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William Haskins
11-21-2015, 09:09 PM
Choose a hand,
but slowly—
savor the intrigue
of chance.

In one is a
petal of most precious
texture and fragrance
from which a new flower grows,
from which a new petal falls,
from which another grows,
and on until
manifests a meadow
through which you cut
your path to heaven.

In the other
the diminutive head
of a dragon, kitten-cute
and cuddlesome until,
from my pierced palm,
he snakes forth, his form
from my bones and tendons
braided into beast,
wings cleverly crafted
from all these stupid things.

Choose a hand,
but quickly—
provoke the consequence
of chance.

Now is your chance.

Perks
11-21-2015, 10:52 PM
This is one of my favorite things you've ever written. I'm hoping to be back with something better to say, but all I have right at this moment is that this is fantastic.

Magdalen
11-22-2015, 02:40 AM
Ooh, now here's some damn fine words flung from a screaming wind!! Really like this one a lot!

Sarita
11-22-2015, 09:53 PM
This is intense, heart-racing poetry that builds on you until you're left breathless from the beauty of it. Intense. Wow.

Kylabelle
11-23-2015, 01:33 AM
Along with the truly toothsome language in this exciting poem, the stunningly direct imagery and the rhythmic parallels at the end of each stanza, what sparks my interest is the unreality of both choices, their clearly fantastical nature, partly signaled also by a small negation in each stanza (cutting one's path to heaven in the first, and "stupid things" in the second). What's real is only that which is not said but is the sayer, the person speaking, who is in between those two hands and far more multiplex than either homogenous binary picture of "good" versus "bad" experience.

Awesome stuff.

William Haskins
11-23-2015, 08:37 PM
thank you all for reading.

Stew21
11-25-2015, 08:41 PM
So fantastic. Love this one.

CassandraW
11-26-2015, 06:07 AM
I was also intrigued by the imagery, not just the fantastical aspect of it, but also the allusion to religion in each of the two options -- e.g., the path to heaven and the pierced palm (the latter evoking the crucifixion, at least to me).

I'm still musing about the opening and closing -- one bidding the reader to choose slowly, and one to choose quickly. Since I've already bored you all to tears with analyses recently, and I'm still arguing with myself about this one, I will do you all a favor and not elaborate on my musings.

Stew21
01-27-2016, 06:50 AM
I was just looking through your poetry from your very prolific last few months.
It is so firmly (for me) an accusation about religion. both pieces of this poem (the light and dark) are the same, in substance - religion - but viewed as good and evil and ultimately still stupid.
What ultimately gets me is the pressure to choose. that, to me, is the point. And it is such a guessing game.

my question : what do I win if i guess right?
...
right.

This is excellent,

jaus tail
01-27-2016, 08:28 AM
I liked this. Thanks for posting it.