Have you been asked about much money you make as a writer?

My scenario is different because I write for kids. And so when asked questions like that it's usually by kids. So it's much easier to deflect. I either make a joke about being a gazillionaire, or I'm honest and say I'm very happy that I get to make my living writing and not having to do anything else. I haven't been asked by an adult though, and I haven't noticed anything particularly gendered about it. I am very curious though to see if there is a pattern. Do you find that women are assumed to make less than a man? Or that women get the question more often than men? I will say the very rare occasion that the conversation might come up about general funds in a group of people, people are curious if I'm able to support myself and impressed when I say I can. But these tend to be fellow artists who understand the struggles etc.

I will say I'm quite honest with my fellow writers because I think we tend to be trained that talking about money is bad form and so newbies coming into the game have no clue what to expect or what range is possible. I like being honest and professional about that because I think it's important we know the difference between what to expect at the Big 5 vs Smaller Publishers etc.

I'm an unpublished author, so take this with a grain of salt, but...

Eggplant is the devil and I won't rest until it's eradicated from the planet.

Fascinating about it being mostly men. I wonder what that means. Do men ask women specifically this question, or do they generally ask that question of everyone? Is it something where generally men quantify success at work through numbers and payment, as opposed to maybe women who might consider success having to do with personal satisfaction, job well done etc.? (no idea if this is true, just wondering since woman in the past had jobs that were unpaid or not paid very well, we had to find other ways of quantifying our value)

Still seems odd in general to just ask someone how much you make. I mean, isn't that considered crazy rude?

I believe it's generally rude to just go up to someone and ask, "How much do you make?" My guess is that if the number is high enough, they can think to themselves, "I can write a book too! Pfft, how hard can it be?"

Working on a WIP for quite a while now, I know firsthand how difficult it is to publish a book, and I'm not even at the publishing stage yet, and it's tough. Writers aren't known for being rich and there are very few writers that make enough money to work full time. It's fortunate you two are able to, but it doesn't happen to everyone. I feel in order for you to have a book published, especially if you want to do it full-time, you have to be beyond passionate about being a writer.

There are a lot of jobs that are a lot more difficult than it looks - jobs that don't sound like it takes a lot to be successful - then you go into it, and you find how difficult it really is.

I haven't, but when friends and acquaintances have found out that I have been published quite a bit they assume that I am making tons of money from my work. I'm not. Writing has been a good second income for me, but it's nowhere near what I would need to write full-time and give up my day job that also has great benefits.

Both sexes have made this assumption. I voted Eggplant!

I'd never really thought of it before, but yeah, it's only ever men that have just bluntly asked me "How much do you make?".

I will discuss finances with my writer friends, and our offline meetups tend to skew female because of location issues. I like to be honest about it because, like Toothpaste, I think the silence about pay does a disservice to writers. But those discussions usually come long into a friendship, where we're all very comfortable talking shop with one another and know each other boundaries, and have nowhere near the gross awkwardness of just being asked it out of the blue.

(And even then, we almost never bring us hard figures unless someone offers theirs.)

ErezMA said:

I believe it's generally rude to just go up to someone and ask, "How much do you make?"

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It depends on how much fiber I've take in the morning. It can be a good amount, especially if I have a full cup of coffee and a big dinner the night before.
There's a reason I don't have many friends.

As to the question, it hasn't come up much. But John was obsessed with how few sales I was getting in the first effing week of publication, and I've had to remind him a few times that I didn't get into the business expecting to strike it rich overnight.

Other than my accountant, no one asks. I don't encourage any such an invasive inquiry and shut it down with a firm "Sorry, you're not cleared for that information" and, of course, a smile. If that ends the conversation, so be it.

No one ever asked me. Guess it's eggplant all the way down.

Unless you're an IRS agent or my accountant, nobody needs to know how much $$$ I make from writing.

Depending upon my mood if someone is impertinent enough to ask, "Hey, how much money do ya make with that writin' stuff?" my response will be either "Not nearly enough" or "Nunya" as in "none of ya business".

Writing is the only profession where no one considers you ridiculous if you earn no money.

Jules Renard

Perks said:

Who's John?

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At times he can be someone I love very much. Other times he can be like a little bug that doesn't buzz so much as it gnaws on my inner ear. He projects his personal views onto the situation and is surprised when they don't work out exactly as he had them planned in his head.

So in the beginning, when it came to things like book sales, he could be very zealous in trying to get me "noticed" by everyone on his e-mail list.

I haven't known many who didn't ask in some way, at some time. If they don't ask directly, they still find ways to try to get me to tell them.

I don't mind. It's a natural question, and an important one for many of them. Even when it's just a nosy old fart, I don't care. Money is how most value the worth of anything, and I don't mind this, either. It's largely true, especially in the business world, and the monet you try to sell your writing, you're in business.

It may be that writers don't notice, but people ask this same question about every activity and occupation. I would, too, if I had any thoughts at all about entering that occupation.

This doesn't mean we have to tell the, and there's nothing wrong with a polite, "I don't tell anyone that", or even a nice, "It's really none of your business".

My answer changes depending on who is asking. I rarely say exactly, but if it's someone who isn't making much money, who has that desperate look, who prays every day for a chance, I give them a pretty fair estimate, and talk to them about what it takes to be a writer.

If it's someone who just wants to make certain that a writer can't possibly make as much as he does, I wait until he swallows a couple of antacids, and the play along. I'll often say something like, "Oh, I don't take money for my writing. I think big business and capitalism are the root of all evil, and those overpaid thieves who get rich of the backs of the poor should all be shot because they're just minions of the devil. Whatever money I do make is split between Communists of America, and Kill The Rich Demons, Inc. Not a penny of the filthy stuff reaches my bank account."

Really, I can't believe more of you don't have people ask. It really does seem that everyone I meet asks sooner or later. They not only want to know how much I make per year, but how much I made off every little article, short story, or recipe I've sold.

I really do understand why people ask, and it very rarely bothers me. It's not a national secret, and it's not like they're asking something with an answer that would embarrass me. I know what it's like to be dirt poor, and what it's like working your butt off on a dead end job. Far more often than not, something like this is behind the question.

ErezMA said:

I believe it's generally rude to just go up to someone and ask, "How much do you make?" My guess is that if the number is high enough, they can think to themselves, "I can write a book too! Pfft, how hard can it be?"

.

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I'm long out of the scene, but I'm told there are many dating bars now when women ask a man how much he makes before they sit down and have a drink.

As for the book, that may be what they're thinking, and they may be right. Quite a few writers have made multimillionaire status on the basis of a first book, and one that was written quickly. If they read a lot, and have talent, there's no reason they can't jump to the front of the line.

I really wouldn't mind if someone asked, and in fact someone DID ask right here on AW, on my publisher's thread, and I told them (so, after all, it wasn't eggplant -- but I don't remember if it was male or female). I don't mind at all. It's just that when everyone else is so secretive it feels a bit odd.
My publisher has a private Facebook group and there's a clique of them (us) who are making shitloads. We just had royalty time and that group was all jumping around for joy, but nobody said... I am actually very curious! I wish we could just all talk openly about it.
Why is money so sacred? It isn't to me.

I don't think money is sacred, but enough people have been burned by the judgment of others that they think it best to keep quiet on the subject. I'd happily discuss all the nitty gritty details openly with complete strangers even because I find it fascinating and I like talking math and numbers. But I'm no fool. People get envious. People decide your value based on your monetary status alone. And I don't have time for that.

Very true. I have never judged people on their "net worth" (I loathe that expression!) so maybe that's why I don't care so much-

I get asked all the time, especially once people realize I do this full time. If it's another writer who's looking for information (i.e., someone publishing within my genre who is wondering how likely they are to go full time), I'll be candid and honest. If it's someone who's got that "I already know the answer, which is that you make diddly squat" smirk on their face, I'll also be candid for no other reason than to watch that smirk fall off and to listen to their balls jumping up into their abdomen.

In most other situations, I just body swerve the question, because hello rude. >.< Some people.

Toothpaste said:

I don't think money is sacred, but enough people have been burned by the judgment of others that they think it best to keep quiet on the subject. I'd happily discuss all the nitty gritty details openly with complete strangers even because I find it fascinating and I like talking math and numbers. But I'm no fool. People get envious. People decide your value based on your monetary status alone. And I don't have time for that.

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I agree. And it's such crap, but enough to make me keep mum about how much I make unless I have a reason to disclose it. Also, it's just plain none of anyone's business unless their finances are tied to mine (i.e., my husband) or they're asking for business reasons (i.e., other writers).

I wonder if men have potentially been socialized to care more about money? They've been the traditional bread-winners for a lot of generations, and that probably makes money more of a point of stress for them. Likewise, women may potentially be socialized to care more about not tripping over social etiquette rules like "It's rude to talk about money", even when it's to their benefit to do so.

Personally, I think the etiquette rule about not talking about money exists to keep blowhards from crowing about how rich they are, which is universally obnoxious. Unfortunately, it's got the unfortunate side effect of making people feel unable to ask, "Is that guy being paid more than me for doing the same work?", which could help empower them if they did ask.

jjdebenedictis said:

I wonder if men have potentially been socialized to care more about money? They've been the traditional bread-winners for a lot of generations, and that probably makes money more of a point of stress for them. Likewise, women may potentially be socialized to care more about not tripping over social etiquette rules like "It's rude to talk about money", even when it's to their benefit to do so.

Personally, I think the etiquette rule about not talking about money exists to keep blowhards from crowing about how rich they are, which is universally obnoxious. Unfortunately, it's got the unfortunate side effect of making people feel unable to ask, "Is that guy being paid more than me for doing the same work?", which could help empower them if they did ask.

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Those are definitely possibilities.

Incidentally, when I have been candid about my income, it's the women who tell me I should "be careful" (whatever that means) because out-earning my husband is emasculating. That I should make him feel like he's still the breadwinner so he doesn't feel inadequate. Or something? It's weird.