mutiny.
Now Davy will have to do more than fend off the soggy undead to get back home. He must keep the captain alive; unravel the mystery of what brought him to the past; and embrace the reality that he doesn’t just share a name with an infamous nautical superstition—he may be the very legend himself.
It’s ripe at
Also, my MC was previously a little to obnoxious, so I hope I was able to tone it down.
Thanks so much!
Dani
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