- Joined
- Apr 12, 2005
- Messages
- 18,984
- Reaction score
- 6,937
- Location
- At some altitude
- Website
- www.jamie-mason.com
I'm not necessarily asking about what happened that almost killed you, although those stories are always fascinating and welcomed here if you feel like sharing.
What I'm looking for is, if you're willing, the lasting changes to your psyche and behavior (if any) your this-close-to-being-dead left you with.
- If it's been a long while since The Incident, how often do you think of it?
- Do you tell the story of that time I almost died in new company or is it a revelation that you save for closer friendships?
- How do you feel you handled you near-demise? Are you proud of yourself? Do you wish you had handled it differently?
For example, I was almost killed by a mistake during a common medical procedure. As it was, I was fine. But I was literally inches from being irretrievably dead. It was not something that I would have been able to be revived from. I tell the story easily and often, because it's crazy how close you can come to being dead, and yet walk away without a scratch. But the moment is a source of damned near self-loathing for me. I think about it all the time.
I have handled myself admirably in other crises, but this one time, I knew what was happening and I froze. I couldn't move or speak and could only watch myself nearly die over the course of a good fifteen seconds. I just sat there. (In the end, my head started twitching in some sort of involuntary reaction to my horror and a nurse saw it and saved me with almost nothing to spare.) I was just going to let it happen because I was frozen in horror and I am very disappointed in myself - even more than twenty years later. I don't trust myself to do the right thing in quick dire straits and I hate that.
So, there's my story. What's yours?
What I'm looking for is, if you're willing, the lasting changes to your psyche and behavior (if any) your this-close-to-being-dead left you with.
- If it's been a long while since The Incident, how often do you think of it?
- Do you tell the story of that time I almost died in new company or is it a revelation that you save for closer friendships?
- How do you feel you handled you near-demise? Are you proud of yourself? Do you wish you had handled it differently?
For example, I was almost killed by a mistake during a common medical procedure. As it was, I was fine. But I was literally inches from being irretrievably dead. It was not something that I would have been able to be revived from. I tell the story easily and often, because it's crazy how close you can come to being dead, and yet walk away without a scratch. But the moment is a source of damned near self-loathing for me. I think about it all the time.
I have handled myself admirably in other crises, but this one time, I knew what was happening and I froze. I couldn't move or speak and could only watch myself nearly die over the course of a good fifteen seconds. I just sat there. (In the end, my head started twitching in some sort of involuntary reaction to my horror and a nurse saw it and saved me with almost nothing to spare.) I was just going to let it happen because I was frozen in horror and I am very disappointed in myself - even more than twenty years later. I don't trust myself to do the right thing in quick dire straits and I hate that.
So, there's my story. What's yours?