What would YOU do?

My older son was attacked by his step-momster. Think I am stretching the truth? Listen to this:

They do not get along. Never have. She never misses a chance to tell him that he is worthless, unloved, unwanted, a burden. Her standard comment to him is, "You're just a punk-*** kid who'll never amount to anything."

He has just a coupla short months to go till graduation. Thank GOD! But he has to stay put or else it will wreck his graduation and his ability to get in-state tuition at the college where he is going in the fall.

I picked the boys up for Spring break yesterday. While I was driving in to my mom & dad's house the night before (they live a couple of hours away form my boys), Dan had a fight with his step-momster. She was nit picking, as usual. She always starts something when they are about to come here. This time it was about the clothes he left on his bathroom floor. She has a tendancy to flip completely out and Dan doesn't react well to that. She got in his face screaming and yelling and he stood there. (All of this is confirmed by my younger son who was there.)

She went into the punk-*** kid who'll never amount to anything stuff and Dan had just HAD it. He did it. Yep. He called her a *****. He's never done that before. So she went ballistic. Started beating the crap out of him. (Bear in mind that this is an upper middle class family - high end neighboord. The whole deal) Again, he stood there. At one point, he just grabbed her wrists to stop her, so she kicked him in the groin. When he doubled over, she hit him again in a way that knocked his arm into the corner of the doorway. His arm has a hairline fracture now.

This is an 18 year old kid who could have really hurt her if he had wanted to.

Here is the problem. I want to call the cops. Dan is begging me not to. (This happened day before yesterday) He thinks his dad will throw him out on his ear and he'll not be able to graduate and will lose his in-state tuition for college. He wants to try to tough it out for a couple more months and then be done with it.

Part of me wants to beat her to death, call the cops, SOMETHING! Another part of me understands that Dan's future depends on being able to tough it out just a little longer.

What would you do?!?! I am really torn. She has gotten away with this crap for so long. All because of fear of how it would play out afterward witht the boys.

Ex-jerk at first sided with the boys. He was still at the office when it happened. Seth called him and told him what was going on and HE actually said for Seth to call the cops. He quickly changed his opinion and said that he was coming home. She threw Dan out and he went down the street to a friend's house. As he was going out the door she kicked it shut and hit him with it. The friend's mom is the one who took him to the hospital. They didn't disclose anything. Said he had an accident and they weren't questioned about it.


By the time ex-jerk got home she had her story all lined out and twisted it like she does. Said that Daniel attacked her. (Please. He is as much of a pacifist as I am) So then he called Dan and told him that he needed to sit down and talk it out with her. She grabbed her kids and ran off to Tennessee to her mom's house and ex-jerk followed her.

I SO want to hurt this woman. You have no idea.

He does. I just edited and added that part about where he went. The friend's mom really wants him to stay there until graduation but Dan feels like he'd be a burden on their family.

He actually has a few freinds he could stay with. He gets thrown out by the step-momster and sometimes his dad fairly often and he ends up going to this friend's house or that friend's house. Most of them know her and know how she is. They aren't surprised when Dan comes knocking on their door and always take him in.

Did I mention that the step-momster is being sued? She is a special needs teacher (elementary age kids). She got fed up with her class one day and just walked out, leaving those kids unattended. The parents are suing her and the school.

They are here for a little more than a week. We are trying to get our heads together about what to do.

I do believe my boys. She's never been physically violent with either of them before - it's always a verbal-emotional mind screw thing. Seth stays under the radar. She doesn't seem to have any issues with him. He gets straight A's, keeps his mouth closed and does as he is told. When she yells as him he just stands there till she's done and then he goes to his room. Dan is mouthy. He always has been. That is no excuse for her hitting him.

We've been talking about it this morning. I've been sharing with him what you guys have shared with me. He had to stay with other families for 5 days about a month ago. I didn't know about it until it was over. He went from one friend's house to another. Each day when he saw his brother at school, he'd tell him where he'd be the next night. Seth was the only one who knew where he was from one day to the next and he'd sworn him to secrecy.

Dan really doesn't want to go to another friend's house. He says that all the parents made him feel very welcome, but that he always felt like he was imposing. I'll talk with one of the moms later this week and see what's up. She is the one who has taken him in the most and she knows their step momster the best - knows what she's really like because she's witnessed it first hand once when picking up her son at their house.

We just learned that he was accepted into the college of fine arts at the university he'll be attending in the fall. We knew he was accepted into the school, but didn't know until yesterday about the fine arts college. This should be such a thrilling time in his life. His dad and step-witch should be thrilled right along with him. But he only gets that from his dad's parents and my side of the family.

I wonder what informing the cops about this would do? Maybe it would straighten her out! Maybe it would shake his dad up enough to make him stand up and be a man - keep her in line!

GPatten said:

However, be prepared for what step-momster may do. She may just report Dan to the police.

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For what? He has a fractured arm and bruises. She has nothing.

DamaNegra said:

I know I'm going to look ignorant, but who does he have to stay there in order to graduate? Can't he just switch schools and finish high school somewhere else?

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Since he is so close to graduation, he can't transfer to another school. He'd have to take the equivelancy, and he'd also lose his in-state tuition for college in the fall. His tuition would more than double next year if he transferred out of state.

(The school hwere he is now has block scheduling and the schools in my district don't, so he couldn't just do a transfer and finish up here. Here, they are doing a full load of classes all year long. Shorter class periods and more classes during the day. There, they finished half of their classes in the first half of the year and are finishing the other half in the second half of the year. They have longer class periods and fewer classes per semester.) ETA: I got that wrong.

They actually DO have block scheduling here just like they do there, but the classes are reversed. The school where he is now is working on classes that were already covered in this school last semester. And vice versa.